


In A Voice That Came From You and Me

by passionately_curious



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-13
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-11-14 03:10:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 113,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passionately_curious/pseuds/passionately_curious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss Everdeen is a member of the popular band, District 12. What happens when the band, and her life, falls apart and Katniss is forced into the solo spotlight? With the help of a skilled songwriter, Peeta Mellark, can she be successful on her own or will she fall back into the shadow of her past? AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“He wants to do what?!?” She pinched the bridge of her nose as the gruff man began screaming obscenities through the phone. She expected Haymitch to be angry about his clients' decision but nothing prepared her for the verbal onslaught. She wasn't sure half the words flying out of his mouth were even real words. She just waited until he asked an actual question to acknowledge him “What in God's name for?”

“I don't know the full reason, Haymitch. All I know is that Jo came to me a few days ago-”

“A few days?!? What the hell, Effie?”

She pursed her lips and swore he could hear it. “A few days ago,” she repeated slowly, “Jo came to me and told me that things were different this time. It was the next morning that Seneca informed me of what was occurring.”

He let out the exasperated sigh she knew he had been holding in. “They are number one in the world right now. Number one. In the world. Their record sales might as well be single-handedly keeping Snow's music division afloat!”

“I'm aware of that. Believe me, we've looked at this from every angle.”

He's silent for a minute before he laughs. “It doesn't matter.”

“What?”

His laugh builds. “It doesn't matter! They are the most financially rewarding investment in the company. There's no way they're letting them go.”

“Haymitch.” She loses a bit of her composure when she speaks his name as softly as she does. He catches it immediately. The laughter subsides.

“Effie Trinket.” His voice is low and warning. “Did the label already approve the break?”

“A few hours ago.” Her stomach dropped at her admission, from the guilt of not telling him sooner. “The press conference is scheduled for tomorrow morning.”

“Why did you wait to tell me? I could have talked some sense in them.”

“Because Snow knew you'd try to intervene. He knows it's a risk to let it happen but that's why he stipulated that it could only be temporary. Among other things,” she explained, hearing her voice rise in pitch with each sentence. “I wanted to tell you, Haymie, I did, but he wouldn't let me – he insisted I had to wait until everything was official.”

“Ef,” he responded softly. She suddenly wished she had this conversation with him in person rather than on the phone. Initially she thought this would be easier – she'd be able to stay distant and calm. Now she wanted more than anything to hold him and run her hands through his hair. She wanted to be what calmed him rather than the liquor she was sure he was searching for. She leaned into the headset and blinked back the tears in her eyes. His voice was no longer laced with anger; he sounded as broken as she felt. “I thought the fights were just ego trips, idle threats. I never imagined he'd follow through on any of them.” She heard him take a few long swigs of a liquid and sigh.

An almost inaudible click broke their silence. Effie snapped her neck to the screen on the desk phone and pursed her lips. “There is a press conference scheduled for tomorrow morning. You, obviously, will need to be there as their manager. It would be in your best interest to to make yourself presentable, as you are an official representative of Snow Management,” she clipped in an indifferent voice.

“Fax me the information,” he responded, his gruff demeanor returning.

“Give me an hour. Goodbye Mr. Abernathy.” The click came over the phone again and she whispered, “I'm so sorry,” before setting the receiver down. She wasn't sure if he heard her but she knew it needed to be said. Haymitch Abernathy was a has-been drunk who was only still around because he had been dubbed as one of the best guitarists of his generation when he was only 15. He hadn't had much success being a manager until District 12 came along. He, literally, stumbled upon them one night and Effie noticed an immediate change in him. She petitioned to work with him as a PR rep for the band, determined to make them a success. Together they helped the band grow from playing college bars to selling out stadiums worldwide. In those two years, the pair grew closer, leaning on one another in ways they never could with anyone else. It was a delicate dance between the two – shared glances and smirks, flirtatious jokes, electricity-induced touches in secret. 

It was the hopelessness in his voice that got stuck on replay. He was on shaky ground and she refused to watch him self-destruct again, but she didn't know what she could possibly do anymore that would actually help and not just distract. They were good at distracting one another from their actual issues but he needed more. She vowed to help him in anyway she could. Reading over the latest email exchange, she caught a line that she must have missed earlier. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she 

She pressed the intercom button her desk and seconds later, a hologram image of her assistant appeared. “Venia?” She called out.

“Yes, Mrs. Trinket?”

Effie's jaw clinched slightly at the reminder of why she shouldn't allow one Mr. Haymitch Abernathy under her skin the way she does. Why she shouldn't care if he drinks himself into a coma tonight for any reason beyond him attending the press conference in the morning. Professionalism, Effie, she chastised herself. “I need you to to get someone on the phone for me. And I need him tonight.” She watched as the tall, thin woman brought up a program on the computer and look towards her, indicating that she's prepared. “Dr. Henri Boggs at Northwestern.”


	2. Chapter 2 - Your Everything

He scowled at his computer screen as he deleted and retyped the same sentence he had been working on for the past twenty minutes. He was praised for his ability to make obituaries not sound depressing and cliché but he was having trouble figuring out how to make the guy who died because he wrapped himself around a light pole while dodging the cops not sound like he deserved it.

“You keep making that face and it’ll stick, Mr. Mellark.” A seductive voice floated into his cubicle, forcing his eyes from his work. Standing in the entryway was his co-worker, Delly Cartwright, all dolled up in a low-cut black dress that hugged her every curve perfectly. If ever there was a pictorial definition of being poured into a dress, it would be her in this. Her blonde hair was curled and pinned half-up with a few ringlets left loose.

“Big night tonight?” he asked, leaning back in his chair and admiring the body she often kept more covered up in jeans and blouses. He was slightly disappointed that her investigation was nearly over and she’d go back to her usual attire. It wasn’t that he was attracted to her, but he watched her confidence blossom and hoped she wouldn’t revert back now that she could actually pick out her own wardrobe.

She posed in the doorway before letting out a small giggle and sitting across from him. “Guess who has a meeting with Mayor Undersee’s son? I’m finally going to crack the little bastard. Lord knows it’s been long enough. Trying to remain charming around that slug has taken every ounce of strength I have. But it’ll be worth it if I can get the truth out of him.”

“When you get the truth,” he corrected. Delly had been working on uncovering the mayor’s son’s alleged drug ring for the last six months. 

She flipped a strand of her dyed blonde hair over her shoulder. “I just can’t wait to going back to being me again. Acting like a bimbo may have actually killed some of my brain cells. But,” she shrugged, “duty calls, I suppose.”

“So what brings you over to the most depressing section of The Capitol?” he asked, over-emphasizing the name of the paper in an accent that rivaled that of their editor’s. 

She lit up and smirked. “I have some gossip."

Rolling his eyes, he nodded toward the opposite corner of the news room. “Tabloids are over there. I’m sure Glimmer or Cato would be thrilled to hear your gossip.” The tabloid section was notoriously ruthless. They’re called “The Careers” because while most young interns move around different sections to find their niche, the tabloid writers are hand selected and groomed by their superiors. They bring in the majority of the revenue for The Capitol so they often act like they can do whatever they want, which usually entails missing meetings, sleeping at work, and being general nuisances to the rest of the staff.

“Please,” she scoffed, “like I would dignify them with my presence. I am a real journalist, not a piece of trash who has to ambush people just to get a story.” He gave her a look which made her laugh. “I’m not ambushing Mr. Undersee, Peeta. I am doing undercover work. They harass and make up stories. I do actual investigating. And if you compare me to those rodents one more time I won’t tell you the piece of gossip that you may be very interested in.” She went to stand and he put his hand out to stop her.

“Alright, alright, I’m listening, Delly.”

She sat back down. “Good. So, Natasha told Blake who told me that Heavensbee is in a secret meeting. A meeting that involved Natasha sending work samples from every department to him.”

“Why?”

“That’s the thing – no one knows.” She said in a hushed voice. “But Blake also said that after the meeting, Devon was instructed to write up a series of job advertisements for a few of the departments here, but was sworn to secrecy about which ones.”

“Why is this something I would be interested in?” He asked.

“Well, we all know Devon can’t keep a secret around pretty girls.” She handed him a slip of paper. “These are the departments.”

He scanned the list. _Finance. Health. Tabloids. Obituaries._ He let out a gulp. The only reason the Obits were their own department was because they didn’t fit in anywhere else. In reality, he was the entire department. If there was a job opening there it was his. He glanced back up at her and saw that her eyes were soft. She was thinking the same thing.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Peeta, you’re the best writer on the entire staff. Heavensbee would be out of his mind if he fired you.” She reached across and placed her hand on top of his. “I just wanted to give you a heads up, just in case.”

He nodded, unsure what to say. A rock was forming in his stomach.

She squeezed his hand. “It’s almost 5. I’ve got to get to my thing tonight. But I should be done by 9. Meet me for a drink? Riley’s. 9:30. And, really, Peet, try not to think about it too much. Hopefully it’s one of those brainless papo’s that gets canned.” She shot him a wink as she says this and he snickered.

“A boy can dream.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Well, wish me luck tonight. I get the feeling I’m going to be needing more than just a drink by the end of the night. Like maybe a chemical shower.”

“First round’s on me. You’ll do great, Dell.” He answered, feigning a smile for her. She popped out of the chair and sauntered out of his cubicle. He listened to her heels click down the hallway a few paces and she let out a giggle far too loud to be natural.

“Oh, Mister Heavensbee, I almost didn’t see you there.”

“Miss Cartwright, good to see you! My, my, you certainly are ready to do some damage tonight, aren’t you? Going to have that story for me tomorrow?”

“In time for the evening press,” she answered.

“Good, good. I’ve gone over the draft. So far it looks good. I can’t wait to read the conclusion.”

“You and me both, Mister Heavensbee,” she laughed. “You and me both.”

“Good luck to you, Miss Cartwright. May the odds be in your favor tonight.”

Peeta heard her heels clip away and he focused back on his screen. _Mr. Julius Niemeyer, a twenty-nine year old, independent business-man was tragically taken from his family at 4:37 in the morning when he lost control of his vehicle._ Peeta snorted as he wrote the words, knowing he would eventually delete in favor of something more poetic. But at the moment, he could barely focus. He already had the normal obituaries written – the ones that just gave ages and family members – and now just had to finish the longer, more newsworthy pieces. These were the pieces that let him actually paint a picture of the person’s life. This was where he normally flourished.

“Mister Mellark! Good to see you!”

Taking a deep breath, he stood to greet his boss. “Mister Heavensbee. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I’m just doing my rounds, checking on my little worker bees,” he laughed. Peeta chuckled nervously. Heavensbee took his pocket watch out of his vest pocket. “Why don't you come with me, Mister Mellark. I'm on a bit of a schedule.” He motioned for Peeta to follow him.

They stopped at a few more cubicles, but since it was past 5pm on a Friday night, there weren't too many writers left for Heavensbee to 'check on.' They ended up at his office and Heavensbee opened his door and motioned for Peeta to enter. “Have a seat, Mister Mellark. How are the obituaries treating you?”

“Um, they're fine, sir.”

“Not too much trouble, I suppose. It can't be terribly hard to write about how people have died, can it?” Peeta cringed slightly, which Heavensbee noticed. “Although the extra effort you put into the longer pieces doesn't go unnoticed. The last guy with your job didn't even bother with those, said no one reads them.”

“The families do,” Peeta responded.

Heavensbee pursed his lips and nodded. “How long have you been here, Mister Mellark?”

“Four years, sir.”

“And how long have you been writing the obituaries?”

Peeta was confused. He knew that Heavensbee knew this information, given that he was having an ad written for his job. “Three and a half, sir.”

“Why the obituaries? You came here with a dual degree in journalism and creative writing. Neither of which are utilized in that department. Yet you have never put in a request for a transfer and when you were offered a promotion you declined it.”

“Because no one else could do my job the way I do,” he answered. Heavensbee didn't respond, so Peeta continued. “It's like you said. The last guy here didn't care enough to even try. No one wants the obituaries even though it's the last thing any of these families will have written about their family members. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have the person writing those not care.” He shrugged. “Everyone deserves to go out on a positive note, I suppose.”

“It is unfortunate for me how passionate you are about your position, Mister Mellark. Most unfortunate.”

Peeta felt his stomach drop and his palms start to sweat. “Why is that, sir?” He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible. He didn't want anyone to get in trouble for spreading gossip around the newsroom, even if the gossip turned out to be true.

Heavensbee leaned back in his seat and slid a thick binder across the desk towards the young writer. “Because I hate to let young talent like you go.”

Peeta thought he was going to throw up. “Um. I, I understand, sir. If I may – why? If I do my job better than my predecessor and have talent and am passionate, why am I being fired?” He stared down at his hands, he knew if he looked at his boss he'd lose any semblance of composure he was faking.

He was surprised when his boss began laughing. He glanced up and saw that not only was Heavensbee laughing, his face had turned a bright shade of red and he had tears in his eyes. “My boy, you're not being fired.”

“But you said you had to let me go,” he answered, trying to catch his breath and understand what was happening but his brain and body weren't cooperating and instead couldn't do either. He felt like like a complete fool, not breathing or moving, while his boss was cracking up across from him.

“I apologize, Mister Mellark. I should have made myself clear.” The laughter subsided and he only smiled at the young man. “I had a meeting earlier with someone looking for a writer with passion and heart and drive. Someone who was willing to do whatever it took to make an impact. There was only one person in this entire department who fit that description. Although, I'll admit, I had to pull out your actual application samples and letters from professors to convince her that you were more than just the man who wrote obituaries.” He motioned toward the binder and Peeta opened it. Inside was every piece of writing he had submitted for his professional file – his samples from each department during his internship, a few of his obituaries that he was most proud of, and his college work. “It was the last piece that won her over.” Peeta flipped to the end and inhaled sharply. It was a poem he had written about a woman he saw only once. She had been walking by the bakery he worked at through college and though she was surrounded by security guards, she glanced into the window and he was mesmerized by her eyes, so gray they seemed to pierce through his being. He didn't even know it was in his file until now.

  
_The first time I looked in your eyes I knew_  
That I would do anything for you  
The first time you touched my face I felt  
Like I've never felt with anyone else  
I wanna give back what you've giving to me  
And I wanna witness all of your dreams  
Now that you've shown me who I really am  
I wanna be more then just your man  
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails  
And be the hand that lifts your veil  
And be the moon that moves your tide  
The sun coming up in your eyes  
Be the wheels that never rust  
And be the spark that lights you up  
All that you've been dreaming of and more  
So much more, I wanna be your everything...  
When you wake up, I'll be the first thing you see  
And when it gets dark you can reach out for me  
I'll cherish your words and I'll finish your thoughts  
And I'll be your compass baby, when you get lost  
Be the wheels that never rust  
And be the spark that lights you up  
All that you've been dreaming of and more  
So much more, I wanna be your everything...  
I wanna be your everything 

“Where did you get this?” He asked in a whisper, his eyes never leaving the words. He hadn't shown anyone the poem about the mystery girl except one of his creative writing professors in college. “Boggs.”

“It's a shame to let you go, Peter, but this is a better use of your talent.” Heavensbee's use of his proper name broke him from his spell. He looked up and his boss was smiling sadly at him “If you don't want to take it, I'd understand. But if the only reason you don't want it is because you don't think anyone else will take the obituaries as seriously as you do, I'll fire you myself. You're allowed to be selfish every once in a while. This is your opportunity to shine.” 

Peeta was surprised at the softness in his voice. It was almost father-like, which was odd since the two had only spoken candidly a handful of times in the past. “What's the job?”

“Snow Management would like to hire you as a songwriter.”

He looks back down at the poem and chuckles. No wonder that’s what convinced the representative, he thought. “When would I start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that I forgot the disclaimer in the last chapter. I, obviously, don't own THG. This particular storyline is mine, as are the deviations from Suzanne Collin's original characterizations of the...well...characters.  
> Also – I don't own any of the songs used throughout the story. Credit will be given where credit is due.  
> “Your Everything” was originally written by Bob Regan and Chris Lindsey and performed by Keith Urban.  
> I have a pretty eclectic taste in music so expect a wide variety of genres in this story.  
> Again – thanks for all the support!! :)


	3. Chapter 3

The flashes of light would be blinding if they hadn't been well-trained to stare at a spot above the press. Supposedly it looks as though they were looking through the crowd, rather than trying to ignore them. Katniss preferred it if they knew she was trying to ignore them. Effie Trinket reassured them that it was convincing so she sucked it up and played her part. She smiled as they walked in, answered the questions pointed directly at her, and nodded along to her band mates' answers. Former band mates.

“Why now?” a reporter called out. She noticed Haymitch, out of the corner of her eye, twitch slightly, either from anticipation of hearing the answer or from last night's bender working its way out of his system.

Gale, our front man, cleared his throat. “We just, as a group, decided that it was time for a break.” Katniss smirked at the response and heard a small snort come from the other side of the table. There was no group decision. They were all called into Seneca Crane's office a few days ago where he announced that one member voiced a desire for the dissolution. They were all popular with the fans but only one of them had that kind of influence with the actual label.

“The 'Victory Tour' was the most successful tour in Snow Management history. And your album went platinum within the first week of it's release,” another voice called out.

“Yes.” Finnick replied with a smile. “Was there a question in there?”

The reporter laughed. “Is it really the wisest option to break up at this point in your careers?”

“It's better to go out on top, right?” Finnick joked again, flashing his brilliant smile. By far, he was the most attractive member of the band and knew how to play audiences like his guitar. He and Katniss had gotten off to a rough start when they first met but once she saw past the act she realized that he was a genuinely good person and that his behavior was just that, an act.

“Does the break-up have anything to do with the latest rumors of personality conflicts within the group?”

Katniss rolled her eyes as she recognized Cato Montgomery's voice. He was the fitting example of everything that was wrong with journalism. She scanned the crowd, searching for the cocky smile she knew he'd have plastered on his face. That one question would, inevitably, turn the entire conference into a Q&A about the multitude of rumors that were constantly surrounding the band. The rumors that he and his band of cronies at 'The Capitol' probably had a major hand in spreading.

“Rumors are just rumors,” Johanna answered with a sinister smile. “We all get along famously. We've been close friends from the beginning and remain so to this day.” Johanna had a reputation for having a wicked temper and was once labeled as someone who'd come after you with an ax if you got on her bad side. It probably didn't help that she had two assault charges on her record following some very public breakups. She was drumming her thumbs against the table when Finnick reached over and placed his hand over hers, calming her down. Those two were friends when the band formed, like Katniss and Gale were, and shared a similar connection.

She was right about Cato's question, the reporters now felt at ease enough to bring up every piece of gossip about the band from the past two years, trying to dissect what could possibly explain why they were breaking up. She stopped listening to most of the questions but kept the shy smile on her face that she knew they expected from her.

“I'm curious, Mr. Hawthorne, if you'd be willing to comment on the recent actions of your wife?” Cato's voice rang out again, catching Katniss' attention.

Gale swallowed hard and a thin sheen of sweat formed on his brow. He rarely, if ever, talked about his private life in public and did his best to keep his family out of the press' line. He pursed his lips and threw a look of concern over to Katniss. “And what actions would those be, Cato?” He asked, his voice low.

“That she's filing for divorce?” Gale swallowed hard again, shifting his attention from the reporter back to Katniss, then back to the reporter. The cocky smile was wider than ever. “And citing infidelity on your latest tour as the cause.” His emphasis made his intention clear. He wanted to know if Gale was sleeping with someone who was on tour with them. Gale pulled his eyes away from Cato, but rather than glancing at Katniss, he opted to only look down at his hands.

“Uh...”

“Can you confirm or deny those rumors?” Cato pushed, having caught the change in demeanor. “Or if you're not willing to, perhaps someone else will. Miss Everdeen, what do you have to say about Mr. Hawthorne's behavior while away from his wife?”

The blood drained from her face and she felt her stomach drop. She shot a glare at Gale who was actively avoiding her. She clenched her jaw, angry that he wasn't willing to help her out of this incredibly awkward situation. Angry that rather than be upset about the future of the band, he was more upset about rumors about his wife. The wife he told her he was considering leaving anyway because they had grown too far apart. The anger boiled up inside her and she scowled at the crowd. “Yes, Cato, the rumors are true.” She responded in a flat voice. Immediately, a murmur passed through the crowd. She didn't bother to look at Gale as she continued. “Gale has been sleeping around with every female staffer on the our tour. Johanna was recruited to go to space with the Russians and Finnick's tattoo of the Dali Lama is on his lower back, not his shoulder blade, but he keeps it covered up with makeup so no one can ever see it. Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell do any of these stupid lies have to do with the band? Seriously, enough with the bull shit. If all you're going to do is waste our time and ask questions for your gossip columns, then I'm out of here!” She pushed her chair and threw a half-smile toward Johanna, Finnick, and Haymitch who were watching her in a mixture of disbelief and amusement. The smile dropped when she noticed that Gale still hadn't looked up from his hands. She set her jaw and stomped away from the line of rabid reporters now calling her name.

She stormed into the hotel suite Effie had booked for her for the next few days. She wanted to go to her home but was warned that there would be a swarm of reporters hoping to catch a quote or picture of the band members following the press conference. And given the mini temper tantrum she just threw, she was thankful that someone on their staff was thoughtful enough to consider all their options. She collapsed on her couch as her brain replayed everything that had happened in the last few days. Where had it all gone wrong?

* * *

She dozed in and out for the next few hours, ignoring the near constant buzzing of her cell phone. She was sure her mailbox would be full of frantic voice mails from Effie who would berate her for her lack of manners at the conference and that was just a voice she didn't want to hear right now. She only wanted to talk to one person and judging by his reaction to her leaving, she didn't get her hopes up.

* * *

He called her two hours later. “What the hell was that, Katniss? I am fully capable of defending myself and my marriage. I don't need you to make things worse by confirming anything!”

“Sure didn't seem like you were handling the situation,” she shot back. “Looked to me like you couldn't form a sentence, let alone deny any allegations. The longer you sat there like an idiot the more you condemned yourself.”

“Well you'll be happy to know that your outburst effectively ended that line of questioning. Unfortunately, it opened up a new one where we had to explain what the hell was going on in your head.”

“I'll tell Haymitch to tell Effie to blame it on stress again. Your secret is safe, Gale.”

“Our secret, Catnip,” he corrected and her body tensed. He softened his voice, “we need to talk. What room are you in?”

“718.”

Ten minutes later, he knocked at the door and she let him in. He closed the door and wrapped her up in his arms. She inhaled sharply but relaxed when she felt his head rest on her shoulder. “I'm sorry, Katniss. So, so sorry.” His voice was breaking and he tightened his hold on her. When they pulled apart, she led him to the couch. She sat on the coffee table across from him and plopped her bare feet in his lap. There were countless pictures of the two of them in his position throughout the years. It appeared, on the outside, like two friends casually hanging out.

“Did you know?” She asked as he started to rub her feet. “About the divorce, I mean. Before Cato said anything?”

“I had an idea,” he admitted. “She's been staying with her sister for the last three months and that witch has had it out for me since the wedding. I just didn't realize she ever suspected anything.”

Katniss bit her bottom lip at his words. Leevy asked Katniss if she should be worried about Gale's behavior the night before they started on their tour. She told the other woman that all Gale did was talk about her and how he refused to be left alone with any female fan or staff member. What she didn't tell her was that when he talked about her, it was how unhappy he was with her. And that she was the one Leevy should have been concerned about. Or that her concern started a year too late.

It was wrong, she knew, having an affair with her married friend while comforting and reassuring his wife that nothing was happening. But Gale was unhappy with Leevy, he had told Katniss that long before they first slept together, and he was happy when he was with her. She made him feel things his wife never did. And Gale was the only person she had ever felt like herself around. Was it anymore unfair to deny them that just because he met Leevy first? 'Of course it is,' she reminded herself. But that internal voice wasn't nearly as loud as the one who told her she deserved some happiness in life, too.

“I take it you talked to her?”

He nodded. “Yea. Well, I called her. It was her sister who went to the courthouse. You know how similar the two look. I guess whoever saw her must have gotten confused.”

She studied his face, not missing how, once again, his eyes refuse to meet hers. “So the papers weren't for her?” She hates that he doesn't respond so she asks again, pulling her feet out of his grasp.

“They are. Or, were, before I talked to her. Calmed her down.”

“So...she's not filing for divorce?” Katniss asked slowly, attempting to keep the rising disappointment from spilling out in her tone.

Gale shook his head. “No. I talked her out of it. Told her about us, about the band,” he quickly corrected, “being done. I told her I was taking some time off before doing any solo work so I could spend time with her and be the dutiful husband she wants me to be.”

The familiar feeling from this morning built up inside of her again. She pulled her legs completely back so they were tucked under her. “And that worked? She believed you?”

He nodded.

“When you go to play the 'dutiful husband' and start your solo career what am I supposed to do?”

He looked at her, his eyes pleading with her. “You...I don't know, Katniss, you live your life. You do what you've been wanting to do all this time.”

She glared at him, her fists clenched at her side. “And what will happen with us?”

“Katniss, she's my wife. I made promises to her,” his voice rose slightly but was still controlled.

She scoffed. “Promises? What about the promises you made to me?”

“It's not the same. I mean, we're married. Those promises are more...” He gestured in an attempt to convey his meaning without saying it.

“More what, Gale?”

“They're just more!” He finally snapped.

She lost any semblence of control she had. “So the words you said to me mean less because you said that while you were screwing me?” She kicked his shins with her heel and he flinched.

“Jesus, Katniss! Stop it!” He hissed, rubbing his leg. “And lower your Goddamn voice. These walls aren't exactly soundproof.”

She opened her mouth to respond but no words came out. She realized what was going on. How he was more upset about the divorce rumors than at the actual break up of the band. That he was more concerned with someone hearing their fight than the fact that they were actually having one. This wasn't the first time he had picked his wife over her. “Get out.” The words finally croaked out of her throat. He began to protest but she repeated herself, turning her head away from his. As he walked past, he brushed her hands with hers.

“I am sorry, Katniss. This isn't how I wanted this to happen.” His voice was so soft, so sincere. She desperately wanted to look back to him, to tell him she didn't mean it, that she understood why he had to do what he was doing. She wanted to but before she could, he was out the door. This time, as she fell on her couch, she allowed the tears that she had been fighting off, fall freely. He was gone. The band was gone. Everything was over.

* * *

Her room was dark when she finally opened her eyes again. Her head was pounding from crying. She checked her phone, hoping for a message from Gale but there was nothing new. Just as she was about to hurl her phone across the room, it began ringing.

“Yes.”

“Don't take that tone with me, sweetheart. Not when I'm about to hand you a golden opportunity.” Only one person ever called her sweetheart and got away with it.

“And what would that be, Haymitch?”

“Come down the bar. We'll chat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't own the HG. No copy-write infringement intended. No money being made. Yada, yada, yada  
> Thank you SO much to everyone who has read and enjoyed this story. I don't have a beta so I apologize for grammar issues. I've been re-reading the chapter trying to catch them all but that wasn't my strong point in school and still isn't.  
> Um, so I don't like Gale. I didn't like him in the original series and therefore, he's pretty unlikable in this story. He's kind of a jerk. And by kind of, I mean he's a major tool...as you'll see in this chapter. So...sorry to people who like Gale.  
> Also – there's some swearing. Hopefully that's doesn't offend anyone but since this is rated M I guess you kind of knew what you may be getting into? Meh. Enjoy.  
> So we've met Peeta and Katniss and been introduced to the band. Next chapter – they meet! I'm always on the lookout for new music so if you review and suggest something maybe it'll make an appearance. I've got the basic storyline fleshed out but the details are still fuzzy so there's some wiggle room.


	4. Chapter 4

“Well look who decided to grace us with her presence. And only an hour and a half after it was requested. New record.”

Katniss scowled at her manager's announcement as she slid onto the stool next to him.

“Effie's on her way here,” he said over his drink. When she cocked her eyebrow at him, he continued. “While I understand your stunt this morning, that woman is quite...distraught...over it.”

“Her and her 'manners',” she snorted.

“Be that as it may or may not be, I'm not quite in the mood to handle her handle your moodiness so get that in check before she gets here.”

“Just blame it on my stress. It's worked before,” she grumbled.

He shook his head and downed the rest of his drink. “It won't be that easy this time. Effie's not the only one upset with you and your outburst. You made a scene, an embarrassing one; made yourself look loose cannon and that's not appealing to the public. You're on Snow's radar, sweetheart, but not in a good way.”

In the two years they'd been working together, she couldn't recall at time when he was so candid. He usually got his point across through his behavior and use of cryptic phrases. She quickly picked up on what his actions, or lack of action in most cases, meant and formed a stronger bond with him than any of the others in the band. “What does that mean for me?” she asked, massaging her forehead.

“Before the press conference, I was informed that you all wouldn't be allowed out of your contracts quite as easily as you may like. There are some stipulations.”

“Like what?” The bartender came over and she ordered two of whatever Haymitch was drinking. He smirked at her selection but she just shrugged him off.

“You still have two years left on your contract with him. On this particular contract, anyway. Under normal circumstances, you'd have two options – you either work or buy yourself out.”

“He can do that?” She asked, taking a sip of the drink that appeared. She had learned the hard way, that when she drank whatever Haymitch was drinking to take sips not swallows. At least if she wanted to remain somewhat cognizant of what was happening.

He nodded. “He can do whatever he wants. He owns you.”

His words sent shivers down her spine. “So I'll buy myself out. We've all got plenty of money.”

“Not nearly enough. Seems it only takes a matter of an hours for Snow to alter your buyout amount.” The implication was clear as he took a long draw of his drink.

“Can I do what you did, just help mentor new bands?”

He took a deep breath. Finally setting his glass on the bar he looked her square in the face. “You can't. He wants the public to believe that he didn't make a mistake in keeping you on.”

“A mistake?”

“Every time you did something that we ended up blaming on stress, it came back to him. He's been able to keep it quiet but this one apparently tipped the scales. The 'stipulation' on your particular contract states that you have to continue selling albums.”

She swallowed hard, tapping her slender fingers around her drink. “But the band's done. What, am I going to be on Gale's new album?” Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't have thought that was a bad deal but after their fight today in her room she didn't think she could bring herself to working with him. No, not with him, under him. He was doing this alone – she'd just be a prop to his success.

“No. Your own.”

She had chosen the wrong time to take a sip of her drink as she nearly spit it back out. Alone? That idea made her stomach drop harder than working with Gale. “What?” She felt the room narrow and thought she was about to fall off her stool. It was only Haymitch's grasp on her shoulders that brought her back to reality. “He wants me to do what? I don't...I don't sing in public, I never have. It's always been Gale.”

“That's all about to change,” he said quietly, shaking his head slightly and staring at the floor. “It has to. You don't want to know what he'll do if you're not successful.” They sat for a few minutes, letting the uncomfortable silence settle around them. He cleared his throat. “Now, look, that's the deal. Wipe that look off your face or you'll give Effie something else to yell about.”

She looked over her shoulder and saw the tornado of color that was Effie Trinket entering the hotel lobby. “Oh crap,” she mumbled. She and Effie weren't close; they barely tolerated on another on a good day. And today was anything but a good day.

The normally put together woman turned toward them and her plastered-on smile quickly tightened. “Katniss Everdeen!” She called out, heading toward them. Though there was a large crowd forming in the lobby and bar, they seemed to part just for her. “What were you thinking? Have you absolutely no manners?” Her voice clipped in her strange accent that became more evident when she was angry.

“Evening Effie,” she responded, giving Haymitch a swift elbow in the side to stop his snickering.

“And you,” she slapped the back of his head as she cross to the seat on his other side. “You did not help the cause by congratulating her on her 'spunk' after she left!” She huffed and sat down. “It's like you enjoy making my life difficult.”

“Nope,” he answered, rubbing his head and side after his double-attack. “Just one of the few perks in my day.”

She slapped the back of his head again.

Katniss suppressed her laughter. She didn't like Effie but she had never seen her so upset as to actually hit someone. She couldn't imagine the petite woman could pack much power into a slap but the way Haymitch flinched when she moved her hands made her question that assumption. It wasn't until Haymitch turned to glare at her that she remembered what she was supposed to do. “Effie,” she called, leaning over the bar. “I'm sorry for this morning.”

The other woman eyed her cautiously. “You'll have an excellent opportunity to make that clear to everyone when you announce your,” she glanced at Haymitch who affirmed he told Katniss the deal, “solo act.”

Katniss nodded slowly, the grimace returning to her face. “Yes, that would be just perfect.” She didn't bother to hide the sarcasm in her voice, which Effie ignored.

“Excellent. The agency has lined up some promising writers and production teams for you to meet with in the morning.”

“The morning? As in tomorrow?” Katniss asked. “Wow, Snow clearly doesn't want to waste anytime, does he?” 

Haymitch threw her a look that simply told her to shut her mouth.

Effie pursed her lips. “I'm sure he doesn't want to lose any of _District 12_ 's momentum. Haymitch,” she turned her attention away from Katniss. “I'd like a table for dinner tonight. Will you be a dear and request a table for four?” He started to protest until she placed her hand on his forearm. He sighed and meandered over to the host stand, starting up a lively conversation with the man.

“I didn't want to hear his reaction to what I'm about to tell you,” she explained to Katniss, who was clearly confused as to why Effie sent Haymitch away. Confused and annoyed that she'd have to deal with this insufferable woman on her own. 

“What could possibly upset him but not me?”

“I didn't say it wouldn't upset you. I know full well it will. But I can only deal with one temper at a time. And since it directly involves you,” she added pointedly, “I saw it only fair to tell you first.”

“I appreciate that,” Katniss spat out.

“And I'll appreciate you watching your tone with me. I'm as much on your team as Haymitch is.” Katniss snorted at this and Effie narrowed her eyes. “We don't like each other but we both are fond of him. And, believe me, this is as about him as it is you.”

Katniss stared the other woman down, not sure if she fully believed that Effie was concerned for her, rather than the company's, best interests.

“I'd like you to start dating someone. Someone you already know, if applicable.”

Effie's request threw her off. The anger that was building was beginning to boil over again. “I don't date,” she snapped.

“You didn't date,” the older woman corrected her. “At least not publicly. But that's not Snow's vision for you anymore. A public relationship will help you appeal to your audience. It'll make people like you.”

“Haymitch always said I have the appeal of a slug,” Katniss told her. “Why does Snow believe that'll change?”

“Because you won't be doing it on your own. You'll have a prep team to help you look your best at all times. Haymitch will stay on as your manager, of course. And you'll have me as your PR rep. Add that to some much needed time away from Mr. Hawthorne and we may be able to convince everyone that your outburst about his potential divorce was more about the end of two people in love and not about being caught with your hand in the proverbial cookie jar.”

Katniss felt her jaw drop slightly at the end of Effie's speech. 

“I take it you haven't seen any footage from the press conference?” The woman asked, slightly confused.

Katniss shook her head, unable to form words.

“Let's just say that any preexisting suspicions were confirmed. And what you need to do is convince everyone the opposite. You need to convince Snow, most of all. If you can't figure out a way to do that, he'll use it against you. And you don't want to know what he's capable of doing.”

She recognized the warning, it was similar to the one Haymitch had given her on the same subject. Make Snow happy or suffer the consequences. She wondered if she wouldn't be the only one punished – maybe he'd go after Gale. Or Leevy. She didn't particularly like Gale's wife but didn't want anything to happen to her either. She didn't have any other loved ones except her sister. But she was safe on the other side of the country, sheltered by anonymity.

“So I convince the world that I'm in love with love. Won't a public romance just look like I'm over-compensating or something?”

Effie smiled slyly. “I'm glad you asked. I have a secret weapon that may just do the trick. He were originally brought in for Gale, since we didn't find out about your situation until today, but the paperwork was 'misfiled' and wound up in your pile.” 

Haymitch made his way back over to the women and pointed to a table in the corner that was being prepared by the staff. It was well hidden from the lobby and he was assured it would be the best place for people of their status to have a quiet, peaceful dinner. “Some kid's looking for you,” he reported, staring intently at Effie, who stared back, a smile still playing on her lips.

All three sets of eyes then turned toward the maitre-d' where a young man stood, nervously running his hand through his blond hair. “Ah, and there he is now! Peeta!” She stood, calling to him. When he looked over at them, Katniss felt a chill run through her. Piercing blue eyes that looked eerily familiar, as if out of a dream or memory, latched onto hers. It felt as though he was moving in slow motion, though she was sure that was just her imagination. When he reached them, he flashed a nervous smile that was as bright as anything she had ever seen.

“Peeta, I'm Effie Trinket. I believe one of my associates spoke with your boss yesterday.” She held her hand out and he took it, though his eyes stayed focused on Katniss'. “And this is Haymitch Abernathy,” she continued, putting her hand gently on Hatmitch's shoulder. “I believe you two may have already met.”

“Only for a moment,” he answered quietly, finally pulling his eyes off of hers, turning them towards Haymitch. “It's a real honor to meet you. You're something of a legend in my family.” His voice may have been soft, but Katniss heard a confidence in it that she wasn't expecting. Especially for talking to someone who he apparently admired greatly.

Haymitch looked the boy up and down and snorted. “I wouldn't announce that in public, boy,” and nodded his head toward the table that was not set up. “Let's sit.”

Effie clucked after him. “He's drunk,” Katniss explained, watching him stumble through the tables. 

“From what I hear he's always drunk,” Peeta answered.

She laughed softly and looked back to him. “More often than not,” she admitted. “So you're the secret weapon?”

“Is that what she called me?” he asked, with a hint of humility. “No pressure, I suppose.”

She wanted to tell him that he couldn't begin to understand the pressure he'd be under. That both of them were under to succeed. But he couldn't possibly understand. He saw this as a job – a way to break into the industry, obviously, not as a way to protect her or anyone else. 

She should be repulsed by him and his schmoozing, calling Haymitch a legend and pretending to be humbled by his nickname. Instead, she realized she didn't know how she felt about him. His pure physical attractiveness was obvious, she couldn't help but notice the craned necks and hidden glances from the other women in the bar. But she had met plenty of attractive people, hell Finnick was more attractive than this guy. Yet Finnick had never made her stomach twist like this. She had just met Peeta and already she felt something more intense than anything she had ever felt, even more than Gale. Gale. She had just been dumped. Anything she was feeling was a consequence of that. Rebound feelings. Combine that with the arousal that came with the realization that she would have to make herself the center of attention and totally change her personality to do so and it was no wonder why Peeta was having this effect on her. “We should probably go over there since they're going to be talking about us.” 

He held his hand out to help her off her stool. She considered taking it, having never really been exposed to chivalry, even if it wasn't authentic. Instead, she hopped off on her own and started walking toward the other two. She glanced over her shoulder at Peeta and had to quickly look away. He was watching her, his eyes on her, with a boyish smile that made her feel like she was a teenager again. 'Damn it,' she thought.

Dinner passed uneventfully. Haymitch and Effie were already seated next to each other when Katniss and Peeta arrived, so Katniss took the spot next to Haymitch, resolving that she was less upset with him than with Effie. She found it difficult to pay attention to most of what the 'adults' were talking about because even though those intense blue eyes were focused on Effie, they were hypnotic from the side.

“Katniss?”

She shook her head and realized that the three of them were looking at her, waiting for a response. “Huh?”

“What do you think about the idea?” Haymitch asked.

She shifted her gaze between the three of them, biting her lower lip as she tried to remember something about what they had just been talking about. 'Damn him,' she thought. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Peeta's hand gently tap her fork off the table. They both reached down to grab it.

“They want to know how you feel about doing a few months of photo-ops and interviews. They think it'll be a good way to prep you for when your debut,” he whispered.

“What do you think?” She didn't know why she bothered to ask him, but since they'd be working together she told herself it was as much a decision as hers. Or at least he deserved some input.

“I think it can't hurt. It'd give me some time to get to know you and write some stuff that feels more natural for you. Make you more of an individual and less like a piece in their game.”

She tightened her hold on the fork and popped back up. “I think it sounds fine. It'll give me some time to get used to the new me. Then Peeta and I can get to know each other. Make it more authentic.”

Haymitch let out a small sigh of relief and sat back in his chair. Effie clapped her hands and began writing furiously on a napkin. “Excellent. It's best if we get started right away with you, we have so much work to do. Peeta, you'll need to come down to the office tomorrow to sign your contract papers and meet with the production team. And, Katniss, I'll let your prep team know they can get started in the morning.”

“Lovely,” Peeta and Katniss both said at the same time.

Haymitch let out a snicker and stood abruptly from the table. “If that's all, I'm going back to my room.” He grabbed his glass and started stumbling out.

Effie groaned. “That,” she said, nodding toward the drunk, “is an PR nightmare. I'll go make sure he doesn't say or do anything I'll have to clean up in the morning. I'll have cars sent for both of you in the morning.” With that, she chased after Haymitch, her heels clicking against the marble floor.

“So.” Katniss started, not really sure what to say to him right now. Or if she was supposed to say anything to him. Or what she was supposed to do herself.

“You want to get out of here?” he asked suddenly. “I hate these kind of places, they feel so stuffy.”

“I don't think I'm allowed out,” she answered, eyes turned to the swarm of reporters lined up outside the hotel doors. 

“These places have back doors, you know.”

“Anywhere we'd go people would figure it out.” She countered. The anger and intrigue were battling one another. The anger had been around a lot longer and was a lot stronger than she imagined.

“I know some places.”

“I'm really not in the mood to be harassed by paparazzi tonight. I'll get enough of that for the next two years. At least.”

He thought this over for a minute. “Come on, Katniss. Tonight's kind of like your last day of freedom for a while. Those reporters have three other people to focus their attention on. After you announce your solo album it'll just be you.”

“You're an idiot if you think they're going to go after the others tonight. I'm the one who walked out of a press conference.” She was frustrated that he didn't understand. This wasn't a game for her, it was her life. Which, ironically, had become somewhat of a game lately that she was being forced to play. With no clear rules or instructions.

“Then think of it as your last hurray or something.”

“What were you dropped on your head as a child or something?” She snapped. “I don't want to go anywhere.”

“Are your moods always this up and down or is tonight a special occasion?” He asked with a sarcastic tone. Here he was, trying to help this woman relax and forget about what was going on in her world and she kept shutting him down.

“You're just one of the lucky ones, I guess,” she answered, confusion filling her brain. What was her problem. Oh yea, Gale. And Snow. And this whole mess.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” He stood and turned to leave. 

She refused to watch him go, her anger not yet having subsided. She heard a soft cough behind her and as she turned, there was his hand again, outstretched, waiting for hers. “What?” she asked.

“If you can't go out and have fun, then I guess we'll have to celebrate in the hotel.”

Katniss stared at his hand, then up at his eyes that weren't masking anything. It unnerved her. Had she been wrong to distrust him earlier? She couldn't keep her head straight around him and she didn't like it. “Are you always this damn stubborn?” She expected him to walk off when she snapped at him. It's what Gale would have done. Always did. 

“I prefer persistent,” he answered with a smile. “And, yes, it's unfortunately one of those Mellark traits that I inherited. I don't back away from things because they're challenging.”

She fought her own smile. Again, rather than taking his hand, she slid off her chair and stood toe to toe with him. Her emotions were on high alert. “Sit at the bar for fifteen minutes. Room 718.” 

She tried not to breathe in his scent, like a freshly baked cookie. And something else she couldn't identify that seemed to send a shock through her body. He nodded and she spun away nearly hitting him in the face with her braid. She decided not to second guess herself on whether or not that was a good decision. He had a point – this was her last day to do what she wanted before her life became totally dictated by someone else. She ignored the nagging voice in her head that told her this action was probably being dictated by what happened today.

She took a deep breath as she prepared herself for the barrage of cameras that stood between her and the sanctuary of her room. She couldn't believe this was going to be her life for the next two years. It was the one thing she liked about being in the band – the attention was diffused among the rest of them. Now it was going to be all about her.

“You can do this,” he whispered in her ear, making her jump. He pressed his hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

She exhaled and walked away from his touch into the crowd. He tried not to stare at her retreating figure for too long, the way she filled out her jeans, the way her braid swung back and forth. More than that, he fought to keep his smile from breaking his face in two. He took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink, keeping a strict eye on the clock behind the bartender. 'Fifteen minutes,' he told himself. 'Fifteen minutes.'

 


	5. Chapter 5 - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Lemon alert* Lemony lemons (My first shot at lemons so...hopefully not horrifically laughable). And some language. Because it's Katniss. And I like to imagine that Katniss swears. So...if either bothers you, you've been warned.

_Katniss narrowed her eyes at the incessant bird that was ruining her peaceful meadow. She considered shooting an arrow through it's throat. It was an odd bird, really. It didn't chirp, rather it sang some digitized tune that._

 

“ _Work it, make it, do it, make us_

_Harder, better, faster, stronger_

_More than, hour, our, never_

_Ever, after, work is, over_

_Work it harder_

_Make it better_

_Do it faster_

_Makes us stronger_

_More than ever_

_Hour after our_

_Work is never over”_

 

She awoke with a jolt as the song played again. The room was lit only by the LED screen of her cell phone. She reached over to the nightstand and hit the 'ignore' button as quickly as she could. Turning the opposite direction, she pulled the blankets over her pounding head. Mornings were hard enough without the constant reminder of how much she drank the night before.

Work it, make it, do it, make us

Harder, better, faster, stronger

More than, hour, our, never

Ever, after, work is, over

She groaned as the song began again. She ripped it off its charging dock and brought it under the blankets with her. “Yes?” she hissed.

“I'm going to let you try that again, Katniss Everdeen, especially since you ignored my call the first time.”

She rolled onto her back, her knees up to create a tent with the sheet. “Yes, Effie?” Her voice was no less rude or demanding.

Effie didn't miss it but rather than fighting she let out an exasperated huff. “Are you still in bed?”

“Duh.”

“Always such a lady, aren't you, Miss Everdeen?” Effie was obviously not in a good mood. This thought made Katniss smile, especially since it was the first time that she may not be completely to blame for it. She really didn't make the other woman's life very easy – she was sassy and difficult and sullen. Not that she cared much.

“Why are you calling, Effie?” Katniss answered, rubbing her eyes.

“The car to take you to your appointment with your prep team will be ready in twenty minutes,” Effie responded matter-of-factually.

Katniss groaned.

“Yes you have to go,” Effie answered her unspoken question. The two women knew one another far too well for either's liking. Guess that's what happens when you have the same fight for two years. “And you cannot be late. You're lucky I was able to get you an appointment today. Cinna is incredibly busy this time of year.”

Katniss pushed the blankets off her face. “Fine,” she grumbled and hit the 'end' button on her phone. She knew she'd get a verbal lashing for, once again, showing her lack of manners but she'd deal with that later. Once this damn hangover had passed. 'What the hell did I drink last night?' she asked herself, stumbling toward the bathroom.

She immediately regretted flipping the switch on in the bathroom. The harsh fluorescent light burned her eyes, but she didn't trust her balance to shower in the dark. She turned the shower on, letting the steam fill the bathroom. She learned early in her drinking life that a scalding hot shower helped clear her head. She reached to her waist, to pull the workout shorts she wore to bed in the summer off, when her fingers brushed her bare hipbones. 'Where the fuck are my clothes? she thought, staring down at her completely naked body. The concern about where her clothes were was replaced by the nagging question of how she made it all the way to the bathroom without realizing she wasn't wearing any. Instead of wondering what she drank, she now was questioning how much she drank. It had been a very long time since she woke up with no memory of what happened the night before – she always did her best to remain as in control as possible.

The shower helped her aching body but did little to quell her nagging mind. As she washed herself, her fingers grazed her right shoulder and she let out a gasp. A small, circular bruise that was slightly purple. Johanna used to joke about how bruises were signs of a good time but those were usually found on arms and legs.

 

_She moaned when he rocked her forward, the bulge in his jeans hitting her in the perfect spot. He pulled his lips away from her, sucking the goose-pimpled skin on her neck. She rolled her head back, exposing her neck, encouraging him with her sighs and rocking hips. As his teeth grazed her shoulder, she let out a surprised “oh!”. His lips stayed put, kissing and sucking the soft skin on her shoulder as she pressed her chest flush against his. She planted kisses along his strong jaw line, to the skin right below his earlobe. A well placed nip received an increase in the pressure on her shoulder. She could never imagine biting as a turn-on but feeling his teeth release their grip left her unsatisfied. She wanted more. No, she needed more._

 

Katniss shook her head. As quickly as the memory came, it disappeared. She finished showering and checked the time. She had ten minutes before the car would be out front to take her to some ridiculous salon where she'd be fussed over for who knows how long. She hated prep work and imagined this time would be worse since they were totally making her over. As she scoured the room to find something to wear, she noticed there weren't any signs of anything happening last night. No bottles, no glasses, nothing. If it weren't for her physical symptoms, she would have thought last night was totally uneventful.

 

_He ripped the tank-top off over her head and threw it behind her. She felt somewhat self-conscious, as she always did when a man stared at her bare chest. But he didn't stare for long. His mouth continued their attack on her lips and neck. His hand easily covered her breast. She let out a quiet noise when his mouth replaced his fingers, his tongue swirling around her erect nipple. His hardening erection press against her and she knew he could feel the dampness between her thighs. When his hand inched closer to the edge of her shorts, she bucked her hips forward. Through her thin panties his fingers brushed against her clit. She felt his breath catch for half a second before he began rubbing against the fabric. She matched his rhythm with her own grinding, the tension inside of her building._

_She fell onto his chest so her lips were at his ear. She gave his lobe a quick suck and he pushed a finger inside her. She bit her lip every time he curled his finger inside her. He pulled his attention from her chest and abruptly stopped his movement._

_She whimpered._

_“Why?” He asked._

_“The walls aren't soundproof,” she echoed Gale's previous words. She wouldn't tell him that she had become accustomed to staying silent. That her forced secrecy with Gale meant she hadn't cried out from the pleasure of someone else touching her in years._

_He cocked an eyebrow and thrust a second finger inside her. Taken off guard, a loud cry escaped her throat before she could stop it. “You deserve to be heard,” he whispered, pumping his fingers faster against her gyrating hips. That tension that was building inside her released as she shuddered, her muscles clamping around his fingers. She cried his name as she rode out her orgasm._

 

No, last night was anything but uneventful. And that voice was so familiar but her head was still so fuzzy that she couldn't place it. Maybe it didn't happen, maybe it was all just a vivid dream. Stress can do that. At least that's what one of her therapists told her during one of her other “stress-induced” breakdowns.

She pulled a pair of jeans and a well-worn t-shirt from her suitcase and tossed them both onto the bed.

 

_Hands fumbled at the elastic band of both of their shorts. Frenzied kisses were planted on lips, necks, jaws, ears, anywhere they could get their lips to contact. He tangled his hands into her hair. Her nails digging into his well-toned back muscles. He backed her up until she hit the bed, breaking contact with him. She crawled back and spread her legs to allow him between her. Lips connected and his fingers pushed into her wetness._

_She groaned into his mouth and bit his lower lip. “More,” she breathed, after releasing his mouth._

_He brushed a strand of hair from her face. It was an odd change of pace and an odd behavior. It was more than lust, more than desire. She leaned up towards him and kissed him. It was an approval kiss, that she was willing and ready._

 

Katniss dressed quickly and slipped on her most comfortable pair of flats. In the lobby, she stopped by the front desk to ask if the car had arrived yet. The young lady behind the desk nodded her head. Katniss spotted the dark town car waiting out front with a sharply dressed, very large, man leaning against the door. There were reporters surrounding the hotel still and she wondered how many of them had just camped out overnight.

“Miss Everdeen?” He asked, his voice was deep and quiet.

“Yes, sir. Sorry to have kept you waiting,” she answered, mostly out of practice than sincerity. She, frankly, wasn't concerned about keeping anyone waiting since they were all on payroll and he was probably her driver for the entire day. Although, he seemed to be doing a fine job of keeping the reporters back. She decided it had to do with his looming size and intimidating demeanor.

It wasn't a long drive to the salon and her driver never once attempted to speak to her, which she welcomed. And missed once she stepped inside the gaudy Beverly Hills salon. It was like being in an entirely different world. The walls were covered with photographs of models wearing outrageous colors and hairstyles that looked straight out of an acid-trip sci-fi movie. She stepped up to the receptionist and gave the girl her name.

“Yes, Miss Everdeen, we've been expecting you. Come with me, I'll take you to the prep room,” she said after having read the computer screen for a few minutes.

“What exactly is this going to entail?” Katniss asked. They walked by a variety of contraptions she had never seen before and others she hoped she'd never have to experience.

“You are in for a real treat,” the girl responded. Katniss noticed that her hair seemed to transition flawlessly from green to blue to purple, and she had a swirling line of piercings peeking out from the top of her shirt. “Flavius, Venia, and Octavius are here to bring you to Beauty Base Zero so Cinna can work his magic on you. You really are a lucky girl.”

Katniss' lip curled in disdain. “Thanks. I guess.”

The girl led her to a room with a large metal tub and a table that reminded her too much of a doctor's office. “You're to change into the robe and have a seat on the table. Oh, and Mr. Abernathy left a note for you.” She handed Katniss a small sheet of paper folded in half. “Congratulations, Miss Everdeen. Enjoy yourself here.”

As the receptionist left the room Katniss held the 'robe' up awkwardly. Where she came from a robe actually covered things. This was a sheet of thin blue paper with a neck hole that just hung on her. There was no way in hell she was putting this on. She tossed it back on the table and plopped down on it to read Haymitch's note.

_Do. Not. Complain._

She snorted and stuffed the note in her pocket. Rolling her eyes, she quickly undressed and covered herself with the paper. She felt so incredibly vulnerable and hated it.

 

_She closed her eyes as she felt him position himself at her core._

_“Katniss. Open your eyes,” he instructed. “Look at me.”_

 

The prep team was more ridiculous than she could have imagined. From their pumpkin orange hair to their facial tattoos to what appeared to be dyed skin. 'Who in their right mind dyes their skin?' They clucked over her, pulling her face one direction, her hands another, and her legs straight out in front of her.

“Oh my!” One exclaimed. “When was the last time you waxed your legs?”

“I don't,” she grumbled back. She always wore jeans so there was never a need. And a razor worked just fine for her, thank you very much. “But I just shaved two days ago.”

The woman with the facial tattoos scoffed and dropped her legs like they were diseased. She put a large pot on a warming plate.

The orange hair man pulled on Katniss' braid and ran his fingers across the end. “You have so many split ends. How is this even possible?”

Katniss scowled. She nearly told him off until she remembered Haymitch's advice. Instead, she closed her eyes and let out a surrender sigh.

“At least she doesn't bite her nails.” The plump, pea-green skinned woman said, giving Katniss as sympathetic of a smile as she could muster. She squeezed her hand gently before pulling a stool over to begin filing them down. “You'll want to find a way to distract yourself, dear,” she whispered.

“What do you – HOLY HELL!” She cried out as the first strip of wax was pulled from her shin.

The green woman tried to hide her smirk and shook her head. “Told you. It won't get better.”

Katniss scowled at the waxing woman who didn't appear to notice that she was in pain. The green woman was right, each subsequent wax strip hurt more as they overlapped on already burning skin.

“Alright, your legs are done!” The waxing woman chirped.

Katniss let out a sigh of relief which made the green woman chuckle. She had moved to Katniss' left hand. “You're not done.”

“Miss Everdeen, please remove your robe.”

“What?” Her eyes widened. “What for?”

The wax woman looked between the other two prep team members in disbelief. “For...your hair removal.”

“You've already removed my hair,” Katniss snapped.

“From your legs, yes. But judging how that situation went I can only imagine what the rest of you looks like.”

Her eyes narrowed at the woman who either didn’t notice or didn’t care that Katniss wanted nothing to do with any more hair removal. Either way, she lost the battle as the waxing woman began applying hot wax over her body. Though she agreed not to complain, she made sure to yell as many offensive things as she could at the top of her lungs as hair was ripped out from her eyebrows, arms, underarms, stomach, and face. When she admitted she didn't realize she had enough hair on her face to wax off, the orange-haired man guffawed loudly.

“I'll look like a twelve year old!” she objected when the woman attempted to drip wax on her most private of areas.

“Don't be ridiculous. We'll leave something.” She laughed but Katniss didn't understand what was so damn funny about this situation.

Katniss sneered. She took care of her lady parts just fine. She continued her slew of profanities throughout the entire process.

“My goodness, girl. Calm down, waxing is done.” The tattooed woman replaced the bowl on the warming plate and exited the room, muttering “good luck” on the way out.

The green-skinned woman led Katniss to the metallic tub that had been filled with a strange pink substance. “This will help your skin. For your face,” she handed Katniss mask that looked to be filled with the same strange goo. “We'll be back in a little bit once it has taken effect.”

Katniss let out a sigh of relief as she sunk into the liquid and found the woman was correct. Almost instantly her raw skin cooled. She slipped the mask on and felt a similar rush of healing on her aching face. She closed her eyes to allow the feeling to overtake her body. Someone began working on her hair, washing it, pouring foul smelling odors into it, then running their fingers through it to detangle and style it.

 

_“I just don't understand how you didn't know she was a hooker! She was_ _ clearly _ _a hooker!” He exclaimed at the end of her latest story._

_“We just wanted to make Finn's birthday a good one since he was stuck with us on a tour bus rather than at home!”_

_“So you got him a hooker?”_

_“I thought she was a stripper!” She cried, flailing her arms out to emphasis her point. She let out a high-pitched squeal as she spilled some of her drink on her chest. “Oh shit.”_

_They both stared at the spot for half a second before she burst out in a fit of giggles, something she only did when heavily intoxicated. She set the glass on the table and laid down on the couch, attempting to catch her breath. She realized, as soon as her head landed in his lap, that she should have laid the opposite direction. But as she went to sit up, she felt him run his fingers through her head, against her scalp._

_She focused on the feeling of those hands. She let out a soft moan and his fingers pulled away. Her face flushed and she covered it quickly with her hands._

_He pulled them off gently and she sheepishly caught his gaze. He watched her with such intensity that she wanted to look away. But something compelled her to maintain eye contact._

_“Sorry,” she said, though the word was barely audible. She cleared her throat, “It just felt really-”_

_She was cut off when he bent down and kissed her. It was a simple kiss, but it ignited a fire she couldn't have predicted._

_“I shouldn't have done that. That was really stupid. I just, you're so beautiful and you're sitting here and...I think I'm just really drunk. I'm sorry.” His voice was low and he averted his eyes._

_She sat up and examined him. “Just, shut up,” she instructed. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she leaned forward and kissed him. He stiffened at first but then wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, deepening their kiss. She opened her mouth slightly, an invitation for his tongue to slip in. Her hands were tangled in his hair, wanting him as close as he could get. He pulled her into his lap, running his hands up and down the back of her shirt, each run pulling up the bottom a little more._

 

“Miss Everdeen?” Katniss snapped her eyes open and saw the friendly smile of the green-skinned woman kneeling before her. “Let’s get you out of there.” She helped Katniss out of the tub and held out an actual robe.

Katniss rubbed the fabric between her fingers. It was plush and soft and seemed to mold against her touch. “This is amazing,” she gasped, “so much better than the robes at my hotel.”

The woman smiled and tied the belt around her waist. “Cinna created it. You’re a lucky girl.” She then helped Katniss climb back on the table to sit. They heard a knock at the door and the woman nodded, as though listening to some silent command. Without another word, she exited out a back door and left Katniss alone in the prep room.

The door she originally entered slid open and a slender man walked through. “Katniss Everdeen.” He smiled and held his hand out to her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Cinna.”

Judging by the design of his salon and attire of employees, Katniss had a totally different image of this man. But he was dressed in all black and kept his brown, curly hair short. The only distinguishable thing about him was the thin strip of gold eye shadow.

“I’m sorry we had to meet under these circumstances,” he continued, pulling a chair next to the table where she sat.

“Funny, everyone’s been congratulating me,” she snorted.

He watched her closely. “I meant because the band broke up. I always hoped to have _District 12_ play one of my shows. I never thought I'd be designing clothes for one of them.”

“Sorry to disappoint you.”

“Not a disappointment. I see it as an improvement. Are you hungry? Want anything to drink?”

She was taken aback. ‘An improvement? How was she an improvement over the band?’ She shook her head slowly. “No, I’m alright.”

“Fill me in a little about your situation.”

 

“ _So, um, tell me about yourself.”_

 

“You don’t already know? I was under the impression Effie or Haymitch already talked to you.”

 

_She snorted. “What_ _ about _ _me? My life's been covered since my dad...for a long time. I'm sure you know more about it than I do.”_

 

“They did,” he nodded. “But I want to hear about it from you. How do you feel about it? Snow wants you to have a certain image but every ‘love-sick girl’ is different. I want to keep you as real as possible.”

 

“ _I know what's been reported about you. But we both know most of what gets published is only about making money, not telling the truth.”_

_Katniss looked at him suspiciously. “What if I don't want to tell you my truth?”_

_He chuckled. “We'll ease into it. I'll ask you about something I've heard about you and you can just tell me if it's real or not real.”_

_“That's it?”_

_“That's it,” he confirmed. “Though if you want to tell me more, you can. It's totally up to you.”_

 

“Why do you care so much about this?”

“To help you.”

 

_“Why do you care so much about this?”_

_He shrugged. “I want to help you,” he answered, simply._

 

“You’re here to make me pretty?”

“I’m here to help you make an impression.” He smiled at her and she suddenly felt as though she had known Cinna all her life. She added him to her mental list of people that she trusted were on her team. “Let’s get to work.”

 

* * *

 

“I don’t have to wear dresses and skirts every day, correct?” Katniss confirmed as Cinna smoothed down the edge of her skirt.

“You should wear them more often. But you can wear jeans if they fit and flatter your figure.”

“What was wrong with the jeans I had on this morning?”

He tilted his head and scrunched his nose. “I’m not getting into that discussion with you again. I’ve given you about a month’s worth of clothes. Try, try, try to be seen in public wearing them. Re-branding works best if people can see it happening.”

She snorted. “What? Should I hire someone to follow me around with a camera for proof that I'm capable of being in love with someone who isn't married?” She let out a sigh and her face fell. “Cinna, I don't know if I can do this. What if I fail?”

He put his hands on her shoulders and pressed his head against hers. “You're a lot stronger than you let yourself believe and I've only known you for a few hours. If I were a betting man, I'd go all in on you.” He kissed her forehead and opened the car door for her. “Effie told me that you have your first big interview tomorrow night. I'll be at the studio to help you get ready and bring your dress. You're going to set the world on fire, Katniss Everdeen.”

 

* * *

 

By the time she got back to her hotel suite, the crowd around the hotel had lessened. She assumed Finnick and Johanna had already moved back into their actual homes. She could too, she supposed. But the apartment she had in California was one she picked out with Gale. In her mind, it was as much 'their' place as it was 'hers'. And it was too full of memories. At least for now.

“Would you like me to pull around to the back?” her driver asked.

That was exactly what she wanted. At least, that's what the old Katniss would have wanted. But she was no longer the old Katniss. Now was was the Katniss who cooperated with the press and put on a pretty smile. With a heavy sigh she told told him no. “But if you don't mind waiting, I'll send a bellhop out to collect my packages.” He nodded and pulled up to the curb in front of the hotel. As she stepped out, the cameras pointed toward her.

She plastered on the brightest smile she could and even waved at a few. She quickly ducked inside and scowled all the way up to her room just to make up for the ordeal. As she opened the door, she spied a small box on her coffee table. She sat on the couch and opened it up. Inside was a single cupcake with a perfect replica of her Fender Precision Bass on top.

 

 

_“Somehow it's hard to imagine you being all domesticated like that.” She snorted._

_“Domesticated? Hey, baking is a very masculine endeavor,” he feigned hurt. “It probably doesn't help my case if I tell you that my specialty was frosting cakes and pastries though, does it?”_

_She stared at him and shook her head, not hiding her smile. “I've never really had much of a sweet tooth but there was this one place, actually in Chicago, that I could never resist when we were in town. Um...Sweet Cakes Bakery. Just thinking about it makes me crave a cupcake.”_

_He laughed. “You're kidding me, right? Sweet Cakes is the only place you'd eat?”_

_“Yea. What's wrong with Sweet Cakes?”_

_“That's the bakery I worked at during school.”_

_She slapped his arm playfully. “No it's not. Seriously? Oh, man, I remember when I was with my dad and I finally got to go explore without him. As a semi-sheltered sixteen year old, that was one of the highlights of the trip. We walked by that place and I swear I started drooling instantly. After that I made Darius, one of the bodyguards, walk me past it every day.” She laughed. “He made the mistake of buying me something that first time and I was hooked.”_

_“I remember seeing you once,” he admitted quietly. “I, uh, I got so distracted by you that I burned some of our more expensive bread. I thought I was fired for sure.”_

 

She groaned in frustration. Now that she was alone, her memories of last night were coming back again but still in chunks. Confusing, fuzzy chunks that implied what she may have done but not with who. It was like her mind was giving her clues and she was supposed to figure it out. Only she hated puzzles as a child so why would she be any good at them now. Sheflipped the television on, hoping for something to entertain her. As she repeated channels for the third time, she was about to give u p when something caught her eye. Some show about where famous chefs like to eat sweets.

“Sweet Cakes in Chicago, IL has the absolute best pastries ever. Ever. Ever, ever, ever!” An excited man screamed into the camera.

Sweet Cakes. In Chicago.

 

_“You're from Chicago?” Katniss asked, cracking open two bottles of the beer that were sent up from the bar. She handed him one and sat on the couch next to him._

_He took a drink. “No, just went to school out there. I'm from Ohio, originally.”_

_“And what brought you out to lovely California? Besides the weather and fabulous women, obviously.”_

_He chuckled. “Yes, well, that is a slight improvement, I'll give you that.” He was silent for a moment. “One of my degrees is in creative writing but 'pretty words don't pay the bills.'” He shook his head in a mocking fashion though she didn't know who he was impersonating. “So after graduation, Delly and I moved even further from home, took the first job we found and haven't been back since,” he finished._

_She bit the inside of her cheek as she considered asking the question floating in her brain. 'Who the fuck was Delly?' Not his wife, at least, he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. Maybe his fiance or girlfriend. It wouldn't have been impossible to believe that he had someone. 'But he did invite himself up to your room,' she reminded herself. Until the opposing voice piped up. 'No, he suggested that we get to know each other so he can write songs. You're the one who gave him your room number and ordered this much alcohol. And changed into your pajamas.' Images of her first encounter with Gale flashed before her eyes. Just as she was getting out that kind of situation, was she really willing to do it again._

_Her silence did not go unnoticed. “Delly's just a friend. My best friend, actually. We grew up next door to each other, went to college together, really did everything together. She even worked in a bakery during college with me even though she was notorious for setting things on fire.” He watched her visibly relax._

 

Creative writing. Chicago. Bakery. A mix of cookie and something indescribable. Words that could move mountains. Lips pressed against hers.

 

_“Katniss. Open your eyes,” he instructed. “Look at me.”_

 

Long, blonde eyelashes over blue. Blue. Blue eyes. She gasped loudly. Her hands covered her mouth in shock. “Peeta.”

 

_“Look at me.”_

_She forced her eyes open and saw his staring into hers. His seemed so genuine._

_She swore her heart was planning on jumping out of her chest. He leaned down and kissed her. As he did, she felt him slip inside her. She let out a soft moan that was lost in his mouth. He paused, to give her time to adjust. She wrapped her legs around his hips and urged him deeper. He crashed into her, letting her legs dictate his speed. She had never felt so full and yet unsatisfied at the same time. She craved more contact, every thrust increasing her desire._

_He reached between them and began rubbing at her bundle of nerves. She gripped his forearms as her breathing labored. She was moving closer and closer to the edge. She ordered her eyes to stay focused on him. They flitted from his eyes, deep in concentration, to his cheeks to his lips. He was biting his bottom lip as animalistic groans escaped his lips._

_She raised her legs so they sat higher against his hips. A few quick thrusts at this angle and she was crying out as her orgasm washed over her. He stopped as her back arched clear off the bed and waited for her to come back down. Once she caught her breath, he shifted her legs so one rested on his shoulder. He ran a hand up and down her exposed leg and planted a kiss on her ankle._

_“Ready?”_

_She moaned and pushed her hips towards him. He smirked and slammed into her, elicited a cry. Her eyes were fierce, his flashed. Lust was thick, threatening to choke them both. The sounds of skin connecting filled the air, mixing with grunts and pants and broken phrases; “fuck” “yes” and “more” the only discernible words. Already sensitive from one orgasm, she found her next orgasm built and overtook her more quickly than she expected. His pace increased as her muscles clenched tightly around him._

_“Katniss,” he breathed, his voice hoarse. He pulled out of her and she crawled to him, taking him in her mouth. It was only a few thrusts before his hot liquid shot into her mouth. She swallowed it quickly. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. She breathed in his musky post-sex smell and listened to him recover. He kissed her forehead chastely and smiled. “That was...”_

_“Don't be that guy,” she answered, with a chuckle. “But, yes. Yes it was.”_

_They laid on the bed facing one another as sweat glistened off their bodies. She ran a finger across his chest, down his muscular stomach, to the well-defined v that led down to his...she pulled away, suddenly embarrassed. He laughed. “How are you still so pure?”_

_“I'm not pure,” she objected._

_“Whatever you say.”_

_She attempted to scowl but a large yawn interfered. He rolled off the bed to get her a glass of water and by the time he came back, her eyes were closed. He placed the water on the nightstand next to the bed and pulled the blankets up around her. He planted a kiss on her temple and she cracked her eyes open. “Peeta?” she whispered. “Are you leaving?”_

_“I probably should,” he answered, fishing his boxers off the floor and slipping them on. “We'd hate for there to be a scene in the morning.”_

_“Fuck a scene,” she mumbled into the pillow. “You can stay if you want.” She pulled the blankets behind her off and awkwardly patted the spot._

_The bed shifted as he laid next to her. He wrapped an arm around her stomach. She set her hand on top of his and curled her back so it mimicked his body shape. She felt his breath against her neck as she drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hokay – so I got the idea of how Katniss remembered the night from my roommate (who this happened to once). She was all excited about it because she was a mystery novel nut.   
> The ring tone is “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” by Daft Punk (though if you don't listen to techno you may recognize it as the hook to Kanye West's “Stronger”). For a special treat, youtube “daft hands”.  
> The show Katniss watched at the end was “Best Thing I Ever Ate.” Sweet Cakes is an actual bakery in Chicago that I enjoy quite a bit.


	6. Chapter 6

"Peter Allan Mellark!"

Peeta winced. His attempt to sneak into his cubicle unnoticed had almost worked. Since his workspace was set in the far, back corner, away from most of the other writers, he figured no one would even think about looking there for anyone or anything. Except Delly, apparently. He set the cardboard box full of his personal belongings on his desk and smiled nervously. "Morning, 'Del."

Delly stood in the entryway looking less than amused. "Don't you dare think you can stand me up in a bar, miss a day of work, try to avoid me when you finally do show up, and make it better with that smile and a 'morning Del.'"

For someone who tended to exude confidence, Peeta suddenly felt two inches tall. "I'm sorry, Delly. It's been a weird couple of days. I, I had that meeting with Heavensbee."

He watched as her eyes shifted to the box, his empty cubicle, then back to him. They welled up. "Oh, no, Peet. People were talking yesterday since you never miss work but I thought there was no way it was you. But it was, wasn't it? You're the one they let go?"

He nodded.

Almost instantaneously, Delly's features hardened. She had always been someone who wore their emotions on their sleeve and whose face was painfully honest even when she wasn't. He had grown accustomed to her bouncing emotions. How she ever worked undercover still confused him, though. "No. That is not acceptable. I have half a mind to walk into his office and turn down that stupid promotion he offered me. Assistant editor," she snorted. "Who'd want to be an assistant editor to that jerk?"

"Delly Loraine Cartwright," he responded, mimicking her use of his full name. "You will do no such thing. It's not that big of a-wait. Assistant editor? When did that happen?"

"It doesn't matter," she stated firmly, "because I'm turning it down. I will not work for someone who is willing to fire you over anyone else. And it's not about the money. I've seen the numbers. The requests for the detailed obits have shot through the roof. Everyone wants you to write about their loved ones; Heavensbee even increased the cost per word and it didn't matter." She crossed her arms and let out a loud huff. He laughed, which caused her to glare at him, which just made him laugh harder.

Peeta was sure she thought she looked defiant or stubborn, but in reality, she looked like a toddler about to throw a temper tantrum. "Before you go and ruin your career will you just calm down and listen to me?"

She uncrossed her arms but her face remained stern.

"I had that meeting. I was let go from the paper." She sighed angrily and he put his hands up to stop her from talking. "Because Boggs highly recommended me for a different job. One that Heavensbee basically accepted on my behalf."

"Boggs? That insane professor from Northwestern? Wait, does that mean you're moving back to Chicago?"

"You know, if this were an interview for an article you'd be doing a terrible job, Miss Cartwright," he joked. "No, I'm not moving back to Chicago. I'm staying here in L.A." Taking a deep breath, he continued, "I'm, apparently, going to be a songwriter."

He watched as she processed the information, as the realization of what he just told her took hold. Her harsh exterior melted away and she broke out into a wide smile, tears once again threatening to fall. "A songwriter? Peet, that's what you've always wanted!" She flung herself at him and he caught her, spinning her around. She let out a shriek mixed with a giggle and held onto his neck with all her strength.

"Well, well, well, look who decided to come back into work. It was quite the scandal, you know, Mr. Perfect skipping out for a day."

At the sound of Cato's voice, Adele quickly released herself from Peter's arms and wiped her eyes. Peter set his jaw and stared at the other man who was now leaning against the entryway, like he was a welcomed guest. "What do you want, Cato?"

"A little of what you're getting. Hey, Del," he winked at her suggestively.

"Gag me," she responded.

"I'd like to."

Delly rolled her eyes at his lewd comment. Peeta stepped forward, blocking her partially from Cato. "Seriously, what do you want?"

Cato smiled. "Oh I'm just waiting for my workers to give me something I can actually write about so I decided to take a stroll over to visit my favorite little journalist. Lucky me I didn't have to walk as far to see her."

"You have standards for your stories now, Cato? Funny because everything I've read out of your department has been filth and unsubstantiated lies," Delly said.

"Normally I'd take offense to that but just knowing you read what comes out of my department is enough for me, sweet thing."

She huffed. "You kind of walked into that," Peeta mumbled under his breath. She pinched his side.

Cato noticed the box on the desk. "Cleaning out your space, huh, Peeta? So the rumors about you being canned were true. Honestly, I'm a little surprised, since I can't imagine anyone actually wanting to write about dead people." One of the interns called his name out frantically and he rolled his eyes. "It's a shame, man, a real shame." He stood himself up straight off the frame. "Well, Del, if you ever find yourself missing ol' Mellark too much, I'd be more than happy to comfort you." He kissed into the air and sauntered off.

"I think I'm going to vomit," Delly stated as soon as he was gone.

Peeta chuckled and turned back to his box. "He only does it to get a rise out of you."

"It's still gross. I mean, who in their right mind would let Cato touch – what is that?!" She grabbed his chin and snapped his head to the side.

"What?" He asked, running his hand up and down his exposed neck. He felt her face move mere inches from his skin, her breath warm. He let out an involuntary shudder at the memory of Katniss sucking on that sensitive spot. Katniss. Sucking. 'Oh crap,' he thought.

"Who did you get a hickey from?" Her voice was lowered, something he was thankful for.

He swatted her hand away. "No one," he answered defensively. In truth, he was embarrassed that he had a hickey and didn't notice it. He wasn't in high school anymore, where hickeys were like badges of honor.

"No one gave you a hickey? What did you give it to yourself? Run into a door with your neck? Burn yourself with a curling iron?" She asked in a mocking tone. "I know a hickey when I see one."

"I'm not having this conversation with you right now."

"Peeeeeeta," she whined. "Come on, my life is a dry spell right now. If someone's getting action I wanna know about it. Who gave you the hickey?"

He shook his head again. "Seriously, Del."

"If you don't tell me, I'll keep asking. And you know that the more persistent I get, the louder I get. Who gave you the hickey?"

He stared her down. When they were kids, she never carried through on her threats against him. But as they got older he learned, the hard way, that she was more than willing to embarrass anyone if it meant she got the information she wanted. It probably explains why she was such a good journalist. "Your blackmail techniques would serve you will with the tabloid section. Maybe you should consider a department change."

She opened her mouth. "Peeta." Her voice was significantly louder than before. "Who. Gave. You. The. Hic-"

He clamped his hand over her mouth. She licked his palm and he removed it, wiping it on his jeans. "You licked my hand? What are you eight again?"

She smiled triumphantly.

"Fine," he sighed. This was one of the times he regretted being so nice to her in kindergarten rather than playing with his other friends. "But you can't tell anyone."

"Promise." She sat down in the seat across from his computer and looked at him expectantly.

He pulled his chair from behind the desk and sat. "Katniss Everdeen."

Her eyes widened so far he was sure they were about to pop out of her head. "Katniss Everdeen? As in the Katniss Everdeen? The Katniss Everdeen who was part of  _District 12_ , only my favorite band ever?"

He nodded.

"How in the world did that happen? I mean, no offense, Peet, you're obviously an attractive, charming, guy but she's famous. That almost never happens with regular people."

"I don't know, Del, I met her last night and we had some drinks and it just…happened." He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed at the back of his neck.

She studied him. "And?"

"And what?"

Her eyes narrowed and he could tell that she had gone into full journalist mode. He shifted in his seat, wondering how many other people she had made so uneasy. "And how was your night with the girl of your dreams?"

He sighed. "It was…" He smiled softly at the memory. "It was amazing. I mean, I never believed that anything like that could happen to me. The whole thing, Del, not just the sex but I get to write lyrics for her. It's a literal dream come true moment."

"You're writing lyrics for her? I didn't realize she was even doing anything solo." She thought for a moment. "Come to think of it, I didn't even know she could sing. I don't think anyone's ever heard her sing."

He frowned. "I'm sure she did on one of their albums."

Delly thought about this, her eyes moving back and forth, fingers tapping in the air. "I don't think so, none of their singles, anyway. But I mean, she is James Everdeen's daughter, so I'm sure at least some of his talent got passed onto her. There's no way it couldn't have." She clapped her hands and smiled. "Let's investigate!"

"Investigate?"

"Why not? It's not like we don't have the available resources: Google and Youtube. God sends for the beginning of a piece."

He sighed and rolled his chair back behind his desk. She picked hers up and pulled it right next to his while he turned on his computer. "This is weird."

"It's helpful. If we find something it'll give you an idea of what you'll be expected to work with." She gasped. "What if she can't sing, Peeta? How horrible would that be?"

He rolled his eyes. "Didn't you just say that she's got some of her father's talent? Pick a side, Delly." He typed her name into Google and groaned. District 12 homepage, District 12 fan pages, nothing he hadn't seen before.

"Hm…" Delly scanned the available websites. "This won't work." She twisted a strand of hair around her finger and tapped her foot against the side of the chair. "It's like she didn't exist for 16 years. Even her Wikipedia page is blank until her dad died."

"She said something about being somewhat sheltered for a long time."

"No one is that sheltered. Not in today's day and age. This is going to be more challenging than I thought." She looked up at him, her blue eyes sparking at the premise of investigating. A born journalist. "Alright, well it says that she's from the L.A. area. We'll start there."

Peeta groaned and pushed away from the computer. Delly immediately scooted over and began typing and clicking furiously. He knew better than to get in her way when she was on a mission. It took less than an hour for her to have her "aha" moment.

"Oh. Her high school records are under a different name. That's why it was so hard to find her." She explained. "She went to Tama High for two years and was a member of multiple choirs. Including the California Champion show choir her sophomore year. Impressive. Oh! There's even a link to that performance." She clicked on the link and a video popped up. Whoever recorded it must have been using a hand-held camcorder because it was unsteady and shifted in and out of focus for the first minute.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is Tama High School Show Choir!" A male voice announced. The theater cheered and a single spotlight appeared. From behind the curtain a small girl with dark hair stepped out into the light. A quiet choir of voices sang a single note. She took a breath and slowly looked up into the audience.

"Life is a mystery. Everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name. And it feels like…home" There had been a rustling of typical audience noise at the beginning but when she opened her mouth, the entire auditorium fell silent.

Then the curtain parted completely, with the rest of the choir appeared. An electric guitar started playing the rest of the song but Peeta didn't hear anyone else except her. Even in the group, her voice floated above the rest. She was flawless on stage and he had never seen anyone look so genuinely happy to be doing anything. At the end of the song, the audience erupted into cheers.

Peeta focused on her; she was smiling bigger than he had ever seen. His crush started that morning in Chicago; he was a goner when she sang those first notes. They watched the rest of the performance before sitting back, both completely exhausted.

"She's amazing," Delly said, clicking out of the video. "Just like her father was."

"She's better."

Delly looked over at him and gave him a sad smile.

He caught it. "What?"

"Be careful, Peet."

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you. You don't fall often but when you do it's pretty intense. Remember Bonnie from high school? You tripped over yourself to please her from the very beginning. And you never had that look on your face when you talked about her." She placed her hand gently on his cheek. "I just don't want you to expect too much from this and get hurt. Especially because I don't think she's the same girl now that she was in that video."

As Peeta walked home a few hours later, he couldn't get Delly's words out of his head. True, he had had a crush on Katniss since he first saw her. And he obviously found her incredibly attractive, given last night's events. But there was more to it than that, he reasoned, something he couldn't explain. Delly said Katniss wasn't the same girl now that he watched perform on that stage but he didn't believe her. He saw that girl last night; she was still there, just well hidden. Katniss, at her current state, was a force, but if there was a way to bring back her former self, she'd be unstoppable. And he knew he'd be willing to do anything it took to help her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....sorry about the delay on here. Story hasn't been abandoned, just not cross-posted yet. I'll work on getting it as up-to-date as possible.
> 
> Next chapter will involve both Katniss and Peeta and is well on it's way (so the wait shouldn't be so long). Read, review, enjoy :)
> 
> My inspiration for the show choir song choice is based on the (guilty pleasure) Glee performance of "Like a Prayer."


	7. Chapter 7

"Is there anything else I can get you, m'am?"

Katniss kept her back turned from the young woman in the doorway of the green room. "No. Thank you." She hated the pushy intern, even though she was only doing her job. She listened for the girl to turn out of the room, presumably going to check on whoever was the other guest and would gladly welcome the extra attention. Sighing, Katniss flopped onto the oversized blue couch in the room and shut her eyes. She'd have at least an hour before she was supposed to begin her interview with Ceasar Flickerman but Haymitch insisted that they arrive early. He claimed it would help calm her down the longer she was in the building but instead increased her anxiety. 'Breathe' she told herself, letting out long slow breaths.

"Be careful not to ruin your hair." A soft voice called.

She snapped her eyes open and beamed at the sight of Cinna, who was kneeling in front of her. "Isn't that why you're here?" She joked.

He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and gave her a once-over. "That style, if you remember, took the better part of two hours. Two hours we don't currently have. So if you mess it up, you're going out like that."

She tapped her index finger against her lips. "Tempting."

He playfully slapped her knee and stood. "None of that, Miss Everdeen. You're wearing one of my creations and I won't have you looking like a rag-a-muffin in it. Speaking of..." He held his hand out to help her up. On the back of the door was a garment bag which held her dress for the night. She was still upset that she'd have to wear a dress but when she voiced this concern to Haymitch, he grunted and told her to stop complaining. "It's part of the plan," was all he said.

"Keep your eyes closed," Cinna said, unzipping the bag. "I want you to see it when it's on." She took off her robe and he helped her step into the outfit. He placed a headband of some sort around her head and clipped in the back, tucking it underneath her hairstyle. "Alright, Katniss."

She opened her eyes and let out a small gasp. The dress was a red, chiffon, vintage-style dress that fit perfectly against her body and gave her curves she never realized she had. The skirt, which flared out to her kneee, transitioned seamlessly from the ruby of the bodice into a rich orange and seemed to have jewels sewn directly into the fabric. On her head was a band that contained similar red and orange jewels that popped out against her dark hair. "Oh, Cinna." She reached up and touched them gingerly. "I look-"

"Beautiful," he finished with a smile. "Simply gorgeous."

"When did you create this?" She asked, twirling slightly to get a glimpse of the back. It had a v-that exposed her shoulder blades but still had a look of innocence about it. The headband shown through her curled up-do, catching any little bit of light and reflecting it back like a halo of flames.

"Oh, I've had the idea for a while. Just never the right muse for it," he answered. "Are you ready for your interview?"

She rolled her eyes. "I hate these things. I hate talking to people. There's a reason no one is ever surprised when I only give the most basic responses to questions. And now I have to go out by myself and gush about...I don't even know what about, but I have to make people like me. Me. Not the band, not Gale, not even the music because I don't have any, but me. I don't think I could be a person that everyone likes."

Cinna chuckled. "Why don't you just act like yourself?"

She glared pointedly at him. "Have you met me? I'm not exactly an appealing person."

"Not particularly," he agreed with a nod. "But there is something about you that engages people. You won me over right away. Among others."

She snorted. "You don't count. You're not like them," she gestured toward the door as if the entire population laid outside. Sighing, she looked herself over in the mirror. Everyone else seemed to think she could pull this off. "Maybe I just need to practice my smile." Cinna laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and laughed at her over-exaggerated facial expressions. It was odd to her how something so simple and silly actually did make her feel better.

"Then just pretend you're talking to me."

It wasn't long before a knock at the door signaled it was time for her to prepare for her interview. Haymitch eyed her up and down and let out a long whistle. "Nice dress."

"Perv."

"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart. You're not my type."

"Why? Because I can't be found at the bottom of a bottle?"

"Nah," he drawled. "Too...scowly. I like women who actually know how to smile."

She glared at him. "So you know how to get to wherever we're supposed to be going?"

"You think this is my first rodeo? Come on." He started walking down the hall, leaving her in the dressing room. "You're going to get lost if you don't hurry up."

By the time she caught up to him, she could hear the end of Caesar Flickerman's interview. Caesar was the most popular late-night host in the country – a spot on his show was hard to come by but almost everything promoted by Caesar was an instant success. Which probably explained why his show was filmed once a month. It was quite a opportunity, which Haymitch warned her not to blow. "No pressure or anything, sweetheart," he said, taking a swig from a flask he pulled from his jacket pocket.

She peered through the curtain at the audience. Full house, like always. She heard them laugh at something Ceasar said. That was why he was so popular, his ability to make everyone shine in their own way. He had this air about him that seemed to put even the most nervous at ease. She prayed that he'd be able to help her because by the time she heard him tease the audience about who his next guest was, she could no longer see straight.

"Our next guest, ladies and gentlemen, is a special young lady who you may have seen recently. That is, if you own a television set, because she's been all over it!" The audience laughs along. "Now we've been trying for years to get her on this stage and after countless calls and some pretty embarrassing grovelling on the part of yours truly, we finally get the chance to sit down, one-on-one with her. So stay put, you at home, while we do a little business." The audience roared their applause for a few moments while Caesar turned to talk to his former guest.

"Now, Katniss, when you go out there, make sure to shake his hand. And smile."

"And be charming."

"Answer his questions as honestly as possible."

"But remember what image we're going for."

"You'll do great, really you will."

"I mean, unless you say something stupid. Which is a distinct possibility"

"Haymitch!" Effie and Cinna both snapped at him. Katniss didn't need to see them to know that he just shrugged them off.

She didn't hear the audience begin cheering again. She didn't even realize Caesar had given an exaggerated introduction of her until she felt pressure against her back. "That's your cue, sweetheart." She almost tripped onto the stage but recovered quickly enough to throw her signature glare at Haymitch.

She took a breath and plastered on her best smile as she crossed the stage to where Caesar was waiting for her with open arms. She allowed him to embrace her and kiss her cheek. She shook hands with the last guest who stayed onstage, not wanting to miss her "exclusive" interview. When they both settled into their respected seats, Caesar put his hands up to shush the audience. Had they been cheering? Somehow the only sound she registered was her own heartbeat thumping in her ears. Caesar was watching her expectantly and she flushed. "What?"

The audience chuckled. 'Ah,' she thought, 'there they are.' Caesar patted her arm. "You're not nervous are you, Katniss? We're all friends here." He turned to the audience. "Aren't we?" They clapped their assurance that they were, indeed, friends of Katniss. She fought with all her might not to roll her eyes. She settled for snickering at Haymitch doing it for her. "I just asked how you've been."

She looked at him, with his metallic blue suit that seemed to shimmer in the bright studio lights and his skin so tight from cosmetic surgery and her mouth went dry. Over his shoulder, she saw Cinna step out from behind Haymitch. He raised an eyebrow and shot her a smirk. J _ust pretend you're talking to me_. She forced herself to imagine Cinna's familiar face onto Caesar's and relaxed. "I've been good...just trying to get used to not being on a cramped tour bus for fourteen hours a day." She gave a small laugh. 'See Haymitch, I can be likable.'

"Fourteen hours?" Caesar asked in shock. "What did you do to pass the time?"

If she were being honest, she'd tell him about how Gale would whisper what he wanted to do with her that night for most of the hours, working her up to the point where she'd jump him as soon as everyone else went to sleep. Honesty wasn't really the name of the game here, though. "Oh, you know, when you're with people you like being around, time flies pretty quickly."

"So, it wasn't as bad as it sounds?" The audience laughed.

So did she. "No, not at all. It was definitely part of the experience. A good part," she added quickly.

"Other than the bus, apparently," he said with a wink, "what is the best part of touring?"

"The food," she admitted, placing her hand on her stomach. "I don't know how I didn't explode every night."

"You don't get that often, celebrities admitting how much they like to eat."

"I'm not a very good celebrity, am I?" She joked. "No, I love food. I always have. We were in Ireland, I think, and had this lamb stew." She closed her eyes.

"Lamb stew, huh?"

"It was...indescribable. I'll have to take you some time."

"You be careful what you promise, Miss Everdeen," Caesar joked. "So we've established that you like small, cramped spaces and food."

"Yes. A lot."

"A lot," he repeated with a smile. "But you'd never be able to tell. You look absolutely beautiful. Doesn't she?" He addressed the audience who loudly agreed.

She beamed at Cinna. "Thank you. Cinna, the designer, is brilliant. This may very well be the most gorgeous thing I've ever worn," she answered, smoothing the skirt with her hands. "It looks even better when it moves." She stood and gave a small twirl, causing Caesar, and the audience to 'ooh' and 'ahh'.

"It really is. You're probably going to give me grief for this, but that little twirl really makes you look like you're on fire. With the jewels and beads. It literally looked like flames!"

She smiled brightly, proud that Cinna's work was getting this kind of positive exposure. "That's definitely one of the perks of being back home, though, getting to wear these amazing clothes for a fantastic up and coming designer."

"Speaking of," his voice changed, the entire mood of the interview seemed to take a turn that she had been dreading. "I know you've been home for a while. A few months now, right?"

She nodded. Had it been that long.

"And so much has happened since you've been home. Just in the last few days, really."

Another nod. She knew this was coming. It was probably the only way Caesar agreed to put her on the show. Didn't mean she was ready. Or okay with the whole thing. In fact, she was very much the opposite.

"We were all very moved, I think, during that press conference a couple days ago. Can you tell us a little bit about what was going on in your mind during all of that."

"How much time do we have?" She asked, eliciting light laughter from the studio. "To be honest, Caesar, I wouldn't even know where to begin with that question."

He patted her arm affectionately, wordlessly urging her to continue.

"It was really difficult to get my head around everything that was happening because we were – are – such good friends and we love being around each other, so the notion that that wasn't going to happen anymore was really devastating. But, more than that, it was the questioning of their morals and personal lives that really got to me. I care about them all so much that attacks on them felt like attacks on me. If that makes any sense."

Caesar nodded. "Your affection for them was obvious. Especially Mr. Hawthorne and his alleged infidelity. Any thoughts on that?"

Katniss bit her bottom lip as she formatted her thoughts. "I've been lucky to know Gale for years. I attended his wedding." She paused. That entire day was particularly difficult for her – it was the first time she had ever actually seen Leevy in person. Until then, she was just a name, someone she could pretend didn't exist when Katniss was with Gale. She didn't want to go but Gale begged her – said he wanted her to be a part of his wedding – and she couldn't refuse him. Sometime during the reception they snuck off to have a few moments to themselves. He apologized as she fought back the tears. She kept asking why he went through with it when the night before he ridiculously suggested that the two of them run off and live in the woods. "I know how he feels about her," she choked out, turning her eyes down to hide her pain. There was probably more she should have said, but as she thought about Gale and his wife, the harder it became to talk about it.

"I think it's clear how much you care about him," Caesar said.

She regained her composure and smiled sweetly at him. "I care about all of them. That's why this," she gestured with her hands, "is so difficult, really. But, ultimately, it'll be for the best. We can each use this time to explore interests that we may not have had time to explore before."

"I'm glad you brought that up, Katniss." He addressed the audience. "We're going to take a short break but when we come back, we'll find out what's next for Miss Everdeen. So everyone, stay tuned, you won't want to miss this!" He smiled his toothy smile as the audience began clapping.

When the red light of the camera shut off, a host of people flocked to Caear, wiping his face, adjusting his makeup, handing him note-cards for the next segment. They pay little attention to Katniss. She peered around everyone on stage and caught a glimpse of Haymitch's eye. He gave her a half smile and thumbs up. She had done fine. The hardest part was over.

"Did you really go to his wedding?" A soft voice asked.

She whipped her head back to where the gentleman next to her was sitting. She had forgotten about him once the interview started but now felt as though he had been eavesdropping on her personal conversation. Which was ridiculous, of course, because she had just been on camera on the most popular show in the country. Everyone was listening, not just him. "Yes." She answered shortly.

"That must have been rough." The shock she felt must have registered on her face because he smiled and squeezed her hand. He leaned in. "You deserve better, you know." She couldn't wipe the look of disbelief off, even when he continued, "The camera's about to come back on. Better put your face back together." He gave her a wink and turned back into his seat.

The staff cleared off the set as Caesar glanced at his note cards. Katniss sat back into her seat and cleared her mind. The rest of the interview was a bit of a blur. She talked about being the face of Cinna's new design.

"Modeling?" Caesar asked, excitedly.

She shook her head. "No, nothing like that. More of just helping him promote his line by wearing his wonderful clothes. I've got enough on my plate without adding another job."

"What exactly do you have planned for the future? What type of endeavors does Katniss Everdeen dream about?"

"I'm going to continue in the music industry, actually."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really? Playing with a new band?"

"No," she drew out, taking a deep breath. "I actually am working on a solo album."

"A solo singing album?" He asked. Even though he had been prepped about her projects, the notion still seems to surprise him. "You'll have to forgive me for my skepticism, Miss Everdeen. It's just that..."

"No one's ever heard me sing?" She finished for him.

"Something like that."

She laughed. "That is a very valid reason to be hesitant about this. Believe me, I'm hesitant myself. But I do know how to sing. And I've got a fantastic team to help me shine. Hopefully it'll be a pleasant surprise."

"I wouldn't doubt it. The people at Snow Management have a proven track record, don't they?"

She nodded. "They're really supportive of the whole thing. They even brought in a brand new songwriter to work exclusively with me. It's comforting to know how far they're willing to go to help me succeed." 'Not that any of us really have a choice,' she thought.

"Is that so? Well, can we maybe persuade you to sing something for us tonight? I think everyone would just be tickled with that. Wouldn't you?" Again, the crowd yelled their assent. "What do you say, Katniss?"

She panicked slightly but he must have taken her reaction as that of her being embarrassed about being put on the spot. So when she shook her head, he covered for her.

"I'm sure we're jumping the gun, aren't we? How about this? We'll let you off the hook tonight. But when you're ready to release your first single, you premier it on this show. Deal?"

"Absolutely, Caesar. As long as everyone else finds that acceptable?" It was her turn to address the audience.

"I take that as a yes!" Caesar shouted over the crowd. "On that note, Miss Everdeen, I wish you the best of luck and I expect to see you back in that seat very soon. Katniss Everdeen, ladies and gentlemen! When we come back,  _Chic Line_ , designer, Portia, will be here to discuss the hottest trends for the season and a few things to make sure you never step out of the house wearing. I can only hope I'm not making too many fashion miscues. Stay tuned!"

Once again, the camera light shut off. This time, when the workers surrounded Caesar, one came over to her and offered her his arm. She stood and he escorted her to the side stage where Cinna immediately wrapped her up in his arms.

"You did great!" He exclaimed. "And you looked stunning."

Effie also congratulated her, saying that she came off utterly heartbreaking in her description of her friends. She didn't realize she said anything that could be remotely construed as 'heartbreaking' but it was a compliment from Effie, which was about as rare as a compliment from Haymitch, so she just accepted it. She was thankful when Haymitch announced that since Katniss' segment was done, he was going back to the hotel to drink and prepare himself for the party in her honor later tonight, so she could leave too.

These interviews with Caesar really were such a big deal that whenever someone managed by Snow had one, there was always some exorbitant celebration afterward. And unless you were working or had some extreme emergency, if you worked for Snow, you attended these parties. She hoped the late notice of her interview meant most of the employees wouldn't attend.

'These people are nauseating,' Katniss said to herself as she nodded in agreement with whatever was being said. Her cheeks hurt from smiling for so long and she really wanted a stiff drink. Her interview with Ceasar Flickerman went better than expected, at least for her, and now she had to listen to the painfully shallow ramblings of her "special, invited guests" when she'd rather be anyplace else. When the band was together, she let the others do this part while she sat at the bar with Haymitch, making fun of everyone. But when she tried to talk with him when she first arrived, he forced her into a small cluster of people.

It wasn't hard for Peeta to spot her when he arrived. She was still wearing the red dress from her interview and stood out from the harsh, artificial colors of most of the party-goers. He didn't want to talk to her here, but since she had ignored him every time he called and refused to see him in her apartment, it was his only choice.

She felt him watching her. And it didn't take long to lock onto his eyes from across the room. 'If this was some cheesy romantic-comedy movie, sappy music would start playing and we'd run to each other in ridiculously slow motion because we were so hopelessly in love,' she thought with a smirk. Only the look in his eye wasn't that of love but frustration. 'Probably because you've been ignoring him,' the voice in her head reminded her.

Katniss watched as he began making his way to her and she turned away quickly, hoping to disappear from his sight. She didn't want to talk about what she knew he wanted to talk about. Having always been small for her age, making an impromptu getaway was never a problem. She slipped through the crowd until she could no longer find him. She attempted to integrate herself into the small group of people she had inadvertently joined, keeping her front facing the door, to track him.

"Katniss Everdeen!" one of the women exclaimed, kissing her cheek as though the two were old friends. In truth, Katniss was fairly certain she had never met the woman in her life.

"We saw your interview," a portly man began. Katniss struggled to keep a straight face. Of course he had seen her interview. If he hadn't caught it the first time, there were large projector screens replaying it all night. "You were absolutely beautiful. Well, of course, you are still absolutely beautiful." He chuckled at his own joke and she smiled along.

"And that dress!" A tall, angular woman cried. "When I first saw it, I thought it was dreadfully simple. But when you twirled," she fanned herself dramatically, "it was like I could feel the flames through my television."

"Thank you so much," Katniss answered, ducking her head slightly, choosing to ignore the first half of her comment. "It was all thanks to my designer friend, Cinna so I can't accept too much of your praise."

This response made them fawn over her more.

"It's amazing to find someone so humble in this industry, especially when they come from such a successful family."

"What a sweet girl."

Katniss felt pressure on her elbow which made her jump slightly. She didn't anticipate him sneaking up on her from behind.

He leaned down so his lips were millimeters from her ear. "We need to talk." Her eyes closed instinctively and she inhaled sharply. His voice was low and controlled and it sent a shiver down her spine.

The group's attention was rapt on the two of them. Katniss playfully slapped his arm and laughed. "I am so rude! I can't believe I haven't introduced you to Peeta Mellark. He's the new songwriter I mentioned." She pulled him next to her in the group.

He narrowed his eyes at her but quickly brushed any frustration off. And when he flashed his smile and turned on the charm, she knew they would all be distracted long enough for her to make her escape.

"If you'll all excuse me, I'm absolutely parched."

"Of course, dear. Go rest your feet and get a drink. On me," the man said with a wink.

She bashfully smiled. "Thank you so much, sir. Thank you all for coming and for your support." She turned to the tall woman. "I'll be sure to pass along your compliments to Cinna. He'll be thrilled to hear he made such an impression."

The two others acknowledged her thanks while the tall woman's attention was solely focused on Peeta. Katniss slipped away to the bar where Haymitch and Effie were residing, but kept her eye on the interaction of the group. The tall woman kept finding ways to graze Peeta's arm and laughed too loudly at everything he said. She didn't care for how forward and obvious the woman was being, like she wanted the entire room to know she was flirting with him. Katniss' stomach tightened and an overwhelming sadness threatened her.

Her mind instantly flew back to Gale and when they attended events like this. Leevy never came. Gale always told Katniss it was because his wife didn't like that he was a musician and attended parties like this. Even then, she wondered if it was really that he wasn't telling Leevy about them. Gale would always find ways to innocently touch Katniss, throwing an arm over her shoulder, kissing her temple, brushing her arm as he walked past her; nothing obvious, nothing to draw attention. Not like this woman who so openly flaunted her ability to do whatever she wanted.

"Jealous, sweetheart?" Haymitch's voice broke her trance.

She turned on him with a scowl. "Of what?"

He laughed. "There she is. I was afraid the saccharin-sweet smile you've had plastered on had become permanent."

"Shut up, Haymitch," she countered, which just made him laugh more.

"You did a wonderful job, Katniss," Effie piped up. "Haymitch even said you could pass for a-" she paused. "What did you call her, Haymitch, a charming slug?"

"I think that's the closest you've ever come to paying me a compliment. You're getting soft, old man," Katniss said.

Haymitch grumbled something about how he said she could almost pass as charming.

"Katniss, have you thought anymore about what we talked about a few days ago?" Effie asked, taking a sip of her wine.

Katniss sighed. "You mean about trying to find a boyfriend? No, I haven't."

"Cesaer did you a favor when he agreed to hold off on those types of questions, but we can't continue to expect that in the future," Effie countered. "Do you at least have any potential prospects?"

"For a fake boyfriend? Sure, I hear Prince Harry is available."

"Don't sass me, I'm trying to help you," Effie responded.

Katniss was exasperated. "Then help me!"

"It's obvious she doesn't know what she's doing, Ef," Haymitch added.

Katniss glared at him. "Gee, thanks for the support." He shrugged in return which only upset her more. "Effie, I know how to date, I just don't know who I'm supposed to be dating for this whole 'new Katniss' thing. Or how to even find them. It's not like I've had a lot of opportunities to meet people."

Effie thought this over. "Well...what kind of people did you date in the past?"

"Ones that my mother hated," she grumbled.

"Ones most mothers would have hated," Haymitch added.

Katniss rolled her eyes, though she was sure he was right. After her father died she spent a few years rebelling against her mother's wishes anyway she could. Haymitch worked for Snow at the same time as her father, so it made sense that he knew about her and her family's past.

"So we just find you someone your mother would love," Effie concludes with a snap of her fingers. "What?" They both turned to where Haymitch was snickering into his drink.

"I'm just trying to picture the Girl with a clean-cut, straight-laced guy that her mother would approve of. It's just not possible."

"I could date someone my mother would approve of. If..that's what I had to do." The worst part of that was that her mother loved Gale. Of course, she didn't know the two were together but she used to tell Katniss that if she could bring home Gale's single twin, then she'd be the luckiest mother in the world. The idea of dating anyone her mother liked more than Gale made her stomach twist. Besides, she wasn't really that interested in dating someone her mother liked. She always hoped she'd end up with someone her father would approve of and would be proud to call his son. Gale would certainly not have been that person in her father's eyes.

Haymitch snorted.

"I'm sure you could," Effie said slowly. "But, just to be sure, let me make a few calls. See who I can round up." Effie pulled her electronic tablet from her purse and began typing furiously on it.

Haymitch pulled on Katniss' elbow and led her away from the frantic woman. "You don't want to be around her when she's like that. Go make your rounds." He ordered. "And try to stay out of trouble."

Katniss nodded though she didn't have any intention of doing that. Instead she waited for him to order another drink before sneaking out of the large ballroom, into one of the corridors only used by the servers. She knew that somewhere in this hallway was a small, deserted lounge that she could hide in. She found it the first time she ever came to one of these parties and tried to revisit it whenever she was back. It was as though no one else knew about it because she'd never seen anyone else even come back that way. She often considered bringing Gale to it but for some reason she never wanted to share her secret place.

She sat longwise on the couch and let her neck rest on the stuffed armrest, taking care not to put too much pressure on her hairdo. She closed her eyes and took in the smell of the old room. It reminded her of her childhood home, the one her father insisted they keep so her mother, sister, and her could have some semblance of a normal life. He insisted they take her mother's maiden name to protect them as much as possible from the harshness of celebrity life that he had endured.

" _But you just got home last week. How can they expect you to leave again for who knows how long this time?" Her mother said, attempting to keep her voice low. But they were in the next room and Katniss had developed overly sensitive ears._

" _I don't have much of a choice. Snow wants a new album and when Snow wants something, it needed to have been done yesterday," her father answered. He sounded tired, as he had the entire time he had been home._

" _James, you've already missed so many of Katniss' recitals. You don't understand how hard it is to find new things to say to comfort her when she's devastated that her daddy wasn't there. Again."_

" _It's not like I enjoy missing her perform. Or Primrose's first words. It kills me, Caroline, but I have a contract to fulfill. What do you want from me?"_

" _Let us come with you. We can find an apartment closer to you."_

" _No!" Her father yelled. Quietly, he continued. "I don't want the girls being exposed to that life. They deserve a childhood. They deserve to be happy."_

" _And what about me, James? Don't I deserve to be happy? I didn't marry you so we could live separate lives. Let us be a family for more than six months out of the year."_

" _Caroline, you knew this was a possibility when we started a family. I'm doing the best I can to provide for you all."_

_Her mother scoffed. "You know, sometimes, it sure doesn't seem that way."_

" _Who do you think bought this house? And your car? And paid for Katniss' classes?" Her father's voice was eerily low. He had always been such a jovial person with a booming, comforting voice. But now it made her nervous. She didn't like this change in her father._

" _You think this is about money? This is about your daughters having a positive male figure in their lives. About them having a father who isn't ashamed of them!"_

_Katniss immediately hid her head under the blanket. Her parents had never fought before and she pinched her arm as hard as she could, sure this was just some dream that she'd wake up from._

Her parents only fought when he had to return to L.A. to work, and always at night. The morning after the first fight, her father took her out for a special breakfast and told her he had to go back to work but that he loved her and would try extra hard to come home for her recital in two months. At the tender age of six, she told him that if he couldn't, she'd just do an encore presentation for him when he did get home. She remembered his eyes misting and him smiling brightly at her. And even after ten years of missed recitals, musicals, and choir performances, she continued to promise that she wasn't mad at him. And she never was.

Loud footsteps broke her out of her trance. She stood up quickly and stared at the door. Her muscles tensed, ready for whoever was coming closer to her sanctuary. She thought perhaps it a server or maybe a party-goer who drunkenly wandered off. The room was dark but as soon as he slid into the doorway the air of the room shifted. She felt her breath catch in her throat and even without being able to see those eyes, she knew who it was.

As though he could feel the same shift, he turned around and the two just stared at one another. She was glad she was still sitting because the sight of him made her legs feel weak.

He broke the silence first. "Done avoiding me?" His voice seemed to echo through the empty room.

She shrugged. "I thought you'd enjoy introducing yourself to the people who will help hype up the album. Besides, you looked quite taken with the tall one."

Peeta snorted as he walked toward the couch so he was directly in front of her. In the soft light that filtered in through the tiny window, she got a full view of him. "Are they all like that?" He rubbed where the woman had grasped his forearm.

Katniss nodded. "You're not in Kansas anymore, Toto." She saw that his confident demeanor seemed to slip and expose a bit of his fear and she laughed. "You learn how to ignore them after a while."

They were both silent for a moment. "You're good at ignoring things, aren't you?" He asked.

"Not really," she whispered sadly, glancing at him.

"You know we need to talk, right? Figure out what is going on here. I didn't mean for that to happen. I mean, that's not why I wanted to spend time with you. But now that is has, I don't think I can let it go so easily." He ran his hand over her arm and she shuddered.

"Peeta," she said softly. "I just can't afford to think about that. Not...not right now." Her body betrayed her words when her hand fell onto his chest. His steady heartbeat played against her palm as she physically mapped out the defined muscles she knew were hidden under his white button-down dress shirt.

"You look beautiful," he murmured. "Radiant as the sun." He traced where the hem of her dress met her shoulder.

They both felt the goose-bumps form wherever he touched. Her breath hitched as his thumb grazed her collarbone. It was such a simple gesture; but his feather-like touches set every inch of her skin on fire. He pushed a strand of hair out of her face and when his fingertips brushed the sensitive skin behind her ear she let out a soft sigh. She wanted nothing more than to lean into his touch, to feel him again. He had some strange ability to set things right for her without even knowing he was doing it.

She knew she couldn't mix up her professional and personal worlds, not again. Besides, Effie was already hard at work to find her someone to fill the personal void. There'd be no room for Peeta. She didn't know when the small gap between them disappeared but before either knew it, they were chest to chest, his lips at the same level as her forehead. She tipped her head up so not to break their gaze and felt the desire to kiss those supple lips again. Their faces were only a breath apart when she leaned in, kissing him softly. His hand wrapped around her back and pulled her closer while hers found their way through his hair as the kiss deepened. Every touch awakened a new part of her.

"You're so beautiful," he said, kissing down her neck. "So, so beautiful." She arched into him, savoring moment his lips were on her skin. They backed up until she felt the armrest of the couch bump into her back. He lifted her up easily, sitting her on the armrest, and she wrapped her legs around him, never once breaking contact.

Her head swam with confusion. She had just told him they couldn't be together, yet now that he was here, holding her, kissing her, wanting her, she couldn't help but feel like she had made a major mistake. In the dimly lit room, all she saw was him. All she wanted was him. When he ran his warm, strong hand up her thigh, she sighed contently. And when his hand reached the edge of her panties and pushed them aside, she threw her head back and groaned. His lips were on her neck at the same moment that he thrust a finger inside her. She raised her hips toward him, crying out in pleasure. His other hand reached around and held her back steady as he curled his fingers in her, pulling her closer and closer to the edge.

"Let go, Katniss," he ordered, his voice low and husky. It was that command, in that voice, along with the newly added pressure of his thumb on her nerves, that overtook her. As she clenched around his fingers, she let out a single high-pitched breath. He helped her sit back up on the chair and as he did, she saw that his eyes were shut tightly and he was mumbling something to himself.

She reached for him, placing a hand on his cheek. "Peeta?"

"I'm sorry, Katniss." He whispered.

"No," she answered, pulling his head closer so their foreheads touched.

He pulled away from her and turned his back. "You aren't looking for the same thing that I am from this but I didn't care. I was being selfish. And you deserve better than that."

She laughed, which caused him to turn around. "Peeta, you aren't selfish."

He scoffed in disbelief.

"I'm the one who told you I couldn't be with you but I kissed you first. I didn't try to stop you. I didn't want to stop you. Plus, I didn't even return the favor. Mostly because I don't want to get my dress dirty," she added with a slight smile. "Now who's being selfish? Maybe we could...be friends. Just friends," she warned, pointing her finger playfully at him.

"Friends." He chuckled and stepped toward her, wrapping his arms around her. "I'll try to control myself around you," he said into the top of her head. She just smiled into his chest. As they pulled apart, he looked around the room. "Where are we anyway? And why were you in here?"

"It's an old lounge. I think it used to be used by the servers here. But no one ever really uses it anymore so sometimes I come here to escape."

"Escape what?"

She looked into his eyes. Eyes that were able to portray every emotion possible. He was so good, so innately good, that she felt dirty and sinful to be standing in front of him. A part of her wanted to tell him the truth – about her role in her father's death, about her personal rebellion, about Gale – but wondered if his gentle soul could handle her damaged past. Yet as he watched her, his eyes searching hers for any kind of answer, she felt so safe and protected.

The silence that fell between them was suddenly interrupted by the sounds of Caesar Flickerman's voice replaying from the great hall.

_You'll have to forgive me for my skepticism, Miss Everdeen. It's just that..."_

_"No one's ever heard me sing?"_

_"Something like that."_

"Katniss?" He bit the inside of his cheek as he formulated his thoughts. "Why hasn't anyone heard you sing?"

She felt her face scowl, the way it did anytime someone asked her a question she didn't want to answer. Especially when it caught her off guard like his did. As she thought it over, she set her jaw, surprised at how quickly she could go from feeling safe and protected to feeling angry at the idea of him violating her personal history. The personal history she was tempted to tell him about just a few minutes ago. 'What the hell is wrong with you?'

"You're good, you know. Amazing."

She narrowed her eyes and took a step back from him. "How do you know what I sound like? No one's heard me sing since I was..."

"Sixteen," he finished. "At the State Show Choir Championship."

She shook head but he continued. "You started singing and the room fell silent. Even when everyone was singing, it was all about you."

"How-" she started again.

"It doesn't matter." He stepped toward her, holding her shoulders in his hands. She didn't want to feel the electric shock that ran through her body. "Katniss, you have a gift. Why would you ever hide that from people?"

She stepped out of his grasp and wrapped her arms around her middle. She replayed that day over and over in her head but it never lessened the hurt she felt. No one understood the role she played that day, not really. Her mother, Prim, Gale, the school counselor, the private therapist her mother forced her to go to, they all tried to tell her that self-blame was part of the grieving process. It was an accident, they all told her, an absolute tragedy, but the person responsible for the death of James Everdeen was the gunman who was now behind bars for life. But she knew the truth.

"We made it all the way to Nationals that year." She didn't recognize the voice talking. She registered feeling her throat vibrate, so she knew it was coming from her, but it felt so foreign. As though she were listening to herself talk about it. "It was the first time in the school's history. They giving me the solo – the one usually reserved for the senior captain. I was so excited, I didn't really expect it so when they told me, I immediately called my dad. He was so proud of me, said he'd bring Prim and Mom and we'd get to spend some time together in Phoenix."

She paused, wondering how she was supposed to continue. He must have sensed her apprehension because he stepped toward her again, using his thumb to wipe away the single tear that escaped. She watched him, becoming more and more blurry through her watery eyes.

"Katniss. You don't have to-"

"No." She countered. "I do." She took a deep breath and blinked away as many of the tears as she could. "We left for Phoenix three days before the performance so we could practice and get settled in. I called him the night before the competition, to make sure I knew what time they were getting in. He told me that he got called in to work on a collaboration that week and wouldn't be able to make it to Phoenix for the competition. He kept apologizing, saying that he tried to move the date back a week but they wouldn't let him."

Her voice started cracking so hard she wasn't sure if he'd be able to understand her. "I never got mad at him for missing my things. My mom used to yell at him about it and it always changed him, so I never let myself be upset. Something was different that night, though, and I just started screaming things at him. Horrible, hurtful things. Things I didn't mean but I couldn't stop. They just kept flowing out of me. He was crying on the other end. I didn't think my father was capable of crying and there I was, the reason for it." The tears were now flowing openly and she didn't bother trying to stop them. Neither did he. He kept his hand on her cheek but said nothing.

"He promised he'd leave early and get there in time for our set. He said he'd walk out of the studio to be there for me. I told him that I didn't believe him anymore and hung up. The next day I tried to push it all out of my head, try to pretend like I didn't say what I said, tried to just perform. They tell me I did a great job," she let out a single laugh. "I don't remember anything about it. I think I just went through the motions. When we took our final bow, I looked for him, I'm sure I did, but the lights were too bright to see anyone in the crowd.

"Primrose found me backstage, she came running into my arms with this little bouquet of daisies, our father's favorite flowers. I knew, in that moment, that I was right and he wasn't there. Because he always sent Prim with a bouquet of daisies when he couldn't make it. I was so angry. Six years I waited with no expectation from him and the one time he promised..." She couldn't continue, and she collapsed onto her knees, holding her face in her hands.

He was next to her in an instant, wrapping his arms around her shaking her body and rubbing his hands on her back. "Shh, Katniss. It's ok. I'm sorry I asked. I didn't mean to upset you. Just, deep breaths, ok? Deep breaths."

His voice was steady, despite the worry he was feeling for her. The rhythmic motion of his hands and the gentle rocking of his arms lulled her into a state of calm. She lifted her head. "Prim and I went to find my mom. She was so pale, like the life had been sucked out of her body. She smiled but there was something so obviously off about it. She told me she changed our flight and we were heading home immediately because...because..." Her voice dropped to barely a whisper, "because he had been shot leaving the studio. On his way to the airport. To come see me."

"Oh, Katniss," he fully sat on the floor and pulled her into his lap. He held her tight as she let down what he had to imagine was the biggest emotional wall she had. He knew that nothing he said would help her so he let her cry, not caring that his shirt was now soaked with her tears. "Hey," he said, after her tears lessened and her breathing returned to normal. She turned her head so her cheek rested on his shoulder. "If you keep that up, you're going to ruin your makeup." He gave her a small smile which caused her to burst out into a strange laughing-crying mix.

"I probably look like a clown," she said, finally pulling her head away from him.

He cocked his head to the side and shrugged. "A cute clown, though."

"What?" She cried, scrambling to get off of his lap.

He held her arms to prevent her from leaving. "I'm kidding, Katniss," he laughed. "You don't look like a clown. You look beautiful."

"That waterproof makeup Cinna used really lives up to its name." She laid her head back on his chest. "I just can't believe that my last words to my father were that I didn't believe what he told me anymore. What kind of daughter says that?"

"You were hurt. He knew that."

"He knew I was mad. I never...I never got to apologize for saying those things. I don't know how to not feel like this is my fault. If I hadn't pushed him to come he wouldn't have left the studio when he did and that guy never would have jumped him and he'd still be here."

He thought this over. "Maybe. But that's not something you'll ever really know. I mean, you can't go back and change that. You can only make the best of what you're doing now. Let go of your regrets about it."

"I don't know how to move on with that devil still on my back. I don't know how to rid myself of and it move on."

He kissed her forehead. "You surround yourself with people who want what's best for you. And you accept help when it's offered."

"You seem to always know exactly what to say."

He shrugged. "I just say what I think is true."

"See?" She laughed and climbed off his lap. "Come on, we've been missing for a while. People will probably wonder where that fabulous young songwriter went to."

He accepted the hand she offered and stood up, dusting off his pants. "Yes. Because it's me they're all here to see," he joked. "We should go back separately. No reason to cause a scene."

"Fuck a scene," she said with a smile, which he returned.

When they reached the door frame, he grabbed her hand and pulled her back into him. "I'm not going to pretend like I have any idea what you're feeling about your father's death. But it's never too late to shake off those demons and restart. You can use this opportunity to make your dad proud of you. Maybe that's how you make up for your last words to him."

She rubbed hands together, suddenly cold at the loss of his presence. She wondered if he had a point about the album. She already had to sing to protect her sister's innocence but there was no reason why she couldn't do it on her own terms, in her own way. There was a lot more to this Peeta Mellark that she imagined. She never talked about her past, even Gale didn't know about her role about her father. When she accidentally told him that she felt responsible for her father's death Gale laughed at her and told her to stop feeling sorry for herself.  _"You weren't the only one who lost their dad at a young age, Katniss. Some of us learned to buck and and move on."_

"Do you mind if I stop in the bathroom first so I can fix my makeup?" Sure enough, despite the ridiculous crying fit she just had, her face remained unmarred. She brushed the strand of hair that refused to cooperate behind her ear and for the first time that night, knew the smile she was displaying for everyone was genuine. When they returned to the party, she led him over to where Haymitch was chatting with a large group of people she recognized from previous parties. They slipped in unnoticed to all except Haymitch who wasn't even trying to disguise his gaze. Peeta's hand was on the small of her back, discretely rubbing his thumb over the small amount of skin that was exposed, causing goose bumps to reappear. After years of handling Delly and her emotional days, he learned that sometimes a simple touch was enough to keep the person standing.

"Where did you two run off to?" Haymitch asked, staring at them over his drink.

Katniss started to scowl but Peeta pressed his thumb against her back slightly. "I was trying to find the bathroom and Katniss found me wandering around the hallway. I have absolutely no sense of direction."

"Well wasn't that sweet of you, Katniss," one of the women gushed.

Haymitch narrowed his eyes. "Didn't you live in Chicago, Boy?"

'What the hell are you getting at, Old Man?' Katniss telepathically sent to Haymitch.

"Yea, my roommate had to buy me a GPS just so I could make it to work and class on time," Peeta answered with a laugh. "My brothers used to joke that I couldn't even find the kitchen without a map when we were kids." The group ate this story up with boisterous laughter and antidotes of their own about getting lost. As he talked, he hand never moved from his back. She told herself that he was still just trying to keep her calm and grounded after her meltdown in the lounge.

"Hmph." Haymitch shrugged and finished his drink. He shot a look over to Effie and raised a knowing eyebrow at her. Effie glanced between Haymitch and Peeta and smiled. She nodded and slipped her tablet back into her purse. She ordered another glass of wine and sipped it slowly, never taking her eyes off the group.

As the night wore on, Katniss felt herself leaning more and more into Peeta's body. He told himself it was because she was tired – she had had an exhausting day so he couldn't blame her. "You want me to call your driver?" he whispered into her ear.

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Probably should clear it with Haymitch so I don't violate some rule about leaving my own party." She pushed off him and weaved over to Haymitch. He attempted to turn his attention to the small group of people who were still hanging around but they were too involved in their own conversation to pay him too much attention.

"I've been given permission to head home. I think that means you're free, too."

Peeta relaxed when he felt Katniss reappear by his side. He knew he said they could be friends and he meant it. But it wasn't like he could just ignore the feelings he had for her just like that. Especially when she fit perfectly against his body and made him feel alive just by being near him. It was ultimately all of that which made him vow to keep his word to her and not push her into something more than she was ready for. She trusted him enough to tell him about her father and he couldn't betray her now by forcing his own desires onto her. As they weaved their way through the crowd, Katniss thanking random people for coming, he never broke contact with her. She wondered what trick Snow used to prevent reporters from hounding this particular party because while there were a handful of cameras when she arrived, they all seemed to have mysteriously vanished.

"Do you need a ride?" She asked as her town car pulled to the curb.

Peeta shook his head. He did want a ride but knew it wasn't the best idea to be alone in a confined space with her. That was proven in the lounge early. "No, I'm only a few miles from here and it's nice out still. I'll walk."

She frowned slightly but the look on his face meant that if she could convince him to get in the car he wouldn't be happy about it. "Will you call me when you get home? Just…just to make sure you're safe and home and didn't…fall in a sewer or something." She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from saying any more ridiculous things. 'It's normal to want to make sure your friend got home safe' she told herself.

He laughed. "Of course. And I'll be on the lookout for any man-eating sewers."

She scoffed. "That's not what I meant-"

"I know. Calm down, Tiger." They awkwardly stood facing each other. Inside, the light, constant touching wasn't out of place. Yet here, with no one around, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. They were friends now, and if she were Delly he could easily hug her with no issues. But she wasn't Delly; she was the complete opposite of Delly in many ways. The notable exception being her ever present mood swings.

"Well, um, I should probably get going…and you have a long walk ahead of you." Why the hell was she so nervous around him now? She was never a great speaker but now she couldn't even seem to form simple sentences.

"Sure," he answered, running his hand down the back of his neck. "Have a good night, Katniss."

"You too, Peeta." She unconsciously leaned in, removing any space between them. He radiated heat from his body and she wanted to absorb every bit of it. She inhaled his scent and her mind started spinning. What was it about this man that made her feel like the best kind of vulnerable? His hands settled on her waist as though that's exactly where they belonged. She should fight this; friends don't touch like this or stand this close to one another. But here they were, two friends, touching and standing, and letting the entire world pass them by.

"Catnip!"

She jumped away from Peeta and winced. Coming toward her was the only person alive who called her by her childhood nickname. "Gale," she gasped. "And...Leevy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first half was written and edited and ready to be put up but I couldn't give you guys another chapter with no interaction. Sooo I basically wrote the next chapter and combined it with this one. And of course, left you with a bit of a cliff-hanger. Keep cool, my babies.


	8. Is There Something I Can Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for what may feel like an abandonment of this story on here. I promise it wasn't, I just was a slacker when it came to updating. I'm working on getting it all caught up to ff.net

"Leaving your own party already, Katniss?" Gale asked.

She couldn't tear her eyes off of the linked fingers of Gale and his wife. It was, in and of itself, a perfectly innocent sign of affection. But all Katniss saw was another reminder of what she never had with him.

"I told him we were going to get here too late," Leevy said, her voice full of apology. "We were looking forward to celebrating with you, Katniss. You looked stunning during your interview."

Katniss wanted to hate Leevy. She did hate that the woman was married to the love of her life. She hated that she got to hold his hand and kiss him in public and didn't have to hide her feelings about it. But more than any of that, she hated that Leevy was the sweetest woman Katniss had ever met and deserved someone who was faithful and loved her as much as she loved Gale. She hated that she couldn't hate Leevy because Leevy was, truly, the innocent party.

"Thanks," Katniss mumbled.

"Gale said he didn't think it was really you; said no one would ever have convinced you to put on a dress in public," Leevy continued, playfully tugging on Gale's arm.

He smirked. "And here she is, in the flesh, very much in a dress."

"I wear dresses sometimes." It was a lie, she hated dresses. But something about his smirk and the way his steely eyes lingered over the curve of her hip while he was still holding onto her made Katniss defensive.

Leevy, missing the tone in her voice, giggled. "I thought you two knew everything about each other, Gale!"

'If you only knew' Katniss thought, immediately uncomfortable with the whole situation. She watched Gale's face, wondering if he felt the same awkwardness but realized his face exposed a different emotion. His eyes were burning a hole over her shoulder.

"Who's your friend, Catnip?" He overemphasized the end of her nickname as he said it.

'My friend? What is he-' she questioned until she felt Peeta shift next to her. 'Nice going, brainless. Remember that guy who you were ready to take home and jump before Gale showed up?'

"Peeta Mellark," he answered, holding his arm out toward Gale.

"Ah...the songwriter. Huh." He was smiling but there was something dangerous in his eyes as he shook Peeta's hand.

Leevy chuckled nervously. "I am sorry we missed your party, Katniss. I think it's wonderful that you're going to do some singing on your own."

Gale scoffed. "It'll be interesting, that's for sure. I've been told they want us to release our first single around the same time."

"Why would they do that?" Peeta asked.

"Because they want the competition," Gale answered, as though it was the most obvious answer in the world. "It'll cause a rush of sales because people will compare them."

"It'll be the first indication of who will be successful," Katniss whispered.

Leevy looked confused. "Isn't that a conflict of interest for Snow? Why wouldn't they release them on subsequent days so people will buy both?"

"People may buy both, but Snow thrives on the idea of competition. The whole process is like a fight to the death and only the strongest survive." Gale turned to Peeta and smugly added, "here's hoping you're as good as they say you are, kid."

"You should worry about your own success, man, rather than hers," Peeta countered.

"I don't worry about success. People already know I can sing," Gale sneered

Katniss felt her chest tighten at Gale's words. He had a point. He had a decisive advantage over her because not only had he proven he could sing but he had success with singing. There was no way she could possibly compete with him.

"I thought you said Katniss had a pretty voice," Leevy said gently.

Katniss snapped her head to Gale and watched him pale slightly. "What?"

"Yes, he said that he's heard you hit notes he didn't think were humanly possible. But they were the most beautiful thing he had ever heard." She looked to Gale for confirmation. "That's what you meant, right? That her singing voice was pretty?"

"What else would I mean, Baby?" He answered, wrapping his arm around her waist, actively avoiding the shocked expression on Katniss' face. He pulled Leevy close to his side and kissed her temple affectionately. "But I've only heard it a handful of times, so who knows if she can actually keep it up for an entire album."

The silence that followed felt like hours. Katniss had gone completely numb, unable to feel any part of her body. She registered certain things, the spring breeze against her legs, a lone cricket chirping, the moonlight shining above her but none of them had any impact on her being.

"It's getting late. Maybe we should let Katniss get home?" Leevy suggested. Her soft, quiet voice cut through the air but barely registered in Katniss' hazy brain. "I'll be in town for a few months, if you want to get together. I'm sure it can't be easy, with all the pressure on you. It might be helpful to have a friendly face during all of this."

God, she desperately wanted to hate sweet, friendly, sincere, Leevy. "That'd be nice," Katniss choked out.

Leevy smiled brightly. Gale raised his eyebrow slightly but it quickly fell back into place. "The wife's right, it probably is time to let you two...get back to whatever it was you were doing."

Katniss wanted to snap at him, to remind him that she could do whatever she wanted with whomever she wanted and he couldn't have a say in it anymore. But, like the desire to hate Leevy, she knew she couldn't tell him off. "We weren't doing anything," Katniss answered meekly, like she had just been scolded.

"Either way," he continued, "even if you're leaving your own party, we still need to pop in and make an appearance. Have a good night, Catnip." He turned his gaze back to Peeta. "You too, Mellark, and good luck with that one." Then, with a sharp laugh, he and Leevy walked into the ballroom. Katniss saw Leevy throw her an apologetic look over her shoulder but dismissed it quickly. She didn't need Leevy's sympathy.

Peeta coughed nervously. "That was, um, interesting."

Katniss nodded. Her body was still numb, like it had been filled with Novocain, and her mind was confused as ever. "I want to go home," she whispered into the air. Turning to him, she asked, "Can I go home now?"

"Of course." He opened the car door for her and asked the driver to take her back to the hotel.

As he pulled away to close the door, her hand snapped out and grabbed his wrist. "Come with me?"

Something was off. He could sense the sadness radiating from her body, but her eyes were blank, her voice hollow. He wasn't sure if this was a smart thing for their friendship, going back to her place with her. But was it didn't seem any better to leave her alone right now. After the interview and her confession about her father, the sudden run-in with her former band mate seemed to have pushed her over some emotional cliff. "Katniss," he started, but her hold on him tightened.

"Please." She wasn't begging him. There was innocence in her question that he couldn't deny.

He sighed and resigned himself to getting into the car with her. As soon as he did, she curled up next to him with her head resting on his chest. He rubbed her back and they rode like that in silence until the hotel loomed into view. The car stopped short of the front doors and the driver adjusted his mirror so he could see the two in the backseat.

"There are reporters here, sir. Would you like me to drop her off and take you home separately?"

Peeta didn't know why the driver was addressing him instead of Katniss until he looked down and saw she had fallen asleep against him. He shook her slightly, causing her to stir and grumbled into his chest. "Katniss, we're back at the hotel."

She sat up and looked out the front windshield at the flashing cameras ahead. "Can we go in the back?"

The driver shook his head. "Hotel staff requested that we don't use that entrance anymore. They said it causes a bigger disruption in their parking system."

"And Heaven forbid we don't cause a disruption right in front of their hotel." It was the first bit of emotion she elicited and Peeta welcomed it, even if that emotion was ire. "They just like the free publicity they get out this; they don't give a damn about the privacy of their guests."

"Katniss, do you want to be let off here alone? I don't want-"

She shook her head. "No, Peeta. You'll be joining this world sooner or later. It's easier to have someone beside you when you do."

"Are you going to be okay to do this?"

"I don't have a choice. Look beyond the cameras or you'll never be able to see. Smile. Be charming." Her words, now, were back to being flat and unaffected. It unnerved Peeta how quickly she could slip back into a state of detachment.

"Are you telling me or yourself?" Peeta joked, hoping to get some sort of genuine reaction out of her.

She looked at him, her face still stoic, but there was the slightest of glint in her stormy gray eyes. It was all he was hoping for and all he needed to open the car door and slide out. He held his hand out to help her stand, then followed behind her as she winded through the reporters.

"Katniss! Katniss! Give us a twirl, will you? Let's see that dress in action!"

Katniss had a cheek-hurting smile plastered on her face as she made a small circle outside the door. It was met with whistles and cheers from both sides.

"Who's that with you, Katniss?"

She pulled him closer to her. "This is Peeta Mellark, the songwriter I mentioned earlier."

"How do you spell that?"

She looked at him expectantly. He smiled at the cameras and leaned over to the reporter who asked. "P-E-E-T-A. M-E-L-L-A-R-K." The women next to that reporter was staring at him longingly, so he winked at her, sending her into a fit of giggles. He smiled and stood back. 'Charming Peeta, check.'

Katniss was addressing the other side of reporters and seemed to be engrossed in a conversation, so when they started asking him questions, he continued to answer them. They were simple enough questions – Where was he from? How long had he been writing? What was his favorite part of the experience so far? Did he think Katniss had a shot?

"Absolutely," he answered, looking over his shoulder at her. She had just turned and caught his eye which elicited the smallest, yet genuine, smile from her. "She's a great singer and has a spirit that can't be broken. She's definitely the inspiration behind everything I write so I hope I can do her proud."

Peeta felt her hand on his elbow. When looked into her eyes and saw that every laugh she had given the reporters had drained her more and more of any real emotion. The glint in her eye, that one true smile, and even the fire from the car, were long gone. It broke his heart as she wore her pretend face, telling the reporters that it was time for her to head inside.

Katniss wordlessly made her way to her room, her legs remembering when to turn and which door was hers better than her mind could. As soon as the door was closed, she turned to Peeta and stared blankly at him. "I want to sleep."

He wasn't sure what he was supposed to, but when she moved to her room and he stayed put, she looked over her shoulder expectantly at him. So he followed her. She sat on the edge of her bed and closed her eyes, letting her head fall to her chest. He stood nervously in the doorway for a few minutes while she remained motionless.

"Katniss," he started toward her, but her head remained fixed. Against his better judgment, he sat next to her. The shift in the bed caused her body to lean against his and she made no move to adjust herself.

"I just want to sleep."

Her voice was barely audible, had her head not been on his shoulder he doubted he would have heard it. "Okay," he answered. "Let's get you ready for bed." He moved from the bed to where her suitcases were stored in the closet. After rummaging around a few, he found a pair of athletic shorts and an over-sized shirt. He slowly unzipped her dress and pulled it away from her shoulders. Pulling her up to stand, the dress slipped off her hips and pooled on the floor at her feet. "Do you want to shower first?" He asked quietly.

She shook her head. "Sleep," she repeated.

"Raise your hands, Katniss." It seemed to take all of her effort to make the simple movement so he finished dressing her quickly. Getting shorts on her ended up being more problematic than the t-shirt, so he opted to leave her in her underwear for the night. He scooped her in his arms and carried her the few feet to the side of the bed. Pulling back the blankets, he placed her down and planted a kiss on her temple. She stared at some indistinguishable spot on the wall.

He sat next to her curled body and began pulling out the pins that held her hair up.

"I wish I could sing."

He stilled his fingers. "Who told you couldn't?"

She closed her eyes and didn't say anything else, so he went back to undoing her hair, placing each pin on the night stand table in a pile.

"Peeta, will you...never mind."

"What do you need, Katniss?"

She opened her eyes and fixed them on his. They were still dead, as though the life had been completely sucked out of her through them. "Can you sing?"

He chuckled. "Not very well, unfortunately. My mother used to call me the ultimate insult to music whenever I tried."

She was quiet again. "Are you staying?"

"I should write," he answered. "I'm sure they're expecting something soon."

"Can it wait? Just until I fall asleep? I don't want to be alone right now." She shifted over slightly to make room for him.

"Until you fall asleep," he promised, kicking his shoes off and lying next to her. Immediately, she curled into her body. He resumed running his fingers through her hair, finding that it relaxed her body. He rested his forehead against hers and began whispering,

"Whoever made the claim that words could ease the pain

Never watched your tears fill up an ocean

Never saw your face, the moment you found out

That you'd have to live without, until heaven

Is there something I can do other than being here for you to ease the pain

If I can keep you from falling down

I'm sorry to sound selfish but I feel so helpless

Is it ok if I stay here with you and cry for a while

Whoever made the claim that words could ease the pain

Never watched you fall apart, never put you back together

When you were broken down, into a million pieces

Scattered on the ground.

Is there something I can do

What can I say, what can I do"

When he finished, her side was rising and falling the familiar, welcomed, rhythm of sleep. Her face was calm, muscles relaxed, and there was a ghost of a smile playing across her lips. It was the first time that day that she looked at peace. Placing another soft kiss on forehead, he slipped away from her.

From the moment she told him about her father's death, he understood that in order to flourish, she'd have to accept what happened and release her regrets about it. And the only way he could help her, would be if he wrote it out for her. He pulled one of the over-stuffed chairs from the living room to the foot of her bed and settled himself into it.

It took six hours, two of the hotel's complementary notepads, and countless replays of the conversation in his head, but before Katniss woke up he had written a song for her that he hoped would be exactly what she needed. He used the last scrap of unused paper to leave a note. As he touched the pen to the paper, he found he was unable to think of what to tell her, how to explain why he wasn't there when she woke up. He scribbled down the only thing he could think of and left it on her nightstand atop the mountain of hair pins.

"At some point, you have to stop running and turn around and face whoever causes you pain. The hard part is finding the courage to do it. When you're ready, I'll be here. Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giving credit where credit is due. The song is called "Is There Something I Can Do" by Five Star Iris. Originally written by Alan Schaefer and Dexter Green. The note Peeta left is *almost* word for word from The Hunger Games series. Obviously changed it slightly since the original quote said "face whoever is trying to kill you" and no one is really trying to kill Katniss here. And then I added the last two sentences.
> 
> I know Katniss is kind of all over the place between the last chapter and this one. But, come on, how would you react if you just revealed one of your biggest and most painful secrets to someone and then ran into your ex?


	9. Chapter 9

It had been two days since the party; at least, Katniss thought it had been two days. She only got out of bed to use the bathroom and had kept the curtains in her room drawn, so any concept of time was lost on her. Her phone buzzed constantly for a while but one text to Effie cut those almost completely. She drifted in and out of sleep, though she tried to avoid closing her eyes for too long. Every time she did, she'd wake up in a cold sweat.

Her therapist used to tell her that her nightmares were exacerbated by stress and exhaustion and that she should really consider taking some medication to help her sleep. When  _Dr_.  _Aurelius_  first suggested it, she tried them and was trapped watching her father's murder over and over again without any ability to wake up. She flushed the rest of the pills down the toilet and she kept every prescription he wrote after that in a zipper of her suitcase, never filling a single one.

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes. How long were you planning on holing yourself up this time, Sweetheart?" Haymitch was leaning in the door frame that led to her room.

Katniss didn't respond to her mentor's teasing, opting instead to stare blankly at him.

Haymitch strode over to the curtains and threw them open, exposing her to the harsh sunlight that often accompanied afternoon. She hissed her opposition to the change. He snickered. "You can't do this every time, you know."

"He showed up to my party." She croaked, hiding her face under a pillow. Her throat burned as the words formed. The crying stopped early on but not talking for however long it had been, took its toll on her body.

"What did you expect? You know employees are required to go. And you all insist on keeping up that 'we're such good friends' bit; it wasn't a surprise he was there."

She sat up in a huff. "But did he have to bring her?"

Haymitch snorted. "His wife? Given the way his new manager is trying to fix his image I'm surprised they didn't announce their vow renewals that night."

She glared at him.

"He made his choice and you weren't it, Sweetheart. So you either get the hell over him and focus on your album or you don't and risk the chance of pissing off Snow further. Your choice, though the answer seems obvious."

"You don't get it, Haym-"

"I damn well do get it!" He snapped. "You aren't the only one who's had to get over a damn broken heart. But stop acting like a petulant child and do your damn job."

"Three damns? What, did I hit a nerve?" She was irritated with him and it was her natural impulse to bite back at him; that was how they always communicated.

Rather than an equally snarky comeback, Haymitch narrowed his eyes. "Believe what you want, but everyone is here to help you." His voice was low and controlled in a way that meant he was beyond their usual banter. "The people buying your albums though, they don't have to put up with your pissy attitude and believe me, they won't. They'll turn on you quicker than you can think. Then you'll have to deal with the consequences."

She continued scowling at him, refusing to openly acknowledge that he was correct. He had never spoken to her in that way – no one had since her father died. And even before then she could count only a handful of times when one of her parents' voices sounded like Haymitch's. She watched as his features softened. He wasn't threatening her, he was warning her, trying to protect her from whatever will happen if she failed, what must have been threatened against him. "Haymitch," she said softly.

He shook his head. "I'm not here to tell you my sob story. I'm here to prevent you from having your own."

"It's almost like you care about me, old man."

Haymitch coughed uncomfortably. "Almost. Now, get out of bed. You've already wasted most of the day."

She reluctantly pulled the blankets off and swung her legs off to the side. She stumbled a bit, feeling like a deer just learning to walk, and had to hold onto the wall for support. "Is this what you feel like every morning?"

"Don't try to insult me," he shot back with a smile. "It's just embarrassing. And put some pants on, will you?"

She looked down and scrambled to cover her lower half with her hands. What was it with her lately and not noticing she didn't have pants on? Unfortunately, the quick movement of her hands caused her to lose her balance and ram into the wall. Haymitch shook his head and meandered into the living room area of the suite. She scooped up the gym shorts that were lying on the foot of the bed and gracelessly slipped them on.

"Why are you here, Haymitch?" She asked, sitting in the remaining over-sized chair next to the couch.

His feet were comfortably resting on the coffee table in front of him and he was flipping through channels on the television. "Effie sent me. She appreciated the text by the way, even if it was telling her to tell everyone else to leave you alone."

Katniss shrugged. "Figured she'd be able to relay that message in a more...diplomatic way."

Haymitch didn't answer; he just continued flipping through the channels.

"Why did Effie send you?" She asked, irritated by his unresponsiveness and nonstop channel surfing.

He flipped forward a few channels then back one. "Ah, here we go." He grimaced at Katniss as the overly produced theme song started playing. "Effie tells me that I don't know enough about pop culture. She insists that I watch this crap every day as some sort of exposure therapy or something." He sat back on the couch and rested his hands behind his head.

"What is this? Oh..." The name of the show flashed on and she turned to Haymitch. "Seriously? 'Celebrity Watch List?' This is ridiculous! Effie's not here, you don't have to watch it."

"I was given explicit instructions that I was to come here, get you out of bed, and make sure you saw this, actually. I think it was a bigger deal that you watch this than I do since I've already caught this little episode while you were having your little episode."

She groaned. 'Celebrity Watch List' was a faux news show that focused on the entertainment world. Most of the show was devoted to idle gossip about who may or may not be getting married, dissecting what someone was thinking when they wore some gaudy outfit, and why this week's "it" couple is in danger of breaking up. Every so often the vapid anchor would talk about an upcoming movie or new album. Even rarer were the times when she reported on an actual news story, like the death of James Everdeen.

_The sun was shining, which only pissed Katniss off more. She didn't want to be here, to be constantly reminded of her own selfishness. She was supposed to be with her choir, celebrating their third place status at Nationals, the highest they had ever placed. Instead she was watching her father's lifeless body being lowered into the ground._

_She was told the service was beautiful. Plenty of people showed up and said beautiful things about her father. How caring he was. How talented he was. How sad they were that he was taken so young. It was the first time she ever saw Haymitch. He sat in the back of the church, unapologetically taking swigs from his flask. Only a few moments remained burned in her memory of that day. Haymitch's scowl, her sister burying her face in Katniss' dress, the handful of dirt they each threw on his coffin, the damn sunshine, and those reporters who wouldn't leave._

That was the first time Katniss had appeared on the show, though only in a picture of the grieving family. Since then, the entire band became regulars on the show, though she was often kept away from the gossip section.

"Hello everyone, I'm Vestia, your anchor here on 'Celebrity Watch List' and have we got some big, big, big stories for you today!" The perky "anchor" chirped as the cameras focused on her. All week long we've been bringing you the updates you've been looking for about the tragic fall of the wildly popular 'District 12.' We're happy to confirm today that Finnick Odair has been signed for a small role in an upcoming summer blockbuster. Unfortunately we haven't been privy to which blockbuster, but as soon as it's announced, we'll be there to share the news with all of you. And let's be honest, who doesn't want to see that beautiful man on the silver screen?" A few high-pitched 'whoops' came from off camera. "As we've previously reported, though still not confirmed, that Johanna Mason will be helping out an up-and-coming, yet undisclosed, female artist who has been described as having a punk-pop style. Not quite sure what that means but just the name would seem to fit the Johanna Mason we've all come to know.

"Since the news about the end of the band, we've all assumed that front-man Gale Hawthorne would release a solo album but it seems as though he may have been beaten to the punch by the elusive Katniss Everdeen. She's been the most difficult of the four to predict what her next move would be until her interview with Ceasar Flickerman last night. If, somehow, you missed it, here's a clip of her explaining what her future holds."

Katniss watched in silence as they replayed the section of her interview with Ceasar which announced her solo album. She had heard it throughout the party but never actually saw what she looked like, the way the stage lights caught the nestled jewels of her hair and dress, how the makeup Cinna put on her made her appear youthful and approachable with just a touch of allusiveness, or how every duck of her head and bashful smile indeed made her come off as charming and shy rather than aloof and detached.

"After her interview, Miss Everdeen attended an after-party hosted by Snow Management in her honor, where some of the biggest names in the music industry were in attendance." A series of clips were shown of the party-goers arriving. Despite being the 'biggest names in music', she only recognized a few of them from the short conversations she had during the party. "This was the first time anyone met the young song-writer Miss Everdeen mentioned in her interview, a Mister Peter Mellark."

"Peeta," Katniss corrected under her breath. She was still staring at the screen, which now showed a picture of Peeta from when he first arrived. The shot was blurry and of his profile, making her think that it was probably a random shot some reporter got without meaning to. He was still a nobody at that time, after all.

"Attendees told us that Mr. Mellark fit in quite well, making lively conversation with those around him, including Miss Everdeen herself. Reports suggest that the two were nearly inseparable all night, looking quite cozy next to each other and even leaving together."

Katniss let out a gasp as a photo of her and Peeta outside the party showed up on the screen. His hands were on her waist and she was leaning into him; it was the moment before everything seemed to fall apart. Only, she could have sworn there weren't any cameras around at that time.

"Once back at the hotel, Miss Everdeen and Mister Mellark fielded some questions from anxious reporters, including some of our very own."

A clip was played of Katniss exiting the town car and spinning around outside the hotel. The reporter asked her a question and Katniss cringed at how fabricated her entire demeanor appeared. There was only one moment that was genuine, when Peeta looked over his shoulder and caught her eye. "She's a great singer and has a spirit that can't be broken," he said into the microphone. She noticed that he was much better at playing to the crowd than she was, with smiles and winks and well-placed laughs that didn't appear forced, like hers had. "She's definitely the inspiration behind everything I write so I hope I can do her proud." His words seemed so effortless she found herself almost believing them.

The anchor returned to the screen. "Katniss flew under the radar for year but has now become a promising star on the rise and we are the lucky ones who get to witness it as she unfolds. Her upcoming album may very well be the most anticipated project in years. I, personally, can't wait to see what kind of magic those two can cook up. We here at 'Celebrity Watch List' wish them both the best of luck. And you know where you can find every update on each former member of 'District 12' and their upcoming projects. After the break, you won't believewho was seen shopping at Baby-N-Me with a potential baby bump of her own. Come on back."

Katniss turned her attention to Haymitch who was watching her out of the corner of his eye. "It's Livia Ops – that horrific actress. Don't worry, she's not pregnant. Apparently she's just preparing for a new role."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't give a shit about Livia Ops."

He sighed. "This is a good thing, Katniss. Online viewings of Ceasar's show are the highest they've been in a long, long time, and searches for 'Katniss Everdeen' have spiked since this segment aired. This is the kind of publicity that sells records and saves your ass. You should be thankful that boy is helping you out like he is. After you two left Crane made a point of telling me that the lovebird routine will really help you shed your 'ice queen' persona."

Everything in that last sentence confused Katniss. Most of all, she didn't understand why Seneca Crane, Snow's right hand man, would say anything to Haymitch directly. Ever since the time he stuck his tongue down Katniss' throat on her eighteenth birthday, Seneca made a point to avoid her and Haymitch. It probably didn't help that Katniss immediately kneed him in the crotch, causing him to collapse to the floor where Haymitch broke two of his fingers by stepping on them with the heel of his boot.

"Effie and I agreed that the best way to soften your image is to continue having you seen with Peeta. He's a natural charmer but with a real genuineness about him. It's an easy sell, really. Everyone loves a good love story."

"An easy sell?" Katniss asked. "A love story? Me and Peeta?"

She could admit there was an undeniable pull about Peeta, something that made her feel like she could be open in a way she hadn't been before, she had proven that when she told him about her father. But she was in a vulnerable position then, he hadjust given her a bone-liquefying orgasm. Her brain was loopy and full of bonding hormones and she couldn't be held responsible for what she was feeling or how she responded afterward. Besides, she loved Gale. Gale was who she was supposed to be with, that whole pesky 'wife' thing aside. This wasn't their first fight, nor was it the first time he made a show of being with Leevy, and every time he came back to Katniss. She didn't love Peeta, he was, at best, a physical distraction until Gale came to his senses, but was, ultimately, just an employee. A way to protect herself and her sister.

But Haymitch seemed to think that the two of them being seen together would help her and he had the better head for this than she did. Maybe this was what needed to happen to appease Snow for a little while. It was a better option than staying in bed for another few days. And maybe seeing them together would snap Gale back into reality and things could go back to the way they were.

"So what do I do next? Besides apparently gallivanting around town with Peeta?"

"You do what you both have promised you can do; you start singing. Hawthorne's already got a team of writers going to town to get him a single as soon as possible," Haymitch explained. "They're looking at the next few weeks for him."

She nodded. "He said something about wanting our singles released at the same time. Did you know that was the plan?"

"We knew it was a possibility. Thankfully you've got a manager who can wrangle a team together just as well as his can. Effie wasn't kidding when she called that boy of yours a secret weapon. I've seen his work, and if he writes songs half as well as he writes anything else, combined with your talent, no one would question keeping you around."

She scoffed. "Please, Haymitch. You have to say that because you got stuck with me."

His eyes hardened. "Listen, Sweetheart. None of us got 'stuck' with you, we chose you. Hawthorne came running as soon as that press conference ended and damn near begged me to work with him. It would have been the easier choice, without a doubt."

"So why did you pick me?"

His face contorted as he thought of the best way to answer her question. "Because you've got more of a reason to be here, you're a fighter. And, frankly, you deserve it more than he does." He narrowed his eyes at her. "But if you tell a damn soul I just said that then it won't just be Snow you'll have to worry about."

"Scout's honor, Coach," she answered, holding up three fingers.

"You're a shit, you know that? Look, I'm not kidding about getting you into the recording studio to sing." His change in tone signaled that whatever strange bonding session they just had was effectively over. "I reserved some time for you tomorrow afternoon to at least get a single down to play for Snow."

"I don't have anything to sing," she protested.

"Sure you do. Your boy dropped off some hand-written lyrics yesterday morning and stayed with the tech guys all day while they created the back track. Band should be done recording today so we'll just have to fit your part in."

"Oh. I guess I don't have much of a choice, then, do I?"

"Now you're learning. So, tomorrow at 3:00, be at the studio." He put his hands on his knees to help get off the couch when she stopped him.

"Haymitch, before you go, do you really think this 'Peeta and me' thing will work? I mean, you think it'll help people like me?"

He shrugged, "It can't hurt. But, yea, I think it'll work. After you left, you two were all anyone could talk about. Plus, him talking about your spirit and your fight and all that made you something you've never really been before, he made you desirable. And Seneca's bode of confidence will get to Snow. That's the trick, convince himand you've got it made." He set his hands on his knees again. "Anything else?"

She shook her head no and he made his way to the door.

"So 3:00 then, at the studio. Oh, I almost forgot," he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a stack of folded paper. He set them down on the counter near the door. "Read over these, get them learned. When you get there tomorrow, we'll play the music for you a few times."

She heard the door click closed as she processed what was happening with her life. In less than a week she went from unassuming bass player in a world-famous band to being one of the most buzzed about celebrities. And then there was Peeta, who had taken care of her when she needed it, who readily agreed to be friends with her, who didn't pity her for her father, who didn't give into Gale's attempt to intimidate him. Being seen with Peeta in public had been her biggest benefit. People liked him, they liked her with him, and so she'd have to keep up the appearance of them being together. _'_ _Convince him and you've got it made'_. She knew it would take a lot more than a few mandatory parties and contrived interviews to convince Snow that she was likeable and, more importantly, profitable enough to keep her on the label and keep her secrets.

If seeing her with Peeta was really what would help her, then she knew exactly what needed to be done. It took her three attempts to finally work up the nerve to dial him up and arrange for a chat. She wasn't convinced she could really go through it, the whole idea made her sick to her stomach, but the ends would justify the means. She would play the game because she had no other choice.

* * *

"I feel like I'm selling my soul to the devil," Katniss muttered as he took a seat at the bar next to her.

"Oh, come on, now, I'm not that bad."

"Not that bad? I hate everything you stand for. Everything you do. Believe me, this is about as low as I can get."

"Lower than sleeping with a married man?"

If looks could kill he would have dropped to the floor in that instant.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. That was…uncalled for," he said, putting his hands up in mock surrender. "I must admit, when I got your call I was surprised."

"Yea well…"

"You got desperate." It wasn't a question from him, but a statement.

"It figures you'd be used to only getting calls from desperate girls."

He laughed. "I forgot what a firecracker you are, Everdeen. My nose healed nicely, by the way, since the last time we talked privately."

"You deserved it," she snorted. "You were being an ass."

"Probably," he agreed. "But you weren't the first person to hit me for doing my job."

"And I doubt I was the last."

"I've learned to pick my battles a little…differently since then. So to what do I owe the pleasure today, Miss Everdeen?"

"I want to hire you," she said simply.

He smirked. "What makes you think I'm for sale?"

"I know you. You'd do anything for an exclusive."

"That's an intriguingly vague offer. Unfortunately I'm going to need a little more than that before I'll consider."

She groaned, knowing he'd be difficult. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she continued. "You're aware that I'm undergoing a bit of a…"

"Identity change," he finished for her.

"Something like that, yes. But I need help. That's where you come in."

He ran his tongue along the edge of his teeth. "I don't follow." She knew damn well that he did and just wanted to actually hear her say it out loud.

"I know you don't do field work like you used to, but you've still got the itch. Let me help you fill that void by…" she took a deep breath before continuing, "by hiring you to follow me for a while."

Cocking his head to the side, he grinned. "Your own personal paparazzi? That's bold for someone who once told me to shove my camera up my ass."

"You deserved that, too."

He pursed his lips as he considered the option. "What would you do if I declined?"

She blinked, never considering that he wouldn't jump at the opportunity. "I'd, I'd find someone else."

"What's to stop me from reporting what you're offering? I work for the biggest tabloid paper in the country," he countered.

"Maybe I'd go to the biggest tabloid television show. I doubt Vestia would turn down the chance for exclusive coverage." It was a total lie. If she thought this conversation was bad she couldn't imagine trying to proposition that foul woman.

He stared at her, disgust registering over his face. "Vestia Carmichael," he spat. "By principle alone I should accept your offer before letting you deal with that piece of slime. She acts like she's above it all but she's no better than anyone else. But big, fake tits are apparently all you need to get your own show."

"So you'll do it?"

"I'll do it," he agreed, "for double my current salary plus exclusive features. You don't even thinkabout making a deal with anyone else."

"And in return?" She countered.

She really hated the sly grin he wore too easily. "In return I'll be at your personal beck and call."

"No questions asked?"

"Total discretion. I publish under an alias, tell no one I'm working for you, and I won't share anything with anyone else. No one will ever know your dirty little secret, Katniss Everdeen." He slid a business card over to her. "That's my private number, call or text when you want me and I'll be there." He stood to leave. "We'll be in touch. Soon, I hope."

"Tomorrow," she said. "Snow Records. 3pm."

"Tomorrow it is then."

She grabbed his arm as he walked past her. "Cato," she said in a low voice. "I'm going to need that tape."

He smirked and pulled the small recorder out of his shirt pocket. Popping it open, he tossed the tape toward her. She turned it over in her hands as he walked past her. 'What have you just done, Katniss?' she asked herself, slipping the tape into her jeans pocket and exiting out into the early evening air. She let her mind wander as she took in the scent of fall.

Primrose would be starting her first semester of college on the opposite side of the country and it broke her heart that instead of helping her move into her dorm room, Katniss was making deals with the reporting equivalent of the devil. 'But that's why you're doing this,' she reminded herself. 'Because Prim deserves a real life away from all of this.' Her sister was only twelve when their father died, she was still young enough to continue living.

_The night after his funeral their mother found her daughters curled up with one another in Katniss' bed. She took in the sight, olive skin wrapped protectively around pale, dark and blond hair mixing together, reassuring whispers passed between the girls. "We're moving," she announced._

_"Where to, Momma?" Prim asked, raising her tear stained faced from her sister's chest._

_"Far from this place, from these memories." The girls recognized the tone of voice; it was the same one she used at the hospital to console families who lost their loved ones. It was shallow and clinical. She turned her attention to Katniss who stared blankly at the wall next to her bed; her arms were still gripped tightly around her younger sister's body. "So we can forget."_

_"I can never forget," Katniss whispered as she fell asleep. Forgetting could only come after forgiveness and nothing could ever allow her to feel forgiven._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there's no real Everlark in this chapter, some people wanted a little Katniss/Haymitch interaction so I decided to indulge them a little. Hopefully I don't get too much flack for the end of this chapter – it really does play into the plot line I've created in my head (nothing is done just to be done in this story). One of the aspects of Katniss' personality that was evident in the book that isn't always shown in fanfics is that she is pretty manipulative of her and Peeta's relationship, especially until the Quell. She has a valid reason for her behavior but she's really not always a very nice/sympathetic person in regards to him. I wanted to play that up – that she's willing to do what she has to do to protect those she loves. Also, Cato is ridiculously fun to write.


	10. Shake it Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Long chapter alert!* *Drama llama alert!* *Everlark lemony alert!* So...a little bit for everyone, hopefully. Sure didn't intend for this chapter to be as long as it ended up being, but I couldn't find a place to split it up without feeling unsatisfied (because even cliff-hangers have a semblance of satisfaction in their own teasing way)

Snow Records was surprisingly unassuming; it barely registered against the LA skyline, surrounded by ostentatious highrise apartments and garish skyscrapers. It was a total facade though, because the inside was the epitome of everything haughty. Katniss hated the building and it's hypocrisy. Her stomach churned as she pushed into the lobby.

The waiting room was colossal and didn't look like it could possibly fit in the building. The area was blindingly white, from the walls down to the carpet. She was surprised employees weren't required to take off their shoes so as not to leave any speck of dirt on the perfect floors and pitied whosoever job it was to clean the floors every night.

She quickly moved past the receptionist desk down the hallway that leads to the elevator. She once asked the receptionists how they managed to work in such an environment. "The handbook says not to complain. So I guess I just learned to deal with it," was all she got as a response.

Each series of floors in the building served a different purpose, the first thirty or forty were full of offices she had never seen full of workers she had never met; then came the PR floors, the managers' floors, and the agents' floors. The top floor belonged entirely to Coriolanus Snow.

Katniss used to wonder if he was a real person, having never seen him in person before. His portrait hung on every wall so she knew he was a small, thin, old man with lips that looked like they had been injected one too many times for his own good. If she could get past the lips, she supposed he would look like a grandfather. If it weren't for his eyes. They were dark and cold and the complete opposite of what she'd assume someone would want in their portrait. She had never met him but his painting made her assume that Coriolanus Snow was a man she never wanted to cross.

When she reached the studio floor, she turned her attention to the walls, as she always did. They were white, like the ones on the ground level, with the exception of the intricate patterns of red dots that appeared to be cascading down from the ceiling; tiny rose petals. She walked down the hall to the studio; more and more "petals" seemed to fall from the ceiling onto the carpet. The entire hallway was transitioning from white to red, as though someone was pouring petals from the floor above. She chose to think about it that way as opposed to how Johanna described it- like blood dripping from Snow's office.

Katniss was relieved to finally push through the studio doors, finding Haymitch and Peeta hovered over a sound board deep in concentration. She tried not to focus on the way Peeta's tongue laid across his bottom lip or how his eyebrows were scrunched or how intensely bright his eyes were, even from the side. She had to draw her attention away or the emotion of her actions yesterday would override the reasoning behind it.

"Knock knock," she announced her presence.

"Katniss," Haymitch greeted her. "You remember Beetee, don't you?"

The small man at the soundboard turned to her. "Ah, yes, Miss Everdeen. How are you?" He pushed his wire-rimmed glasses up his nose.

She had only met Beetee once or twice in the past but knew his voice well. During recordings, only two people were ever allowed to interrupt – Haymitch and Beetee. "So what do you have for me?"

"This is going to be a little different than what you're used to," Beetee said, turning back to the soundboard. He started pressing buttons and turning dials up and down. "We've already recorded all the music, so we'll have you listen to the melody a few times to get a feel for it then you'll go into the booth," he nodded his head toward the large glass window in front of him, "and record your part." He pressed another few buttons and the studio was filled with a very simple piano piece. She closed her eyes and let the music wash over her, letting the crescendos build until the song became an unstoppable force.

When the piece stopped, Beetee reached over to switch a flip. "What do you think?"

"I think it's great," she told him. "It just..."

"Just what?"

She bit her lower lip as she considered how to tell him her thoughts. "It just seems...simple. I'm surprised Snow would allow me to release that as my single."

She was caught off guard when the three men in the room began chuckling.

"What is so funny?" She demanded, annoyed that somehow they all were in on something that was obviously at her expense.

"That's not the entire composition, Katniss. That's just how your part will go," Peeta explained, speaking for the first time since she entered.

"Yes," Beetee continued, "that's what you'll hear when you're singing. We thought it was best not to overwhelm you on your first recording. When you're done, we'll combine your voice with the finalized music. You can hear the entire thing then, if you'd like."

"Think you can figure out the basics of how this works?" Haymitch asked, handing her a pair of headphones. He led her through a side door into a small booth that only had a microphone, music stand, and short stool if she needed one. "You'll hear the music in the headphones and then you'll just sing along. Beetee will count you down for your entrances. If you hear my voice, stop, and we'll start again."

She slipped the headphones over her ears, leaving her completely deaf to the outside world. The door clicked as he exited the booth and she looked over the lyrics again. The words on the page began to scramble and she felt the walls of the booth close in around her.

A soft buzz filled her head, then Beetee's voice. "Three, two," *click click click*. The piano began playing again and but as she stared at the paper in front of her, it may as well have been written in Chinese. A few bars of the music played before everything went dead again. She gripped the edges of the music stand until her knuckles turned white.

"Katniss?" Haymitch's voice filled her head through her headphones.

"I'm...I'm fine." She lied, shaking her head.

She heard him exhale loudly. "Did you learn the lyrics like I told you to?" There was the Haymitch she was used to with his patronizing voice.

"No," she admitted, her cheeks burning. She couldn't tell him that right after he left she called Cato, then spent the rest of the night attempting to dissect her new life and where everyone fit into it. She didn't know how he would respond to her actions – though she suspected he'd understand, and potentially applaud the ingeniousness of theact, if he knew she was doing whatever she could to protect her family.

Katniss knew what happened to children raised in the spotlight. Before Prim was born, when her mother was still working as a nurse, she would sometimes go into LA with her father and be left at a private day care. There were a few other celebrities' kids there and one in particular always stuck in Katniss' memory, Glimmer Morris. Her mother, Cashmere, was a big movie star and Glimmer had been in the public eye from the moment she was conceived. Everything about her life was documented and scrutinized, from her baby fat to her boyfriends to her ultimate fall from grace as 'public darling'. She literally grew up with no privacy and no chance at being anything other than 'Cashmere's daughter.' When Glimmer was 20, she did an interview with Caesar Flickerman, following a highly publicized mental break down and she cited the constant pressure to be perfect and camera ready as being overwhelming. She had panic attacks constantly and began to self-medicate just to feel like a normal person. Katniss watched in shock as the beautiful, charming girl she grew up with became the poster child of self-destructive behavior. She was 22 when her body was found in her apartment, overdosed on pain meds with a blood-alcohol level three times the legal limit. The finale image Katniss had of Glimmer was when her bloated body was being covered in the coroner's sheet, her emerald eyes empty. Katniss didn't go to the funeral.

Glimmer was a smart, ambitious girl who excelled in high school and talked about wanting to be a civil defense attorney; she was so much like Prim and her desire to be a surgeon. Katniss refused to take away her sister's chance like Glimmer's was.

"Take a deep breath, Katniss," Peeta's voice replaced Haymitch's. "You can do this."

"You sure about that?" she laughed into the empty room. "This is kind of a new experience for me."

"I'm sure. Just be that sixteen year old girl again." She pictured him smiling through the glass window as he said this. She also imagined Haymitch rolling his eyes and holding back a smirk.

"How much time do you need, Sweetheart?"

She shook her head. "Just give me a few minutes." As she actually looked over what Peeta had written, she had to admit that they were beautifully written, more poem than pop. "Peeta?" she called into the microphone.

"Yes?"

"What's this song about?" She hoped that maybe getting him to talk about the song would help her feel more comfortable with it.

She was nervous when he didn't respond right away. Had she missed something major about them – something that everyone else picked up on that she was too dense to catch? "It's about...letting go of the past, of things that are holding you back so you can be your best." His voice was quiet, nervous, almost, as though he wasn't sure how to answer.

She wondered if there was more to the story than he was letting on, but didn't push him when Haymitch spoke up. "Tell your own story in it, Katniss. It's not going to matter what Peeta meant if you're the face of it. No offense, Kid."

She heard Peeta laugh. "He's right, Katniss. It's only going to be believable if you make it so."

_Regrets collect like old friends Here to relieve your darkest moment_

"Alright. I'm ready." she inhaled deeply. Looking over the words, she couldn't help but wonder where this song came from in Peeta's mind. It shook her how applicable it was to her life but there was no way he had enough time to write lyrics like this. Especially since Haymitch said Peeta dropped them off two days ago. He must have had them in that extensive portfolio Haymitch mentioned yesterday and she just was projecting herself onto the lyrics. That's what they both just told her to do so she accepted it.

"Well goody," Haymitch responded. "Count her in, Beetee."

"Three, two" *click click click*

As the music started, she concentrated on the lyrics in front of her and it was as though all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

_Regrets collect like old friends_

_Here to relive your darkest moment_

_I can see no way, I can see no way_

_And all of the ghouls come out to play_

_And every demon wants his pound of flesh_

_But I like to keep some things to myself_

_I like to keep my issues drawn_

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

_And I've been a fool and I've been blind_

_I can never leave the past behind_

_I can see no way, I can see no way_

_I'm always dragging that horse around_

_Our love is questioned, such a mournful sound_

_Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground_

_So I like to keep my issues drawn_

_But it's always darkest before the dawn_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh whoa_

As she released the last note of the song, a feeling of release washed over her. She knew she'd have to rerecord certain sections of the song, places where she heard her voice crack or where she hesitated half a second to hit a particular note, but she felt quite pleased with herself that she got through an entire take without Haymitch or Beetee stopping her. When it was all finished, Haymitch called her back into the studio they were in.

Beetee was a wiz when it came to technology, so when he announced that he cut everything together and mixed the backing sections to fit Katniss' latest recording, she was hardly surprised. What did surprise her was how ethereal the final, albeit rough, copy was. She had no idea just how intense the music would be, how the pounding drums, organ chords, and backup singers added to the natural, yet otherworldly, sound. She closed her eyes as the song played.

_I am done with my graceless heart_

_So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart_

_'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn_

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

_(Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa)_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh whoa_

_And it's hard to dance (shake it off) with a devil on your back (shake it off)_

_And given half the chance would I take any of it back (shake it off)_

_It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone (shake it off)(shake it off)_

_It's always darkest before the dawn(Oh whoa, oh whoa)_

_And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't_

_So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road_

_And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope_

_It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat_

_'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me (oh whoa)_

_Looking for heaven, found the devil in me (oh whoa)_

_Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah_

_(Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa)_

_(Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa)_

_(And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back)_

_(So shake him off, oh whoa)_

_(Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa)_

_(Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa)_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh whoa Ooh..._

The room was silent as the last note faded out, as though any noise would break the magic of the moment. She felt everyone's eyes on her but she kept hers closed, soaking everything in.

Beetee spoke first. "As far as I could tell, your job is complete, Miss Everdeen."

"Katniss," she corrected him out of habit. She finally opened her eyes and took in the room. "I, I," she glanced at Peeta, who was watching her with an expectant look on his face, "I thought it was perfect, every bit of it."

"There are, of course, still some alterations to be made with the mixing," Beete explained, more to himself and potentially Haymitch than her.

"That means it's a wrap for you today, Sweetheart. I'll let you know if we need anything tomorrow. You too, Kid."

They both nodded. Once outside the studio, Peeta cleared his throat. "Um, so..."

She smirked. For someone who could write poetry the way he could and play up a room with ease it amused her at how shaky he could be when it was just the two of them. "Yes?"

"I, uh, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get dinner?"

"Dinner?"

"Yea, well, it is almost six. And I don't know about you but I haven't really eaten much today."

As if on cue, her stomach grumbled. "I believe the boss has spoken," she answered. "Have you ever been to The Cornucopia? It's a pretty casual place in the middle of the week." She pulled out her cell phone and sent a text to Cato, wondering if she'd given him enough time to get there. _Cornucopia. 6:30._

* * *

"And how was your first experience in a studio?" Katniss asked once they were served their drinks.

He took a long swallow of his beer. "It was unbelievable! Definitely a change from my usual day-to-day routine."

She sincerely laughed at his exuberance. "It helps to have a great support team."

"And a beautiful, breathtaking singer," he added. "Oh." His smile immediately fell and he buried his reddening cheeks in his hands. "I'm sorry. That was, I didn't mean to just spit that out."

She reached across and placed her hands over his. "It's ok, Peeta."

He separated his fingers and his crystal blue eyes peeked out from them. "Sometimes I just say things without thinking. It's gotten me in trouble more than once." His hands fell to the table and he smiled again. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Only awkward friends say things like that to each other, don't they?"

"Not usually, no," she answered with a laugh. "If it helps, though, I wouldn't have known how to accept that compliment and would have been just as awkward back."

He reached his hand to cover hers and smiled when a flash caught his eye. He snapped his head to the sidewalk just in time to see a handful of photographers perched outside the fence that separated the boundary of the restaurant. He groaned. "Why am I not surprised?"

She followed his gaze, doing a quick scan of the group. Turning back to him, she rolled her eyes. "Comes with the territory, unfortunately. You just have to ignore them."

"These people are disgusting, acting like they have to right to invade your privacy at any cost," he spat, his mind filled with the tabloid section of The Capitol he had been forced to deal with for years.

"I'm a little surprised at your disdain for them, to be honest, given that you've never really had them invade your personal life before."

He shrugged, though his face still remained angry. "Just because you're a singer doesn't mean everyone needs to know everything about you. Like a celebrity status automatically means you give up your rights as a human being. I don't get how people can care so much but at the same time not care, you know?"

"There's not really much we can do about it, unless you want to just call it a night."

Peeta thought it over when an idea hit him. Taking a shaky breath, he made his suggestion. "What about my apartment? It wouldn't be 'dinner at the Cornucopia' but we could just order some takeout and actually talk without having to pretend to ignore anyone." His face was hopeful, both to get away from the cameras and to spend more time with Katniss.

She felt a familiar tug on her lips. "That may be the best suggestion I've heard all day." She reached into her purse and threw a $20 on the table. When Peeta started to object she put her hand up. "You can buy me dinner."

"Deal." Offering her his hand, they both stood from the table and made their way to the gated entrance. Katniss saw that the scowl on his face was replaced by a smile so effortless she nearly questioned whether his dislike for the paparazzi was genuine or just a ploy for more attention from them. Surely he knew that darting out from dinner would cause a bigger frenzy than if they just stayed at the café. Maybe that was his plan all along, maybe he was playing the game just as much as she was and maybe she'd be able to explain the Cato arrangement without him viewing her as disgusting.

"It's really nothing fancy," Peeta appologized as he opened the door to his apartment. He flipped on the light and Katniss let out a soft gasp. The entire apartment was a soft array of oranges, yellows, and reds, giving it the appearance of a setting sun. The walls were adorned with painting and photographs, ranging from portraits and landscapes to abstract pieces, including a few with accompanying award plaques. The living room was spacious and bright with large windows taking up almost the entire wall.

"Did you do all of these?" She asked, moving from painting to painting, so close her nose nearly brushed the oil.

"Most of them, yeah," he answered sheepishly. "I kind of dabbled in art in college."

"Dabbled?" she asked, mystified. "Dabbling in art is what I did in junior high when I could only draw stick figures. These are really good, Peeta. And the photographs? Are those yours too?"

He laughed. "Delly and I took an amateur photography class at the community center one year." He watched her as she made her way around the living room, carefully inspecting each piece of art, her lips moving as she silently read the titles out loud.

The front door buzzed, signaling that the food they ordered on the ride over had arrived. "Katniss, I'm going to go get that. Feel free to make yourself at home."

When he got back upstairs, she wasn't in the living room anymore. "Katniss?" he called, but didn't hear her respond. He set the food on the coffee table and ventured through the two-bedroom apartment. He found her in his all but abandoned office space, staring intently at a canvas she held in her hand. It was a mosaic-style painted portrait of people who resembled Peeta so much that she assumed they must be his family. The biggest man looked like a fully grown version of Peeta and the two had the same shade of golden hair and sparkling blue eyes. The other two boys, both slightly older than Peeta, had more beige-colored hair and darker eyes, but all four had the same smiles and build. There was a single woman in the painting with dirty blond hair pulled tight in a bun and muted eyes that stared back. She was also smiling, but it sent chills down Katniss' spine; thoughts of the portraits of Snow at the office flashed in her head and she wondered what evil secrets this woman held.

"What is this?" She asked as he stepped beside her.

"It was part of my thesis project for the fine arts department. That's my dad, my two older brothers, and me" he pointed to the men.

"Is this your mom?" Katniss asked, focusing on the woman.

"My mother, yes," Peeta answered stiffly. Those three words seemt o pull all the warmth out of the room. "Our topic that year was 'Tales from Our Past – Stories of Our Future' so we had to create pieces that exemplified how both interacted with one another."

"Why didn't you write something? It seems like that would be the best medium for you."

He turned the canvas over. Lines of a poem painted in half-cursive half-print that filled the back.

_Love writes a letter and sends it to hate. My vacations ending. I'm coming home late._

_The weather was fine and the ocean was great and I can't wait to see you again._

_Hate reads the letter and throws it away. "No one here cares if you go or you stay._

_I barely even noticed that you were away. I'll see you or I won't, whatever."_

_Love sings a song as she sails through the sky. The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes._

_And everyone knows it whenever she flies, and also when she comes down._

_Hate keeps his head up and walks through the street. Every stranger and drifter he greets._

_And shakes hands with every loner he meets with a serious look on his face._

_Love arrives safely with suitcase in tow. Carrying with her the good things we know._

_A reason to live and a reason to grow. To trust. To hope. To care._

_Hate sits alone on the hood of his car. Without much regard to the moon or the stars._

_Lazily killing the last of a jar of the strongest stuff you can drink._

_Love takes a taxi, a young man drives. As soon as he sees her, hope fills his eyes._

_But tears follow after, at the end of the ride, cause he might never see her again._

_Hate gets home lucky to still be alive. He screams o'er the sidewalk and into the drive._

_The clock in the kitchen says 2:55,And the clock in the kitchen is slow._

_Love has been waiting, patient and kind. Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign,_

_That the one that she cares for, who's out of his mind, Will make it back safe to her arms._

_Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door. Weary head hung, eyes to the floor._

_He says "Love, I'm sorry", and she says, "What for? I'm your and that's it, Whatever._

_I should not have been gone for so long. I'm yours and that's it, forever."_

_You're mine and that's it, forever._

When she finished reading it, he turned it back over. "If you look, the words are written in the painting." He points to the lips of himself. "Right here is _Love sings a song as she sails through the sky._ And then here," pointing to his father's arm where _As soon as he sees her, hope fills his eyes. But tears follow after, at the end of the ride_ appear to be woven into the wrinkles of his shirt.

She studied the painting; search out other sections in different parts, trying not to point out that nearly every line of hate, save for the last stanza, was in his mother. The last line, _I'm yours and that's it, forever. You're mine and that's it, forever,_ was painted right at Peeta's heart.

"Come on," he said, nudging her with his elbow, "food's getting cold." She wanted to keep staring at the painting; the most personal thing of his she had experienced so far. Yet the sudden change in tone of his voice when he talked about his mother plus the fact that she only found it after moving other canvases in an unused room convinced her she should leave it be for now. Maybe she'd find a time to ask more about it later.

As she entered the living room, she found Peeta lounging on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table, digging his chopsticks into the box of Shrimp Mei Fun. "Hey!" She exclaimed, knocking his feet out of the way. "That was mine!" She tried to swipe the box from his hand but he lifted his arms, causing her to lose balance and fall into his lap.

"You want some?" He asked, holding his chopsticks in front of her face. As she leaned her face toward them, he snapped his hand back and ate them himself with a shit-eating grin on his face. She smacked his chest.

"Jerk." She stuck her tongue out at him as he handed her the box and she slid off his lap onto the other side of the couch. She made a show of stuffing as much of the food in her mouth as possible. "Mmmm"

Peeta rolled his eyes and opened another box of food. "You really are hungry, aren't you? Guess that's what happens when you spend two days in bed."

She swallowed and stared at him. "How do you know about that?"

"Haymitch told me. I got concerned when Effie sent out the memo about you were taking some time to yourself and wasn't going to answer any calls. I'm pretty sure I followed Haymitch around all day asking about you before he finally relented. Two days, Katniss?"

She sighed and set her box down. "For about a week after my father died, I rarely got out of bed and as basically a zombie when I did. My mom was physically absent, taking longer shifts at the hospital just so she didn't have to be home with us, even though we moved halfway across the country but I was mentally absent. When I finally snapped to my senses, it had been like two months, and my sister begged me to go see someone. The therapist told me I had pretty severe depression and had gone into a form of shock. He said shutting down appeared to be my body's natural defense against stress. So now when things get to be too much, I revert back. A lot of times it just needs to run its course. And it helps that Haymitch has no concept of personal space; lately he's been the one who forces me out of my funks."

"I'm sorry," Peeta says after a few minutes.

"For what?"

"For bringing up your dad that night. That's what caused all of that, right?" His eyes latched onto hers.

"Yes. It's, it's hard to talk about him," she answered. It wasn't a complete lie, she told herself, it really was difficult to talk about her father's death and her role in it. But if he didn't suspect that the breakdown had anything to do with Gale and Leevy then she wasn't going to tell him. She stared at the food container for a few minutes until Peeta cleared his throat.

"Right. Well now that we've gone through the depressing stage of the night." Katniss peered at him out of the corner of his eye and he was smiling again, picking through his food. She smirked and dipped her chopsticks into his box. "You tool," he said, mimicking her pout and flinging his chopstick at her. She gave a little shriek as bits of sauce hit her but that quickly dissolved into laughter as she wiped her face. "Oh, you missed a spot," he said, reaching toward her to clear away a bit of rice. They froze there, his hand cupping her face, thumb slowly caressing her cheek bone.

Peeta's tongue flicked out unconsciously and Katniss watched it trail along his lips. That feeling was back, the one from the night of the party where the world felt like it was completely stopped and it was just the two of them. "Peeta," she breathed.

"You don't understand the effect you have on me, Katniss," he whispered, his other hand brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

His movements were slow and deliberate, which excited but frustrated her. She craved his touch, she needed more of him. She took matters into her own hands and kissed him. His hands moved into her hair, holding onto her as though she may disappear if he let her go.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. "Katniss, we can't...we can't do this. Not if we're going to be friends."

She felt a surge of anger shoot through her body. First Gale and now Peeta was rejecting her? She shoved away from him and crossed her arms. "Right." He tried to reach for her and she pulled her shoulder away. "I should probably go. It's getting late." She stood from the couch and grabbed the empty boxes and threw them in the trash. "Thanks for dinner."

"Katniss," he called after her.

"No, Peeta. Just, just leave me alone." She slammed the door behind her and made her way down the stairs to where her driver was still waiting for her, fuming the entire time.

* * *

She smiled for the mob of cameras that were still outside her hotel as she came home.

"When can we expect a single from you?" A reporter shouted out.

"Hopefully soon," she answered with a laugh. "Whenever Snow Records says is when you'll get it. Now, if you will all excuse me, I've got to head inside. Have a nice night, guys." She waved as she entered the hotel. As she made her way up to her room, she kept replaying what had happened with Peeta. She was hurt when he pulled away but it was her suggestion originally to stay friends. Though that was before she found out how much his presence helped her likeability. But he didn't realize the importance of them appearing as a couple together, so had he really done anything more than what she asked of him? Damnit it was hard to stay mad at him when he really wasn't doing anything wrong in this situation.

She didn't see the hunched body sitting by her hotel door until she tripped over it. "What the fuck?"

"Katniss." The body rose to a standing position and she felt her shoulders sink.

"Peeta! What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "Told you I was persistent even when things are challenging."

She may not have been angry but she was still hurt. She scowled. "How did you get up here before me?"

"I know some shortcuts. Look, I'm, I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't mean to push you, again. Seems like that's all I do around you anymore. I just, I just find it hard to control myself when you're near me. All I want to do is hold you or touch you or kiss you. But you're not ready so I'll just have to live with that." He ran his hand through his hair and shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I just don't want to screw this up. Whatever 'this' is for us."

It really was hard to stay mad at him. She knew this could be a disaster but for the night, she didn't care. "Peeta." She rose to her tiptoes and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss.

"Katniss, this isn't something friends do," he reminded her as they pulled apart.

"I know." She unlocked the door to let him in. "And I don't care." He backed her into her room, kicking the door closed, their lips only breaking apart so Peeta could kiss Katniss' neck or so they could pull each others' shirts over over their heads. She trailed her fingers down his chest, looping her fingers along the waistband of his jeans and pulling him down onto the bed they just reached.

He lifted himself onto his elbow and traced down the contours of her body with light touches and kisses. "Have I told you how beautiful you are? Because. You. Are. So. Beautiful." He punctuated each word with a subsequent kiss further down her body. He reached her shorts and with a sparkle in his eye, unbuttoned and unzipped them with his teeth.

"What are you doing?" She asked breathlessly.

One one swift move he pulled them off and began planting wet kisses on the inside of her thighs, closer and closer to her center. She squirmed against him as he exhaled warm air against her.

"Peeta," her hands paused his movements. "You don't have to do this."

"I know," he murmured against her. She let out a small whine and clamped her legs together. He raised his head, resting his chin on her stomach. "You've had this done before, though, right?" When she flushed he pulled his whole body up against hers. "Really? Never?"

She shook her head. Gale never wanted to do it, saying she would have a better orgasm through sex rather than anything else. And her other few sexual partners were too caught up in making sure they got off to even imagine doing that for her.

"Relax," he instructed, resuming his kisses down her stomach, dipping his tongue into her belly button. This elicited a small squeak from her. "Do you trust me?"

She nodded, unable to tear her eyes away from his mouth.

He lifted her hips and slid her underwear off her hips. "Relax," he repeated into her core. She shuddered as his breath hit her and she nearly bucked off the bed when his tongue flicked at her bud. His hands held her hips still as he licked and tasted her. She attempted to thrust her hips against his mouth, wanting him deeper. It was a feeling unlike anything she ever experienced before. He lifted her hips and placed her legs on his shoulders. The new angle made her cry out and her hands instantly tangled in his blond curls. It didn't take long for her body to completely succumb to his efforts and she clenched her thighs around his head as her body shook. When she released him, he crawled back up to her and kissed her forehead.

"Good?" he asked. She expected him to be cocky about, but his voice had a hint of nervousness.

Her fingers began working their way through his hair again as he rested against her chest. "So good."

He lifted his head onto his hand and smiled at her. "Good."

She laughed sweetly as he rested his head against her chest and her fingers played with his hair again. "But what about you? This is twice now that you've done stuff for me. Let me make it up to you."

"I didn't do those to have you make them up to me, Katniss. I did them because I like making you feel good. And I love those noises you make," he added, kissing the valley between her breasts.

She pushed him so he rolled onto his back. "Maybe I want to make you feel good, too," she responded in a sultry voice. He cocked an eyebrow and she rolled on top of him, making quick work of his jeans and boxers. "Katniss," he whined, his voice husky as she teased her hips against him. As she lowered herself around him she let out a slight hiss. They had slept together before and she knew the details were fuzzy but she didn't understand how she didn't remember how well he filled her up, how she felt herself stretch to accommodate him, how complete he could make her feel. She rode him, slowly at first, but when his thumb found its way to her bundle of nerves, her brain seemed to shut down and she allowed her body to take control, using his sounds to guide her movements.

"Katniss," he growled, holding her hips still. "I'm gonna…"

"Not yet," she whispered into his ear, causing him to groan. She gripped his thighs and leaned her body backward slightly.

"Fuck, Katniss!"

She nearly came undone, she had never heard Peeta swear before; last time, from what she remembered, she was moaning obscenities that he was more than happy to oblige. But hearing that word in that voice while she was controlling the pace was more than she could handle. It didn't take long in this altered position before she felt the familiar warmness begin to run through her.

"Peeta," she panted, pulling her body against his. She buried her head in his neck, his inherently sweet scent was combined with a masculine sweat only added to her building arousal. "Peeta!" she cried out, her body shuttering around him.

He took over, thrusting deeply into her a few more times before tightening his grip on her hips. "Katniss...I..."

"Yes," she moaned into his ear, sucking the lob as she felt him spasm slightly then exhale loudly. She let her body collapse against his, both of them desperately trying to catch their breath. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her even tighter against him.

"So...I don't think I can go back to just being friends with you Katniss Everdeen."

She smiled and nuzzled her head into his neck. "I have enough friends." When they finally disentangled themselves, they curled next to each other, sneaking soft, playful kisses. "Thank you," she whispered into one.

He pulled away. "For what?"

"For dinner." Kiss. "For being persistent." Kiss. "For being concerned about me." Kiss. "For the beautiful song." Kiss.

"You're welcome." Kiss. "You're welcome." Kiss. "You're welcome." Kiss. "You're welcome." Kiss. "You made it beautiful, Katniss. You and that voice."

"Please," she said, pressing herself as close to him as she could and closing her eyes. "You gave me a lot to work with, Mister Mellark."

He kissed the top of her head. "So did you," he whispered into her hair. Whether she heard him or not he didn't know, but it was true and that was all he cared about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a little fluffier because those two need a break again. But be prepared because the chapter after will be another big step for them. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> "Shake it Out" was written by Florence Welch and Paul Epworth and was, obviously, performed by Florence + the Machine. Every time I listen to a Florence + the Machine song, I can't help but think that she should have had a song on the HG soundtrack.
> 
> "The Ballad of Love and Hate" was written and performed by the Avett Brothers (Seth and Scott Avett).


	11. Layla

Katniss woke up and turned to where he had been sleeping. She ran her hand along the sheets; they were still warm so Peeta couldn't have left too long ago. She huffed, 'at least he had the decency to stay longer before he just deserted you this time.'

_"Why can't you stay?" She sat up, not bothering to wrap the sheets around her naked body._

_"You know why."_

_"A few more hours won't kill you." She reached for his wrist and pulled him to the edge of the bed._

_"If I stay for a few more hours I won't leave."_

_Katniss ran her fingers over his still exposed midsection down to the waistband of his briefs met his skin. She looked up at him with a wicked smile. "So?"_

_He glared at her and pulled away. "I'm having dinner with her sister and brother-in-law. I've bailed on them twice now and I don't need that witch filling her head with anymore talk of divorce."_

_Her face hardened. "No, we couldn't have that could we?" she rolled her eyes, laying back down and turning away from him. "Send my best to the little woman, won't you?"_

_Gale sighed. "You're being incredibly selfish right now, Catnip. You act like I really have a choice in this whole thing."_

_"You're right, you don't really have a choice. Just fucking leave, Gale!"_

_"Why do you always do this?" He let out a frustrated groan as he pulled his shirt over his head._

_"Maybe if you didn't treat me like your whore then I wouldn't act like one," she spat back. When Gale didn't he didn't respond, she turned over. He was standing still, holding a shoe in a hand. "You got what you wanted so unless you're planning on screwing me again, get out." She felt her body shake with anger so when he slipped his shoe on and slammed the door shut behind him, she screamed and threw the only solid item she could find after him. As the lamp shattered against the wall, she collapsed into the pillow and sobbed as she realized her words held more truth than she wanted to admit._

"Katniss?"

She sat up suddenly. "Peeta?"

He walked into her room wearing only his boxers. "You're finally up. Hungry?" he asked with a smile. She hadn't seen the plate in his hand until he held it out to her. On it were bite-sized pastries that smelled like apples and cinnamon. She snatched one off the plate and stuffed it into her mouth in one movement. His eyes bugged out. "Be careful, that's -"

"Really fucking hot!" She cried, her hands shaking violently in front of her mouth.

"Sorry," he grinned sheepishly, "I heard you rustling so I pulled some out of the oven for you. I should have warned you sooner."

"Oven?" She asked, still attempting to cool her mouth but grabbing another off the plate. "You made these?"

He nodded. "I'm kind of an early riser and I didn't want to just…leave…again," he answered, his cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment. "How are they, now that you can actually taste them?"

She stuck her tongue out at him but popped the pastry into her mouth. "Ohhh."

"I'll take that as you like them?"

She nodded enthusiastically and took the entire plate from him. "These are for me?"

"I also bagged some and put them in the freezer with instructions on how to reheat them," he answered, trying to stifle a laugh at the visual of Katniss huddled on her bed, surrounded by a sheet, clutching the plate of food so close to her body like a squirrel protecting its acorns. When he told her that, she glared at him, her mouth stuffed with food, and he laughed harder.

"So you're leaving?" she asked, absentmindedly licking the glaze from the pastries off her fingers.

"Not if you keep doing that," he answered in a low voice.

She smiled and suggestively continued, moaning softly in the process, though she was having trouble keeping a straight face. "What ever could you mean, Mister Mellark?" She asked in the most innocent voice she could muster.

He leaned over, his lips right next to her ear. "You'll be the death of me, woman." And without warning, took one of her fingers in his mouth, devouring the glaze himself, his tongue playing along the length of her digit. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and her eyes dark. "Tease," he said with a wink as he released her finger with a pop. Her laughter stopped when he sat on the edge of the bed and slipped his shoes on.

"You're leaving? Why?"

"I didn't really plan for a sleep over when I decided to follow you last night," he answered with a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

"So?"

"So unless you think it's proper for me to wear the same clothes I was in all day yesterday, I'll need to go home at some point." He reached for the now empty plate.

She felt her stomach tighten. "We can get you new clothes."

"Katniss, don't be ridiculous," he said with a smile still on his lips.

"I'm not ridiculous!"

"Katniss."

She frowned. "Fine. If you want to leave then leave." The playful flirt had been instantly replaced by a temperamental woman.

He set his jaw and stared her down, searching for any sign of her to waver slightly. But she had plenty of practice at keeping her face solid for as long as it took. Peeta sighed and walked the plate out to the kitchen.

Katniss fell back into bed and covered her head with the sheet. She just couldn't get away from these guys. Maybe it'd be easier this way. She could keep up her end of the deal without letting him fluster her if he was always this quick to scare off. Part of her was glad that one burden had been lifted but she couldn't ignore the dull ache in her chest at the thought.

"You're a real pain in the ass sometimes, you know that?" She felt the bed sink slightly and the sheet shift. He traced the planes of her back with his fingertips, watching the goosebumps form. "Why don't you want me to leave?"

How was she supposed to tell him that while she was accustomed to waking up alone, it still felt like a knife to her chest. That it was just one more person abandoning her; her father dying, her mother pouring herself into work, Gale, they all left her in one way or another.

His fingers were replaced by soft, gentle lips. "Katniss. Why don't you want me to go home?" he repeated.

She remained silent but pushed her body into his, grabbing his hand with hers and pulling it close to her body. He let out a frustrated sigh but held her tightly until they both fell back asleep, comforted by their warm bodies and steady breaths.

When he eventually felt her stir against him, his eyes flashed open. "Katniss?"

She let out a content sigh. "Peeta? You're still here." It wasn't a question so much as a statement of disbelief.

"I'm still here." He kissed her temple. She had frustrated him with how hot and cold she was but he didn't have the resolve to leave her when she was obviously upset.

"Do you have to go home?" Her voice was quiet, not defiant like earlier in the morning.

"I do. But I'll come back whenever you ask me to."

Peeta didn't come back that night or the next, but on the third day he showed up at her hotel with two large bags of food.

"Nice shirt," he laughed, when she opened the door in only an oversized t-shirt and hair that suggested she had just gotten out up. He set the food down on a counter.

Closing the door behind him, she shrugged one shoulder. "Thanks. Think Cinna would let me wear this for my photo shoot?"

"I doubt it highly. Something tells me Cinna doesn't want to be associate with a starlet who can't keep her pants on in public," he answered, lifting up the hem of the shirt. "Though I don't think I'd complain."

She flushed and smacked his hand away. "You perv."

"You're the one prancing around in clothing that barely covers your sensitivities, Miss Everdeen."

"It's my suite, Mister Mellark," she smirked. "And if you don't like it then you can go back home."

He licked his lips as his hands returned to the hem and lifted it higher. "Believe me; I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon."

She laughed loudly as he scooped her up and carried her to her bed. She pulled her t-shirt over her head and his lips immediately began working their way down her skin. Katniss attempted to pull his clothes off with little success.

"Peeta," Katniss whined. He paused long enough to allow her to remove his shirt before continuing back down her body, pulling her panties off in the process. She let out a squeak when his tongue swiped at her center. She lifted her hips against him and when his nose brushed against her the squeak became a cry. He slipped a finger into her, the rhythm of his hand matching the pace of his tongue along her. She bucked her hips intently, wanting to keep up with him. "Peeta, please."

Without stopping, he looked up at her. Seeing his blond hair and blue eyes peaking up from between her legs made her lose control. Her head flew back onto her pillow and she clenched her thighs as her orgasm rippled through her. She reached down and gave a slight tug on his curls.

He rolled off to the side and pulled her next to him, kissing her neck and shoulder. "I think you planned that, Miss Everdeen," he said, doing his best Caesar Flickerman impression

"Whatever are you talking about?" She asked in her own mimicking voice. She kissed his nose quickly and settled into his chest. "I'm glad you came today."

"As if I had a choice."

" _You act like I have a choice in this."_

"When Katniss Everdeen tells me she ran out of food, I knew I'd have to rectify that. What kind of a monster would I be if I left a poor girl alone in her room to starve?"

She looked at him, the way his eyes sparkled when he smiled at her, how sincere his words were, despite mocking her '911 out of pastries' text. She honestly didn't know if she believed him when he said he'd come back whenever she asked him to. But when he showed up outside her room, she realized how glad she really was when he kept his promise.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked. He ran this thumb over her cheek. "You ok?"

She nodded, turning his wrist over and kissing it. "More than."

The next few weeks passed in a blur to Katniss. A few updates from Haymitch told her that her single had made it through the first round of approval and it was only a matter of time before Snow made his final decision. "First one is the hardest, Sweetheart," he reminded her. She found ways to keep herself busy when Peeta wasn't around; he told her he was too accustomed to working set hours so he would hole himself up in his apartment for the majority of the day writing.

Every few days she could guilt him into taking the afternoon off and they'd go for hikes on secluded trails or just sit and talk on one of the covered hills in the park. He seemed to know the best way to get places without being caught; sneaking out the back entrance of the hotel, having her driver take detours that no one would think to take.

_"I wish we could have a real dinner. Like, not in one of our apartments or on a tour bus."_

_"Don't be stupid, Catnip. You know we can't do that. Not alone. Just be glad we get this."_

When Katniss questioned Peeta's secrecy, he shrugged. "You deserve to have some semblance of normalcy." Then he would smile and the guilt she felt about having just texted Cato her whereabouts reared its ugly head.

"Want to have dinner at my place tomorrow night?," he casually asked as they lay on the grassy hill in the park that had unofficially become 'their place.'

Katniss had been running her fingers through his curls, smiling every time he'd sigh softly. "Are we going to order from that one place? Because that was probably the best I've ever had."

He laughed. "That one place?"

"Yea, you know, the stuff we had last week with the sauce that I liked?" His laughter grew and she pulled slightly on a strand of his hair. "What? You know the place I'm talking about, right?"

He strained his neck to look up at her with a wide grin. "Yea, the place with the sauce."

She pulled again.

"I thought maybe I'd cook for you instead. Something special."

"Cooking something special? Sounds like a date."

He shrugged. "It could be. If that's what you wanted."

Katniss paused, thinking it over. They had crossed the 'friend' line that night a few weeks ago and it was of the utmost importance that they appear like a couple together for the press, but what were they actually? Katniss had feelings for Peeta, but she could hardly make any sense of them, let alone explain them to him to figure anything out. Plus, there was always Gale to consider. Still. Gale, the married man who seemed to put her second shouldn't, rationally, figure into this equation. But what about love was rational? And he was her first love. Gale, who promised her that when the timing was right would forever leave Leevy and be with the woman he truly wanted to be with.

_"Not yet, Catnip," he said under the cover of darkness somewhere between Japan and Australia, wrapping his strong arms around her. "But someday soon, it's just going to be you and me. When I can divorce her without dragging you into it, I will. You're mine, baby, and I'm yours." He repeated this every night._

The memories of Gale didn't belong with her thoughts of Peeta but she couldn't stop them from mixing up, only confusing her further. If Gale was telling the truth about eventually divorcing Leevy, would he be able to forgive her for being with someone else in the mean time? Surely he would, as she forgave him every time he went back to his wife. And Peeta would have to understand her choice, if it came down to it. He'd want her to be with someone she loved, she knew he would. And these feelings she had for Peeta, they were just what she normally felt toward Gale being projected onto someone new. That had to be the case because when she was with Peeta, she felt things she hadn't since she was first with Gale.

"Is that what we're doing?" Peeta repeated, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"I...I haven't done that very much," she admitted slowly. "I'm not sure if I'd know what I'd have to do."

"You don't have to do anything, Katniss. We'll take things slow. Slower," he corrected with a bashful smile. "We'll go at whatever pace you need."

"Ok. Then, yes, it's a...date."

He turned onto his knees and kissed her with such excitement that it made her giggle and fall back onto the grass. He followed her down and the two began making out like school children. She loved the way his body felt against hers, how he would follow her lead with what kind of kisses she wanted before reclaiming his dominance of her mouth. She let out a whimper when he finally moved away and sat her up. "We should probably head back, it's getting late and I don't think we want to be in a public LA park after dark."

He helped her to her feet and they began their trek back. At one point she stopped him and pointed up into the tree where a small bird was perched, whistling a peppy tune. "My father used to say that nature was the truest test of talent. He would tell my sister and I stories about being out in the woods to sing. They'd fall silent and as soon as he was done, would repeat them back to him if they liked the sound." She paused. "I wonder…" She took a step toward the tree and watched the bird. When it paused, she started to sing a song she remembered hearing her father sing to her mother.

"She's got eyes of the bluest skies as if they thought of rain

I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain."

Her voice carried through the trees, soft and sweet and innocent. The bird hopped down to the next branch and watched her. She knew it was silly to get her hopes up about the story, it was almost too fantastical to believe when she was a child, let along as an adult. Still, there was a hope in her that she couldn't describe. Shrugging, she turned away. "Must have just been a story. Ready?"

He watched her, mesmerized by her simplicity in this moment, how beautiful she was when she sang so freely. He reached for her outstretched hand and pulled her tightly against him.

"Peeta?"

"Katniss, I just want to, I just need to tell you that I l-"

The bird's whistling caught both of their attention. Rather than its original tune, however, it now mimicked the piece of the song Katniss had just sung. She let out a gasp and looked up at the bird, chirping proudly. Then another joined in, one neither of them had seen from the next tree, and the two began a duet of the simple melody that swelled and filled the air. They stood still until the birds finished and flew off. "Wow," she smiled, looking back at him. "You were saying something, before. What was it?"

"Yea, I just, um, wanted to tell you that I..."

"You what?"

"I, uh, I care about you. A lot. And, and I'll do whatever I can to make you happy. I promise." He knew that telling her how he really felt about her, how he had fallen completely head over heels for her, after only a month, would scare her off. Hell, it scared him at first. Despite how frustrated he got at her defensiveness and guarded nature, whenever he was around her, he knew eventually his lips would betray him and slip out those three words he could never take back, even if he wanted to.

* * *

Katniss nearly canceled her dinner plans with Peeta three times as she tore through her newly expanded wardrobe. Thankfully Cinna was available when she became hysterical. He calmly walked her through what to wear and how to style her hair.

"You'll do fine, girl on fire."

"Girl on fire?"

"Turns out Caesar's description of you has stuck. Congratulations on your new nickname."

"Better than 'Ice Queen' I guess," she mumbled. "Thank you, Cinna. Really, I don't know what I would do without you."

* * *

She stood outside his apartment door, nervously pulling her her dress. Cinna's idea of 'mid-thigh' was nowhere near hers. She was certain the dress was barely suitable for public, but she had to admit the length, plus the shoes, gave her legs a certain definition she never knew she had. Thankfully it had a modest neckline to balance it out. Taking a deep breath, she knocked sharply on his door.

"Katniss," he greeted her with a smile. "You look..." his voice trailed off as he eyed her. "You look stunning. If I had known you were going to get all dolled up, I would have put on something less casual," he added, gesturing to his dark blue jeans and white button-down that was rolled up to his elbows, and loose tie around his neck. She couldn't help but image that tie in other places, binding his wrists, around her eyes, both of which sent an immediate shock through her body. "I'd invite you in but in order to get to our dinner, we have to go up to the roof."

She stared at him. "The roof?"

"Don't worry, the elevator goes all the way up." He led her back to the large elevator and pressed the 'R' button. "Here we are."

Katniss let out a soft gasp. In the middle of the roof was a small, candle-lit table set for the two of them. Tiny white Christmas lights were strung around, giving the appearance of dancing stars in the quickly fading evening sky. "You did all this?" she asked, incredibly.

"Too much?"

She shook her head. "It's beautiful. Oh!" She let out a giggle when she walked over to the table. "You made mac and cheese?"

Peeta did his best impression of her scowl. "Homemade macaroni and cheese, thank you very much. And freshly bake bread. But if my food isn't good enough for you then by all means-"

She interrupted him with a kiss. "It looks delicious. I haven't had macaroni and cheese in years."

After pushing her chair in, Peeta started his mp3 player and and a soft jazz song filled the air.

"Do you always go all out on dates?" She asked, playfully.

He laughed. "According to Delly I'm a romantic sap when it comes to relationships. Not that she really knows though, I've only really dated a handful of girls. And they were almost exclusively in college."

"How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you? Have you been around you? Any girl would be lucky to date you."

"Just been waiting for the right one, I suppose," he shrugged. "What about you? How have you not done the whole 'dating scene'?"

"Comes with the job description. Traveling constantly makes it difficult to maintain a relationship, let alone form one. It's just always been easier to avoid it all together."

He shook his head. "I don't know how Gale's been able to do it for two years."

She had chosen the wrong time to take a sip of her wine. "Do what?"

"Leave his wife behind when you guys tour. I can't imagine what it must feel like to not be able to hold the woman you love every night."

"Oh. Right." There was that guilt again, though now she wasn't sure if she felt guilty about Gale or Peeta. "Well, everyone learns to cope differently."

Peeta took a drink of his wine. "I guess. I mean, more power to her for trusting him. I'd be a nervous wreck for most of the time."

Katniss really wanted this conversation to end, she didn't want to talk about Gale and his wife because the longer Peeta brought it up, the more likely she'd be to tell him the truth. She was sure the 'romantic sap' wouldn't appreciate being with a woman like her. She focused her attention on the food in front of her, quickly shoving as much of it into her mouth as possible. Thankfully, he seemed to be doing the same but she didn't know if she preferred the uncomfortable silence or uncomfortable conversation prior.

"What's your favorite color?" He finally asked.

"What?"

He smiled. "I was just thinking, we work together, we've basically seen each other every day, we've slept together and yet, I don't know the simplest things about you, like your favorite color."

"Green," she answered. "Like pine trees at their finest. It was always the one constant; no matter what was going on, my dad was always home for Christmas and he would always decorate the house with garland and wreaths and this massive fur tree. He said it was something his parents did when he was growing up and he wanted to make sure we always had as real of a Christmas as possible living on the west coast. It was the one time a year when we all knew we'd be together as a family and unconditionally happy. Guess it's always just stuck with me." She swirled her wine glass around before downing the rest of it in one big gulp. "How about you?"

"My favorite color is orange."

She cocked an eyebrow and refilled her glass. "Orange?" When she thought of orange, the first thing that came to mind were the traffic cones that were a staple in L.A. traffic and she found it hard to believe Peeta would be interested in such a garish color.

"Yea, soft orange, like..." his voice trailed off as he turned his head away. "Like the sunset," he finished quietly. She followed his gaze over the edge of the roof. "This is my favorite view of the city."

The skyline seemed to be bathed in a glowing orange hue. "Like your apartment," she realized.

"By the time I was finished getting everything in, the sun was just starting to set. Delly told me I had to unpack one box that night and she happened to grab the one with my art supplies; she said it was a sign. It took forever to get the right mix but once it was done, it felt like home."

"Sunsets remind you of home?" She noticed he had finished his wine so she refilled his glass as well.

"Kind of."

His voice had changed again, like when she asked about the painting. "Why sunsets, though? Orange is in sunrises too."

He took a sip of his drink. "Sunsets were always a sign that we had survived another day, you know? It was like, if you could just get through to the sunset, it didn't matter what had happened because it was over now. Sunrises mean it's all about to start again, sunsets mean it's done." His voice was distant, like he was talking to some unseen presence. "Nighttime was a welcomed haven in our house."

She snorted. "I hated the night, I was always alone"

"Exactly."

"You liked being alone?"

He finally turned back to her, his red-rimmed eyes the only indication of any emotion. "Constant attention as a child isn't all it's cracked up to be. Night was when we could escape, even if it was only for a few hours."

"Escape to where?" As soon as she asked, she knew she didn't really want to know the answer. She wasn't the most intuitive person in the world but his eyes gave away that he was trying to hide some deep-seated pain. "Dance with me?"

"Huh?"

She made her way over to his mp3 player and began flipping through his music. "I haven't been on any real dates to speak of but I've suffered through enough chick flicks to know that it usually goes dinner, drinks, then dancing."

As the guitar riff began, came up behind her and ghosted his fingertips up her arms. Her body tensed but relaxed almost instantly into him. He turned her around slowly and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her heels put her at the perfect height to rest her forehead against his neck as they swayed effortlessly to the music.

_What'll you do when you get lonely._  
And no one waiting by your side?  
You've been running and hiding much too long.  
You know it's just your foolish pride.  
Layla, you've got me on my knees.  
Layla, I'm begging, darling please.  
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind.  
Tried to give you consolation.  
When your old man had let you down.

"Like a fool, I fell in love with you, turned my whole world upside down.

Layla, you've got me on my knees. Layla, I'm begging, darling please.

Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind."

Katniss peaked up and his eyes were closed, lips barely moving, whispering the words. She smiled and softly sang the last verse with him.

"Let's make the best of the situation, before I finally go insane.

Please don't say we'll never find a way and tell me my love's in vain."

"You know that's Haymitch, right?" She felt his voice rumble through his chest.

"My Haymitch?"

He chuckled. "Yep. Well, it's him on guitar, anyway. When my dad first played this song, I told him I was going to learn to play guitar just as well as Haymitch. My mother pounced on me right away, reminding me that musical talent was something you were either born with or weren't and judging by my horrific singing skills, it was obvious which side of that spectrum I fell on. But my dad shushed her, saying that sometimes talent just had to be nurtured."

"So you nurtured your guitar skills?" She asked, jokingly.

"That Christmas he got me an old beat-up acoustic guitar from a second-hand shop and a few beginner's books. I locked myself in my room every day after school and practiced for hours and hours and never got any better. I barely managed a few chords that didn't sound like I was skinning a cat before giving up completely. My dad said he was happy to have his son back to normal. I think he was really just glad my mother stopped complaining about it," he laughed. "It was better than when Graham wanted to play the drums. She actually moved out of the house for a month during that phase."

"She moved out?" Katniss couldn't imagine a parent choosing to leave their family, especially over something like music.

"Noise wasn't really her thing. Whenever we got too rambunctious she'd make it perfectly clear that her house was not a playground and we were not to treat it as such. Needless to say, constant, off-beat banging was her last straw. To be honest, I think that's why Graham continued for as long as he did. I know that's why he passed them down to Chip, who would have passed them down to me if he hadn't beat the shit out of them. I think she got more joy out of watching us haul the to the dumpster than anything else in her life."

"She sounds like a bitch."

He didn't respond, opting to wrap his arms tighter and pull her flush against his body.

"It's getting chilly," she mentioned, though she felt perfectly content right where she was.

"You want to go back inside?"

She snuggled closer to him. "Not yet."

* * *

"Hey, Peeta?" She called to him from the living room.

He stuck his head out from the kitchen where he was packing up the leftovers. "Yea?"

"I, uh, I didn't bring anything with me to, you know, sleep in."

"Sleep in? So you just assume you're sleeping here?" He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing the back of her neck that her up-do exposed.

"Oh, I, guess I didn't really, I mean, I didn't mean to assume..."

Peeta chuckled against her skin. "It's ok, you can stay. I want you to stay."

"You do?" He pressed himself against her, sucking on the sensitive skin behind her ear. She shuddered and rolled her head back to kiss him. She attempted to turn around but his hold on her prevented her from moving. His one hand stayed wrapped around her waist while the other snake it's way up her dress, brushing slightly against her core. She groaned and arched back into him, grinding against him.

He teased her through her panties. "I love hearing you," he whispered into her ear. Her knees buckled slightly. "I love watching you, Katniss," he continued, giving her ear lobe a slight nip.

"Peeta," she whined in a breathy voice.

He let out a quiet moan against her. "I love when you beg." He thrust his fingers into her and she started to cry out. He covered her mouth with his as he brought her closer to the edge.

She grabbed his tie from over her shoulder and pulled him closer against her. "Peeta, I want you. Right here."

Groaning, he quickly released his jeans with his free hand. He pressed her up against the wall and lifted her skirt over her hips. "Katniss, I love-oh you have GOT to be kidding me!" He yelled at whoever decided to knock on his door.

"Ignore it, Peeta," Katniss said, giving his tie another tug. "They'll go away." She started grinding against him again, exposing her neck to him.

The knocking continued until Katniss finally gave in. "Holy shit. Whoever that is better be dying."

Peeta sighed and rested his forehead against her shoulder. "We'll finish this later. I should have some shorts in my dresser you can wear. He kissed her temple and lightly slapped her ass as she walked into his room, leaving a trail of clothes along the way. She looked over her shoulder and threw him a wink. He let out a frustrated groan as he flung the door open.

"Hey, Peeta," the blond girl lowered her hand but seemed to pay no attention to his disheveled appearance. "We need to talk."

If looks could kill Delly Cartwright would have keeled over at his door. "It's late."

"I just got off work. I've been trying to call you," she replied in an accusatory tone.

His face softened and he ran his hand through his hair. "I haven't been avoiding you. I've just been busy."

She snorted. "That's why I'm here. I read something that I had to check with you about." Her voice trailed off as she scanned his apartment. Two wine glasses in the sink, a pair of red heels at the entrance to his bedroom. "Oh my God, Peeta, do you have someone here?" Delly slapped his arm. "Peeta Mellark! Who is it?" She smiled conspiratorially.

"It's no one," he said with a strained face. "I'll call you tomorrow. We'll talk then."

They both turned to his bedroom door which had just opened, revealing Katniss in a pair of Peeta's boxers and t-shirt.

"Holy fuck!" Delly cried with an enormous smile. "Peeta! That's, that's..."

He rolled his eyes. "Katniss, this is Delly. Delly, Katniss."

Katniss walked over and wrapped her arms around Peeta's midsection, extending one hand out to the blond girl in the doorway. "You're Delly? Peeta's told me so much about you."

The subtle act of marking her territory wasn't lost on Delly who cocked an eyebrow but smiled. "He's been surprisingly quiet about you. Even to his best friend." She turned her attention to Peeta. "I'm sorry I interrupted you two. Peeta, can I just have a word with you, real quick, then I'll let you two get back to whatever it was you were doing when I got here."

Peeta leaned down and gave Katniss a quick kiss and released himself from her grasp. "I'll be right back." He followed Delly into the hallway, partially closing the door behind him. "What's up?"

"So you two are dating now or just having slumber parties?"

He sighed. "Don't do this, Del."

"Don't do what? I'm your best friend, I shouldn't find out you're dating Katniss Everdeen by catching her in your underwear. Or by reading about it at work. There was a story submitted this morning about you two, complete with some pretty intimate pictures. That's why I came by, I wanted to talk to you about it before I approved it. And to warn you."

"Warn me?"

"I know how much you hate that department, but I really wish you had at least read something that came from the tabloid section before you started this. I know you like her and I trust your judgment, but she's not as...innocent as I think you think she is."

"She's fine, Delly," his voice raised slightly, obviously upset at her implications.

"I don't think she's told you everything or you wouldn't be so quick to defend her. Her last 'relationship' or whatever it was wasn't exactly on the up and up."

"So why didn't you tell me any of this the last time we talked?"

"Because I didn't believe it then."

"But in the last month something has changed?" He challenged her. Delly was his best friend but she had a habit of constantly questioning the other women in his life. It didn't normally bother him because it was just who she was and it came with the territory, but her dislike of Katniss set him on edge. Katniss had a public persona that was nothing like the woman he had gotten to know and Delly was too blinded by what others reported about Katniss rather than who she actually was.

She glared at him. "It's not that, Peeta. You know how the truth has a way of trickling out. I don't completely believe it but I didn't really believe you were actually in a relationship with her until I saw the pictures. There's too much out there to just turn a blind eye to it." She reached out for his hand, pleading with him. "If you don't want to listen to me, then fine. It's not my place to tell you anything, but at least be prepared for the shit storm when it comes. I love you. You're the only family I have anymore and you know that I'll always be there for you. Just talk to her. And if I have to kick her ass at some point, then I will, even if she is Katniss Everdeen."

He laughed and pulled Delly in for a hug. "What would I do without you?"

"You'd be stuck in some dead end job in Ohio as unhappy as your father, rather than sleeping with a rock star. You're welcome, by the way." She smiled at him. "I miss you, Peeta. I miss us."

"I'll call, I swear." He kissed her cheek and waited until she was on the elevator before heading back into the apartment. He was a little confused after their conversation. Delly had been uncharacteristically cryptic about Katniss. He trusted Delly, she really did always have his best interest at heart and seemed to have a sixth sense about relationships he could never understand but the idea that anyone would badmouth Katniss made his head hurt. If she wanted to tell him something about her past, he'd wait for her to tell him; he wouldn't push her into disclosing anything she wasn't ready to.

"Katniss?" He called, closing the door being him.

"In here," she answered from the bedroom. He smiled and followed her voice, pouncing on her as soon as he could.

"Now where were we?" He kissed her deeply, letting his hand roam under the t-shirt she was wearing. She moaned into his mouth and pulled him closer. "I don't know what I like better; you in that sexy dress or you in my clothes."

"What did she want?" Katniss asked quietly. "It's a little late to just drop by, isn't it?"

"She just had a question about something." He pulled her shirt over her head and began leaving a trail of kisses down her torso.

"This late? And without calling first?" Her body instinctively arched as he took one of her breasts into his mouth. "Ah, Peeta," she moaned. "No. Peeta!" She pulled his head up. "Don't you think that's a little weird?"

He sighed and rested on his elbows. "That's how she is, Katniss. It's how we are, I guess, how we've always been. I can't tell you how many times I just showed up at her place unannounced. We're each others people. And she had been trying to call me for a while."

"Must have been pretty important if she couldn't wait until the morning." Katniss felt the familiar twinge of jealousy and anger in her stomach. They were each others' people, as he put it, and she shouldn't feel challenged by the blond. Especially because it was clear that they were friends. But wasn't that what Gale always used to tell Leevy about her?

"She asked about us. She's been hearing some rumors at work and was upset that I didn't tell her first."

"That's it?"

He wrestled with the question. Technically, that was all she asked him in the hall, but he didn't want to lie to Katniss. But as he looked down at her, her grey eyes exposing her vulnerability at the moment, he couldn't hurt her. He'd ask later, about what Delly implied. "That's it. Now, if it's alright with you, I would really like to not think about the girl who might as well be my sister when I'm in bed with someone so sexy."

She giggled as his fingers began roaming the contours of her body, sighing contently when he lips followed suit. She easily get used to having those lips on her all the time. She reached down and quickly unbuttoned his jeans.

He paused long enough to allow her to push them down and begin stroking his length. Peeta let out a low moan against her skin as her tempo increased. His hips jerked in rhythm with her hand until he felt like he couldn't take it any longer. He ripped his shorts off of her and repositioned himself at her center. In one quick motion, he pushed into her. "I love that noise," he whispered when she cried out. "I love feeling you around me." She was sure he kept talking but she was too caught up in the feeling of him moving inside her to register what he was saying. "Katniss, I lo-"

A loud buzz filled the room. "Damn it!" she cried out, her orgasm have just been within reach.

He rolled off of her onto his back, just as unsatisfied. "This just wasn't meant to be tonight, was it?"

"What?" She growled into the phone.

"Katniss?" Haymitch's voice came from the other side, followed by a high-pitched shriek so loud she had to pull her phone away from her ear.

"Haymitch you better have a damn good reason for calling right now."

"Is that her? I swear to God, Haymitch, I"m going to murder that little bastard. Who does he think he is, pulling a stunt like this? Those two have NO idea who they're messing with. If they think we're just going to roll over then they've got another thing coming!"

"Is that Effie?" Katniss asked, referring to the woman yelling in the background.

"Yeah," Haymitch answered, drawing out the word. A loud shatter came through the speaker and Katniss flinched. "Something has come up. We need to meet ASAP."

"I swear to GOD, Haymitch!"

"Effie! Shut the hell up!" He yelled back at her. "Listen, Sweetheart, I know it's late, but you need to come to the studio."

Katniss heard the bang of something hitting a concrete wall. "What is going on?"

"It seems Hawthorne and his people are making a power play. Just get the wonder-boy and meet us down here." Another loud crash came across the phone. "And fast. Effie's damn near run out of things to throw."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll find out what's going on with Gale in the next chapter...dun dun duuuuuun.
> 
> Um, song credits:
> 
> Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns & Roses, written by Axel Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Steven Adler, and Duff McKagan.
> 
> Layla by Eric Clapton, written by Eric Clapton and Jim Gordon
> 
> Check out my blog for updates on this story and potential sneaky peaks. passionately-curious1 (dot) blogspot (dot) com
> 
> Check my profile for my blog for updates about the story and potential sneak picks.


	12. Chapter 12

"You really showed that wall who was boss, didn't you, Boy?"

Peeta clenched his jaw and inspected his hand as Haymitch stood next to him. Based on the stinging pain and tint of his knuckles, he was sure he at least fractured a few bones. It wasn't anything he hadn't experienced before but the physical pain couldn't compare with the way every fiber of his being was still being twisted and shattered into a million pieces. The hole on the other side of the hall mocked him and he slammed his head back, not caring about the welt he was sure would be forming any second now.

"Beating yourself up isn't going to make any of this go away, you know," Haymitch commented, taking a long swig from his flask. "And it's not going to make you feel any better."

"And your coping skill is so damn healthy." Peeta's voice was still shaking from an anger he fought against for most of his life.

"Not in the long run but I'll feel a hell of a lot better tomorrow than you will." Haymitch snorted loudly and slid down the wall beside Peeta, offering his flask. Peeta accepted it and let the harsh liquor burn his throat as it slid down. "Who are you really mad at? Because we both know it's not her."

"Why shouldn't I be mad at her? She lied to me, she helped break up a marriage, and she didn't even care. If I'm not mad then what am I supposed to feel about her?"

"You make it sound so simple." Haymitch shrugged. "Are love affairs ever really that simple?"

"I wouldn't know, having never been a cheater myself."

"Hmph." He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "I wouldn't have pegged you to be so judgmental."

Peeta groaned and slammed his head back again. He did know who he was mad at, which just increased his anger.

* * *

_"So what is this all about?" Katniss demanded as they met up with Effie and Haymitch. The two were huddled together, heads nearly touching, speaking so quietly neither Peeta nor Katniss could overhear anything._

_Haymitch lifted his head. "Right, now that you're both here, I guess we can get started. Eff, do you want..." he put his hand softly on her shoulder but she just shook her head. Peeta nearly didn't recognize the woman. Rather than her flamboyant clothing and hairstyle, her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail and her face was clear of makeup. If the air wasn't so thick with tension, he would have complimented on her; she really was a beautiful woman in her natural skin._

_"It's come to our attention that he has a press conference scheduled. And secured a spot to premier his new single on the Caesar Flickerman show."_

_"So?" Peeta asked. "Wasn't that the deal with Katniss too?"_

_"Sort of. He's been having some problems getting any air on the show since both his and Katniss' singles are set to be released at the same time and she's the bigger guest. But when Effie found out he got the spot, she knew his manager had to have something to persuade Flickerman. We had no idea just how much of a something they've got up their sleeve."_

_"Which is?" Katniss asked._

_"You may want to sit down for this, Katniss," Effie said quietly. It seemed hard to believe that this was the woman who was screaming and throwing things twenty minutes ago._

_For the first time, Katniss seemed nervous, sitting on the edge of a chair, grasping tightly onto Peeta's hand._

_Effie took a deep breath. "I heard some rumors and did some digging."_

_"And some arm twisting. Really, it was a thing of beauty," Haymitch added. He immediately returned to his flask when Katniss cocked a questioning eyebrow at him._

_Effie brushed him off. "Apparently Coin sent over a copy of what his press conference would entail, a story so big it'll blow everyone else out of the water." She handed a sheet of paper to Katniss and Peeta. "He's going to 'honestly address the rumors surrounding the band. And his personal life.'"_

_Katniss' eyes scanned the paper and she paled in front of their eyes. A single, hazard gasp escaped her lips as she hunched over. Peeta rubbed her back and leaned down._

_"Katniss, you ok? What's wrong?" He looked up frantically at Effie and Haymitch. They both were painfully watching the girl who was now dry heaving. "Haymitch? What does that mean?"_

_"It means he's coming clean about everything."_

_"Everything?" Katniss asked through labored breathing._

_Effie sighed. "I'm afraid so. It appears as though his new persona is about how much he's changed, that the band was a toxic space for him and he wasn't really himself."_

_"And throw everyone under the bus in the process," Haymitch snorted._

* * *

"Oh, Peeta. What did you do?" Delly finally asked, handing him a bag of ice. She pushed his shoulders back onto her couch and squatted down to inspect his hand. She turned it over, forcing his fingers open and running her fingers gingerly over his bruised knuckles. When he showed up a few days ago, he was a drunk mess, mumbling incoherently and asking about a place to stay. She sat on the couch with him until he fell asleep and the worry lines on his face disappeared. He was still asleep when she went into work the next morning and never answered her calls when she tried to check in. The pain in his eyes was enough to tell her not to push him, when he was ready, he'd tell her. It took a few days before he finally accepted the icepack and broke his silence.

He laughed darkly. "I fought a wall. I think it won." He let out a sharp hiss when she moved his fingers and she sighed.

"This isn't funny, Peet. Have you been to a doctor?" She knew he hadn't which his response confirmed.

Shaking his head, he flipped an empty pill bottle on the coffee table. "Haymitch gave these to me. And enough alcohol to help me forget. Didn't work, though," he added sadly.

"You would have thought you had learned your lesson about not going to the doctor when these things happen." Her voice was soft but strong, same as it always was when she went into 'mother hen' mode.

"What things? It's not like I make it a habit of punching walls," he snapped.

"No, but remember when you broke your leg and the doctors had to rebreak it just to set it correctly because it took your mother so long to get it looked at? You walked with a limp for nearly six months."

"I don't think I broke anything. This isn't the worst thing I've had to recover from."

She slapped his leg. "I'm taking you to the hospital. Get up." They were silent on the car ride to the emergency room, neither one knowing just what needed to be said or heard. She opened her mouth a few times but seemed to think better of it. He rested his head against the cool window, watching the city lights of L.A. flash by.

Delly held his good hand as the middle-aged nurse fit him for his splint. "Minor fractures," she told him with a smile, as though it was the best news he could hear. "We'll do a follow-up in a week to check for tenderness and numbness and re-evaluate then for how long you'll need to keep that on. Keep that hand still and I'll be back in a little while with your splint." She gave him a wink as she closed the curtain to the make-shift room behind her.

He laid his head back on the bed and closed his eyes. "I'm glad you're here, Delly." He gave her hand a squeeze that she returned.

"That's what friends are for. I assume the shit hit the fan?"

He groaned. "I don't know what even happened. I'm an idiot, Delly. I lost my temper and probably ruined everything."

The nurse peeked her head in a few minutes later. "Mr. Mellark?"

"Is the splint ready? That was fast," Delly said.

"No, not yet. Um, actually, you have a visitor. We don't normally allow people back here but..." The nurse answered hesitantly.

_When they arrived at the ER that evening, she was the first nurse they saw. And when he told her he punched through a wall, she looked him up and down and called off the other nurses. "The things you boys do for love. My boy, Thresh, he's just like you - quiet, unassuming, but you get between him and his and that's a whole 'nother story. So who's the girl?"_

_"There's no girl," he mumbled._

_She clicked her tongue. "There's always a girl." She looked up at Delly who rolled her eyes at her friend's stubbornness._

_"_ I'll see her."

The nurse nodded and motioned for someone to step forward, into the room.

"Hi, Peeta," Katniss said quietly, actively avoiding looking at him. She was fidgety, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

"I'm going to go get some coffee," Delly said, sliding off the hospital bed. "You want anything, Peeta?"

"No, thanks, Delly."

She kissed the side of his head. "Ok. I won't be too long." She sent an accepting nod to the nurse who excused herself. Delly stopped next to Katniss, still staring at her shoes. "Katniss, would you like anything?"

Katniss snapped her head up, surprised to see Delly smiling. She shook her head, wondering why this girl was being so nice to her when she had no reason to be.

Delly started to walk out but backtracked and placed her hand on Katniss' shoulder. "Talk to him. He'll listen." She gave the other girl's shoulder a slight squeeze before exiting the room.

"Is she always like that?" Katniss asked.

"Unfortunately. It's her best and worst feature. Despite everything she's been through, she sees good in everyone. Even when no one else does."

Her face involuntarily twitched as she realized what he was implying. "How's your hand?"

He held it up even though she wasn't looking at him. "It's seen better days."

"Is it broken?"

"Boxer's fracture. A few weeks in a splint and it'll be good as new."

She nodded and fell silent again, biting her lower lip "I would have come sooner but Haymitch said you needed some space. From me. "

He kept his eyes on her and she finally looked up at him. Even from across the room, he could see her grey eyes no longer held any kind of flame or life like he had grown accustomed to seeing.

"You have every right to hate me." Her voice wavered as she spoke. "You should hate me. What I did was unforgivable and stupid and-"

"I don't."

"You don't?"

He took a deep breath. "I wanted to be mad at you, I still do, but I'm not. And I don't hate you."

"Why not?"

"Because love tends to make people do things they may not do otherwise. You're not a bad person, Katniss, you were just blinded."

* * *

_Haymitch flipped the television off after the press conference. "Effie's going to talk to Finnick and Johanna's people to try to get a united front. This is a setback, not the end of the world."_

_"I should talk to Leevy."_

_"What? No. No, Katniss you should not." Effie spoke up. "You need to keep a distance from both of them. We may still be able to spin this in our favor if we play our cards right."_

_"Gale just told the world that I tempted him into cheating on his wife! That I was 'sexual napalm' and he couldn't control himself when we were together. He called me a nymphet!" Katniss cried. "Everyone is going to think I'm a home wrecker."_

_Effie and Haymitch exchanged the same looks. They knew she was right, it was rare for the mistress to fully recover from a scandal like this. Gale, himself, had a difficult road but since he was the one who announced it, he had some control over how the story was presented. And he played his part well, enough pain in his eyes and hesitation in his voice to show his remorse, but strength through his words. He promised to be better to his wife, he apologized for all the embarrassment he caused to those he loved, he asked for support from his former band-mates._

_"I'm surprised Snow hasn't fired him yet," Katniss said._

_Haymitch shook his head. "It's going to cause enough buzz about him and his album that Snow must anticipate it'll boost sales. You, on the other hand, need the right response and fast, or - "_

_"Or I'm screwed," she finished._

_"You and your family. He'll collect what he believes is his one way or another, you know that."_

_"So what do we do?"_

* * *

They pulled up to the small house on the edge of town and Katniss checked the address Haymitch slipped her earlier. She glanced nervously at the house, then down to her hands in her lap.

Peeta gave them a reassuring squeeze. "You can do this."

"Effie would kill me if she knew I was here."

"That's not new."

She tried to smirk but couldn't. "Do you think being honest will make me feel better?"

"Doesn't really matter what I think," he answered. "Do you?"

She groaned. "Honestly? No. I don't know if I'll ever feel better about this."

"Eventually you will."

"She's going to be so mad."

"Yeah." He gave her a half smile. "But you'd be surprised at who her anger really is directed towards."

His words were simple but she found immediate comfort in them. Taking another deep breath, she nodded. "Do you want to come with me?"

"I think this is something you need to do on your own. But I'll be right here if you need anything." He leaned over and let his lips graze her cheek. "You can do this, Katniss."

Despite his confidence in her, her feet felt like concrete as she trudged up the steps to Leevy's temporary home. The lights were on throughout the house and there were two figures moving around within. 'Shit!' She hadn't considered Gale being there. His car wasn't out front but he could have gotten a ride here. She debated internally and resolved to return to the car, unable to face both of them, when she heard the front door open.

"Katniss?"

She turned back to the house. "Hi, Leevy."

Leevy was leaning in the doorway. "What, uh, what are doing..."

"Leev? Who's outside?" Another woman stood behind Leevy. The two women looked almost identical so Katniss assumed she was the sister she heard Gale fume about.

"This is Katniss," Leevy answered.

The other woman narrowed her eyes and Katniss suddenly knew what a deer must feel like through the scope of a hunter's rifle. She was skiddish and the flight aspect of her brain was starting to take control of her body. "What is she doing here?" The woman sneered. "You've got a lot of nerve showing up here right now, you worthless piece of shi-"

"Polly, there are some boxes in the bedroom that need to be unpacked. Do you mind working on those for me?" Leevy interrupted, her soft voice soothing the air. Her sister huffed but stomped back inside, throwing Katniss one more glare over her shoulder. Once she was out of view, Leevy turned back to Katniss. "Why are you here, Katniss?"

"I, I wanted, to talk to you." She answered, stumbling over her words. She grimaced as she said them because even in her head they sounded ridiculous. "About..."

"I know what about." Leevy answered curtly.

Katniss hung her head. "I feel terrible."

"You should."

"I do. I, a part of me always did. I know it doesn't make sense and I doubt it ever will. But, I loved him. I thought he loved me back. He told me he did, he told me all the time that he was going to leave you because you two weren't happy together."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? To know that he told you he wasn't happy with me? That he loved you?"

"No, it's just-"

"Just what?" Katniss finally looked up at Leevy, at the tears that she was fighting back with all her might. "I know we weren't ever really friends, but I trusted you, Katniss. You were the only one I thought would tell me the truth. I knew there would be temptations, I knew we were having problems but I didn't, for one second, think you would be that girl. And for two years, Katniss? Two years you lied to my face when I confided in you things that I had just started to accept thinking about being possibilities? You are selfish, Katniss Everdeen. You're a selfish human being. That's why you're here, isn't it? To make yourself feel better, to wipe your own slate clean." She scoffed. "Just like him. Except neither of you ever thought about how it would make me feel. How embarrassed I am because I'm the idiot who married him. Who was too, too stupid to see what was right in front of her!"

By this point, tears were pouring down Leevy's face. Katniss didn't know if she was yelling at her anymore or yelling just to let it all out. "I was warned, you know, before the wedding, before he proposed even, that he wasn't going to be faithful. I should have known when I caught him the first time! But he promised that he loved me and he messed up and wouldn't ever do it again." Katniss rushed to her side as the woman collapsed in the doorway.

"I'm a fool," Leevy sobbed.

Katniss wrapped her up in her arms, unsure what else to do for the woman who was now shaking uncontrollably. "I know that nothing I say can make this better. I was selfish. I knew he was with you, but he made me feel so..."

"So complete," Leevy finished.

Katniss nodded. "I did come here to make myself feel better."

"Do you?"

"Not at all." This response just caused another round of tears from Leevy, so Katniss continued to hold her, trying to keep her own feelings at bay. After she stopped heaving, the two women sat on the front steps, staring into the night sky. "Do you hate me, Leevy?"

"I should, shouldn't I?" Leevy answered with a harsh laugh. "I'm mad at you. I'm mad at him. I'm mad at myself for letting him do this to me." She took a deep breath. "But no, Katniss. I don't hate you. I know what's he like. I don't know that I can ever forgive you, though."

"I don't know that I deserve it," she admitted.

"I do have one question for you, though."

"I owe you that at least."

"Why Gale? You're a beautiful woman, Katniss. You're so talented and charming and, despite how you appear sometimes, you're endearing. You have this crazy effect on people once they meet you, you don't even understand it."

Katniss snorted. "I think Peeta said that once."

"That's what I mean. Peeta is phenomenal, he's every girl's dream. Hell, you two were all Gale could talk about after your party," she added with a hint of bitterness. "If you could get a guy like him, why would you take another woman's husband?"

* * *

"Yea, Del, I'm fine. We're back at my place. Yes, both of us. You know why. I know you are and I appreciate that but seeing her in the hospital, then on the way home from...I don't think it is, Delly. You must have seen something too or you wouldn't have left us alone or let us leave. Seems like you've rubbed off on me, Cartwright." He chuckled. "I know, two weeks, ice, no strenuous activity. Seriously, what are you twelve? Get your mind out of the gutter. Well if you want it so bad then go find someone. I'm sure Cato would be up for the job. Kidding! Totally kidding! You really do need to get laid. Right, too busy, right?" His laughter echoed throughout the apartment. "Of course. Yep, talk to you later. You too. Night."

Peeta hung up his cell-phone and grabbed the spare blanket from the closet before checking on her. "Are you going to be warm enough with what's there?"

Katniss sat up, nervously running her fingers along the comforter. "I'll be fine. Though I still think you should sleep here. I can go home. Or sleep on the couch. I don't like taking your bed."

He shook his head and smiled. "Don't worry about it. I've been sleeping on a couch for the past few days, I think my body's adjusted to it."

"You're sure you don't want to stay with me?"

He sighed. He did want to stay with her, he wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms and make her feel safe and protected and so very much not alone. She told him about her conversation with Leevy on the car ride home and he could tell in that moment, despite her never uttering the words, that she was truly sorry for the pain she caused the other woman. He wasn't thinking when he pulled Delly's car into his parking lot that night and it wasn't until Katniss cleared her throat that he realized he didn't even attempt to take her home. He offered to let her stay, it was nearly 3am already.

"I can't yet, Katniss," he told her. "I'm not mad at you but I just can't yet. This whole thing, you, your album, us, it's different now. We jumped into things without thinking them through. I care about you, I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want..."

"You think I'll hurt you?" Her voice was so small, so fragile, so unlike anything he had ever heard directed at him before that his heart nearly shattered.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Unintentionally, yes, if we keep going full steam ahead without checking the brakes." He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hands in one of his, using his other to brush the hair that escaped her braid from her face. "I just need a little time." He kissed her cheek and stood up. "Things will be ok, Katniss."

As he laid on the couch, he was unable to sleep. At Delly's, the images of Gale and Katniss ran through his head. He questioned everything he had with her and made him wonder how often she compared them. Tonight, it was the sound of her tears floating from his room.

He pulled the blanket back and curled around her. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his chest until she fell asleep. And when she awoke the next morning, her fingers were intertwined with his.

* * *

"How does that sound? Katniss? Katniss?"

The snapping fingers in front of her face caught her attention. She shook her head, re-acclimating herself to the small cafe by Cinna's salon that they were drinking coffee at.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Cinna chuckled. "I was asking how you felt about the photo layout for your 'Acoustically Speaking' interview."

She was slightly embarrassed that she hadn't really been listening to anything he said in the last half an hour or so. Her mind had been fixated on thoughts of Gale and Leevy and Peeta. Especially Peeta. Since that night, she couldn't get him out of her head. She saw every shade of blue his eyes had been and every twitch of his face when he tried not to laugh at her whenever she shut her eyes. "Um..."

He rested his hand on top of hers. "The hard part of this ordeal is over, Katniss. The world knows, you've talked to Leevy, none of your team has bailed, what else are you worried about?"

_"So what do we do?"_

_"Like I said, Effie's starting damage control as well as lining up interviews for you to clear the air. Luckily we've had your spot on Caesar's show booked for a while. Though we may need to reconsider what you sing on there," Haymitch answered._

_"I thought I had to perform my first single?" Katniss asked, confused as to why they'd need to reconsider her selection when she didn't have anything else._

_Effie and Haymitch exchanged a look. "You do," Haymitch responded, drawing out the single syllable. "But we've been thinking."_

_"Maybe you need to be more on the offense with your single. We don't think it's going to help if you look..." Effie looked to Haymitch for the correct word._

_"Passive," he supplied. "If you hide in the corner or avoid questions then there's a very strong possibility that no one will sympathize with you. Hawthorne's got a little of an edge right now, making it look like a lapse in judgment. He's relatable to any guy who's ever felt temptation. You, on the other hand, aren't appealing to anyone except women who are more concerned with their own happiness than that of the people around them. You look like you were just using him for sex."_

_Katniss felt the anger surge through her. "That. is. not. what happened between us at all."_

_"We know!" Haymitch yelled, his frustration as evident as hers. "Hence the need for damage control."_

_"Fine. So in my interview with Caesar I say that's just not the case. Problem solved."_

_Haymitch cocked an eyebrow at her. "You think it's that easy, do you? Because if it was, we'd release a statement now and not be having this conversation. But the picture he painted of you made that just a tad more difficult. He made it look like you knew he was married but didn't care. And that, sweetheart, doesn't make you likeable. Remember, you need to be likable."_

_"I'm afraid he's right, Katniss," Effie chimed in. "I don't have much respect for Gale Hawthorne but you're really looking like the bad person right now."_

_Katniss didn't miss the sincerity stemming from Effie Trinket. It was probably the first time the woman's voice didn't have an underlying sarcasm to it. Katniss turned her gaze toward Effie who was staring at her fingers, the wall, Haymitch, anything but Katniss herself. She sighed, Effie never avoided looking at who she was directly talking to. "Realistically, what's our game plan?"_

_"We're looking at a Hail Mary. We need the boy on board for it to have a shot in hell. But he's got to be 100% invested, Sweetheart."_

_"Welp. May the odds be ever in my favor."_

"What if I can't do this?"

Cinna smiled sadly and squeezed her hands. "Do you remember what I told you the first time you asked me that?"

"That you'd bet on me."

He nodded. "I'm still betting on you, Girl on Fire."

She scoffed. "I hate that nickname."

"You shouldn't. 'In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.'"

"Deep."

"And true." He released her hands and pointed at her chest. "You, Katniss Everdeen, can be that person who rekindles the inner spirit, if you choose to be. You are a remarkable young lady and, regardless of what Haymitch grunts about you, we can all see it. That's why he and Effie stuck by you instead of going to Gale's team. It's how they convinced Peeta to give up his stable job. And it's why I volunteered to be your stylist."

Her eyes widened. "You volunteered? I thought – "

"I wasn't lying when I said I was a fan of 'District 12'. Or that it was an improvement to get you. Remember we're on your team in this. All of us." His eyes lifted from hers and sparkled slightly. She furrowed her eyebrows but he just nodded behind her. "Peeta. Good to see you."

She flipped around in her chair and couldn't stop the smile that formed at the sight of him.

"Hey, Cinna. Katniss."

"Peeta. What are you doing here?" She asked, pulling out an extra chair at their table.

"I invited him," Cinna answered as he took a sip of his coffee. "He told me a few days ago that he'd be in the studio working with Haymitch to prepare for your recording this afternoon and I figured he'd need a break from the old grump. I'm glad you could join us." Peeta sat in the open chair and leaned back to make himself comfortable. "I was just about to show Katniss a few of the renderings I've created for her 'Acoustically Speaking' layout. I'd be honored to have another set of artistic eyes on them."

"I'll look over them but fashion's not really my specialty," he laughed and pointed to the ripped jeans and faded Northwestern t-shirt he was wearing as a way of proving his point.

"Don't be so modest, Peeta," Cinna dismissed his concerns. "Katniss has told me all about the artwork at your apartment. She said you have a real eye for beauty."

Peeta looked questioningly at Katniss who gulped down the remaining of her coffee. "I just said that you had art at your apartment," she answered, suddenly feeling like a teenager in front of her crush. She knew why she was so nervous around him, even when he said they'd be fine. It had been over a week ago, though, a week of virtually no contact. She wanted to stay with him in his apartment, but the silence and loneliness of it became too much. It was ironic, give how homey it really was, with it's sunset orange walls and gently used furniture. He left for the studio early, however, and when he finally came back, he stayed in the living room or kitchen. He assured her he was still invested in writing her songs but needed more time to work everything out from the personal level. She left that night, returning to her hotel suite for the rest of the week.

Cinna gave her a knowing wink and pulled a black leather-bound notebook onto the table. She let out an audible gasp at each turn of the page, every drawing as beautiful as the rest. They spent the next hour going back and forth to decide on the three main outfits for the spread, a black leather mini-skirt with a plunging top to showcase her 'rock star / sex kitten look' that the editors were apparently excited for and Katniss knew she'd hate the most. A soft pink one-shoulder dress that flowed down to her and had silver beading at the shoulder, to showcase her 'soft and feminine' side.

The final design was her glamor shot, a nude, tight fitting dress with a black lace overlay with full sleeves and a hemline that barely hit mid-thigh. The detail on the dress amazed her the most, it was as though Cinna had hand-drawn the pattern of the lace. "That's not going to look good on me," Katniss said in disbelief, taking in the way the dress hugged every curve of the model body Cinna drew. "There's no way I'd fill that out the way I need to."

"Don't be ridiculous, you'll look gorgeous in it," Peeta said quietly. When neither Cinna nor Katniss responded, he looked up from the drawing, right at her. "You'll look beautiful in any of them." He reached under the table and rested his fractured hand on her knee. This touch, the first in a week, seem to shock them both into life and she smiled at him.

"It's really all Cinna's work," she answered, unable to tear her eyes off his.

"Don't sell yourself so short, Katniss. You could pull of a burlap sack if you wanted."

She rolled her eyes. "You're only saying that because – "

"Because it's true. Like you said, I have an eye for beauty."

Katniss smiled and ducked her head. She knew she was blushing but for once, she didn't care. At that moment, the air between them reverted back to the night before the Gale bomb dropped. When she finally looked back up, she was met by those eyes that made the world stop turning. The intensity of that feeling frightened her at first but it was now a sense of comfort. In an odd, 'this shouldn't be but it is' kind of way.

Cinna watched the two with a smirk. He liked Peeta. From the handful of times they spoke, the songwriter seemed articulate, intelligent, and completely genuine. But more than that, he liked the way Katniss unconsciously lit up around the boy. Gone was the quiet, surely girl from _District 12_ , replaced by an actual human being. 'Effie Trinket, you crazy genius,' he thought, packing up his portfolio. He laid some cash on the table before clearing his throat. "Well, I should head out and work on these. You two have an excellent day in the studio."

Whether or not the pair heard or processed what Cinna said, he didn't know. And he didn't care either. As he slipped out of the cafe, he made sure to send an update to Effie and Haymitch. 'It worked. They're both in.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote Cinna used about the inner fire is from Albert Schweitzer.
> 
> Personal/Nerdy moment about this chapter: There is research that suggests when women who are involved in affairs show that they were emotionally attached to the married man, they are judged less harshly than when they aren't emotionally attached. Similarly, when men who cheat claim they are emotionally dissatisfied in their original relationship, they're judged more harshly than women and men who don't make any claims about emotional satisfaction.


	13. Stay

She couldn't help but smile as they pushed open the doors into Snow Records. Or, at least tried to. "Peeta," she playfully elbowed him. "You have to give me my hand back." She had never been a fan of public displays of affection, always sneering and rolling her eyes at the couples that walked with their hands in each others' pockets. But when she was with Peeta, it was like she was a totally different person. One who liked being touched. And who giggled when he smiled at her. She wondered if this is how people who weren't in the limelight and constantly critiqued acted. She didn't exactly know what brought this Peeta back but she had missed him and was glad he was here again. She felt more alive with him, despite the uncertainty of her future. He instilled a confidence in her she didn't know she had, simply by being around him. She smiled and leaned into his body, savoring his ever present sugar scent. The old Katniss would hate this Katniss.

But this Katniss was very much enjoying being this Katniss. Because this Katniss was being kissed against the wall next to the elevator. It appeared as though the time spent apart had been affecting Peeta just as much as it had her, so when she felt his lips press against hers, she smiled. One hand held her hips still while the other tangled itself in her hair, pulling a few strands loose from her braid. She opened her mouth slightly to allow his tongue access when she felt him tense slightly.

"What's wrong?" She asked when they pulled apart.

His eyes flickered as he looked between her and his feet. His voice was quiet and unsure. "I'm sorry."

She knew that tone, she had heard that tone before. Too many times. Gale used that tone whenever he told her that he had to try to make things write with Leevy. He always did the same thing; he'd pull away, avert his gaze, and suddenly lose all the confidence he usually had. Then he'd say it. 'I'm sorry,' and she knew. Knew he was leaving for her.

Old Katniss was a masochist, giving herself to Gale over and over despite his constant choice of Leevy over and over. Old Katniss seem to get off on the pain. Turns out this Katniss was no different in that respect. Because she heard herself asking the question she always asked Gale. "For what?"

"For what I did."

Her stomach felt like it was full of rocks. "What did you do?" Every possible scenario raced through her head and she wondered if his sudden reappearance and constant compliments and desire to touch her had to do with whatever he was sorry about it. Gale was like that after spending time with Leevy. 'I can't believe I was so stupid and thought she was what I wanted,' he'd say, holding her as tightly as he could and kissing her temple, her cheek, her lips.

He didn't answer right away and she pushed him away. "Peeta. What did you do?"

He ran his hand through her hair and her eyes widened. She recognized his nervous actions and he might as well be screaming his guilt. She set her jaw and turned toward the elevator, slamming the 'up' button as hard as she possibly could.

"Katniss."

There was that tone again. She pressed the button again.

"Katniss."

She felt like she was about to throw up.

His hand reached out and grabbed her arm. She attempted to rip her arm away but his grip tightened. "Katniss!"

She turned to him, having never heard him raise his voice at her before, or anyone, really. "What? What could you possibly have to say to me right now? What do you think is going to make this better, Gale?"

His hold wavered for a beat and she wondered if it was enough time to run out of the studio. He seemed to guess this was her instinct because grabbed both of her shoulders and forced her into the elevator that just opened. He pressed the button that would lead them to the studio floor but then surprised her by slamming his fist against the emergency stop button, causing the elevator to come to a screeching halt.

"I'm not him! He's a dick for what he did to you, Katniss, airing your dirty laundry with absolutely no regard for you or for his wife, shaming you to make himself look better. I hate that you don't think you deserve better than him and that you instantly go to some dark and twisty place when bad things happen. You..." he ran his hand through his hair again. "You are phenomenal, do you get that? Your voice, your fight, your strength, everything about you deserves better than everything you've gotten." He let out an exasperated sigh and softened his voice. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me to be. I avoided you because I hate how much he still affects you and I didn't think I'd ever have that effect on you. But you should never feel that way again or think you're second best to anyone. I would never do that to you. I'm not him."

He pulled on the emergency button and the pair continued their ascent, neither one speaking to the other. Peeta said his peace but Katniss could feel the tension still radiating off of him. She felt like a fish pulled out of water, sputtering noises but unable to form anything that resembled words. She couldn't even get her brain to form thoughts, though there were plenty spinning around.

"I'll meet you in there," he said quietly, stepping off the elevator as soon as it came to a stop.

She nodded and let her body carry her to the recording studio, replaying the last twenty minutes over in her head. How had they gone from being unable to keep their hands off each other, to her calling him Gale in a fight, to him closing himself off to her like she usually did. She didn't mean it. It wasn't like she liked thinking about Gale when she was with Peeta because the two didn't belong in the same world. He had to know that, right? That she would never actually compare the two, not now that she knew Peeta. But he acted like he didn't know, like she constantly thought they were the same person. She felt the anger of the situation rise. Why would he think that she would want to go through that again when he had just watched her break down from it?

"Well who pissed in your scrambled eggs this morning?" Haymitch greeted her as she entered the small room.

"Where's Beetee?" She asked, obviously ignoring her mentor's teasing.

"Woah, must be serious. Want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly."

He let out a loud breath. "Thank goodness. Because I don't think I can handle too much more of your dramatic lifestyle, Sweetheart. You missed a button, by the way," he nodded toward her chest and she quickly glanced down. Sure enough, one of the buttons on her blouse had missed an eye-hole. She flushed, remembering how quickly Peeta had been able to get the shirt unbuttoned to allow him access in the alley outside of the cafe. Just so he could feel her skin under his. A shiver shot through her body at the memory his fingertips ghosting over her.

"Can we just get this over with?" She mumbled, grabbing the headphones and lyrics off the soundboard.

Haymitch watched her with confusion. He had been expecting a totally different Katniss Everdeen for this recording, one who was actually ready and had some sort of fight reinstilled in her. She slammed the door that led to the booth shut and settled herself down on the stool and read over the lyrics as the music played softly behind her. A few seconds later Peeta entered the room. "Is she ready?"

"Is she ready? Does she look ready?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at Peeta, who frankly looked like he got hit by an emotional freight train. 'What the hell happened between coffee with Cinna and now?' he wondered, making a note to talk to the fashion designer about what 'they're both in' meant in his world.

"She'll be fine. It's not really that complicated of a song. She did fine with the last one and that required more."

The boy was absolutely flat, despite his effort to sound confident. "More vocally, maybe. But I read these lyrics, and you know it's going to take a lot out of her to get it right."

Peeta glared at Haymitch. "It's not really requiring that much out of her."

"Yea, except expose herself to everything she'd been hiding from everyone for two years. To finally admit what she did and why she did it and be vulnerable. If you think that's not requiring much then you really haven't learned a damn thing about her."

"You're the one who wanted this, Haymitch. You and Effie were the ones who said she needed to take this road. So it's not really up to me to decide if she's ready for this or not because she doesn't have that choice anymore. You took that away from her when you decided what needed to be done instead of letting her make that decision. So maybe I don't know her as well as you do but I sure as hell respect her more."

Peeta never expected an old drunk to hit that hard. "Don't you ever question my respect for that girl, do you understand me?" He growled, offering a hand to help Peeta off the floor. "Or my level of dedication to her. You think you're the only one who cares about her or is fighting for her? You don't see it because you're too caught up in the personal side of everything. You see her as a girl and not as a musician-"

"That's not true!"

"Let me finish!" Haymitch snapped. "You see her as a girl first and a musician second. That's not a bad thing; it's the one thing the rest of us have been unable to do all this time. We know how to direct her career but you are helping her develop into who she really is. I don't know what the hell happened that got both of your panties' in a twist, but grow up and get over it. You need to be in this for the long haul."

"She called me Gale," Peeta responded, sitting at the soundboard and slamming the headphones over his ears. The song really was simple, which was good since Beetee was off working with Gale on his single which was proving to be somewhat more technically advanced than they originally planned. Haymitch and Peeta were perfectly capable of handling the basics of editing and would send it off to Beetee for final approval.

"Yea, well, she's called me worse. Girl's got a temper like you wouldn't believe, tends to say stuff she doesn't mean without realizing she's doing it."

Peeta looked over at the older man who was now sitting beside him with a smirk. Haymitch's dislike of Gale Hawthorne wasn't lost on Peeta and he realized this was the manager's way of calming the situation down. "You think she's ready?"

Haymitch looked through the glass at her, moving her lips as she read the lyrics. "It's now or never." He pressed a button to speak to Katniss directly. "I'll count you in, Sweetheart."

* * *

Katniss wiped away the tear that fell down her cheek. "How was it?"

"Perfect."

She jumped and turned to the door between the recording booth and sound studio. With his hands shoved into his pocket, he leaned in the doorway. "I doubt that. My voice cracked near the end."

Peeta nodded slowly. "That's why it was perfect." He stepped toward her. "You know, when I brought the song up the first time, it was supposed to be like the last one, with a big choral arrangement behind it. Beetee nearly had a heart attack at the amount of work he'd have to do," he chuckled. "Haymitch vetoed that decision pretty quickly. Said it needed to sound more authentic. More raw."

"And did it meet his expectation?"

"Your voice cracked at the end. Every time." He swallowed. "I'm sorry you had to do that."

She shook her head. "I'm not. About earlier, what I said -"

"I know. But, what I said, I'm not." He took another step closer to her, quickly closing the gap between them. "I meant every word. If I ran into him right now I'd probably try to strangle him."

She snorted. "You wouldn't hurt a fly. A wall, maybe, but not a fly."

"I'd hurt him, if he ever hurt you again." And suddenly he was right in front of her, crouching down so they were face to face. He ran his thumb across her cheek bone, caressing her face. "I'd never hurt you, Katniss," he said in a whisper.

"You'll leave, eventually. Everyone does." The emotional outpouring required of the song was still coursing through her veins, affecting everything coming out of her mouth.

He shook his head. "No. Not unless you needed me to."

"So you'll stay with me?" She wasn't pleading, she wasn't begging. For once, she was just asking.

He leaned in and kissed her, their lips gently pressing against one another, conveying everything either one wanted to say and hear from the other. "Always," he answered. He stood and pulled her up with him. A smile played at his lips.

"What?"

"Do you know you missed a button?" His eyes fell to her chest, hers followed, and she laughed. Sure enough, despite her efforts to fix her shirt twice, she still managed to miss an eye-hole. She collapsed against him, wondering who decided she deserved Peeta Mellark.

"Can we just go home?"

* * *

Katniss still hated this green room and the all-too peppy intern who kept asking if she wanted anything or needed anything or if there was anything they could do. She really wanted to tell them exactly what they could do but Peeta's hand on top of hers squashed that idea. "She's fine. Thank you, though. You've been very helpful."

Then he smiled that ridiculously charismatic smile and sent the intern away in a giggling tizzy.

"Do you have to do that?" She snapped once the intern left. "You're only encouraging her to come back and 'check up on you, Mr. Mellark.'" She did her best imitation of the accent, which was eerily similar to the one Effie would occasionally slip into.

He gave her hand a squeeze. "Wouldn't you rather they come check up on me rather than you?"

"I'd rather them leave us alone."

Peeta pulled her onto his lap and began rubbing her back, pushing her hair over her shoulder. "I know and soon they will. But at least you're getting the attention. Could you imagine doing this without Caesar and his obnoxious interns?"

"No," she sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder as his hands continued rubbing her back. Even though she had been to Cinna's studio for prep work and they attempted to get all the knots out of her back, it seems they missed the one right between her shoulder blades. And when Peeta's hands found it, she sighed his name.

She felt his breathing hitch in his chest as his hands continued rubbing out the knot. Katniss let out another moan, followed by a low growl from him. They had decided to try to take things slow and despite them sleeping in the same bed since the night she recorded the new song, they had done little more than kiss. She shifted her hips until they brushed up against the bulge growing in his jeans. He hissed and she turned her heard and started kissing down his neck, sucking slightly on the spot just behind his ear. He turned and captured her lips with his own; the hand that was previously working out the knot was now pressed flat against her back, bringing her flush against him. The other was gripping onto her thigh, which was moving against his as she continued to grind slowly against him.

"That's going to make me throw up."

Katniss' body immediately stiffened against Peeta's.

"Now Haymitch," Effie said, followed by a sharp smack that Katniss presumed was Effie's hand on Haymitch's arm. "I told you to knock. Young love and all."

'Young love?' Katniss thought, rolling her eyes. She finally lifted her head and her jaw dropped. Effie looked just like Effie, dolled up in a overly constructed turquoise dress that made her shoulders look three times wider than they were. The heinous green and blue flower that wrapped from her shoulder blade to her chest didn't really help the look, nor did the lime green eyeshadow or six inch black ankle boots, but it wasn't Effie who caught Katniss' attention. Standing next to her was Haymitch in clean jeans, a cream button-down shirt rolled up to his elbows and brown vest. His hair was neatly groomed and the stubble on his chin no longer made him look like a wash-up but somewhat presentable. And from the way his hands were twitching slightly, she could swear he hadn't been drinking that day. Not even during her first interview did he look this put-together.

"You...you look good, Haymitch. New haircut?" Peeta asked as Katniss slid off his lap.

"Yea, yea, yea, done gawking?" He snapped, glaring at Effie who was sporting a self-satisfied smile. "You," he pointed to Katniss, "need to get dressed. You'll be up soon. Which means you," he looked at Peeta, "need to come with us."

Katniss kissed Peeta gently on the lips before he got off the small couch. "Where will you be?" She whispered.

"I'll be right off stage, next to Effie. You can do this."

She nodded and held his hand for as long as he could as he made his way out of the room with Effie and Haymitch. Cinna entered as soon as they left with a garment bag similar to the last interview. "Another fiery creation?" she asked, reaching for the bag.

"Not quite. You're aiming for sympathy, remember? So I went with something that should help make you look more innocent." He unzipped the bag and held out a cream dress with a knit overlay, similar to the pattern of the black dress he showed her at the cafe. The sleeves were long and loose, the neckline draped just at her collarbone, and the hem fell mid-thigh. "And maybe we'll make that bastard eat his words," Cinna added, slipping the dress over her head and handing her a pair of thigh-high, lace-up tan boots.

She didn't understand what he meant until he set a green laurel-headband into her curls and turned her into the full-length mirror. She knew Cinna had a magic touch, that was established with his 'girl on fire' look but standing in front of her was a totally different woman. She giggled at the first thought that entered her head at her appearance.

"In Green mythology, nymphs were regarded as divine spirits who were not restricted by societal norms and customs. That's what made them so appealing compared to average Greek women. The label has been bastardized since, as you know, but in their true form, they were the most natural and free creatures on earth."

"You made me a nymph?" She asked, pulling at the hem of the skirt.

"A dryad," he corrected. "A tree nymph, shy around most but with a voice that hypnotizes all who hear it." He adjusted a few strands of hair so they fell over her shoulder. A quiet knock at the door announced that she needed to make her way to the stage.

* * *

Katniss nervously shifted her weight as she stood backstage, listening to Caesar finish up an interview and tease the audience with his next, 'very special guest,' as if they didn't know what the point of this show really was. She took a few deep breaths in and out, suddenly wondering if she should have done her interview before her song so she could have used Caesar's banter to calm her nerves.

On the other side of the stage, she could see Cinna, Effie, and Peeta chatting with one another. Cinna looked to be complimenting something about Effie's dress because he gingerly touched her ridiculous shoulders and she'd wave him off with a blush. Peeta looked across and mimicked being sick from their conversation. She snorted then quickly covered her mouth when someone from the show walked past.

She looked up and found him looking back at her. 'You ok?' he mouthed.

'I will be.'

He winked. 'You look beautiful.'

She raised one shoulder and smirked. She wondered if Cinna explained the look to the rest of them. She felt a hand rest on her shoulder and tore her eyes from Peeta to find Haymitch standing behind her.

"Ready, Sweetheart?"

She looked back onstage where Caesar's prep team was dashing off stage. This was it.

"Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back! Now, I've been teasing you about my next guest all night long, haven't I?" He asked with a wide smile. "The time has come, this is the moment we've been waiting for since her last appearance. Now, I've had the opportunity to hear her single and, let me be the first to predict that it'll be a big hit for this young lady. So here she is, making her debut as a solo artist and performing her first single, is Miss Katniss Everdeen!"

The crowd roared and she felt Haymitch give her shoulder a slight squeeze. She walked nervously over to the wooden stool that was provided in the middle of the performance stage and adjusted the microphone down to her level. "Thank you, Caesar," she said quietly, taking a moment to familiarize herself with how her voice sounded in the room. Even with her earpiece, designed to drown out the outside noise and only allow her to hear the music, she couldn't help but notice how foreign she sounded on a microphone.

She looked over her shoulder at Peeta who was watching her intently. She heard the first few notes on the guitar and pulled her gaze away. She told him everything on the way back from Leevy's and he somehow waded through it all and synthesized it into a coherent flow. He knew the lows of her and Gale. But it didn't mean she could look at him while she sang about it. So when she heard the acoustic guitar count her in, she pulled her eyes from his and focused on her hands in her lap, wrapping and unwrapping her fingers around themselves.

 _I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall_  
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call  
It's just another call from home  
And you'll get it and be gone  
And I'll be crying 

Her voice was unsure and her hands were shaking, despite how firmly they were being held by each other. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe she still had time to stop and do the other song. The other song that didn't remind her of the utter mistake that's been her life for the past two years.

 _And I'll be begging you, baby_  
Beg you not to leave  
But I'll be left here waiting  
With my heart on my sleeve  
Oh, for the next time we'll be here  
Seems like a million years  
And I think I'm dying 

The end of that note bounced around the audience but all she could focus on was not allowing herself to cry.

_What do I have to do to make you see  
She can't love you like me?_

Katniss hated that line because more than any other, it showed how far in she had gotten. She believed this at one point, and had actually said those words to Gale on more than one occasion.

 _Why don't you stay?_  
I'm down on my knees  
I'm so tired of being lonely  
Don't I give you what you need?  
When she calls you to go  
There is one thing you should know  
We don't have to live this way  
Baby, why don't you stay 

She would never be able to accurately explain what she was feeling onstage in that moment. Anger at Gale, guilt from Leevy, disappointment from...well the list of people who were disappointed in her was probably too long to start. She was no longer nervous, though the emotions of this experience that were bubbling up weren't necessarily any better.  
Katniss looked up into the audience and saw she had their complete and undivided attention. Over to her left she could make out her team out of her peripheral, the blond of Peeta's hair, the darkness of Cinnas's trademark outfit, and the ridiculous center of it all in Effie.  
She turned her head to the right and saw him. Sitting on a stool identical to her own, a few paces behind her, was Haymitch, focusing on the guitar in his hands. She had never seen him play before, and while age and liquor had taken their toll on his dexterity, she had to admit it was awe-inspiring to be able to see the legend for herself.

He looked up at her once. His coal-grey eyes which were usually a bit muted were now glistening, not from alcohol, but from the moment. He didn't move, only fixated on her, a silent command to keep going.

 _You keep telling me, baby_  
There will come a time  
When you will leave her arms  
And forever be in mine  
But I don't think that's the truth  
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting

The tears were threatening. A deep, silent breath kept them at bay.

 _It's too much pain to have to bear_  
To love a man you have to share.  
Why don't you stay?  
I'm down on my knees  
I'm so tired of being lonely  
Don't I give you what you need  
When she calls you to go  
There is one thing you should know  
We don't have to live this way  
Baby, why don't you stay

That look in Haymitch's eye was for her. And now, because of, or despite of, the mixed thoughts in her head, she knew she had to continue. She knew her mentor and Effie and Cinna and Peeta were right when they said she could be that spark for other people. She heard her voice grow stronger and louder, for all the times she had been so weak and quiet, for the years she spent believing that what Gale gave her was the most she deserved. 'You deserve so much more than that.' And as she sang the bridge, she didn't fight the tears that now spilled from her eyes.

 _I can't take it any longer_  
But my will is getting stronger  
And I think I know just what I have to do  
I can't waste another minute  
After all that I've put in it  
I've given you my best  
Why does she get the best of you?

She tried not to grimace. Just like in the studio, her voice cracked at that note.

 _So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine..._  
Why don't you stay  
I'm up off my knees  
I'm so tired of being lonely  
You can't give me what I need  
When she begs you not to go  
There is one thing you should know  
I don't have to live this way  
Baby, why don't you stay.

Haymitch played her out, and she released an audible sigh of relief as soon as she knew the microphones had been cut off. She used her thumb to wipe her cheeks. The sound in her earpiece went dead and was replaced by a thunderous applause. Haymitch was suddenly behind her, his hand on her shoulder and she covered it with hers. He leaned down and gruffly whispered, "Nice job, Sweetheart."

"Hard part's done, right?"

"You wish."

She laughed and wiped one last tear from her face. "Guess I should go do my interview now, huh?" She slipped off the stool and strode over to where Caesar was standing beside his desk with a wide smile and open arms. When she reached him, he surprised her by wrapping his arms around her shoulders and leading her to her seat.

Caesar allowed the audience to cheer for a few more minutes before he put his hands up to quiet them down. "That was something. Wasn't that something?" He addressed the crowd who, once again, began cheering and chanting her name. "Katniss Everdeen, you have a magnificent talent. Has anyone told you that?"

"Thank you, Caesar," she answered with a small smile.

"How did that feel, performing alone for the very first time on national television?"

She chuckled. "I'm glad I did it before talking to you, Caesar. Talk about pressure." This caused the audience to laugh and Caesar to clap his hands together enthusiastically. "But, no, I'm still recovering, to be honest."

"I would imagine so. That was quite the performance you gave. Very heart wrenching," he clutched his chest. "Very moving. Though that wasn't the song you originally planning to release as your first single, correct?"

She nodded. "I did record another song awhile ago and had been preparing that one for your show."

"And so what brought on the change? Because from what I understand, your original song had a very different story behind it."

Katniss had to hand it to Caesar to not bluntly bring up what everyone was really wanting to know but teasing it out as though he was sincerely interested in her song choice. "The original song was about starting fresh and letting go of the past, which was really symbolic of what my team and I were trying to do at the time. But, you know things change and we just had to roll with the punches."

"Things have indeed changed since your last appearance, Miss Everdeen. And we'll get to those things when we come back from this break." The audience let out a collective groan and Caesar laughed. "I'm such a tease, aren't I?"

The red light on the camera went out and Caesar's prep team reappeared. Katniss refocused her attention back on her hands. She knew Caesar would ease her into talking about her relationship with Gale but she'd be lying if she said she'd was looking forward to it. Before she knew it, the show was back on.

"Now, Miss Everdeen, I hope you know how much it pains me to bring up the sensitive subject of the last week or so..."

She wanted to roll her eyes. 'I'm sure it's ridiculously painful. For you,' she thought. Instead she smiled. "Oh, Caesar, I just did the most terrifying thing of my life, I think I can handle some questions. Fire away."

He gave her an impressed nod and shuffled a few of the note cards on his desk. "Tell me about the song you just sang. I imagine that was difficult for you."

"Incredibly."

"Did you have any idea, when Mr. Hawthorne announced he was having a press conference, what he was planning on talking about?"

She looked over Caesar's shoulder to the side of the stage that her team had moved over to. Effie gave a slight shake of her head. 'Ah. So Haymitch wasn't kidding when he said she had to do some arm twisting.' Katniss sighed. "It caught us all off guard. Um, luckily, I was able to have my wonderful team around me during and they were a great support."

"I know this may be tough, but we're going to replay a section of his press conference, to give everyone some context." He reached over and patted her hand before cueing someone. The window behind them transformed into an image of Gale sitting in front of a mirage of microphones.

Panicked, she shot quick glances backstage. Apparently neither Haymitch nor Effie knew this was going to happen and they had both quickly cornered two separate interns. Katniss' lips twitched at the extreme horror on those interns' faces as Haymitch appeared to be threatening bodily harm to one and Effie surrounded the other in a turquoise storm cloud. Even Cinna looked troubled, wringing his hands and searching back stage for something.

'You can do this' she saw Peeta's lips tell her. His eyes were locked on hers and even from across the stage, she could detect the darker blue edge that came when he was hyper-aroused. He was upset but kept repeating 'you can do this' to her.

Gale's voice filled the stage. "Thanks, Alma. And thank you all for coming out today. For the past two years I've been incredibly fortunate to be able to follow my dream with my band mates in 'D12'. We've had experiences I could only dream about as a child. I was raised by a single mom with four younger siblings, so the life goal of being a musician never seemed possible.

"My mom worked 12 hour days doing backbreaking work to help pay for my dream. She taught me everything I know about dedication, family, and honor. I have tried to live my life to make her and my little brothers and sister proud." He swallowed and took a hard breath. Katniss gave him credit, once again, for his moving approach. The story about his mother was true, or at least was the same story he told her. His father was a deadbeat who finally ran off for good when his mother was pregnant with his youngest sister; he was rarely around even before then. "Unfortunately, I've discovered that I'm more like my father than I wanted to admit. I've experienced a lot in the past two years, but they've changed me, turned me into a man I don't recognize anymore. There are temptations all around us and one night I gave into them. From that night until a month ago, when the band broke up, I continued to have a sexual affair with my close friend and band-mate, Katniss Everdeen., despite being engaged and eventually married to a different woman.

"I never imagined myself being the type of man who could hurt his wife this badly. I love you, Leevy, and I'm a weak fool who got caught up in another woman's lust. I can only hope you can begin to forgive me and we can pick up the pieces of our relationship that I shattered by lying to you and not being the faithful man I vowed to be."  
It didn't matter that Katniss had already seen his announcement multiple times. It still felt like he plunged a knife into her chest and kept twisting. The press conference continued past that point but she thanked her lucky stars Caesar didn't choose to play any additional clips of Gale insinuating that

Katniss initiated the affair and he was just a helpless victim. If she was on the verge of losing it now, she was certain hearing him use those words about her again would do her in.

"I must commend you for watching that with us, Miss Everdeen. I can't imagine what's running through your head," Caesar commented.

"It wasn't easy," Katniss confirmed. "But most of the things that happen in our lives that cause us to grow aren't. I'm not particularly proud of myself for my ... relationship ... with Gale, as he obviously isn't either."

"Did you know he was engaged when you two began your tryst?"

She laughed softly. "Gale and I first met in school."

_Every spring the private music academy Katniss attended threw a party to celebrate another successful crop of graduates. Everyone was invited, underclassmen, current graduates, alumni, but until she graduated, she never went. It wasn't a college like most people would imagine, there were no set amount of semesters or credits, it was all performance based. Students trained with instructors until they were deemed ready for their final showcase where, if they passed, they could graduate that term. If not, they simply returned to their instruction until the following term._

_She was 20 when she passed her showcase, playing a mixture of classical, improv, and contemporary pieces for her committee and the handful of audience members who must have had nothing better to do that afternoon. She relied on her show choir experience to help quell her nerves and she didn't stumble until she caught sight of a pair of grey eyes so familiar, she could swear she saw a ghost. That one missed note cost her a perfect score._

_'You lack concentration, Everdeen.' She nearly dropped her cup of punch when he came up behind her._

_Scowling, she kept her gaze forward, surveying the scene. 'Eh, who wants to be perfect?'_

_'I was.'_

_'You missed three points, Hawthorne.' She overheard one of her committee members speaking to him after her recital and she immediately looked up his score. 'Do you usually listen to bass showcases on Wednesday afternoons or were you particularly bored today?'_

_'I'm looking to form a band. Got your name from ol' Abernathy and thought I'd come down and see if you lived up to the hype.'_

_'And?'_

_'I'm still talking to you, aren't I?'_

_She finally turned to face him. Stories about Gale Hawthorne had been floating around the New York campus since she arrived. Not like the legendary Finnick Odair from the California campus, but everyone here knew the Hawthorne name and legacy. He had tied for the highest showcase score on campus until Katniss' performance. But more than that, his brooding good looks and unabashed rebellious spirit meant he could snare any girl he wanted._

_He reached into his pocket and handed her a slip of paper. 'If you're interested, give me a call.' He slipped off as quietly as he snuck up on her. She suddenly became interested in the things other girls said that involved Gale Hawthorne. None of which included a steady girlfriend, let alone fiancé or wife._

"At that time, I didn't know, no."

"And when you found out?"

"I was furious, as you could imagine. The band was still in the early stages, trying out members, writing songs, and Gale and I became friends. We had a lot in common and it was an easy match. I didn't think much of it when we never talked about romantic interests. We were friends but not those kind of friends. And when things changed for us, I didn't think to ask. I guess I just assumed we were both in the same place. I was naïve to so much and Gale had been my guide to the music business so I trusted him completely with everything."

Caesar rested his hands on his desk. "How long had you two been together when you found out?"  
She bit her lower lip. "Six months. We were on our first North American tour and we made a stop in Lexington. Things were different, but att the time I chalked it up to him being so close to home. I met her," she caught herself from emphasizing 'her' too much. "I met Leevy that night for the first time and when I caught sight of her ring, my heart broke."

She had tried to end things then. They got into a screaming match on the bus that night and it was the first, but not the last, that she told him to get out. And it was the first, but not last, time he walked away. It only lasted a few weeks, their fight, until he assured her that he loved her and wouldn't follow through with the wedding. But he did. And when he told her it was temporary, something he had to do, she believed him.

"Katniss, I think the one thing that everyone is wondering about right now is why you continued to believe him?"

It was the question she often grappled with herself. Logically, it made no sense. "Because love tends to make people do things they may not do otherwise." Peeta's words from the hospital spilled from her mouth. She caught his eye briefly, before her vision became clouded with tears.

"Miss Everdeen, I have one last question about this particular topic." Caesar placed his hands gently over hers and have them a light squeeze. She nodded and attempted to blink back the tears. "This song was, clearly, about your relationship with Mr. Hawthorne." She nodded again. "Why did you choose to tell your story like this?"

'Because Gale's the ass who brought it up in the first place and I couldn't let him win. Because I'd gain more sympathy this way. Because hopefully now women will stop yelling at me for being a home wrecker,' she thought instantly. 'The same reason Gale bothered to have his stupid press conference - for the boost in record sales.' Her eyes widen at the last thought. Was that true? The answer to who she was now lied in the reason she sang this song over her last one, despite Haymitch reassuring her that she didn't have to. If she had agreed to sing the song only to sell more copies of her album, she was despicable. If she was doing it because it was her retaliation to Gale, she could still be seen as selfish, but somewhat forgivable. But if it was for a deeper reason, then maybe she was someone of worth.

"I'm not proud of what I've done, Caesar," she answered. "But I don't believe I'm alone in my scenario. I fell in love with someone. Yes, that someone was married and yes, I knew it was wrong and selfish, but I was in love. My first love, who I would have done anything for. He promised us a life together and I bought into that fantasy because he promised me love. I think there are too many people out there who have sacrificed major parts of themselves for the promise of love from someone that wasn't right for them. And we're brandished as home wreckers and bitches and a host of other words that I'm sure I can't say on television," she gave a light chuckle. "But we've been wronged, too, in a way. And our story needs to be told. We all need to know that we deserve better than that. We deserve happiness from ourselves and from those who can give it to us unconditionally."

"Do you believe you'll find that person, Katniss?"

She knew Peeta was watching her, intently, for her answer. "I do. And I hope Leevy finds it too."  
Haymitch smirked in approval. "Told you she was the best choice," he whispered in Effie's ear backstage.

"I never doubted you, Haymitch," she answered, resting her fingers on his forearm.

"We all wish you the best of luck with finding that person, Miss Everdeen. I have no reason to believe you can't." He gave her hand another squeeze before turning back to the audience. "When we come back, we've got the hottest new chef on the block to show us a few of his latest creations. You won't want to miss this!"

The audience, which had remained surprisingly quiet during her interviewed roared to life as he cued them out for commercials.

"That was incredibly brave of you, Katniss," Caesar commented before his team arrived, "turning on your former band-mate like that."

"He started it," she muttered and he let out a boisterous laugh.

"That he did, Miss Everdeen. Though I believe you may have finished it."

She thanked him and stood to leave when she was picked up and spun around. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. 'Peeta.' She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He set her back on her feet and pressed his lips passionately against hers. She opened her mouth slightly to allow his tongue entrance, and gave a content sigh. She was lost in this moment, his arms around her body, his scent invading her nose; every single one of her senses full of Peeta. It wasn't until they heard a cough of that they pulled apart. As they did, they noticed Caesar smiling at them brightly and the audience whispering to one another.

He patted Peeta on the shoulder. "Don't worry, the cameras weren't on."

Katniss tried not to laugh as every inch of Peeta's face turned red. He had quite obviously forgotten that they were on a stage in front of an audience for the biggest show in the country. "Sorry, Caesar," she said with a sheepish smile. "We'll get out of you way." She grabbed Peeta's hand and dragged him off stage as he mumbled a 'sorry' to everyone he passed. Once they were safely off stage, she pulled him close to her and kissed him again. They pulled apart and she rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths. "All done?" She whispered.

"All done," he whispered back.

"Thank God!" She exclaimed, letting her head fall back so she was looking up at the ceiling. Peeta laughed and turned her around so her back was pressed against his chest and clasped his hands together around her waist. "What's next?"

Effie, who was trying to inconspicuously dab her eyes, looked at Haymitch. "As you know, there is normally a bit of a wrap party after these, but we've been talking and think that maybe that's not the best idea for the moment."

Katniss looked between the adults of the group. "What does that mean?"

"It means you two better not do anything stupid," Haymitch grumbled. When Katniss' face indicated that she didn't understand, he let out a heavy sigh. "You're free to do whatever you want."

She craned her neck to look at Peeta and cocked an eyebrow. "What do you want to do tonight?"

"Oh God," Haymitch moaned, dramatically, waving them off and walking toward the exit.

"Haymitch!" Katniss called, wiggling free of Peeta's arms. She trotted over to her mentor and threw her arms around his neck. He stumbled a bit, obviously caught off guard by her sudden action, but he recovered and awkwardly patted her back. "Thank you," she said, giving his cheek a quick kiss.

"Anytime, Sweetheart," he answered. She couldn't quite read the expression in his voice but his eyes were shining again, like when he was onstage. "Get out of here, you two. Enjoy your night together." He pushed her slightly back toward Peeta and sauntered off, Effie trailing behind him, rolling her eyes. Cinna gave her a hug and followed not long after.

She turned back to Peeta. "I want to run back to the green room to grab my clothes. I'll meet you back here, that way you can watch this renowned chef and tell me how wrong everything he does is."

Peeta laughed. "I'm not a chef, Katniss, I bake. Totally different." He kissed her when she scowled at him then gave her ass a quick pop to send her on her way.

It didn't take her long to get back to her greenroom. She found the clothes she was wearing earlier had been folded neatly on the couch and as she went to grab them, something on the small side-table caught her eye. A single white rose. She picked it up and turned it over in her hands.

"Hello, Katniss," a voice called from behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Cliff-hanger! No smut! What?! There was smut written. Elevator smut. Scandalous, I know, but it didn't fit with the rest of the story. Yet. Don't worry, elevator smut will happen. And you can all hold me to that. Sorry for the delay, again. Hopefully the length helps make up for that.
> 
> The song was probably the most obvious choice for this scenario but it fit. And, frankly, I really like the song and always have. "Stay" was originally performed by Sugarland and written by Jennifer Nettles. For those who don't know, it was written by Nettles to be a unique perspective of infidelity, since there weren't very many songs like that, especially in country music, where songs are written from the jilted lover point of view. If you've never actually heard the song, look it up and watch the official video. Gets me every time.
> 
> I don't own the Hunger Games or the characters. The quote where Katniss is trying to figure out her reasoning was adapted from her trying to figure out why she held out the berries in Catching Fire.
> 
> Next chapter: Who is this mysterious person in her dressing room? What is the fallout of Katniss 'turning on her former band-mate'? And what's next for our star-crossed lovers? (Honestly, whenever I read these types of AN's, in other stories, I read them in Rocky and Bullwinkle style...)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - even though it's somewhat vague, there is talk of physical abuse in this chapter (along with some emotional abuse).

Katniss nearly dropped the rose in her hand at his voice. She didn't know what kind of reception she'd get; things didn't exactly end friendly the last time they were in the same room together and then all this Gale nonsense happened. "Hello, Finnick."

"Want a sugar cube?"

She turned her body and finally saw him, tall, bronze, disgustingly handsome, and leaning against the door frame. He propped himself up by his elbow and in his other hand was a stalk of what looked like tree bark. Sugar cane. He tried it the first time they were in Hawaii and it became a staple in his diet ever since. "How do you still have teeth, Pretty Boy?"

He winked. "Best dentures money can buy." That wink sent most girls running to change into dry panties but only made Katniss roll her eyes. "How have you been, KitKat?"

"KitKat? That's bad, Odair," she countered. "You've lost your touch."

Finnick clutched at his chest. "Way harsh, Katniss." Then he smiled, "I knew that 'self-deprecating girl' was just an act. This is the Katniss Everdeen I've come to know and love " His smile widened and became more sincere. He pushed himself off the door frame and bounded toward her, hugging her and swinging her in the air. "How the hell have you been, Kiddo?"

Finnick's boyish charm and flirtatious nature, was completely opposite of her and Gale. Originally it was totally off-putting but after he grew on her, she realized whoever nailed him down would get the best husband and father a girl could hope for. He set her down and took a seat on the couch.

She gave him a look and joined him. "Don't act like you haven't been keeping up on all this. You can't turn on a news show without hearing something about this mess."

He slung his arm over her shoulder. "Katniss, I didn't ask what you've been up to. Please. Johanna and I knew that was going to blow up in someone's face eventually." When she let her head hang, he chuckled. "I'm more concerned with HOW you've been doing. And don't give me a 'Caesar Flickerman' answer, young lady."

"How do you think I'm handling it?" She snapped a little harsher than she meant to.

"Don't do that. We've been worried about you. I know you can put on a happy face almost as convincing as the rest of us."

Katniss looked up at him, a sad smile on his face. She and Finnick weren't as close as Finnick and Johanna or her and Gale, but they had their moments. He confessed to her once that he hadn't had the best childhood but learned early on how to fake it so no one would think to ask. He told her she was doing the same thing, faking her happiness, but not as well. 'Don't worry, Kitty Kat, I've had a lot more practice.' He had the same smile then as he did now.

She sighed. "I never thought he'd tell anyone. I wasn't exactly prepared to talk about it. Hell, I didn't talk about it to anyone, even when it was happening. And now, now everyone knows everything."

"You did good today, Katniss," he said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "I almost didn't believe it was you out there."

She snorted. "I know, I know, no one ever knew I could sing."

"Nah, it wasn't that," he said. "I knew Haymitch wouldn't have taken you on if you weren't talented. It was your vulnerability."

"Like it's so surprising that it upsets me that Gale called me the 'sexual napalm' that destroyed his marriage."

"It's not. But most people would have tried to pull a Johanna if they were in your situation."

"Attacked him with a pick ax?" She snorted.

"Metaphorically. You could have, and probably should have, gone on the defensive and called him out for being the low-life scum that he is." He smiled and knocked his shoulder against hers. "But you took the higher road and made it less about him and more about you. Jo sends her best, by the way. I stopped by to check up on her yesterday."

"How's she doing?" She and Johanna weren't friends. At all. She never really understood why the older girl didn't like her. Sometimes, when it was just the three of them, Katniss, Johanna, and Finnick, she was borderline nice, which only confused Katniss more. When she asked Gale about it, he told her not to even waste a thought on Johanna, that she was just a cold bitch who didn't like other girls. Gale's affinity was mutual.

"Oh you know Jo," he sighed. "She's starting with that new band so her alpha female is rearing." Katniss' face of disgust must have registered because he laughed again.

"You two have a lot more in common than you think."

She scoffed. "Please."

"Really. If you hadn't been with Gale I think you two could have actually been friends." He pulled her braid, teasingly, and she swatted his hand away. "Alright, maybe not friends but definitely not mortal enemies."

She rolled her eyes. "How long are you in town for?"

"Just passing through. We get a few weeks off shooting so I figured I'd go visit Mags." Mags was Finnick's grandmother. When he was 14 he ran away from home and ended up in Baton Rouge, at her doorstep. She didn't ask any questions when she took him in but eventually was the one who got him to turn on his dad and uncle. She had a stroke when he was in school and he somehow bargained his way to have the Capitol help pay for her to move closer to the Anaheim campus. Katniss knew, by the way he talked about her, that she was the first person he deeply loved and probably the only woman in his life who loved him unconditionally. He said he never settled down because Mags hadn't approved of any of his selections, but as soon as she did, he'd marry that girl on the spot. "What about you? Any plans on going home?"

She smirked. "This is home, Finn."

"You know what I mean. I'm sure your sister misses you. When was the last time you saw her?"

"In person? Um...she came to graduation."

"Katniss."

Once, when they were fighting, Gale accused her of wanting Finnick over him. She laughed at him, which only pissed him off further, but he was so far off she had to assume he was joking. True, Finnick Odair was the epitome of gorgeous; he was, by every definition of the phrase, walking sex. It oozed out of his pores with such ease and he used it as much as he could, but she was never interested in him. He was too easy to get. And too easy to lose. So instead, he became like an older brother to her. She trusted Finnick to tell her what she needed to hear rather than what she wanted to, but in a way that didn't make her feel like trash, like Johanna.

She sighed. "She's in school now, Finn, at UMass. She's got her life and I can't disrupt that. She's better off this way."

"Whatever you say." He said with a resigned voice. She had a retort on the tip of her tongue when he smiled brightly. "So, Girl on Fire, tell me about you boy wonder. Peeta, right?"

She blushed furiously and felt her cheeks tighten as she smiled. "Um, he's..."

"So dreamy?" Finnick finished in a mocking voice. She punched his arm and he put his hands up in defeat. "Alright, not 'so dreamy' then. Haymitch says he's a bit of a wonderkin when it comes to lyrics."

Katniss nodded. "Yes. Peeta...gets things. He could easily turn the world with his words. But not just that. He's got an eye for beauty I'll never understand." She didn't notice the way Finnick was watching her. She couldn't see what he saw – the way she smiled as soon as he said Peeta's name, how her eyes came to life as she talked about his paintings, all the silent cues of how hard she had fallen for him. The last bit Finnick knew she'd have a hard time admitting, especially now.

"I'm happy for you," he said, gently resting his head against hers. Big brother.

"Enough mushy Katniss - Finnick time. What's going on with you, you big movie star?"

He wrinkled his nose. "Big movie star? Please. I have a supporting role in a B-level horror film about mutant lizards with a taste for human flesh. They haven't even sent us all the final script."

"So you have no idea what happens at the end of your own movie?"

"Nope, apparently it's all 'part of the magic.' But," he added with a waggle of his eyebrows, "a little birdie told me my character gets to bang the hottest chick on set. So that's a plus."

Katniss' eyes widened and she stifled a laugh.

"What?"

"You don't know what happens but you get to have sex?" She said, unable to stop laughing.

"Right. Why is that funny?"

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "Finn, how many times did Johanna make us watch horror movies on the bus?"

He shuddered. "Not as many as she made me watch when you were busy."

"Shut up, Finn!" She smacked him again. "We made up rules, remember?"

"Oh yea. How to survive if you're ever in a horror movie."

"Rule 1: never separate," she supplied.

"Rule 2: never follow strange smells, sounds, or figures."

"And rule 3, the most important one, don't, under any circumstance-"

"-have sex. Fuck. I'm going to die in this movie, aren't I?" He asked, actually sounded upset about it.

She rubbed his back. "I'm afraid so, Odair. But, at least you get to screw the hottest girl on set," she reminded him with a smile.

"Sex is DEFINITELY not worth it!" He dramatically cried, covering his face with his hands. When he peeked through his fingers, Katniss couldn't hold back anymore and let the laughter rip through her.

"Do you promise to call me the moment you find out how it's gonna happen?"

"Nope. Not now that you've ruined the ending for me. You'll have to wait for the direct-to-DVD release to find out."

"Be sure to send me an invite."

He threw his arm around her again and pulled her next to him. "I'm proud of you, Katniss." Then he planted a sloppy kiss on her temple. And though she pretended to fight against it, in realty she was glad he had come by and had missed him in the short time they were apart. While the band's dynamic wasn't always healthy or functional, they were the only family they had for two years. "You should have dressed like this more often. You're almost as good looking as me. Look at those legs." He grabbed her both of her calves in one hand and held them up in front of him. He made a show of eyeing them up and down before letting out an obnoxious wolf whistle.

"Aw, Finn, you say that to all the girls."

"Just the hot ones," he answered with a wink, dropping her legs over his lap.

"Why Mr Odair, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to get into my pants. Or...up my skirt." She mimicked the silly girls that Finn usually hit on and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "You know I'm a two drink minimum."

"Katniss?"

Katniss and Finnick both looked to the door and she slid her legs off of Finnick. "Hey, Peeta."

Finnick smiled and bounced off the couch over to Peeta. "So you're the Peeta Mellark I've heard so much about!" He exclaimed, looking over his shoulder at Katniss. He held his hand out and when Peeta reached for it, Finnick pulled him in for a hug.

"Umph. Yea. That's me," Peeta answered, trying to recover from the unexpected embrace.

"I'm Finnick," he announced with a bright smile.

"Finnick Odair," Peeta said slowly, recognizing him. He looked over to where Katniss was still sitting on the couch. "Yea, hey, how are you doing?"

She watched the two exchange small talk like they had known each other their whole lives. She stood and walked behind Finnick who, though happily chatting with Peeta, had a wide stance and constantly shifted to stay as in front of Katniss as possible. His shoulders were pushed slightly back, giving him the appearance of being bigger than he really was. The hand Peeta wasn't using to tell a story was shoved into his pocket and he leaned slightly against the door.

Katniss slipped past Finnick and stood by Peeta, wrapping her hands around his waist and resting her head on his chest. She loved the feeling of his voice as it vibrated throughout his body. He rested an arm over her shoulder. "You ready to head out?" He murmured into her ear after he kissed her temple.

Finnick nodded. "It was good to meet you, Peeta." He held his hand out and Peeta hesitantly reached for it, which made Katniss and Finnick both snicker.

Katniss peeled away from Peeta and pulled Finnick in for a hug. "I'm glad you stopped by."

"Like I'd miss all this excitement?" He laughed and held her tightly. "You take care of yourself, you hear me? No more 'stress-related breakdowns' or anything."

"Yes, sir," she joked.

When they released each other, he knocked her chin affectionately. "I should be swinging back in a few weeks, maybe I can get Johanna to come out with us. You know, a mini reunion. She'd like Peeta."

Katniss bit her bottom lip nervously at the suggestion.

"Oh relax. She'll be fine without the asshole around," he added, sensing her hesitation. "Besides, remember, we're rooting for you. Both of us."

"Yea ok," she mumbled.

Finnick clapped his hands loudly. "Fantastic! I'll set everything up and it'll be just like old times! I'll let you two get onto whatever you're going to do today," he winked at Peeta who smirked to hide his blush. "I'm sure Mags is wondering where I'm at. Actually, she probably isn't. Crazy old bird."

Katniss laughed and gave Finnick another hug. "Have fun, Odair."

"You too. Oh, and Katniss?" He leaned his head down so his lips were next to her ear. "He's keeping his eye on you, on both of you. Especially after tonight. Don't falter now."

She crinkled her brow and he just nodded his head back toward the couch where the single white rose was now laying. "Snow?" she asked quietly. He nodded solemnly before leaving the room, pulling another stalk of sugar cane from his pocket .

Dread began filling her body and she felt her stomach clench. Nothing about that man ever made her feel safe. She shook her head and took Peeta's hand. "Let's go. I'm hungry"

"No way," he answered in mock surprise.

"Take out?"

"And pass the opportunity to show off the legs that Finnick Odair drooled over?"

She snapped her head up but was relieved to see him smile. "Sorry. Sometimes Finn doesn't know his boundaries. He's harmless."

Peeta shrugged. "If you wanted him back I wouldn't stand much of a chance."

"What do you mean 'back'? Finnick's like my brother."

He took their interlocked fingers and draped them over her shoulder so she was almost directly in front of him. "Oh, Katniss," he said, kissing the side of her temple.

She rolled her eyes. It was borderline ridiculous how much every guy thought Finnick's flirtation with her was sincere. She expected Peeta to keep pushing it, accusing her and Finnick of being more than just friends since her bare legs were resting on his and their ridiculous flirtations.

Instead they were standing in front of a diner that supposedly had the best burgers in the state. They had been walking down the street, taking advantage of the fact that it was Sunday and most people were having dinner and weren't out. Katniss rolled her eyes when Peeta suggested "Greasy Sae's Place" but her stomach let out an obnoxious grumble so he said it was a sign.

They stood searched for a table and she noticed the entire place fell silent. The only noise was the occasional clank of silver wear and the program playing on the television. 7:35. The clip of Gale's press conference was ending and the cameras refocused on her as Caesar continued their interview with her. As soon as her spot was over, the noise in the diner returned, the whispers began swirling as all the patrons' eyes turned to her.

Peeta's hand on her hip tightened and she felt herself lean back slightly against his chest. "We can go," he said quietly into her ear. "I wasn't even thinking about what time it would be before we finally got out of there."

Katniss swallowed hard and began to nod when she felt a slight tug on her dress. She looked down at a young girl, no older than 6, with curly red hair that was flying wildly about her pale face. "Excuse me?"

Katniss squatted down so she was eye-level with the girl. "Yes?"

"Are you Katniss Everdeen?" The girl asked nervously.

"Yeah, it's me."

The expression on her face can only be described as pure joy as she launched her tiny body at Katniss and tightly wrapped her arms around Katniss' neck. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe it's actually you!"

"Adrianna!" A woman snapped. "Leave that woman alone."

The girl immediately pulled away from Katniss with a horrified look on her face. "But, Momma," the girl whined. "It's Katniss Everdeen!"

"I don't care who it is, young lady. I'm sure you're being extremely disruptive. I'm sure 'Katniss Everdeen' would like to be able to eat her dinner without little girls running up to her." An older woman, presumably Adrianna's mother, walked up to where the little girl was still next to Katniss. "I'm so sorry," she said in a less harsh voice. "She was watching the program and saw you come in and I couldn't stop her in time."

"Oh, it's ok," Katniss said quietly.

Adrianna looked up at her with a big smile, complete with a missing front tooth. "You're my favorite, Katniss Everdeen."

Katniss gave her an incredulous look. "Your favorite?"

"Her older sisters are, well, were, big fans of _District 12_. Though that may be due to the boys in the band."

"But not me. I like you the best, Katniss Everdeen," Adrianna said, hugging Katniss again.

"Why me?" Katniss asked, more to herself.

"Because you're so pretty. And I like your hair," Adrianna answered, as though it was the most obvious answer in the world. "It's better than mine. My sisters like to make fun of mine because it's so bright." She pulled slightly on her curl and made a disgusted face.

_"You look beautiful," said Prim in a hushed voice._

_"And nothing like myself," Katniss answered. They were sitting on a bench at the train station, waiting for the train that would whisk Katniss away to New York City to start training at the academy. Her mother insisted that she look somewhat presentable for the trip, so rather than her worn jeans and comfortable sneakers, she was in a cornflower blue sundress and black flats that pinched her toes. Katniss thought it was ridiculous because she was just going to wear whatever she wanted for the remainder of time she was at school but her mother wouldn't hear it._

_Prim reached out and gingerly touched one of the smaller braids her mother was pinning up. "I wish I looked like you."_

_"Oh shush, Little Duck. Remember, you're the tragically beautiful sister and I'm the beautifully tragic one," Katniss answered, poking her sister in the ribs until she giggled._

_"Momma, do you think you could do my hair like this for picture day?"_

_Their mother sighed. "Primrose, we've tried before, remember. This style would never hold with your thin hair. You'd need thicker hair, like Katniss'. We'll do something different."_

_Katniss watched her sister's eyes well up and before she could stop her, Prim ran as fast as she could from the bench into the terminal building. She snapped her head away from her mother's hands. "Why did you have to say that?" She hissed, chasing after her sister._

_She found Prim hiding underneath a table in the station cafe, with her knees pressed against her chest and her face buried. "Little Duck?" She crawled underneath the table next to her sister. "What's going on, Prim? You've never acted like this before."_

_"I'm...going...to...miss...you," she sniffled._

_"Oh, sweetie, I'm going to miss you too."_

_Prim scrambled into Katniss' lap and rested her head on her sister's chest as Katniss stroked her hair. "You want to hear a secret, Primmy?"_

_"Uh huh."_

_"I was always jealous of you."_

_Prim raised her head. " Me?"_

_"Yep. You look just like Mom. I remember thinking she was so pretty and how much I wish I looked like her and not like plain old me. When you were first born I was so mad that you had Mom's hair that I threw a fit and tried to cut it all off one night."_

_"You did?" She giggled._

_"Yep. Daddy caught me with the kitchen sheers before I could get to you and gave me a good wallop for it." She tugged on one of Prim's braided pig-tails. "He said it was my job as a big sister to take care of you."_

_"You look like him, you know."_

_Katniss felt a lump form in her throat. She knew that was part of why her mother poured herself into work; she couldn't stand to look at the daughter who reminded her too much of her lost husband. Katniss couldn't blame her for that. The dark hair, gray eyes, high cheekbones, olive skin, fierce attitude, they were all reminiscent of James Everdeen. And they hurt both women in ways that nothing else ever could. It was a blessing that Prim resembled their mother more, maybe now she'd actually be able to have a mother._

_"Attention, ladies and gentlemen. Train 247 to New York will be arrive shortly. Please have your tickets ready for boarding." The announcement over the intercom made them both sigh at the inevitable._

_"Walk me to the train?" They crawled out from the table and walked hand in hand to the bench where their mother was sitting, wringing her hands._

_As the train approached, Prim clung tightly to Katniss' waist. "You won't forget about me, will you, Katniss?"_

_"Never, Little Duck." She promised. "But you have to promise to be good for Mom, ok? And do your homework. And brush your teeth. And don't kiss the first boy who tries to kiss you."_

_"Katniss!" Prim groans._

_"Just, promise me, Prim?" Katniss could hear her voice cracking._

_"I promise."_

_When they released one another, Katniss felt her mother reach for her wrist. She looked down at Prim who was watching the two intently, so she pulled the older woman in for a hug. "You, you be there for her, do you hear me? She deserves better."_

_"Katniss, you know I-"_

_"No," Katniss said sharply. "No excuses. She needs a mom more than I did. You can't abandon her."_

_"I won't. Don't, don't lose yourself in that world."_

_Katniss boarded the train and turned one last time to wave goodbye the two members of her family. The two people she loved, however strained that love may be._

_"Katniss!" Prim cried out and ran toward the train before their mother could grab her. Katniss stepped off the train, much to the chagrin of the conductor who was making his rounds. "Do good out there, Katniss. Be the best student ever."_

_"Oh, Prim, there are going to be so many students. Kids who have been preparing for this all their lives."_

_"You're really talented, probably more talented than anyone else. Try?"_

_"I'll try." She hugged her sister and planted one last kiss on the top of her head. "No more thinking you're not beautiful, ok?"_

_"Ok. I love you."_

_"Love you too, Little Duck."_

Katniss ran her hand through the little girl's hair. "I like your hair."

"You do?"

"Yea, it's very pretty. And unique. Would you like me to braid it for you?"

There was that look again – joy. Her face lit up and she nodded, before turning back to her mother who sighed but shrugged her shoulders. Katniss quickly began running her fingers through the girl's red hair. It had been years since she helped Prim and this girl's hair was curlier than Prim's, but it only took a few attempts before she got it right."I'm going to use my hair tie but it's clean." She cocked her head once it was finished and smiled. "There you go."

The girl ran her hand over the braid and smiled. "Thank you."

"Of course. You know, sometimes big sisters get jealous of how different their baby sisters are. You tell yours that it's their job to take care of you, ok?"

Adrianna smiled and hugged Katniss one last time before bounding over to where her mother was still standing, obviously unimpressed with the scene. She grabbed Adrianna's arm and yanked her back to where the rest of the family was eating dinner, all of whom were trying too hard to focus on their food and not their mother and sister.

She couldn't keep her eyes off the family, even when she and Peeta were seated at a booth to look over the menus.

"You were good with her," Peeta said, finally breaking the silence, "that little girl. You were really nice to her. Almost un-Katniss like."

"She reminded me of my little sister," she responded, shifting her attention to the menu.

After a few minutes, he spoke again. "I feel bad for her."

"She'll survive. Prim hated her hair for years too. But that's normal, I think."

"Right."

They placed their order with the waitress and sat in an awkward silence. "You weren't talking about her hair were you?"

"Who?"

She tilted her head toward the little girl's family. "The girl, when you said you felt bad for her. You didn't mean her hair."

"No."

"What were you talking about?"

She noticed that his eyes were missing their usual sparkle. Before he could answer, the waitress set their plates down in front of them. "Don't worry about it," he said. "You must be starving."

She wanted to protest but he already began eating his burger so she did the same. Their dinner was constantly interrupted by other patrons who, having watched her interview and her interaction with the little girl, felt bold enough to ask for autographs on napkins or to tell her how brave she was or how relieved they were to find out they weren't the only ones who had fallen in love with someone unavailable.

Something happened while they were at the diner. Peeta, who was normally so charismatic and full of life, was quiet and reserved. No matter what Katniss did he assure her that he was fine. Not that she believed him. They watched Adriana's family leave the diner. Adriana waved enthusiastically at them and Katniss waved back.

Peeta watched Adriana's mother yank her out of the diner with such intensity he winced and turned away from the window, unwilling to see anymore because he knew what was going to happen. He berated himself for not doing anything. But when her mother's voice snapped out her name, he was paralyzed and could only watch as she grew more and more upset with her daughter. The memories he had fought so hard to repress came flooding back. He could all but feel her fingers digging into his arm.

"Oh my God!" Katniss gasped. She was looking out the window. She didn't miss the hard slap against Adriana's face. She pushed her chair back, fire raging in her eyes when Peeta gripped her arm.

"Don't. It's not going to make it better."

_"Chip!"_

_"Peeta," Graham caught him around the waist before the toddler could run to Chip's side. The brothers had been playing hide-and-seek in the department store while their mother shopped. Unfortunately, Chip wasn't paying attention and ran smack into their mother. She turned and gave him a look that only meant one thing. Graham tried to cover Peeta's eyes so he couldn't watch her slap Chip across the cheek, but he was too slow._

_Peeta unsuccessfully tried to wiggle free of his brother's grasp."Graham, we hafta help Chip!"_

_"It's not going to make it better, Peeta," Graham hissed, holding his baby brother closer to him to muffle his cries. If she found them they'd be in for a slap themselves. Thankfully, she had yet to lay a hand on the youngest child, but that was probably only because the older boys were around to protect him. As Graham tried to comfort the three-year old, he realized that Peeta's innocence had been completely shattered. He'd never be able to un-see what happened to his brother and he'd never be able to un-know what a monster their mother was._

"No, Peeta, you didn't see what that woman did!"

"Forehand or backhand?" He asked, staring at his empty plate.

"Forehand. How did you...oh, Peeta." She reached for his hand and rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He scoffed. "Because it's not exactly something you go around sharing with complete strangers, Katniss."

She pulled her hand away quickly and shook her head. "Right. I'm tired, I want to go home." She stood abruptly from the table, fished a handful of cash from her jacket pocket and stormed out of the diner, leaving her half-eaten burger still on the plate. The sun was beginning to set, cooling the air temperature, so she wrapped her arms around her waist and marched in the opposite direction.

Katniss heard Peeta's heavy footsteps behind her for at least three blocks before she allowed him to catch up to her. "We're not complete strangers, Peeta."

"I know."

"You don't trust me enough to tell me about your family."

"That's not it."

"Then what is it?" She refused to look back at him while they talked, still angry that he didn't bother to share anything with her when she had told him about her father. And they were strangers then. "You expect me to tell you things about my life but I can't expect the same from you?"

She tried to take another step when he reached out and gripped her arm. He spun her so she was standing toe to toe and facing him. "I spent my entire childhood making excuses for every bruise I couldn't hide." His voice was dangerously low and his eyes were darker than she had ever seen them before, even in the early twilight. "We never were allowed to have friends over because my father was afraid of anyone seeing one of her episodes. Once, when we were twelve, Delly fell asleep in my room and my mother caught us; I missed a week of school while my ribs healed well enough for me to move. I took the first opportunity I could to get out and I've never looked back. It's been seven years since I've seen anyone in my family because I'm too damn afraid of what she'd do. Want me to go on, tell you about every time she told me I was worthless and how I ruined her life? That I was never wanted and she only kept me because she didn't want the news traveling through our town that she had an abortion? Is that what you wanted me to tell you, Katniss?"

Peeta was shaking uncontrollably at this point, his eyes dropped to the ground. "I didn't tell you because I'm ashamed of what my life was. I never once stood up to her and instead of staying at home to protect my brothers and their families, I ran away. I became the coward she knew I was."

Katniss knew, probably better than anyone, that he didn't want her to tell him she was sorry for what he went through. Or that she understood. Her life may have been terrible but even she had to admit that losing a father was nothing compared to living with a monster for 18 years. And while her own mother focused on being a better nurse than mother, at least she never questioned the woman's love for her daughters. So she did the only thing she could think to do at the moment. She brought her lips against his softly.

She felt him try to move away so she increased the pressure against his mouth. The pair parted slightly, the tips of their noses brushing, lips ghosting over the others'. She closed gap, shutting her eyes tightly as her lips memorize the feel of his. His hands closed over her face and intensified the kiss.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I...I'm so sorry, Peeta. I shouldn't have pushed you."

The cathartic release had taken it's toll on him; he had been holding in every emotion about his childhood since he and Delly left for school. They both agreed to never actually talk about what happened in that small town. They knew too well what the other was running from. Whenever one would have a breakdown, the other instinctively knew what triggered it, though neither actually said the words.

She took his hand in hers and an idea struck her. She took a hard right, stopping only when they came upon a brick apartment complex. "I want to show you something." She pulled him into the lobby and stepped up the front desk where an older man seemed to have fallen asleep in front of a security monitor.

She rang the little bell and laughed as the man jumped out of his seat and sputtered. He rubbed his eyes and stared at her. "Well holy hell. Look who's decided to come back from the dead. Katniss Everdeen, is that really you?"

"It's me, Chaff. How you doing tonight?"

"Oh can't complain. Been pretty uneventful around these parts. Haven't had any noise complaints lately," he added with a wink that initiated a blush across Katniss' cheeks. Chaff was always the security guard who trudged up to her apartment after her fights with Gale. "What can I do for you tonight?"

"I, uh, I don't have my key to my apartment."

Chaff's snort almost made Peeta look around for Haymitch.

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Can you let me in?"

"Yea, yea, yea, come on." Chaff led them to the elevator and pressed the button with his one good arm. His story about what happened to his other changed every time someone was stupid, or curious, enough to ask so no one really knew what happened and why he never got a prosthetic.

They rode the elevator up to the top floor. While Chaff and Katniss talked, Katniss made sure to keep a firm grip on Peeta's hand. He hadn't said a word since his emotional outburst on the street and everything about him seemed to have dulled. It reminded her of when she saw him in the hospital a few weeks ago and all she wanted to do was bring the old Peeta back. Again.

Katniss thanked Chaff for letting her in, promising to bring her key next time and not disturb his nap. She led Peeta inside and closed the door, enveloping them in the pitch blackness of the room.

"Katniss?"

"I need a second." She squeezed his hand before leaning over and flipping the light switch, illuminating the apartment's spacious living room. The walls were a light beige color and the carpets were a few shades darker. The room itself wasn't decorated beyond the bare essentials, a couple couches with throw pillows, a coffee table, a television set. Katniss took a few minutes to just look around. Despite not living there in nearly six months, the entire place was spotless and clean. She started walking through the place, turning on the lights in every room, from the kitchen to the bathroom to the master bed. She paused in the doorway of her bedroom and leaned against the frame.

When Peeta rested his chin on her shoulder, she sighed. "Gale and I found this place together. It's in my name but I'm fairly certain he considered it just as much his as mine. Everyone thought we were friends so it wasn't a big deal when we went shopping for furniture or towels or anything else. Almost everything here was ours." She walked toward the bed and ran her hand over the untouched blankets. She let the thoughts of what this apartment was supposed to be enter her mind and she felt the pain of the situation rise again. She stripped everything off of it, violently throwing them on the floor, until only the mattress and uncovered pillows remained.

She dropped to her hands and knees and searched underneath the bed, pulling out a small brown package. "I bought these on our last tour." She held up a set of shiny, dark green sheets. "Gale hated them, said satin was only for tacky hotel rooms or prostitutes. That's why I mailed them home rather than bringing them." She pulled the sheets out and piled them up around her. "It's the first set of sheets I bought just for me." She silently set to work putting the sheets on the bed, while Peeta stayed in his spot in the doorway. She pulled a cream colored blanket out from under the bed to lay on top. "It's a step, I suppose," she said, admiring the newly made bed.

She opened a drawer on the nightstand and pulled out a simple silver picture frame. Sitting on the bed, she ran her finger over the glass.

He finally moved to sit next to her. "Your sister?"

"Prim, yea," she confirmed. "It's her senior picture. I don't think our mom was too happy about having to pay for pictures with the stuffed goat I got her for her 10th birthday but it's definitely very Prim."

"She's beautiful. Like you."

Katniss scoffed. "She looks like our mom, I'm more like Dad. I'm pretty sure everyone though I was adopted when we first moved to the east coast."

"No," he brought his arm around her body and slid his finger across the glass frame. She welcomed the warmth. "Her nose has that slight up-turn like yours does. And you two have the exact same smile."

She turned to him, glad to finally see his smile, and kissed his cheek. Katniss set the frame on the top of the night stand and reached into the drawer for an older, tarnished frame. The picture itself was faded but Peeta could easily identify it. The woman did look like Katniss' sister. But it was the man, with steel gray eyes and dark, wavy hair so similar to the woman sitting beside him now.

"Your parents?"

"On their wedding day. My father said it was the most beautiful my mom ever looked."

"They look happy," he murmured.

"They were. Even when they fought it was because they loved each other. Too much, probably." She felt Peeta stiffen behind her and she groaned. "I'm sorry, Peeta. I wasn't even thinking." She reached behind her for his hand and brought it around her, pulling him close.

"Why did you bring me here?" He asked quietly. "Why did you show me this?"

She bit her lower lip. She didn't know how to explain to him that she needed to show that he wasn't a coward by leaving his abusive family. That she was the coward, abandoning her mother and sister who loved her and needed her, just so she didn't have to see the memories of her father every day. That just because his mother was evil didn't mean he would be because Katniss grew up surrounded by love and she couldn't even do that right. She needed him to know how much she wanted the ghosts of her own past to disappear and how much she needed him to help her do that.

But she wasn't as skilled with words like he was. Not in situations like this, where it wasn't an act. So, again, she did the only thing she knew to do. She turned her head and captured his lips with her own. Her free hand wrapped around to the back of his head and she ran her fingers through his curls. He tightened his arm around her waist and deepened the kiss, prompting her mouth open slightly with his tongue. She turned so she was straddling his lap and she suddenly felt like she couldn't get enough of him. She had to show him how much he meant to her. Their kisses became frantic, hands pulling off clothing, mouths and tongues marking skin, fingers greedily gripping onto each other as if loosening their hold would cause them to disappear.

Katniss pushed Peeta so his back landed on the soft blanket. She leaned over him, slowly kissing down his bare chest. He reached for her and knotted his fingers through her hair.

She unbuttoned his jeans and his abs flexed in nervous anticipation. It had been nearly a month since the last time and she, herself, felt a virginal blush grow on her cheeks when she exposed his hardness. She ran her fingertips, then her tongue up and down his shaft before taking him in her mouth.

He moaned as she moved further and further down, using her tongue at the same time. The warm, wet sensation of her mouth intensified when she began inhaling, creating a tighter suction against him. He refrained from bucking his hips up, a task made only more difficult when he opened his eyes and watched her head bob up on and down.

"Katniss," he croaked, tugging slightly on her hair to get her attention. He almost lost it completely when she looked up at him but didn't remove him from her mouth. His brain was hazy, any idea of what he previously wanted from her dissipated when she added her hand to grip what she didn't have in her mouth.

She released him and his brain snapped back. He sat up and flipped her so he was on top and slid her panties down over her ankles. She moaned loudly as he curled his fingers inside her in an excruciatingly slow but steady rhythm. "Peeta!" she cried out. "Please."

"As you wish." In one fluid movement, pushed himself completely into her. He let out the animalistic groan she remembered from their first night.

"Touch yourself, Katniss," he growled, taking her hand in his and leading it to her bundle of nerves. His hand moved up her stomach and began massaging her breast.

"Oh God!" She panted when he pinched a nipple between his fingers. Between his fingers, her fingers, and him filling her up, she felt the familiar warmth spread through her body. "Peeta, I'm gonna-"

"Good. Come on, baby, let it go."

She let her head drop as she cried out his name, her muscles spasming around him and her fingers pressing firmly on her clit. He started to pull out of her and she let out a whimper in protest. He chuckled and slowly slid himself back in, causing the whimper to become an elongated moan. Slowly he continued pulling all the way out then pushing all the way in. "Stop fucking around, Peeta."

He smirked and pounded into her quickly, eliciting a yelp, but then returned to his slow, teasing movements.

"I swear to God Peeta, if you don't AH! You fucker!" He leaned over her and kissed her hard with a smile still on his lips. She giggled into him even when he pulled all the way out. He laid on the bed next to her and started kissing her again, cupping her face with his hand. She re-situated her knees so they were one either side of his hips. She lowered her core over him, sinking onto his entire length with a slight hiss. He held her hips loosely, letting her control the pace and tempo.

She rolled her hips forward and backward to create friction on her already sensitive bundle. She pressed herself down onto him gripping his shoulders as she created her own rhythm. He raised his hips to meet her, to penetrate deeper into her. He reached between her legs with his thumb, rubbing her when he was close.

She called out his name and not long after he called hers. She collapsed a top of him, a sweaty pile of legs and arms and hands holding onto each other. She rested her cheek on his chest, listening for his racing heart to slow down. It was an odd source of comfort, his heart beat, like all the good in the world was contained in that strong _thump_ in this chest.

He pulled the blanket out and wrapped it around their still naked bodies. "Nice sheets."

"Comfy, right?" She smiled, tucking herself further against his body as he ran his fingers through her damp hair. "Why didn't anyone ever turn your mom into the authorities?"

"Because no one wanted to deal with the wrath of 'Patricia Mellark,' I supposed." He answered. "No one could prove it, not without us complying and we knew better than to say anything to the cops about what happened at home."

"Why is everyone so afraid of her?"

"Your high school, in L.A. probably had, what, 400 kids in it?" She nodded. "My entire town had 400 people. 400 miserable people who wanted nothing more than to leave our blue-collar hell hole. My mother was the queen bee. If you had a secret, it wouldn't be long before she knew it and she had no qualms with using it against you if it benefited her. So everyone turned a blind eye."

"That's despicable."

He sighed. "Everyone's got skeletons, Katniss. Unless you're ready to deal with your own, you better not go about exposing anyone else's."

"Do you hate her?"

Truth be told, he wasn't sure how he felt about his mother. He hated her once, when he was younger. He was still angry with her. But through her he learned how not to be and what was and wasn't love. Delly told him that his mother protected him from ever taking his anger and frustration out on another person, but he was pretty sure that was just her way of making him feel better after punching the wall. "She's a sad, lonely woman, more miserable than anyone else there. I don't know if I hate her or pity her."

She resettled her head against his chest, listening to the steady _thump_ again. "Peeta? How do you know what to write?"

He shrugged. "I just write what needs to be written."

"Poetic." She snorted. "Is it easy?"

"Not always. Depends on what I'm writing about."

"I want to try," she said finally.

"Try what?"

"Writing. A song."

He cocked an eyebrow. "You do?"

"Sure. Maybe someday I'll be as good as you and can write my own stuff."

She couldn't read what emotions were flashing through his eyes. That one sentence made him realize that someday she wouldn't need him anymore. And he'd be useless. A _useless, vile creature_ all over again.

"Peeta, if you don't want-"

But he agreed, at the beginning of all of this, that he was there to help her career above all else. And it probably would benefit her to learn to do some of it on her own. To be completely independent. "Ok."

"What? Really?" She beamed and kissed him. "Really?" she confirmed, kissing him again. "Can we start now?"

If someday he was going to be obsolete, he figured he should make the most of it now. He flipped her over and began peppering kisses down her neck. "Let's start something else, first."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously a few lines of this came from Suzanne Collin's work. I'm not laying claim to them. Or anything else she created. Or anything that may resemble what anyone else created.


	15. Three

The change was subtle. Leevy almost missed it; Gale was a master when he wanted to control his emotions. But she happened to glance his way at the exact right moment and caught the pain flash across his face at the scene in front of them. And just as quickly, he relaxed.

* * *

After her sister left, Gale called, telling her he wanted to talk. They sat at her kitchen table, the one he helped her dad build and he listened to her unload. Usually, he would apologize, bring her a trinket he got 'especially for her' and they'd end up falling into bed. Fight, makeup, and wait for it to happen again. She always forgave him because she loved him and forgiveness was the key to happiness.

But this time things were different. When she finished, he stared down at the large knot in the table, picking at it silently.

"You said you wanted to talk."

"Nothing I say will make us better. But," he looked up at her, "we have to be better. I, I can't lose you, Leev. I love you too much."

"You have a funny way of showing it," she said quietly.

"I have a terrible way of showing it," he corrected. "But it's you. It's always been you. You're the one who dug me out of my hole; you brought light into my life. This, this thing with Katniss..." He saw her flinch when he said Katniss' name. "It was always wrong. I just got so lost."

"Things can't go back to how they were, Gale."

"I want us to start over."

She agreed to a date, given that they hadn't had a proper one since he proposed. They went slow, he brought her coffee to work one morning and they met for lunch every so often. He held her hand and kissed her cheek, but never more until she was ready. She asked if he wanted to watch Katniss on Caesar Flickerman's show and was slightly relieved when he said no. She stood backstage a few days later when he was scheduled to be on.

 _I count the ways I let you down_  
On my fingers and toes but I'm running out  
Clever words can't help me now  
I grip you tight but you're slipping out

 _And I remember your eyes were so bright_  
When I first met you, so in love that night  
And now I'm kissing your tears goodnight  
And I can't take it, you're even perfect when you cry

 _Beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)_  
It's dripping from your eyes (bye-bye, bye-bye)  
Your beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)  
It's dripping from your eyes (bye-bye, bye-bye)  
Oh yeah

_All the pain you try to hide_  
 _Shows through your mascara lines_  
 _As they stream down from your eyes_  
 _And let them go, let them fly_  
 _Holding back won't turn back time_  
 _Believe me, I've tried_

_Your eyes were so bright_  
 _And I remember your eyes were so bright_  
 _I remember your eyes were so bright_  
 _When I first met you, how in love were we that night?_  
 _And now I'm kissing your tears goodnight_  
 _And I can't take it, you're even perfect when you cry_

_Beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)_  
 _It's dripping from your eyes (bye-bye, bye-bye)_  
 _Your beautiful goodbye (bye-bye, bye-bye)_  
 _It's dripping from your eyes (bye-bye, bye-bye)_  
 _Yeah_

He wrote it for Leevy, that's what he told Caesar in their brief interview. "What was your reaction to Katniss Everdeen's performance?" Caesar asked. "Or her words after?"

He didn't watch it; it didn't feel appropriate since he was trying to make things better with his wife. But he wished Katniss the best of luck, saying they were still friends and that was one more relationship he was going to fix.

Leevy didn't tell her sister about Gale. It really was different this time, Leevy knew. That wasn't just the mantra she repeated to make herself feel better. This was the Gale she met, the Gale she fell in love with. And for the first time since District 12 founded, they were happy together.

And when that subtle change occurred, she wished she had missed it.

* * *

"Kitty Kat!"

Katniss pulled her phone away from her ear when she heard Finnick's over-enthusiastic voice on the other side. "Hi, Finn." She slipped on the faded t-shirt Peeta had been wearing.

"Friday night, I got us all reservations for dinner at The Penthouse."

"How the hell did you manage that?" She asked, mouthing 'The Penthouse' to Peeta. The Penthouse was a posh restaurant that took reservations six months in advance, and even then, there was no guarantee you'd get a table.

He laughed. "One of my many skills." She could all but hear the wink through the phone. "Reservations are at 7, drinks at 6. Jo and I will meet you there."

Katniss hung up and crawled back into bed beside Peeta. "That was Finn."

He looked up from his notebook with a smile. "I heard."

"We're invited to have dinner with him and Johanna on Friday."

"I didn't think you liked Johanna."

Katniss sighed. "She doesn't like me. But she and Finnick kind of come in a pair so if I want to see him, I have to see her. It helps that she's usually more agreeable when she's fed and drunk." She sent a message off on her phone before curling next to him. "What are you working on?"

He pulled the notebook out of her eye line. "Nosey."

"Curious. Let me see." She stretched her body over his to glimpse at what he was hiding from her but he just kept moving it further and further away until she was completely on top of him. She glared at him. "Why can't I see?"

"It's not finished yet. I'll show you when I'm done." He kissed her and she rolled off of him, grumbling.

* * *

She and Peeta spent most of the week moving all of her stuff from the hotel to her apartment. She gave away everything she bought with Gale and thanks to a catalog of suggestions Effie sent, Katniss ordered basically a brand new apartment.

When he found out the plans to go to The Penthouse, Cinna insisted on taking Katniss shopping.

"Where are we going now?" She whined when Cinna dragged her out of the last shop with an excited gleam in his eye. "I've already got more clothes and shoes than I'll ever wear."

"We're not shopping for you anymore," he answered, stopping in front of a window containing men's wear. "We need to find something for Peeta to wear."

She scowled. She thought Peeta looked fine just as he was. Sure, he was a little more casual than she usually was, but she often found herself jealous that he could wear jeans and a t-shirt whenever he wanted.

"Calm down. There's nothing 'wrong' with what he wears. But he should have some pieces for some of the bigger events you'll have coming up." He led her inside the shop and waved off the sales girl who immediately pounced on him with offers to help him find whatever he needed. She reminded Katniss of the obnoxious interns on Caesar Flickerman's set. They walked briskly through the store, past the elegant clothes that seemed to go on for miles. When they reached the 'employee only' door, she looked around nervously. "Cinna," she whispered. "What are you doing?"

"Don't worry, Katniss. Portia and I are... close."

Portia? How did she know that name? She racked her brain and absentmindedly followed him into the break room and down a rickety set of steps. At the bottom was a brightly lit room that was the size of the building above them. It was full of large tables, rolls of fabric, sewing machines, and racks of clothes. Only these clothes looked nothing like the ones in the store, which were all mass manufactured. "Where are we?"

"The work room," he answered with a proud smile, taking in the sight.

"Cinna? Is that you?" A woman walked out of a back room and shrieked. She ran at Cinna and jumped into his waiting arms.

She watched the pair in wonder. Cinna did say they were close, maybe they were lovers.

"Katniss, this is Portia. She's a fabulous designer of menswear. And my twin."

Katniss reached out for Portia's hand and up close, she could easily see the resemblance.

"Oh, Katniss, Cinna's told me so much about you so. And imagine my surprise to know we would both be on Caesar's show the same day. I'm sorry I missed talking to you after. You looked gorgeous."

Caesar's show. The designer. "Oh! That was you?"

Portia laughed. "Yes, although a bit more extreme. The flare for theatricality runs deep in our family." Rather than the outlandish getup she wore that night, Portia was now in a black skirt that fell to her calves and a red-orange-yellow tanktop that was swirled together to look like paint being mixed. It perfectly accented the mocha color of her skin. Her dyed blond hair was slicked back in a tight bun. "So, Cinna, what brings you to my workroom?"

"Katniss' new...friend...needs some nice clothes for some events coming up," Cinna answered.

"The one you told me about, Peeta, right? I assume you're only talking about the basics."

"For now. No need to overwhelm him yet, Portia."

She winked and began pulling clothes off a rack. "I have to guess on his proportions, unfortunately. So if anything doesn't fit, let me know and I'll adjust it."

"Don't worry, though," Cinna whispered to Katniss. "Portia's got the fashion equivalent of perfect pitch. She sees you once and can guess your measurements down to a few inches."

They left the store, with promises to bring Peeta in for a proper fitting soon, and an armful of clothes.

* * *

Friday came quickly enough and Katniss once again found herself standing in front of her closet trying to find something to wear. She was still in her gym shorts when Peeta knocked on her door. She had tried to convince him to get ready at her place, but he insisted on making this as real of a date as possible. He held out a single daisy when she let him in.

"I didn't know what your favorite flower is, but you didn't strike me as a 'rose' girl."

"I like daisies," she assured him. "I just have to...finish getting ready."

He laughed. "Or decide what to wear?"

"I'm thinking about asking Cinna to move in, just so I never have this problem again," she called from her room. "When he first sent me clothes, he included this binder cataloging everything with instructions on what to pair with what. But now I've got all this new stuff and it feels like he's testing me. Ah ha!" He heard her shuffle around in her as she got dressed. For being so light on her feet, the girl made a ruckus when she got flustered. And clothing obviously flustered her. She emerged from the bedroom holding two sets of wedge-style heels. "To me, the only difference between these shoes is one is beige and the other is white. But according to him, the pair on the right is more appropriate for this particular outfit because the beading matches the color undertones of these shorts. I don't get it." She shook her head. "What?"

The entire time she had been talking, he was staring at her. Her metallic gold shorts stood out against her olive skin and made her legs appear longer and leaner than they already were. Tucked into them was a loose white button down with thin gold vertical strips interwoven into the fabric. Her hair was down in soft waves, as if she let it dry in her braid, and around her neck was a chunky gold and brown necklace. "You, uh," he cleared his throat nervously. "You look great."

"Yea?" she asked, nervously pulling on the hem of the shorts. "I was worried shorts wouldn't be dressy enough but I really didn't want to wear another dress."

"Yes," he said, definitively.

She smiled as she slid her feet into her shoes. "Come on. Finnick and Johanna are probably already there." She hooked her arm into his.

She was right about Finnick and Johanna. He said drinks were at 6 but judging how relaxed Johanna looked, they had been there for a while already.

"Brainless!" Johanna yelled when she caught sight of Katniss and Peeta.

Katniss smiled and gave Peeta a 'here goes nothing' look as they sat at the bar. "Hi, guys."

"I told you she cleans up good, didn't I?" Finn said in a stage whisper to Johanna. "Peeta. How's it going?"

"Peeta? Wait, this is Peeta?" Johanna turned in her seat and gave him a full body scan. "Well I'll be damned. Brainless traded up. Peeta, I'm Johanna. Finnick tells me you're an artist. Ever do any nudes?"

Katniss looked mortified at Jo's behavior but Peeta seemed to brush it off. "In college. Why, want one?" He answered calmly, accepting the drink Finnick handed him.

Johanna looked him up and down before deciding, "I like you, Bread Boy. Get it, because your name is Peeta."

"So I should fully expect plenty of inappropriate jokes about my bread stick and buns, right?"

Johanna clicked her tongue and nodded in approval. She held her glass up and he clinked his against it. "Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys."

Katniss had been watching the two chat when Finnick slid up next to her. "Told you she would like him."

"Oh joy," she answered. "One more person she likes better than me."

"Don't get pissy," he warned. "You know, now that you're not with Gale, you may find she warms up to you a little more."

"Is that what her problem always was?"

He gave her a pointed look. "Gale and Johanna two were more of a time bomb than you two ever were. She hated anyone who sided with him and he hated everyone who sided with her."

"Sided about what, though?"

"Mr. Odair." A hostess appeared with four menus in her hand. "Your table is ready."

He turned to Katniss. "That, Miss Everdeen, is not my story to tell. Shall we?" He caught the attention of Peeta and Johanna and the four followed the hostess to their table.

"Looked like you and Jo were getting quite chummy," she said quietly in Peeta's ear.

He shrugged. "She's nice, once you get beyond that inappropriate sexual tension thing."

"What did you two talk about?"

"Art and stuff."

Katniss scoffed. "Yea because Johanna Mason's an art expert."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "She doesn't have to be an expert to learn about it, Katniss. I suggested a trip to MOCA some afternoon so she can see some contemporary stuff that might interest her a little more. It'd be a nice refresher for me, too."

"Well that sounds cozy for the two of you. I hope you have fun," she said snidely, taking a larger step to be in front, rather than beside him.

"Hey." He reached for her arm and stopped her. "What is going on with you? I didn't get jealous when Finnick had his hands all over you but Johanna wants to go to an art museum in the middle of the day and suddenly I'm the one whose intentions are being questioned? I'm not interested in her, I'm interested in you. Only you." He kissed her softly. "You can trust me, Katniss."

Sometimes when Peeta said things like that, her stomach twisted into knots and she felt the desire to flee back to her apartment to be alone with her guilty conscience. Instead, she relented with an apologetic kiss, letting Peeta lead her to their table where Finnick or Johanna had already ordered a bottle of wine.

"Lover's quarrel or quickie in the bathroom?" Johanna asked, not looking up from her menu.

Finnick groaned. "We've only been here for five minutes, Johanna. Do you have to be this way already?"

"Sorry," she said, not sounding at all sorry.

Katniss slid into the seat next to Finnick while Peeta sat next to Johanna. "I can assure you it wasn't a quickie," he said.

"Yea, I mean, Peeta can get the job done but he's not a minute man." It wasn't until all three sets of eyes turned to her that she realized what she just said. _What the hell, Katniss,_ she chastised herself. Did she really just say that? In public? In  front of Peeta? She took a silent breath. "Johanna's the one who said I traded up."

The table was silent for a few beats before Johanna covered her mouth to try to mask the obnoxious snort that caught the attention of the tables around them. Finnick bent over, hiding his head under the tablecloth so no one could see how hard he was laughing. Peeta lowered his head so it rested on top of his menu. Katniss looked around at the three with a sly smile on her face. "What?"

Peeta reached behind her head and brought her face mere inches from his own. "You're adorable, you know that?" He kissed her. "And just so you know, I wouldn't pass up the opportunity of a quickie with you." She laughed and kissed him back.

"Just, just so we're all clear," Finnick said, trying to catch his breath, once he sat back up in his seat. "Katniss Everdeen just insulted Gale's skills in the bedroom. I'm not making that up?"

The table laughed again as an easy, comfortable atmosphere took over. Katniss could have sworn that Johanna even complimented her once, in a totally non-sarcastic way. It was the first time they had been together as a group without a worry that there would be an argument or blowup from someone. Turns out Johanna's new band was much more her style and allowed her to beat out any of her stress. It surprised Katniss how well Johanna said they were all getting along but she bit her tongue about it, not wanting to be the one who ruined dinner by bringing up the one person everyone at the table had a reason to dislike.

"Plus, it'll be nice to go out without being followed for a while."

Finn's voice caught Katniss' attention. "What do you mean?"

"Turns out Snow put a blockade on the four of us. We are not to talk to outside media sources unless they've been pre-approved by him or our people," Johanna answered. When Peeta asked if that was really the smartest move for them since 'any press was good press,' she shook her head. "Someone's," she spat, making it quite clear who she was talking about, "manager put in a request for it. And for some reason that lovely duo gets whatever they want, no matter what it costs the rest of us."

"Well that's just stupid," Katniss mumbled.

"That's an interesting choice of words for someone whose team got someone at _The Capitol_ approved," Johanna countered. There was that knotted feeling again and Katniss knew the blood in her face was draining quickly.

Peeta reached for her hand. "You ok?"

She nodded and gulped her water quickly as she tried to formulate the words. The rest of the table was watching her expectantly. "Oh you know Effie," Katniss said with a wave of her hand. "And _The Capitol_ is the biggest paper in the state. I'm sure she arranged whatever it is that's going on." This seemed to work because the topic of conversation quickly shifted to the make-up girl on set with Finnick who was, according to him, 'the most beautiful girl he had ever met.'

* * *

"So what's next?" Johanna asked, lighting her cigarette outside the restaurant.

Finnick looked around the group. "I don't think there were any other plans, Jo."

She pouted. "Come on, Finn. I never get to see you anymore and I haven't had enough time to properly get to know Bread Boy. There's got to be someplace we can go, something we can do." She exhaled loudly before snapping her fingers. "The beach."

"The beach? Johanna, what do you want to do at the beach?"

She shrugged. "Crash some high school bon fire again? That was fun last time." She smiled too-sweetly at Katniss who blushed instantly. Johanna snickered and turned to Finnick. "The beach?"

"I'm going to need a lot more to drink if this turns out to be another bon fire night," he sighed, shaking his head.

Johanna clapped her hands and eagerly grabbed Peeta's arm. "You are in for quite a night, Bread Boy. You two mind getting the booze? We're gonna have ourselves a little chat."

Peeta gave Katniss a worried look but Finnick shook his head. "She's harmless. Enough. We'll meet you by our pier."

"The asshole hated Finnick, you know." Johanna mentioned once the other two were out of earshot. She had released his arm and was lighting a second cigarette.

She offered a drag to Peeta who accepted. He didn't smoke but something told him this was her idea of a friendly token. "I get the feeling he hated a lot of people. Did he think she'd choose Finnick over him?"

Johanna snorted and lit another, implying he was to keep the one he currently had. "Nah, I could tell he had that girl wrapped around his dick from the moment I met her, even before they started fucking around. Finnick intimidated him; they were competitive at the Academy even though they were on different campuses. We heard all about 'Gale Hawthorne from New York' and how he was a rising star, comparable only to our own 'Finnick Odair.' Finn never saw it as a competition because he just wanted to make music and take care of his grandmother but Gale...Gale never forgave Finnick for being just as talented as he was but 10x as charming."

"So how did you guys all get together?" Peeta finished his cigarette and flicked it into the street.

"It was Abernathy, of all people. He mysteriously showed up on both campuses four years before the band formed. Two years after I graduated he told us he found a bass player and if we wanted to take an actual shot at the music business thing, this was the time to do it. Finn trusted him and I trusted Finn so we agreed." She opened her pack. "Another?"

"I'm good."

When they arrived at the street entrance to the beach, she held onto his arm as she slipped her heels off and waited for him to do the same so they could walk along the sand barefoot. They walked in silence until they got to an old wooden pier. They let their legs dangle off the edge and waited for Katniss and Finnick.

"Why don't you like Gale?"

"You mean beyond the obvious 'he's an asshole who treats women like shit' part?" She snorted. "I don't know, I never would have considered myself friends with Gale Hawthorne, but I admired his skills. He was full of raw talent but arrogant as hell. Sometime between Haymitch planting the seed about the band and it actually happening, Gale told a reporter that he was jazzed about making a name for himself as the frontman of a band. When they asked about me and Finnick, he complimented Finn, saying he was a great musician and was looking forward to working with him. He completely disregarded me despite being asked point blank and all but called me a prop to his legacy. He had to know that would get back to me but never once did he said anything about it." She took a long drag. "It sounds silly, because I wasn't really an overachiever at the academy like they were but, shit, it's not like I was average. I scored three points below Hawthorne on my showcase. I'm damn good at what I do."

The pain was still raw with her, apparently. He knew the feeling too well, living with his family of boys who tried to outperform everyone just to lessen the disappointment-laced blows from their mother. As the youngest he was constantly compared to the others and was never good enough. "And Katniss?" He asked hesitantly.

"The day he brought Katniss into the studio, he started parading her around like a fucking trophy, and she totally ate it up. She was a little clone of him, refused to talk to any of us even when we tried. Me, I get, I'm obnoxious and abrasive, but she wouldn't even talk to Finn." She rolled her eyes. "The first time Gale told her she was replaceable, she spit back at him. We took her out that night and she was this totally different person that we both really liked. But she took him back and after a few trips around the Gale-Katniss relationship, I gave up believing in her. She was still more fun without him but that Katniss was always going to be temporary."

They saw the shadowy figures of Katniss and Finnick walk through the sand toward them, Katniss laughing freely.

"Look, Bread Boy, I know it doesn't seem like it, but I like this Katniss. Try to keep her this way, yeah?" When Finnick and Katniss finally arrived, Johanna jumped off the pier into the cold sand. "You two will never guess what I spotted about a mile down the beach."

* * *

"Turn that shit off!" Johanna yelled when they could see the mass of people scattered around the campfire.

"Fuck off, you hag!" Some drunk hollered back.

She smirked at Finnick who cleared his throat. "Now, fellas, is that really the way you want to talk to a lady?"

"You ass-" The drunk went to stand when the girl next to him gripped his arm.

"Oh. My. God. Do you know who that is?" The whispers started floating through the beach site.. "Finnick Odair." "No fucking way." "Johanna Mason." "Holy shit." "Katniss Everdeen." "No Gale?"

Finnick looked over his shoulder at Katniss and Peeta and smiled. "You guys mind if we crash your party?"

After the initial shock of seeing three members of _District 12_ show up at their site, the bon fire attendants went back to whatever it was they were doing before. A few nervously asked for pictures or autographs, but even that buzz died down. Peeta sat against a lifeguard stand with Katniss between his legs, resting her back on his chest. Finnick and Johanna were sprawled out on either side of the pair, a bottle of whiskey being passed around.

Finnick took the last swig from the bottle and set it down beside him. "You know what this party needs? Music."

"We had music before that one made us turn it off." The drunk who called Johanna a hag was sitting with them and actually turned out to be a pretty decent conversationalist, even if he did still refer to Jo as "that one" every time.

Johanna stared at him. "That was not music. That was noise. The entire thing was synthesized."

"It's called pop music, Brainless," Peeta said with a loopy smile.

Johanna turned to him with an impressed look on her face. "Well look who decided to show up for the party, claws out and everything." When he winked at her, she laughed. "Even pop music can be good if it's done properly. That was not proper."

"And you think you can do better?" The drunk challenged.

"Oh, fuck," Katniss said under her breath. Challenging sober Johanna was usually a bad idea. But drunk Johanna never backed down from a dare.

She cupped her hands around her mouth. "Anyone here have a guitar?" She smiled when one came floating out from the crowd and she handed it to Finnick. "Think you could figure out the basic chords, Pretty Boy?"

He strummed a few strings and nodded. "Gimme a minute."

"Good." She started tapping her thumbs against her thighs, counting silently in her head. "How rhythmically challenged are you, Bread Boy?"

"I can hold my own." She began clapping, adding her foot for emphasis on certain beats. He watched for a few repetitions and joined in. He wasn't as graceful as she was but she didn't seem to mind.

Johanna counted them down quietly and Katniss, Johanna, and Finnick all began singing.

 _One, two, three_  
Not only you and me  
Got one-eighty degrees  
And I'm caught in between  
Countin' one, two, three  
Peter, Paul and Mary  
Getting down with 3P  
Everybody loves  
Countin'

Finnick started strumming a simple melody to go along with their acoustic version of the horrific pop song that was playing when they showed up. Katniss leaned back further into Peeta before singing the first verse solo.

 _Babe, pick a night to come out and play_  
If it's alright what do you say?  
Merrier the more triple fun that way  
Twister on the floor what do you say?

Finnick's voice was smooth and rich, picking up right as Katniss released her last note.

 _Are you in?_  
Living in sin is the new thing.  
Are you in?

Having heard Katniss and Finnick sing separately, Peeta was now able to pick out each of the trio's individual voices when they came back together. Johanna may not have the polish like the other two, but her roughness added to the song in a way he hadn't expected.

 _I am counting_  
One, two, three  
Not only you and me  
Got one-eighty degrees  
And I'm caught in between  
Countin' one, two, three  
Peter, Paul  & Mary  
Getting down with 3P  
Everybody loves  
Countin'  
One, two, three  
Not only you and me  
Got one-eighty degrees  
And I'm caught in between  
Countin' one, two, three  
Peter, Paul and Mary  
Getting down with 3P  
Everybody loves countin'

He could feel the vibration of her voice through her body and he was glad to see her finally not be so hesitant to show off her talent.

 _Three is a charm_  
Two is not the same  
I don't see the harm  
So are you game?  
Let's make a team  
Make 'em say my name  
Love in the extreme  
Now are you game?

The spectators began catching onto the simple beat of the song, clapping and stomping along as Johanna crawled over to Katniss and Peeta, suggestively. She ran one hand over Katniss' arm and the other up Peeta's leg.

_What we do is innocent  
Just for fun and nothing meant_

Katniss laughed and played along, leaning into her touch.

 _If you don't like the company_  
Let's just do it you and me...  
 _You and me..._  
Or three...

Johanna brought her face up near Katniss' and the two paused as the catcalls from around the fire intensified. Their lips were on the verge of touching, the fantasy Peeta suddenly found himself very fond of, even though he was sure sex with Johanna Mason was hazardous to his health. He licked his lips as they tilted their heads and closed their eyes.

_You and me...  
Or three..._

He chuckled at the collective groan when Finnick's voice was right in his ear, effectively ruining the moment for everyone. He pushed the other man's face away from his when Finn planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

 _...Or four, on the floor_  
 _One, two, three_  
Not only you and me  
Got one-eighty degrees  
And I'm caught in between  
Countin' one, two, three  
Peter, Paul and Mary  
Getting down with 3P  
Everybody loves  
Countin'

Johanna flopped against Katniss and Peeta in a dramatic huff when they ended the song and Peeta wrapped his arms around the pair. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

Katniss rolled her eyes. "What makes you think I'm sharing?" Johanna laughed into Katniss' stomach, effectively tickling her. Soon both were laughing uncontrollably against Peeta.

Eventually Johanna pushed herself off Katniss, announcing loudly that she was going to get more alcohol and find a good dick to make up for the girl-on-girl that just happened. She grabbed Finnick's arm. "I need you to distract some bitches."

Katniss shook her head and settled back against Peeta, wrapping his arms around her stomach and craning back to kiss him. "Having fun?"

He nodded. "Are you?"

"Surprisingly." She sighed contently. "Finnick approves, by the way. He said anyone who could have a conversation with Johanna and remain unmarred must be a keeper."

"Smart guy, that Finnick." He kissed the side of her head.

"You two have fun?"

"Katniss," he warned.

She let out a sharp breath. "I meant did you have a nice talk? She seemed so eager to get you alone, I can only imagine what she had to tell you."

He tightened his arm around her. "Only good things, I promise."

They watched Johanna and Finnick work the crowd surrounding them and Katniss felt a pang of jealousy rise up. "The only person I knew when the band started was Gale, so I clung to him like a child. I hated being back in the city that took my dad and Gale was my lifeline. He always told me he'd take care of me and I was so used to taking care of my sister that I didn't question it. I wanted to be friends with them, I just didn't know how, especially once everything started happening. Every so often I would think that we could be friends but it always felt so temporary. Even now, I don't know, maybe it's too late to hope for us to be close."

It was as though the drummer knew Katniss was talking about her because at that moment, she looked over at the pair. Katniss looked away with a sad expression but Peeta squeezed her arm. The flickering flames of the bonfire cast shadows across her face as Johanna watched the pair. Her mouth twisted into a half smile before turning back to the conversation.

"Maybe it's not too late," he whispered into Katniss' ear.

She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. "Maybe not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must be more computer illiterate than I thought. I can't seem to get my italics to work correctly every time. Bah.
> 
> Song choices:
> 
> Maroon 5's "Beautiful Goodbye" written by Adam Levine, Ammar Malik, and Benjamin Joseph Levin
> 
> Britney Spears' "3" written by Max Martin, Shellback, and Tiffany Amber (arrangement stolen from Glee's version. Ugh that show infiltrates my head. Damn you Ryan Murphy!)
> 
> So, there was some foreshadowing in this chapter… And the Johanna – Finnick – Katniss reunion. Yay.
> 
> Fair warning, guys, the next chapter will contain some more fluffy goodness but we're coming to the downward spiral of the story. Buckle up.


	16. According to You

"Peeta! Answer your damn phone already. It's been ringing nonstop for like two fucking hours!"

It had been ringing for three hours, actually. He listened to it ring five times since 4am, which is when he assumed Delly got into the office. He didn't want to answer it, content to let it continue ringing until it woke Katniss up. He padded into the living room so he wouldn't disrupt her. After two months of all but living together, he learned that if Katniss woke up too early once, she could (and often did) fall back asleep easily enough. But if happened twice, she became this irritable monster for the rest of the day. Katniss Everdeen was not a morning person.

"Hello?"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"Jeez, Delly, who is this excited at 7am?" He struggled to keep the phone next to his ear to keep Delly's voice muffled.

"Someone who has been awake since 2:30. Not all of us get to plan our own schedules, Peeta," she said, very clearly rolling her eyes. "You should be proud of the restraint I showed, by the way, waiting until I got to work to call you."

He groaned at the memory of last year, when she let herself into his apartment and woke him up by jumping on his bed and hitting him with a pillow, like she did when they were kids. "Yes, thank you for that Delly. I think Katniss may have actually bitten your head off if you had tried."

Delly audibly shuttered. One morning she called and Katniss growled at her for about ten minutes before throwing his phone across the room. She apologized later but the memory still frightened Delly. "What do you and the little lady have planned for today?"

"Nothing." He flipped the coffee pot in the kitchen on so whenever Katniss woke up, there'd be coffee ready.

"Nothing? Is that code for sex? Because if so-"

"It's not code for anything. We're not doing anything today."

"Why not? I'd have thought she'd jump at the opportunity to celebrate your birthday with you. Most girls would."

He ran his hand through his tangle of curls and plopped onto the sofa. Pulling his sketchbook out from under the coffee table, he flipped to the drawing he had been working on. "I'm sure she would if she knew it was my birthday."

"What?! How does she not know?"

He snapped his head up to the bedroom door, checking for any sounds of movement from inside. "She doesn't know because I didn't tell her."

The length of time that passed before she answered would have made him think she hung up on him if he couldn't hear the bustle of the office behind her, followed by a soft *click* of her door. "Peeta, you'll have to face it eventually, you know. You can't avoid this day forever."

He ran his thumb over one of her cheek, smudging it slightly. "Avoidance has worked pretty well for me in the past," he muttered.

Even as a child, when he should have been excited to have a party, like everyone else in town, he dreaded this day. He never slept the night before, willing the sun to stay down and skip past it. His family didn't celebrate birthdays like other families. His brothers would pool their allowance together to buy a new paintbrush or set of colored pencils, which they presented to him on their way to school, far from the prying eyes of their mother. His favorite was when he was in high school and they bought him his first set of oil paints. At school, Delly would give him a homemade card full of glitter. The first time it was because she thought it was prettier that way but later she did it because she knew how much he hated that he could never get it out of his clothes or school supplies. When he got home, all talk of birthdays ceased and he went about his chores so as not to upset his mother too much.

Of all her children's birthdays, he suspected she hated his the most. The last child, the last reminder that she never got the family she wanted. If it was possible for her to be more disappointed in him one day a year, this was it. Her comments were meaner and more direct, her blows more furious. As he got older, he stopped celebrating his birthday with the other kids. In college he didn't bother telling anyone when his birthday actually was. And if it weren't for Delly's elephant-like memory, he suspects he would have forgotten about it himself.

"Peter Allan Mellark." Ah. The full name. She was serious. "I know how much you miss your brothers and how much it kills you that you don't get to know their families."

His chest constricted at the mention of the nephews and nieces he never met. The last time he had any contact with his family was when he first moved to California. Graham sent him a letter congratulating him on finally escaping the clutches of their drab life before he knocked some girl up.

" _Chip and I want to visit, but you know she'd never give us both time off, not at the same time._ " Graham and Chip still lived in Ohio and began working with their father, under the overbearing thumb of their mother. _"Dad's really messed up about you leaving, Baby Brother. Chip says he catches him in the back room just staring at the picture from the lake. Swears he heard him cry once. Can you imagine that?"_ His father was a good man but too willing to bend to his mother, too understanding of her misery. _"We're proud of you, Peet. Wren sometimes asks about you, in her own way. She sits in her crib and points at the painting you brought when she was born and her little lip starts shaking."_

Wren was Graham's oldest daughter and the only niece he had ever met. Graham had two other girls, twins, but they were born after he moved. Chip's only son lives with his mom in Cleveland, though his newest wife was apparently expecting, according to Delly.

" _I'm sorry none of us were ever strong enough to protect you from her. I'm sorry we're still not strong enough."_

His mother effectively shunned him from the family when he refused her 'gracious' offer to let him pay rent to live in his old room. It was bad enough that he was majoring in journalism but him moving to the opposite side of the country just to get away from her was a clear 'fuck you' in her mind. He knew she'd be mad but not mad enough to disown him.

"You could try calling them. You know your dad would love to hear your voice."

"He'd want me to come home, to make them a family again. I can't disappoint him anymore than I already have." His voice was barely above a whisper, anything louder and he was sure he would lose any semblance of control he had. "Del, I appreciate your concern but I just can't."

"Want to get some birthday lunch? We could go down to the pier like we did when we first moved here." It was her peace offering.

"Nah, you're probably busy today."

"I'm never too busy for you, Peeta. Not today, not ever. Look, if you change your mind, I'll be down there around noon. If you don't show, then no big deal, I'll just assume you're off having crazy monkey sex with Katniss."

"Jesus, Delly!"

She laughed loudly in the phone and he didn't bother fighting the smile that overtook his face. "Oh come on, you had to know that was coming eventually." Her voice softened slightly. "You know I love you, right?"

"I know. I love you too, Delly."

He heard the bed creak and smiled as Katniss walked to the coffee pot in a zombie-state, mumbling something about castrating anyone who thinks now is an acceptable time to be awake. "What did Delly want?" She asked, yawning loudly as she sat next to him on the couch and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Nothing important." He took the coffee cup from her and set it on the table. There was no way she was going to stay awake any longer than five minutes, if her puffy eyes were any indication. Sure enough, she stretched out against him and slid her head down to his thigh, nuzzling in like a cat.

"Why would she call at this hour if it was nothing important?"

He began stroking her hair, listening to her sigh contently. If Katniss couldn't fall asleep, scalp massages worked wonders to relax her. She pulled her legs underneath her and he draped a knit blanket from the back of the couch over her. "That's just how she is sometimes."

His voice was distant and unattached. She had only ever heard that voice once before, when he talked about his mother. She knew Delly no longer called about "nothing important," not this early. As much as she didn't want to eavesdrop on their conversation, his friend nearly hit Finn-volume when she was excited, so it was hard not to hear snippets of their conversation.

That and it was too difficult for her to fall back asleep once Peeta had left. She was accustomed to the feeling of his arms around her when he woke up or his fingers looping into the waistband of the pair of his boxers she slept in every night. The bed was unfamiliar and cold without him in it and she found she much preferred the security of his touch than a few extra hours of sleep – although she would never admit that out loud.

The last few days had been rough on the two of them. He was becoming increasingly moody and he surprised her by snapping rudely at a complete stranger on the street. Whenever she tried to ask him about it, he brushed it off, saying he was just tired or not feeling well. The tired was potentially true; she found herself waking up in the middle of the night to see him lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, his blue eyes reflecting the rays of the moon that peaked through the window.

She assumed whatever was coming up must have been some twisted anniversary of something particularly horrific in his life. It reminded her of how she dealt with her father's death every year. When it had passed and he was back to 'old Peeta' once again, she'd ask.

He listened to her breathing even out as she fell asleep on the couch. Guilt poured over him like a summer storm; he didn't like lying to Katniss, even if it an omission. He was content to spend the day like this, with Katniss, not making a big deal about any of it. Delly's voice was loud and clear in his head, however, and he knew that even though he hated his birthday, it was something she cherished and held onto. He grabbed his phone and sent her a message confirming that he'd join her at noon at the pier, just the two of them.

Katniss didn't quite know why she was so irritated with him when he told her he was having lunch with Delly today. Maybe because when she asked if he wanted her to go along with, he said today was about the two of them but wouldn't elaborate any further. Or maybe because when she finally woke up for the morning she had a crick in her neck from sleeping on his leg. Either way, she was crabby.

Until he came home with a bag full of mini-donuts and sheepishly told her he bought them for her because he felt bad about leaving.

"You don't have to buy me things when I'm mad at you. You just need to tell me what's going on."

"I know. I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. Give me some time?"

She rested her head against his shoulder as his hands massaged her back through her tank top.

"My dad would have liked you."

"Mine too."

* * *

Her goal was to sneak into the conference room so no one would notice she was late but Haymitch's slow applause as she pulled the door open gave her away. She shot him a glare as she slid next to Finnick but he just laughed at her, like he always did. Thankfully she wasn't the last one to show up, as Gale was still missing. "Sorry," she muttered.

"What'd you do, run here?" Johanna asked, leaning across Finnick.

"Shut up, Johanna."

"No, seriously, your face is all flushed, your hair is a mess, and you're sweating like a whore in church."

"I didn't run here," Katniss answered through her teeth. "The elevators stopped working."

Johanna relented but didn't take her eyes off Katniss, like she didn't quite believe the story. Technically, Katniss was being honest; she didn't run to work and the elevator didstop working.

Katniss knew Peeta was strong, she just didn't know how strong until he had pinned her against the wall of a notoriously slow elevator and pushed into her. She felt the muscles in his back flex with each thrust, his arms tightly keeping her at the right spot. Sweat beaded down his face and arms, causing the light hair on them to glisten. They had gotten into an argument on the way over, but as her orgasm ripped through her, she couldn't remember anything they may have been fighting about.

He laughed as they scrambled to get dressed and start the elevator again. His hair was still damp with sweat and his blue eyes a shade darker than normal. She had to imagine she bore a similar appearance. "That was...unexpected." He kissed her deeply, causing her to forgo zipping her pants until the familiar ding separated them.

"I uh, I should go to my meeting. Wait for me?" The meeting, that's what it the fight was about. Haymitch had called that morning and told her they needed to chat. All of them – her, Finnick, Johanna, and Gale. Peeta still didn't like Gale; he didn't trust him or believe any of his 'heartfelt' pleas for forgiveness. Katniss said it was just about business but "thank you for thinking so highly of me." When the car arrived to take them, Peeta stormed out of the apartment with Katniss not far behind him, both of them silently stewing in their frustration with each other.

He kissed her forehead and wiped the excess sweat off with his sleeve. "I'll be in the studio, listening to some audio mixes Beetee came up with."

When Gale came in, he sat on the far end of the table, away from the others. At the head of the table stood Haymitch and three other people Katniss had never seen but presumed, by the way they chatted together, must have been the managers. One, the woman who came in with Gale looked familiar and she assumed was Gale's manager.

"Right," Haymitch said, clearing his throat. "You may be wondering why we've called this little...get-together. Seems as though Snow is looking for some extra exposure for the four of you and is organizing a tribute concert. You'll perform some of District 12's songs, and then each of you will get a segment of time for your new projects."

Katniss snapped her head up at Haymitch who was grimacing. The others had similar looks except the woman who came in with Gale. She was staring directly at Katniss, her lips in a thin, determined line. Katniss averted her gaze but felt the woman's cold stare continue.

"Wait. What?" Finnick finally asked.

"Yeah, District 12 isn't even together anymore," Johanna shot a dirty look to Gale, "so why the fuck would we perform together? No offense," she added quickly.

The woman with Gale turned her hard gaze to Johanna. "Because it was not a request."

Her voice sent a chill down Katniss' spine.

The woman next to Haymitch sighed. "Alma's right, Johanna. You're still under contract."

"A contract with very clear stipulations," Haymitch concluded, "and harsh punishments if not fulfilled."

'Prim.' Katniss thought.

Haymitch must have been able to read her thoughts because he nodded and continued. "Whatever it is that Snow has hanging over you, he'll use it, no doubt about it."

She felt her stomach spasm and warm bile rise in her throat.

"Aren't we doing enough as it is?" Gale asked. "I mean, everyone's getting positive buzz so why the added exposure?"

"Because it's never enough," the woman from earlier mumbled.

"What Seeder is trying to say is that it's not just about exposure. A tribute concert will bring in additional revenue for Snow Records. Plus..."

"People love reconciliation." The gruff man, who Katniss thought had been asleep all this time, finally spoke up. "It'll drive sales of District 12's old stuff out of the roof if there's even a hint of a reunion."

Johanna snorted. "Yea, Woof, that's fucking happening."

"Perception, Jo," Finnick said softly, the entire scenario finally dawning on him. "That's all this has ever been - the perception, not the reality."

"Bingo." Haymitch took a long drink from his flask.

"When is it?" Katniss asked quietly.

"July."

Gale leaned forward on his elbows. "Why wait so long?"

Everyone up front, Alma included, exchanged very pointed looks, as Haymitch dropped the bomb. "District 12 is going to premier brand new music to close the show."

* * *

Katniss was quiet for the ride home. The rest of the meeting seemed to fly by, technical elements like the line-up of segments, songs that would or would not be performed by the band, and a very vocal argument between Johanna and Finnick about even doing the show.

_"I don't care," Johanna said with a hint of pain in her voice. "He's got nothing on me anymore."_

_"But he does on the rest of us, Jo! Think about them, about us."_

_She narrowed her eyes. "I don't want to play his little game anymore, Finnick. I can't."_

_"We don't have a choice right now."_

_She calmed down and eventually signed on, but made it clear that she was not doing so willingly. Katniss had agreed quickly, anything to keep her sister away from Snow. The more she thought about the whole thing, the worse she felt._

When she finally told Peeta the details of the meeting, she could see the irritation in his eyes. He blamed Gale, which she quickly deflected, saying it was Snow who wanted this, that Gale himself seemed confused about it. The more she talked, the more stressed he felt and the less able he was to hide his true feelings. She was supposed to tell him about his role in this whole ordeal, that the other managers decided he would write some of the new stuff for District 12. With the exception of Alma Coin, who remained stoic for the most part, they all heaped praise on his work so far. It was technically part of his contract, Haymitch explained, because he agreed to write songs for Katniss and any outside parties she was a part of, which in this case, included District 12.

"Just promise me you won't let him try to take over again, Katniss," Peeta said before she could say anything. "You know he's going to try to steal the spotlight back, make himself the star of the show, but you can't let him. You've earned this and deserve the recognition just as much as anyone else does."

She turned to stare out the window, unable to tell him the truth. At least not yet, not until she had some guarantee that she could fulfill that promise.

* * *

"Tell me you've got something in mind," Johanna randomly spit out during their trip to the art museum. Peeta knew he'd have to be out of the apartment all day for Katniss' interview and photo-shoot, so he decided it was time to take Johanna up on her offer of an art lesson.

"In mind for what?" He was staring at a sculpture that said was supposed to resemble the 'waste of American capitalism.'

Johanna stared at him like he grew a third head. "For her birthday. It's like six weeks away."

How did he not know when her birthday was? Or even think to ask her when her birthday was. He knew she didn't know his but he doubted anyone grew up believing their birthday was a burden, like he did. Normal people liked their birthdays. "Am I supposed to do something for it?"

"Are you crazy? That girl loves her birthday. I can't think of anything else she loves more than her birthday. She won't say she is and she'll pretend like she isn't, but she's totally into it."

* * *

Katniss settled into one of the plushy recliners in her living room and curled her legs underneath her. The reporter from 'Acoustically Speaking' sat on her couch and crossed his ankle over his knee with a smile that made her skin crawl. "So, Miss Everdeen, you've been a very busy woman lately. How many songs have you recorded for your new album so far?"

"Oh, well over half of them. The actual number is, um, close to eight I think. Wow," she said with a laugh, "it's hard to believe I've done all that in such a short amount of time."

It had been nearly six months since she first stepped into the recording studio, unsure if she'd be able to carry a tune, let alone have any kind of hit single. But her performance on Caesar's show gave her a sales boost that carried her for a while, outperforming Gale's first single, even. She hadn't expected the positive response she received from her fans.

"Tell me about your most recent song. I'm not sure if you're aware but your team sent me a sneak peak of it and I have to tell you, it's quite controversial."

_According to you, I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right..._

_But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible, everything he's ever wanted._

_Everything is opposite; I don't feel like stopping it, so baby tell me what I've got to lose._

_He's into me for everything I'm not, according to you_

If only he knew controversial it would be if anyone knew that Peeta would tell her how 'beautiful' and 'incredible' she was when he was buried deep inside her, making her cry out his name with each thrust. Then afterward, he'd kiss her sweetly and she'd tell him how opposite he was, how much happier she was with him, how she didn't want what she had with Gale ever again. When she asked Peeta if he wrote that about Gale, he would smile knowingly and change the topic.

"Peeta comes in with his own stories to tell. I'm just the face; he's the true voice of all of this."

"I bring it up because of the track from Mr. Hawthorne's album that was leaked online."

_You know all my deepest secrets_  
I think you know you know to keep them  
But I wonder if you know I hate sleeping alone

_It's not like I wanna stick around_  
 _It's just tonight_  
 _I'm gonna lay you down_

_So now you know what my kiss tastes like_  
 _So in the morning I say goodbye_  
 _But you wonder if I know_  
 _You hate sleeping alone_

_I have to fake it I'd leave if I could_  
 _I'm not in love but the sex is good_  
 _You can't mistake it because it's understood_  
 _I'm not in love but the sex is good_

Gale's 'leaked' song was retaliation to her second single. At least, that's what she got from Haymitch's drunken ramblings. It seemed like an odd choice, given that he had performed a romantic ballad on Caesar's show but Effie said they both supported the same story - he loved Leevy and made a mistake with Katniss. Effie said all of this with a trademark 'Katniss' eye roll.

_Don't even look in his eyes_  
He'll tell you nothing but lies  
And you wanna believe that you won't be deceived  
If you listen to me and take my advice

_He's a good time cowboy Casanova_  
Leaning up against the record machine  
He looks like a cool drink of water  
But he's candy-coated misery  
He's the devil in disguise  
A snake with grey eyes  
And he only comes out at night  
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight  
You better run for your life

_Run, run away, don't let him mess with your mind_  
He'll tell you anything you wanna hear  
He'll break your heart; it's just a matter of time

She shrugged. "Sometimes a song is a just a song."

The reporter didn't buy it but thankfully left the topic of Gale's song alone. "Mr. Mellark told me that you're his biggest inspiration. How does that feel to know that his songs are about you?"

_I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth_  
And I've never opened up  
I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me  
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go  
You put your arms around me and I'm home

Katniss didn't know which part of his question caught her more off guard – that Peeta talked to this guy without her knowing or that he told him she was his inspiration. She knew she played a role, he had told her so, but could he really have written all those beautiful words for her? Because of her?

"I'm flattered that he could spin out something so beautiful if it was at all inspired by me," she answered, quickly schooling her features.

The reporter asked her about her other relationships; what it was like having 'The Haymitch Abernathy' as her manager, how she felt having Cinna as her personal stylist, what the other members of District 12 were up to.

"Do you still talk to Mr. Hawthorne?"

She bit the inside of her cheek. "Uh, no, not really. I've heard he's trying to patch up his marriage and I don't think any additional, uh, distractions, would help that."

"You think you'd be a distraction?" The reporter asked, raising an eyebrow, obviously pleased at the thought of getting some scandalous scoop about the pair.

"No...I just meant that it's better for him to focus on Leevy right now. She has to be the most important part of his life if he wants to keep her."

"Would you be willing to consider rekindling a friendship with Mr. Hawthorne if he requested it?"

'Hell no,' was her first thought, until she remembered what Finnick told Johanna about why they'd be performing together. Perception. People wanted the hope that the band would reunite. It would help them all if that hope was still alive. A little hope is effective if it can be contained. "Of course I'd be open to it. Regardless of what has happened in the past, Gale, Finnick, Johanna, even Haymitch, are my family. If he wanted to talk I'd be more than willing to sit down with him."

* * *

"Bread Boy!" Johanna stomped out her cigarette when Peeta greeted her outside his apartment building. It was like they hadn't just spent the morning at the museum together. "Nice digs."

Suddenly they were squished together by a pair of bronze arms. Johanna looked at Peeta with a smirk. "I told Finnick."

"Like I would let you plan this without me?" Finnick said, releasing the two. "Are the others here?"

'The others' ended up being Haymitch, Effie, and Cinna, all of whom Johanna and Finnick invited, swearing they'd be helpful. They settled into his apartment, Cinna flipping through the photo album on Peeta's coffee table, Johanna giving herself a tour of his place, and Haymitch scrounging his cupboards for alcohol.

"These are exquisite, Peeta," Effie commented, looking over Cinna's shoulder.

"If you think those are good you should see the shit in here!" Johanna yelled from the second bedroom. "Holy hell, did you do all of those?" She walked into the living room and stole the bottle of vodka from Haymitch to take a long swallow.

"Can we get to the point, please?" Haymitch grumbled, grabbing the bottle back and cradling it in his arm. He nodded to Peeta who cleared his throat nervously and began spelling out his plan.

* * *

After the interview was complete, her apartment was transformed into a make-shift photo studio, complete with the trio from Cinna's studio, who set themselves up in her bathroom. The only saving grace of those three was Octavia. Katniss learned her name after blurting out that she couldn't keep calling her 'the green woman.' With a hearty laugh, Octavia held out her hand. "Octavia. The man is Flavius, and your friend with the wax is Venia."

"I like you best," Katniss whispered, keeping a distrustful eye on Venia. This sentiment was reaffirmed as each hair was removed from her body. According to Venia, she had waited 'far too long' to be re-waxed. If she had it her way she'd never go through this again.

Luckily, Cinna was laying out clothes when she recovered from having her skin painfully ripped off and he assured her the fabric would be soft against her inflamed body. They were just as beautiful on her as they were on paper, at least that's what he told her. Her cheeks hurt from smiling and her feet were sore from the ridiculous shoes Cinna apologized three times for, but eventually the photographer announced that he was done and would be in contact with her manager before they sent the story to press.

It was only 5pm, but as soon as she kicked her shoes off and curled up on the couch, her eyelids became heavy. She texted Peeta, who told her he was going to be out for a while, but didn't hear back from him before falling asleep.

When she woke, she heard the shower running and Peeta's messenger bag by the chair. She poked her head into the bathroom, letting him know it was her, and grabbed his clothes off the floor. The unmistakable scent of liquor and cigarettes and a faint whiff of something she couldn't identify. Perfume, maybe? She shook her head, telling herself that he must have just been with Delly. She had spent some time with the other woman but never paid attention to if she smoked. Or what she smelled like, in general.

"Were you with Delly today?" She asked when he started making dinner for her.

"Not today, why?"

She glanced at him, noticing his mouth twitch slightly. "Uh, just wondering what you were up to," she answered.

He brought her a plate and sat next to her, kissing her forehead. "Nothing too exciting, just stayed around my apartment building. The weather was nice so I sat up on the roof to do some writing. I even started a new painting." He told her a few weeks ago that he wanted to start painting again, since he really hadn't done anything since he moved to California.

Katniss tried to think about if she actually had smelled perfume on his clothes or if it was possible that it was just his paints. She had never been around fresh paint that didn't cover walls so she didn't really know what it could smell him out of the corner of his eye, he ate as though he was being honest, not trying to overcompensate or tell some elaborate story like Gale did when she caught him in a lie.

'Fuck Katniss!' She told herself. 'Peeta is not Gale. He's shown you more times than not that he's a better guy, what the hell is wrong with you?' She smiled at him and leaned over to kiss his cheek while he was mid-chew.

"What was that for?"

"I'm glad you're painting again," she answered, digging into her food. "And I'm glad you cooked for me because this is delicious."

* * *

Peeta was certain he would accidentally spill the beans about her surprise party, especially since she was starting to question his jumpiness and prolonged absences. Luckily, he knew the others would cover him, but it didn't mean he wasn't bubbling with nervous energy.

"Peeta," she laughed. "You have to calm down. You're making me dizzy." She set her hand down on his knee, which had been bouncing uncontrollably since they got into the limo. Finnick's movie ended up getting a lot more pre-debut buzz than any of them expected, so the premiere was a hot ticket item. She was happy for Finnick but presumed Snow pulled some strings to make it happen.

"Sorry," he answered, covering her hand with his. "Nervous, I guess."

She smiled at him. "What are younervous for? You have the easy job tonight – walk the carpet with me, hang out in back, and watch the movie. No reporters, no photographers."

"You'll do great, although someone should talk to Cinna about a guest upstaging the stars."

She smacked his arm but he caught her hand and pulled her close for a deeper kiss.

"We're here," she whispered when they pulled apart and the screaming fans filled her ears. "Here goes nothing."

He watched her gracefully slide out of the car and be bombarded by flashing lights, causing her golden evening gown to shimmer more brightly. He remembered what she told him, 'count to five then come out,' but when he got to 'three' she turned her head back to him with a slightly terrified look in her eye. How a girl who was used to performing in front of sell-out crowds could be nervous here was beyond him.

She turned back to the reporters, pasted on her biggest smile, and tried to listen to whatever mundane questions they were throwing at her. She didn't relax until she felt his hand on the small of her back, his fingers brushing the exposed skin between the top and bottom halves of her dress, which were connected by a thin strip of gold material.

They continued toward the theater, stopping every so often so she could sign some autographs or reporters could ask her who she was wearing for the umpteenth time. He gave her credit, even though he could tell she was annoyed, she never once showed it. He kept his hand on her back, perhaps more for his sake than her own. The whole ordeal was overwhelming for him and he was only shown attention a handful of times so he would pose with her.

Neither noticed Gale and Leevy making their entrance until she heard a reporter yell his name. Peeta felt her body stiffen slightly at the sound, so he tightened his hold around her waist. He leaned down and rested his forehead on hers. "You ok?"

She let out a shaky breath. "Stay by me?"

As if it was even a question for him. "Always."

Before she could enter the theater, one brazen cameraman asked if it would be possible to get the entire group together for a picture. Peeta squeezed her hand and stepped back, allowing her to meet up with Finnick and Johanna. And Gale.

"Congratulations, Finnick," Gale said with a tight smile.

"Glad you could make it out," Finnick answered, throwing his arm around the other man like they used to do when they were all together. Katniss was slightly jealous of Finnick's ability to pretend like nothing had happened between them. When Gale put his arm around her back, his fingertips grazing her hips, she felt a catch in her throat. It was so familiar, the light touch of Gale, but so alien at the same time. She hated the way her skin prickled at the memory of what this touch used to mean, how it used to make her feel. How it still made her feel, despite her hardest effort to ignore it.

She reveled in the feeling of Peeta's hand in hers once the sat down in the theater. She nudged Johanna slightly when a wisp of a girl with dark hair and emerald green eyes crept in once the theater was dark and sat next to Finnick. Katniss raised her eyebrows and Johanna shrugged. The movie itself was about what she expected from Finn's description. She made a note to give him some credit, his role as a cocky frat boy was very convincing. When his death scene came, and the lizard mutant took off his head in one bite, she hid her face in Peeta's shoulder, unwilling to watch him die on screen.

As she was leaving the theater, she felt a familiar hold on her hand and regretted telling Peeta she'd meet him at the car. Now she was alone with the one person she had been trying to avoid.

"Catnip," he said quietly. "Can we talk?'

She looked around but there was no one else in the area. "What do you want, Gale?" She hissed, pulling her head away from his.

"I want to talk to you. I need to make things right."

"It's going to take a lot more than a 'quick talk' in a theater lobby. Besides, I need to go, Peeta's waiting for me." She turned from him and briskly walked toward the exit.

"I'm not going to stop, Katniss!" He called after her. She stopped in her tracks and turned back to him. "I'm not going to stop until you hear me out. I'll wait until you're ready but we will talk about this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter! If you couldn't tell, there were some time jumps between the last chapter and this one, and some even within this chapter. We are nearing the end, but there's still so much to happen. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read these chapters (and everything that goes along with that)  
> Um oh, yea, songs! Lots of them in the rest of the story…
> 
> "According to You" by Orianthi, written by Steve Diamond and Andrew Frampton.
> 
> "The Sex is Good" by Saving Abel, written by Skidd Mills, Jason Todd Null, and Jared Weeks.
> 
> "Cowboy Casanova" by Carrie Underwood, written by Brett James, Mike Elizondo, and Carrie Underwood
> 
> "Arms" by Christina Perri, written by David Hodges and Christina Perri


	17. Forever Young

Peeta was not happy when Katniss told him what Gale said at Finnick's premier, though he'd be lying if he said it surprised him. He had kept his eyes on Gale and Leevy after they had arrived and didn't fail to miss the hardened look of jealousy that flashed over the other man's features. But Katniss told him to trust her, that she knew what she was doing even though she wasn't particularly pleased to be doing it either. Peeta agreed, as long as they'd meet in a public place so Gale wouldn't get any ideas. She shook her head at his paranoia but told him "public it was."

It was surprisingly chilly for being late April in Southern California, so Katniss rubbed her hands together to create some warmth between them as she waited on a bench in the city park she suggested.

"I brought you coffee." She jumped at the sound of his voice, having not heard him come up behind her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. I figured you would have forgotten your gloves this morning." Gale handed her the steaming cup and sat next to her.

"It shouldn't be this cold in April," she huffed, upset that Gale did know her so well. And still remembered her coffee order. She looked over and saw him smiling at her. "What do you want?" She snapped.

"I told you, I want to talk. To make things better."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her legs away from him. "Why now? Because of the concert? I think we both know to be civil to one another for that."

"This isn't about the concert," he snapped. "Why do you assume that I have some ulterior motives for wanting to fix our relationship?"

She turned and gave him a piercing glare. "You're right, Gale. I should trust you. It's not like you've ever lied to me in the past about anything important."

He dropped his eyes and nodded. "I deserve that."

"You deserve a hell of a lot worse," she snorted, turning away again. She listened to him shift beside her, undoubtedly picking at some of the wood of the bench. It was his nervous habit, a way to keep his hands busy. "If you wanted to talk then talk."

"I never meant to make you cry." His words hung in the spring air between them. His voice was so tired and broken.

"I didn't. When you left I finished crying." It was a lie, which was why she kept her back to him. If he looked her in the eye he'd be able to see through her facade. He was the only one who really could.

"I couldn't stop," he admitted. "I couldn't stop thinking about you."

She clenched her jaw. "I did. I banished all of our memories."

They were silent again. "They weren't all bad, were they? Your memories of us? We had our flashes in the sun." The pleading in his voice was barely noticeable. Like somehow he needed to know that she had some positive thoughts about him. When she didn't answer, he sighed softly.

"When you left," she began, until she heard her voice tremble slightly. She shut her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"You don't have to say any more, Katniss."

"No," she said quietly. "No, you need to hear this. You need to know what you did to me. How your selfishness almost killed me." She was amazed at the strength in her quiet voice as the words poured out of her. "I thought you were history when you slammed that door. Somehow I got through it, I got stronger, I thought that maybe things would be ok. Then you came out with that press conference. The things you said," she finally turned to face him, "what you said about us...it was like I didn't know you anymore. You made it out like we were nothing. You just became somebody I used to know."

"Katniss, you don't understand, I-"

She shook her head. "I do understand it, Gale. You made your choice that day. You did what you had to do. I...I can't be mad at you for that. But to blindside me like that? To blindside everyone? The Gale I met and fell in love with would never have done that. To be honest, I don't like this new Gale."

She expected some excuse to come flying from his mouth. But it never came.

"I had to forget about the Gale I knew after that. I did so well forgetting what we had and we were and how you made me feel. I couldn't let myself remember anything positive about us because you weren't 'you' anymore. And I wasn't 'me' I suppose."

"I was being honest when I said I lost myself along the way. I hadn't been 'me' for a while," he conceded. "Seeing you at the premiere, though, I don't know something clicked. I realized what I was supposed to be doing, where I belonged again. Being with you, it felt right."

"It wasn't right, Gale," she protested.

He brushed a piece of hair away from her forehead and she shivered. "You don't believe that," he whispered, lips so close to hers. "This still affects you, too."

She shut her eyes again and in that brief moment, with him so close, everything about them flashed behind her eyes. Everything about them was fire, their fighting, their sex, their music. It was a battle and with no peaceful way out. That fire had burned her too many times in the past.

She pulled away from him. "No, Gale. It doesn't."

"I know you, Catnip. If you didn't feel anything for me anymore..."

"I don't," she repeated, her voice sharp. "I don't feelanything for you."

"Then why are you still here?" He shouted, shaking his head at her silence. "If you don't feel anything for me then why are all your songs about me? I know he writes them, but they're all you. If I mean nothing to you then I wouldn't be the main character in them."

She slapped him. "Fuck you, Gale Hawthorne. You know nothing about me, anymore. You lost the right to 'know me' when you walked away." The wind picked up and cut through the denim fabric of her jeans. She stood abruptly and pulled her jacked down. "I have to go."

"You think this is what you want," he called after her. "But you know where you belong. And he'll tell you whatever you want to hear but all it'll do is make you miserable in the end."

"He's not you," she answered, her voice carrying through the wind.

"We're not that different. We both want success and we both know that we can't really get it without you."

She shook her head and threw one last glance at him before continuing away. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a slight movement and heard the sound of a car door shutting. Sitting in the parking lot directly across from where Gale still stood was Cato, watching her with narrowed eyes that made her uncomfortable.

When Peeta asked how her meeting with Gale went, she rolled her eyes. "I don't want to talk about him," she said, sitting down on his lap on the couch and nuzzling her head into his neck. She sighed contently when he didn't ask any other questions and allowed her to relax against him.

* * *

"Thank you for dinner, Peeta." She hooked her arm into his and snuggled close to his body, the early May air still slightly chilly.

"It's the least I could do. I'm still sorry I got called into work on your birthday. Are you sure you want to come with? I could just meet up with you and Finnick and Johanna when I'm done." Finnick had called Katniss that morning to invite the pair along to a club opening with him and Johanna.

She shook her head. "Please. I'd love an excuse to berate Haymitch for making you go into the office at such a ridiculous hour and for not calling me on my birthday. One day a year is all I ask for and the old drunk can't even do that."

Peeta smiled and kissed the top of her head and apologized again, promising to make it up to her. It didn't take them long to reach Snow Records and she was surprised to see a receptionist still at the front desk.

She smiled brightly at the pair as they walked in. "Evening, Peeta," she greeted him with a wink. Katniss tightened her grip on his arm and leaned more into his side. "Haymitch should be waiting for you upstairs."

"Thanks," Katniss answered before Peeta could, her eyes staying locked on the other woman.

As they approached the elevators Peeta laughed. "You're cute when you get protective." They stepped on and rode the elevator in silence, Katniss still refusing to move away from his side. "Ah, man," He groaned when they finally reached the correct floor. "I was supposed to grab some paperwork from Cashmiere before I came up here. You want to wait here while I run down and get it?"

The look she gave him was undeniable. Did she want Peeta to be alone with the ridiculously sexy receptionist? As they rode the elevator down again, she crinkled her forehead. "Didn't you say you had to go to see Cashmiere?"

"Yeah."

She studied the electric numbers that flashed before her, indicating which floor they were on. "Then why are we going to the basement?"

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, blasting them both with loud dance music and bright lights. She stepped out and gasped. The basement had been transformed into a ballroom, complete with a stage, DJ, bar, and dance floor. More than that, the room was packed with people from Snow Records who had fallen silent at the sight of her. Along the side wall was a banner that simply said, "Happy Birthday!" Underneath were a series of paintings of her, first in a simple white dress that slowly became engulfed in flame and ending up as a black version of the dress, with intricate feathered details and white tips on the sleeves. The markings on the final dress mirrored those of the small bird she pointed out to Peeta one afternoon in the woods.

"What…"

She felt his arms wrap around her middle and he kissed her cheek. "Happy birthday, Katniss."

Turning to face him, she held his face with both of her hands. "You did this? All of this?"

"I wish I could take all the credit but I had some help." As if on cue, the others who were part of the master plan all appeared. "I thought, I thought we were going to a club! What would you have done if I would have gone without you?"

Peeta shrugged. "I knew you wouldn't. Haymitch purposely didn't call you just to rile you up enough to make sure you came with."

She kissed him, smiling the entire time. "You're amazing."

Inside the party were people she had never met but assumed all worked at Snow Records. They knew her, at least, and were constantly coming up to her with birthday wishes and congratulations and smiles and hugs. The DJ turned up the music and the younger employees, along with a few brave older souls, mashed together on the dance floor.

Katniss held onto Peeta's hands to help him keep up with the beat of the song. While she always considered herself a natural and graceful mover, Peeta was almost the complete opposite. Every time his rhythmically challenged self fought against her, she laughed and pulled him in for a hug. "You're so bad at this!" She yelled in his ear with a smile. "How can you not keep this beat?"

Dark pain flashed in his eyes as he remembered the last girl who told him he was a terrible dancer. Along with every other insult she hurled at him before her very public breakup with him right before graduation.

"Here," she offered, looping her finger into belt. "Let me lead you." He felt absolutely foolish but the feeling disappeared when he saw her smile when he finally seemed to catch on. "Look at you! A regular Fred Astair!"

When the music faded out he felt Johanna's hand grab his wrist and pull him from Katniss.

"My turn, Bread Boy."

He shrugged and the two started some ridiculous dance that involved them flailing their arms around and yelling at the top of their lungs along with the song.

Finnick tapped her on the shoulder and she let him drag her to the middle of the floor. Finnick was a lot like her on the floor; he understood rhythm and the two soon fell into a natural movement together.

When the song changed again, she turned to find Finn grinning like a fiend. "Remember this?" He gestured to the speaker. "Hey baby whatcha drinking?"

He held out his hand and instantly swept her up in a country swing. She made the mistake once when they were in Texas of swaying to some live version of 'Lookin for a Good Time' in front of Finnick and he immediately pulled her on the floor to teach her some moves and show everyone up. Gale was livid afterward, drinking himself to near black-out stage and yelling at her on the bus about acting professional in public and not like some damn floozy. It was the last time she danced when Gale was around. Every so often, during a fight, she'd sneak off to a bar or club and get caught up in the music. But never again with Finn.

It surprised her how naturally it all felt again, being in Finnick's easy grip and letting him swing her out then into him again. A few miscues every so often that he took in stride, but then they fell into place. By the first chorus, they were both singing along, no longer watching their steps.

_Go ahead and lie to me and pull me close_  
Tell me that you love me even if you don't  
The rule is don't you ever even talk about forever  
But you never say never in life

In true Finnick fashion, he pulled her flush against him and dramatically dipped her as the song came to a close.

She gladly accepted the rum and diet Peeta handed to her at the bar. "That's a lot harder to do in a dress than jeans."

Finnick threw his arm around her. "Damn city slicker," he said in his best Southern drawl. She elbowed him in the stomach. "Sheesh, is this the abuse you put up with, Peeta?"

He laughed and pulled Katniss to him. "Luckiest guy in the room."

"Is Annie coming?" Katniss asked. She learned that Annie, the girl who snuck into the theater to sit next to him, was the make-up girl Finnick had been gushing about.

Finnick winced, "Um, no, probably not." He glanced around and dropped his voice. "It seems that it is in 'my best interest' to remain unattached for a while, particularly from 'common' make-up artists." He sneered at this last comment but quickly recovered his face. The face he was so accustomed to wearing that it made Katniss hurt for him.

The DJ suddenly cut the music, catching everyone's attention. "Alright ladies and gentlemen, get your glasses up because it's time to properly welcome the guest of honor. Miss birthday girl herself, Katniss Everdeen - the Girl on Fire!" As he called her name, her name lit up in flames behind him.

The dance floor cleared and everyone made their way to the tables along the edge of the room. Peeta jumped onto the stage next to the DJ and flashed her a smile. "Thanks, man. And thank you everyone for showing up for this little shindig. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Peeta and I am Miss Everdeen's songwriter."

"He also is the one constantly sucking her face!"

"Thanks, Johanna. Johanna Mason, everyone!" He pointed her out and she stood and gleefully waved amid the hoots. "Right, well, as Johanna alluded, Katniss and I have gotten close in the past...almost year...and I have to say that, personally, it's been the best 'almost year' of my life. Katniss, you are the most incredible woman I know, easily the most beautiful, and one of the most selfless. This hasn't been an easy 'almost year' for you," the audience let out a collective, albeit somewhat uncomfortable chuckle at this part, "but thank you for letting me be even a small part of it. Happy birthday."

"Happy birthday!" Everyone repeated, lifting their glances to her.

She smiled, staring down at the floor. His words pulled at her heart but also the guilt in her stomach. The guilt of Gale's words holding a truth he didn't understand. It wasn't Peeta using Katniss for selfish reasons, but her using him. She didn't deserve him or his words when he didn't know the truth about her. She resolved to tell him the truth.

"We're not quite done with you yet, Everdeen," Peeta said quietly as he sat next to her.

She looked up but before she could ask what he was talking about, the lights in the room shut off. A familiar male voice made an introduction that Katniss hadn't heard in years.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, from your own Los Angeles area, the Tama High School Show Choir!"

The stage lights lit up, exposing five high school boys standing in a V-formation. A guitar riff she didn't recognize started playing and the boy in front snapped his head up.

_You're insecure, don't know what for,_  
You're turning heads when you walk through the door,  
Don't need make-up, to cover up,  
Being the way that you are is enough,

The boy just to the left of the first joined in.

_Everyone else in the room can see it,  
Everyone else but you_

Suddenly the lights all flipped on, from blue to yellow, then back again, illuminating the stage as all five sang the chorus.

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else,_  
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,  
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,  
You don't know,  
You don't know you're beautiful,  
If only you saw what I can see,  
You'll understand why I want you so desperately,  
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,  
You don't know,  
You don't know you're beautiful  
That's what makes you beautiful

The smile on Katniss' face was worth all the time and effort Peeta had put into this party. She still looked confused but happily confused. When all five jumped off the stage in dramatic fashion, sometime during the second verse, and surrounded her, her face turned deep red.

"Sing along, everyone!" One shouted, clapping his hands in beat.

_Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na  
Na Na Na Na Na Na _

The second singer dropped to his knee right in front of Katniss and took her hand.

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else,_  
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,  
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,

He stood and joined the others in finishing the song.

_You don't know, Oh oh,_  
You don't know you're beautiful,  
Baby you light up my world like nobody else,  
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,  
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,  
You don't know,  
Oh oh,  
You don't know you're beautiful  
If only you saw what I can see,  
You'll understand why I want you so desperately  
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,  
You don't know, Oh oh,  
You don't know you're beautiful, Oh oh,  
And that's what makes you beautiful

Katniss cheered louder than anyone else and leaned back against Peeta. "Thank you."

He smiled and nodded to the stage "Not yet."

A clock chimed and rang through the room. On stage were ten girls and ten boys –including the five who just finished singing to Katniss.

_Clock strikes upon the hour_  
And the sun begins to fade  
Still enough time to figure out  
How to chase my blues away  
I've done alright up to now  
It's the light of day that shows me how  
And when the night falls, loneliness calls

As they reached the chorus, they began an elaborate dance sequence that made Katniss' jaw drop. She tore her eyes off them and turned to Peeta. "This is what we did at the state championship competition when I was at Tama. Down to the dance routine."

"I know. I, uh, I told the director that when I asked if they could be a part of this," he answered, nervously. "Is that ok? I know that performance brings up some painful memories but…"

She felt her eyes water slightly but shook her head. "It's perfect."

_Oh, I wanna dance with somebody_  
I wanna feel the heat with somebody  
Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody  
With somebody who loves me  
Somebody oo Somebody oo  
Somebody who loves me yeah  
Somebody oo Somebody oo  
To hold me in his arms oh  
I need a man who'll take a chance  
On a love that burns hot enough to last  
So when the night falls  
My lonely heart calls

The stage lights turned down and the entire room was lit with soft side lighting when the show choir finished. A quiet hum fell over the room, like low static from the speaker. On the wall on the back of the stage, a television screen dropped and an image of a recording room appeared.

" _You got it filming, Haymitch?" A man's voice from off camera asked._

" _Jeezus, you act like I don't know how to run a damn camcorder. I'm not a damn invalid."_

Everyone laughed at Haymitch's voice. He sounded younger than he did now, but still had the same gravel nature that came from years of drinking and other bodily abuses.

" _It's running. You planning on making an appearance on here anytime soon, James, or am I just filming for the hell of it?"_

A collective gasp traveled through the room as the off-camera man's voice became attached to a face, a face that everyone in that room knew, whether through actually meeting him or because his daughter looked exactly the same. He sat down in front of the camera and Haymitch sat behind him, strumming his guitar lazily.

" _Hey, baby, it's me, your dad. Obviously." He chuckled and bit his bottom lip. "I'm sorry that I may not be able to make it to your choir performance today. Believe me, there is no place else I'd rather be. I hate disappointing you, Kat, because you and your sister and your mom, well you're all I have worth living for. I wrote this song when you were born and used to sing it to you when you couldn't sleep. I never dreamed of recording it because it was our song and I was too selfish to share it with the world. I guess now, though, is the perfect time to give a little piece of you away, to show everyone just how special you are to me. Maybe to show you just how special you are to me. I love you, Katniss, and I know you'll do amazing things. I don't tell you enough how special you are or what a strong young woman you've become. So, break a leg out there tonight, kiddo. This one's for you." He looked over his shoulder and nodded at Haymitch who began to play louder._

_May the good Lord be with you down every road you roam._  
And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home.  
And my you grow to be proud, dignified and true.  
And do unto others as you'd have done to you.  
Be courageous and be brave.  
And in my heart you'll always stay  
Forever young.  
Forever young.

_May good fortune be with you, may your guiding light be strong,_   
_Build a stairway to heaven with a prince or a vagabond._   
_And may you never love in vain._   
_And in my heart you will remain_   
_Forever young._   
_Forever young._   
_Forever young. Forever young_

_And when you finally fly away, I'll be hoping that I served you well._   
_For all the wisdom of a lifetime, no one can ever tell._   
_But whatever road you choose, I'm right behind you win or lose,_   
_Forever young._   
_Forever young._   
_Forever young. Forever young_   
_For forever young_

The video faded to black as he finished his last note and the lights came completely on. Katniss closed her eyes, not bothering to care that her cheeks had been stained with her tears from the moment she heard her father's voice, before he appeared on screen. She let out a shaky breath when she felt a familiar pressure on her shoulder. Looking up, she was surprised to see Haymitch with the same watery eyes as hers. She stood and embraced him tightly.

"I know you blame yourself for what happened to him," he whispered gruffly in her ear. "I do too, blame myself. He was only there because of me, because I was supposed to regenerate my washed-up career by playing on his newest album. I'm sorry, Katniss."

She pulled away from him and recognized the pain from her father's funeral, never realizing the connection Haymitch and her father had, to his dying day. She was aware that other people were watching them with bated breath, not sure how to respond to the video or their reaction. She hugged him again, trying to convey how she felt, even if she didn't exactly know it herself. "Why now though? Why didn't you show me this earlier?"

"You wouldn't have been able to handle it, not on your own." He snuck a glance down at Peeta. "Not like you were before." He cleared his throat and loudly proclaimed that it was about damn time the sappiness ended so he could keep drinking.

She laughed and agreed, eliciting a thunderous reaction from everyone else. The DJ began playing music again and the tension from a few moments ago dissipated. She hastily wiped her eyes of any remaining tears and pulled Peeta over to the wall with the banner. There weren't many guests over there, and the speakers were directed away from it, making it the quietest spot in the room. "Peeta, all of this was..."

"You liked it?" She picked up the hesitancy in his voice, as though he really didn't know if she did. "I didn't have anything to do with the last video. Haymitch brought up that he had something he wanted to add but wouldn't tell any of us what it was. I didn't want you to be upset tonight but he was so sure you'd like it." He ran his hand through his hair, causing a few strands to curl up.

She stopped his movements with her hand. "He was right. I did. You gave me the one thing I've always wanted on my birthday – you gave me my dad back. Even if it was only for a few minutes, I got to hear him and see him in a way that I hadn't before. Never in a million years did I think that would ever happen."

He cupped her face and gently kissed her. "I love you," he whispered against her lips.

Her chest tightened as she made out the words he was saying and she felt as though she couldn't breathe. Wasn't this supposed to be a good thing, this wonderful man who gave her the best birthday she's had in years just told her he loves her. She should say it back and stay in his arms and be happy. Instead she was suffocating and the large ballroom that a moment ago felt so grand and brilliant now was closing in far too quickly.

"You don't have to say it back," he said, pulling away. "I know an unfair thing to say on your birthday but I just couldn't not tell you."

"It's ok," she answered quietly. "I just...Peeta, I need to tell you something."

"What about?" There was that hesitation again, the uncertainty.

She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. 'You can do this, Katniss. You need to do this. He deserves to know what's going on if he's going to love you.' Opening her eyes, she held his hands loosely in hers, needing the support from him as she admitted everything. "I, uh, need to talk to you about, about..." she trailed off.

"Hey," Peeta said, squeezing her hands. "You can tell me anything, Katniss. You want to sit?" He led her to a pair of empty seats at a table nearby. He rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles and smiled at her.

That smile conflicted her. She knew that as soon as she told him what she had been doing, everything she had kept from him, that he wouldn't smile like that. Not at her. He wouldn't love her the way he apparently did. The weight of her secrets may have been crushing her but was it fair for them to crush him? Was she being selfish by telling him just to cleanse her own conscious, with no consideration for how it would affect him? 'He may understand,' she told herself, 'even though he's not close to his family doesn't mean he wouldn't get why mine is so important. Besides, I didn't know him when this whole thing started, he can't blame me for what happened before I knew him.' But she knew him now. And he loved her now. She opened her mouth to speak but found that the words wouldn't come out. "Um, you know, it's, uh, nothing. Let's enjoy tonight."

They didn't stay much longer. She never released her hold on his hand until they were back at her apartment and he was peeling her dress off of her slowly, savoring each moment, each glance. His kisses were different now. They were the same lips, the same quiet sighs, but the meaning was different now. He was kissing her with love. He was touching her with love. She felt it with every brush of his fingertips, every swipe of his tongue, every breath against her flushed skin.

"Say it again?" She whispered, settling in against his chest.

He raised her head up to him and captured her lips with his. "I love you, Katniss Everdeen. Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Lookin' for a Good Time" performed by Lady Antebellum. Written by Hillary Dawn Scott, Keith Follese, Dave Haywood, and Charles B. Kelley
> 
> "What Makes You Beautiful" performed by One Direction. Written by Rami Yacoub, Savan Harish Kotecha, and Carl Anthony Falk.
> 
> Side note: I'm not even a little bit ashamed to admit my love of One Direction. Blame it on me not wanting to grow up, my inability to move beyond the cheesy pop bands of my youth, or the fact that my undergraduate co-workers play it all the time, I've accepted it. Also, I love the idea of someone being serenaded like this in public. I know who's to blame for that one. I'm looking at you, Lt. Maverick.
> 
> "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)" Performed by the great Whitney Houston in her glory days. Written by George Robert Merrill and Shannon Rubicam.
> 
> "Forever Young" Performed by Rod Stewart. Written by Jim Cregan, Kevin Savigar, Bob Dylan, and Rod Stewart. I absolutely love this song and have forever known it was going to be Katniss' father's last song for her.
> 
> A note about Katniss' talk with Gale. I wanted to walk the line between her being angry at Gale (rightfully so) and his ability to manipulate her still (which, given that they were together for two years, it's a hard habit to break). Hopefully that came out in their interaction. Some of the words in the fight were inspired (some directly some indirectly) from a couple songs that were playing when I wrote the scene. The first is "It's All Coming Back to me Now" written by the AMAZING Jim Steinman (seriously. Lyrical crush on Jim Steinman and his crazy power ballads). Also used a line from "Somebody That I Used to Know" written by Wally De Backer, AKA Gotye. And I don't own THG.
> 
> There are only a few more chapters left. It's kind of twisted, but I've been looking forward to this part of the story since the beginning. I hope I can do it justice.


	18. Blank White Page

Katniss couldn't wait to share the latest news about the tribute concert with Peeta. Her new album cover would be released that night and Haymitch wanted it to be one of Peeta's pieces. She surmised that it was the series of portraits he did for her birthday that impressed Haymitch, seeing as everyone at the party loved it. "Peeta," she called, opening the front door. "Peeta, you won't believe what I found out..."

He was sitting on the couch staring at a manila envelope on the table. "What's that?" She asked, slipping out of her shoes.

"You tell me." It unnerved her how quiet he was being, staring only at his hands, not moving in the slightest when she talked to him.

As she approached the coffee table, she halted. Scrawled across the front was her name and in the top corner was an image. An eagle with outstretched wings, clutching arrows in its talons and the letter 'C' displayed prominently underneath. Her stomach dropped. "Where did you get that?" She rushed over and ripped the envelope off the table. She turned it over and he heard her breath catch in her throat. "You didn't...you didn't open it?" She watched the muscles in his jaw clench a few times.

" _I know she's not here, that's why I need you to deliver this to her." The man at the front desk slammed his fist on the counter._

_Chaff, to his credit, didn't back down. "You think I'm going to just hand an unidentified package over to Miss Everdeen without any indication from her that she's expecting it? Boy, you must be outside your damned mind."_

" _Fine," he conceded, shaking his head. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and flashed his id in front of the scanner._

_Chaff smirked and slid a clipboard across the counter. "Fill this out and you're good to go." The sarcasm in his voice wasn't missed._

" _You tell her I'll return her entire advance." He slid the envelope across the counter and stormed out, grumbling under his breath the entire time. In his fury, he missed seeing Peeta, who entered the lobby just before the altercation started. But Peeta didn't miss him. Cato at Katniss' apartment irritated him, he had no right to invade her personal space, especially at her home._

" _Hey, Chaff, what was that all about?" Peeta asked after gathering his wits._

_Chaff snorted. "That idiot boy thinks he can just leave whatever he wants here and it'll go directly to Katniss. 'She's expecting it. She told me I could drop it off here. I can show you the text message.' Please."_

_Peeta's mouth went dry. Katniss was expecting something from him? She had been in contact with him enough to tell him where she lived, something she indicated wanting to keep to herself once they got the place redecorated. "Uh, well, I can take it, if you want. Save you a trip upstairs. I'm headed up there anyway."_

_Chaff looked down at the clipboard. "You sure? This 'Cato' guy hasn't been cleared through security yet."_

" _Yea, I'll take my chances. May the odds be ever in my favor," Peeta answered with a heavy chuckle._

"At first," he said quietly, still refusing to meet her eye, "I thought it had something to do with your dad, since I know 'The Capitol' covered it pretty extensively. But then I thought about what Johanna said, about how you got approval to have someone from 'The Capitol' print your pictures."

"That's, that's true." Her voice was cracked and she hated that those were the only words she could get to come out. But the pounding in her ears drowned out any other coherent thoughts. She repeated the lie she told Johanna that night. The lie she told them all. "It must have been Effie."

"That's what you said," he acknowledged standing up slowly. "But if that were true why was this hand-delivered to you by Cato?"

The air was sucked out of the room when he looked her in the eyes. His normally crystal blue eyes were as dark as the sea during a night storm. "How do you know-"

"How do I know it was Cato?" he finished for her. "I worked for a paper before I came here. I wrote the obituaries for 'The Capitol.' I know all too well about Cato. The bigger question is how you know Cato."

Katniss gulped. She wanted to explain - she needed to explain.

"Maybe start with something easier, then." His voice was oddly calm but she could make out the slight shake in it, as though his entire resolve was close to crumbling. "Why would Cato tell Chaff he would return your advance?"

Her throat was constricted and it felt like her chest was ready to explode from pressure. "I, um, I…" she glanced down at the envelope, at the wall, anywhere but him. She couldn't look at him when he was like this, when he was so close to exposing her.

"I'm not an idiot, Katniss. I may not be as worldly as you but I know when I'm being lied to." He watched her eyes flit back to the envelope in her shaking hands. "What's in the envelope?"

"N-nothing." She may not have always been the smoothest talker but he had never once heard her stutter before. When she finally looked up at him, he knew; her eyes gave her away. It infuriated him. It disappointed him. It sickened him.

"Nothing?" It didn't take much effort for him to take the envelope from her. He kept his eyes locked on hers as he turned it over. "What's in here?" He ran his finger along the seam to open the flap.

She stiffened at the sound but didn't move. She felt like she had been glued to the spot, watching the entire ordeal as a separate entity. She screamed at herself to just 'tell him already!' but it didn't work. She couldn't form the words she knew she needed to say.

"What is in here?" He repeated, though his hand made no movement to expose the contents. "Tell me and I won't look. Tell me and I'll put this behind me and never bring it up again. Tell me and I'll trust you." His voice was cracking and she could tell he was struggling to keep himself together.

"I…"

"Katniss," he begged her, his eyes starting to water. She couldn't look at him like this. "Katniss, tell me what's in here."

"I'm sorry," she breathed, the truest words she had spoken all afternoon. "Peeta, I'm so sorry."

The nausea running through his system hit a high when he reached in and his fingers brushed against the glossy paper used to print duplicates of photos. He held in his hands their entire relationship, told through a telephoto lens. Every moment of their lives together captured and printed, exposed for the whole world to see. Some of the pictures he had seen before, the ones printed in 'The Capitol' that he assumed were issued by Effie, but there were others he never suspected. There was the afternoon they went to the beach and he embarrassed her by throwing her into the oncoming waves that nearly pulled her suit off. There was their Christmas together, huddled together watching the ice skaters at Pershing Square, exchanging little presents and intimate kisses. These were the moments that neither Effie nor Haymitch knew about.

But it was the last set of pictures that sent him over the edge; Katniss and Gale during their meeting. He was sitting far too close to her. He was touching her and looking at her. She was looking back at him in a way that she hadn't looked at Peeta before. Their lips were millimeters from one another. His vision tunneled in and out as he caught his breath. On the back of this picture was a short, scribbled note.

_I burned the negatives. You deserve whatever happens when he finds out._

"You hired him." His voice was flat, completely devoid of emotion. Katniss had never been afraid of Peeta before, not kind, sweet, gentle Peeta who made her feel so safe and secure. The look in his eyes matched the eeriness of his voice. He was about to snap. Not from rage, but from pain. "You hired him. That makes total sense, Katniss. You hate paparazzi so why wouldn't you hire the sleaziest one you could find?"

"I didn't have a choice."

He stared at her and every emotion he was feeling burst through onto his face and into his voice "You didn't have a choice? You mean someone forced you to seek out Cato to follow you around, record every aspect of your life?" He was practically growling like a feral animal at this point, each of his words more biting than the last.

"You don't get it, Peeta!" She was hysterical, her emotional level matching his. "When this started, there was no guarantee it was even going to work. But it had to or else he would have gone after my sister. He would have forced her into this life and this isn't her burden to deal with."

"You could have told me," he answered. "Unless your relationship with me was something else 'you had to do.'" Peeta watched her gasp for air like a fish out of water and the realization hit him. His shoulders fell and an inappropriate laugh escaped his throat. "It was an act. All of it was a fucking act. I am so stupid to believe that you would want anything to do with me, unconditionally." He ran his hand through is hair.

"No, that's not-"

"You get a promising career and what do I get? Lies, betrayal, and more lies!" He threw the stack of pictures up, sending them flying around like a tornado. "Well I'm done with it. I'm done being a piece in your sick little game."

"Where are you going?" She cried as he made for the door.

"I can't be here. I can't stand to look at you right now."

"No, Peeta, please, let me explain. It's not what you think." Her fanatic cries juxtaposed his emotional detachment. After his very brief outbursts of anger, he became unrecognizable in his stoicism. It was as if he were fighting some internal battle between the Peeta who was trying not to let her affect him and the Peeta who was so angry with her betrayal.

He turned his head and though she didn't think it was possible, her heart shattered beyond recognition. The look on his face was unmistakable and worse than the anger she deserved. Pain. Betrayal. Those things she did to him because of chinks in her own armor, because she didn't trust him enough not to run from her situation. And now here she was, alone, trembling as she fell to the floor. Gale was right, she was miserable now.

She didn't hear him leave. Or Chaff calling her name. She couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything, she could only register the numbness, the cold that penetrated down to her bones that started when she saw how broken Peeta was. She's not sure how she got off the floor and into bed. When she saw the forest green sheets pulled up around her, the tears she hadn't released fell.

She didn't know when her body gave out and sent her into a fitful sleep but when she awoke, the sun was peeking through the curtains and the distinct sound of cupboards being opened and closed could be heard from the kitchen. She wondered if the day before was some horrible nightmare; if Peeta came back after yesterday, it couldn't have been real. Her hopes were dashed when she heard a familiar *click clack*of heels against the tile and a gruff voice telling the other to "leave her be." It wasn't Peeta. It wasn't a nightmare. He really was gone.

* * *

He waved off Chaff's attempt to ask him what was wrong. As the hot late May night air hit him, he let out the sob he refused to release in front of her. In less time than it should have taken, Delly was at his door with pre-made cookie dough and a bottle of tequila. "It's what you brought me for my last breakup," she offered with a small smile when he let her in. He pulled her in for a hug and she tightened her hold when he began shaking.

From his bedroom, she dug out a pair of gym shorts for him to change into and settled down beside him on his couch. "You know," she said, twisting the top off the tequila bottle and handing it to him. "I must really love you if I'm willing to be seen in public in my sweats." She elbowed him slightly to get a smile from him.

They took turns taking swigs from the bottle until his tongue loosened. "You were right, Del."

"About what?" She cut open the tube of cookie dough and offered him the first part.

He accepted the blob she was holding in front of him. "About a girl like her going for a guy like me; turned out being seen with me helped her public image, which is all she was interested in." Washing down the dough with a long swig of tequila, he continued, "I let myself get too caught up in everything to realize that it was never supposed to be me."

"Shut your mouth, Peeta Mellark. If Katniss Everdeen can't see how amazing you are then she's obviously not very smart. To be honest, I don't like the idea of you being with such a dumb girl."

"You have to say that," he said from around the bottle. "That's part of your job as my best friend."

She shrugged. "I suppose. But that doesn't make it less true. Feel like telling me what happened?"

He sighed and set the bottle down to rehash the entire afternoon. "I had to walk away. I've never been that out of control. I felt like I was this whole other person, like I had been hijacked or something," he confessed. "I didn't see her as a person anymore; she was just this Hollywood mutt who used me."

Delly did her best to distract him by reminiscing about old college stories and shots of tequila until his eyes glazed over. "Let's get you to bed, drunkie."

"Psh," he answered, though he found that as he stood the room began to spin. He looked at the empty tequila bottle in his hand and chuckled. "Alright, maybe you're right." She laughed and held onto his arm as he stumbled into his now rarely used bedroom. He fell into bed and pulled her down with him. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

"I'll stay," Delly answered, brushing his hair out of his face.

He caught hold of her wrist and held it in place. "You would never hurt me and I would never hurt you. We would be happy together."

She smiled at him. Drunk Peeta always reminded her of the little boy who shared his crayons with her in kindergarten instead of playing with the other boys. Or the sweet boy who she gave her virginity to because he was the only person she trusted. "Maybe in small-town Ohio, Peet, compared to every other family there. But it wouldn't be real for us. Don't you want real happiness?"

"I thought I had it with Katniss," he snorted. "I guess I didn't know what was real or not real with her. And look at where that got me."

"In bed with me?" She joked.

He laughed a whole body laugh that threatened to make him tear up. "Just no funny business," she mockingly warned. "One experience with Little Peeta was enough for this gal."

"Oh please. You could never find someone to compare." He said, fitting his arm over her.

"You're right. I doubt anyone could down half a bottle of Daddy's moonshine and still perform. Props to you, Mellark," she giggled. "I love you, Peeta. Tomorrow will be kinder."

In the darkness, he kissed her cheek. "I told her."

"I'm not surprised."

As Delly's breathing even out, he noticed that she was too tall to fit correctly in his arms. That her curly hair got caught in his mouth because her head didn't rest where Katniss' used to. She didn't smell like vanilla. Her skin was too pale and hair too blonde, since she was still dying it. He hated how much he missed her already. He hated that he missed her at all.

* * *

Haymitch and Effie let Katniss spend three days in bed before calling in reinforcements. Namely, Finnick to feed her and Johanna to get her into the shower, seeing as the drummer had no shame herself. For the next few days she got out of bed only to end up in the living room with Haymitch who seemed to have camped out on her couch. She glared at him for drinking at 9:30 in the morning but since he didn't push her to talk about what happened with Peeta so she put up with it. Effie had been banished from the apartment the second day because her presence and excessive chattering became too much for Katniss to handle.

"We've got a session at the studio," Haymitch commented one morning.

Katniss just shrugged. "Does it matter?"

Another week passed and Haymitch took to leaving the apartment for a few hours a day, only to return more agitated than the day before. "Here," he grunted, handing her a folded sheet of heavy paper. "He's not happy with you."

_Miss Everdeen. The time we set aside for you in the studio is meant for that, not to be wasted by you refusing to leave your apartment. If you do not intend to fulfill your end of your commitment to Snow Records, I would be forced to refute mine. I hear your little sister is turning into a fine young woman. Perhaps she would be more likely to uphold a contract. Do not disappoint me._

"I stalled for two weeks. You need to go back to work."

* * *

Delly refused to let Peeta sit alone in his apartment so she dragged him along to work. "Come on, Peeta, I've got a spare computer if you want to write." He was thankful she went in before everyone else, since he was not quite prepared to deal with having to see his former co-workers and listen to their questions yet. Her office was large enough for him to sit in the corner and be out of the way but not feel isolated. And he had to admit that it was easier to write when he could just randomly spout off his thoughts and get an actual response. They fell into an easy routine that Peeta found kept him functional throughout the passing days.

"Miss Cartwright?" An intern knocked and stuck her head in. "There's a gentleman here to see you."

Delly crinkled her forehead. "Who is it?"

"He says his name is Haymitch?"

Delly rolled her eyes and nodded. "He's here for Peeta. You can send him in." When Peeta shot her a look, she shrugged. "He said he had work stuff to talk about."

When Haymitch walked in, Delly gave him a nod before excusing herself claiming to have some meeting with some writer about some story he tried to hand in. Peeta didn't buy it for a second but was glad she gave them the space to talk. "What do you want, Haymitch?"

Haymitch sat in an empty chair by Delly's desk, across the room from where Peeta was situated. "Look, I'm not here to play referee to you two. I don't know what happened and I don't particularly wantto know. I just need to make sure you'll keep doing your job."

"What do you still need?"

"Well the girl needs a few more singles. Preferably along the same lines as what you've already done."

Peeta nodded. "I've got some already started so I can just send you those."

"Good. Then there are the ones for the band," Haymitch said slowly, gauging Peeta's reaction.

"What?" The question came out sharper than he intended.

"The band, District 12, when they do their last set of new songs?" Haymitch raised the inflection of his voice at the end, trying to get Peeta in the loop, which he was very much not a part of. Haymitch studied the confused look on the writer's face. "Didn't Katniss tell you that part?"

He gripped the arm of the chair and let out a long breath. "Ah, no."

"Fuck me," Haymitch groaned. "That was the real reason I came all the way over here. The others were getting restless since we hadn't gotten anything and the concert is just over a month away. Let me talk it over with them, see what we can do" He made to leave when he turned back. "You, uh, you doing ok?"

Peeta nodded and relinquished his grip. He smiled, as he did whenever anyone asked that question. "I'm fine. I can get you some stuff for the band."

"Right. Well, uh, when this is over, the concert, I mean, what are you…"

"Plutarch offered me my job back, if I want it," he answered curtly, hoping Haymitch would understand.

Haymitch patted the boy on the shoulder. The hollowness of his voice wasn't that of a typical breakup. He was a shell of his former self. "It'll be shame to let you go, Peeta." He cleared his throat. "She's going to be in the studio on Wednesday."

"I can get you something before that."

"That's not why I told you, Kid," he said, closing the door quietly behind him.

* * *

"Peeta, don't you think this is extreme, sneaking into her apartment when she's recording just so you don't have to see her?" Delly asked, trying to pick through the dresser to find his clothes.

"Need I remind you of Marv, junior year?"

"Hey, at least I had an actual key to his apartment and didn't have to bribe the front desk to get in. Plus, I didn't just drop his shit off in a box."

"What do you want me to do, Delly? Sit here and wait for her to come home so she can lie some more? Thanks, but no thanks. This is for the best." His eyes lingered over the painting that was now leaning against the sofa, the one from her birthday party. She originally told him to keep it at his place because 'having a self-portrait in your own home is tacky,' but he was trying to rid himself of every tangible memory of her. Which was why his sketchbook, full of renderings of her face, her fingers, her hair, everything her, was also in the box. He figured she'd just end up tossing it all, something he couldn't do himself.

She hadn't left much at his apartment, a pair of shoes, some makeup, a couple DVD's that she thought he'd like. It would take longer to get everything of his out of her place. Delly asked if that included the art he contributed that was hanging on the wall but he shook his head. Those were gifts to her and ambiguous enough to the untrained eye. A random viewer would see the splattering of green and brown and blue and black shadows and not know that's what the trees looked like when he and Katniss would sit underneath them and watch the clouds roll by.

"You ready?" She asked quietly, adjusting the strap of the duffle bag full of his clothes. It was the last of his stuff, everything else was already waiting in her car downstairs.

He pulled an envelope from his waistband and smacked it lightly against his hand. With one last look at the painting, he set the letter he wrote to her atop the box. "Yeah, let's go."

* * *

Katniss read the letter every day. It wasn't very long but what it lacked in length it made up for in impact.

_Katniss,_

_My heart fell for you and I thought you would protect it like I would have protected yours, if you had let me. The memory of lying with you, just holding you in my arms, it felt so right. It felt like forever, like nothing was better than that single moment. What made it better is the belief that you were feeling it to. But there was a side of you that I never knew until it was too late. A side that said words you didn't mean. That played games you'd always win._

_I need to forget about everything. Yet for some sick, twisted reason, I don't want to forget._

_I'm sure you'll get plenty of questions about what happened between us. I'm already getting them and I'm a nobody. Don't worry, I've just been saying that we moved on and grew apart. I don't know if they believe it but I guess I can't care about that part anymore. They'll be worse with you. Pretend not to hear them when they say things about you, don't let them get to you. You're stronger now, remember?_

_Your memory breaks my heart. I'm doing better at pretending I'm ok with it. It's easier not having to see you. I never imagined there'd be a day when I didn't want to see you._

_I never really imagined you would hurt me quite like you did._

_Some days I just don't think I'll ever get over you._

_I can't wait for that day to come._

* * *

Katniss felt the tenseness of the studio when she arrived for the first band practice. Not surprisingly, Gale was off on his own, talking to Alma, his manager. Finnick was tuning his guitar and looked to be deep in conversation with Johanna. When she joined them, she got the feeling they had been talking about her. The conversation, despite their best efforts, was strained and Katniss was somewhat relieved when Haymitch's voice came over the speaker telling them it was about time they started.

They had been sent the music and their vocal parts as soon as they were ready, to help speed up the process. Johanna counted them in and Finnick began playing an intricate melody with Gale joining in on harmony. It was one of the few things Finnick insisted upon if Gale was going to be the lead singer.

_Can you lie next to her and give her your heart, your heart as well as your body_  
And can you lie next to her and confess your love, your love as well as your folly  
And can you kneel before the king and say I'm clean, I'm clean

There really was something hauntingly beautiful about the way Gale and Finnick's voices blended together. Both undoubtedly masculine with an air of delicacy; there was little doubt why District 12 had been so successful. But Katniss wasn't focusing on their voices or the harmonies or even what part of the music they were on. This song, the words, they were a message. For her.

_Oh, tell me now, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart_

A sudden, heavy beat from Johanna seemed to change the song from somewhat folksy to a more driving beat. It was just enough to remind Katniss why she was there. Her fingers were on autopilot, allowing her to take notice of the rise and fall of the boys' voices and tempo of the song. She tried not to imagine Peeta as he was writing this but every swell made her stomach lurch.

_A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage_  
You did not think when you sent me to the brink, to the brink  
You desired my attention but denied my affections, my affections

Then, like the sudden calm after a storm, they were back to the beginning, slowly picking the pace up again. It was a back and forth game between calm and fierce.

_So tell me now, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart  
Oh tell me now, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart_

"Not bad for your first run through. Boys, we had some pitch problems we're going to need to run through again. Johanna and Katniss, you can come back here." Haymitch called. Finnick gave the pair an odd look as they set their instruments down but glanced away when he noticed Katniss watching him.

"What's the deal with Finnick?" Katniss asked when they were out of earshot.

Johanna glanced around at the managers and Beetee who were all busy giving notes to the others before violently pulling Katniss into the hallway.

"What the hell?" Katniss hissed, pulling her arm free.

"I should ask you the same question. I know I don't know Bread Boy as well as you but I've heard his songs and there has never been that much rage in them before." Johanna answered in an accusatory voice. "What happened between you two?"

Katniss scoffed. "I told you, we drifted apart. It happens."

Johanna snorted. "I could tell that boy loved you from the first time I saw you two together. There is no way you just 'drifted apart.' What did you do?"

Katniss set her jaw and crossed her arms but didn't deny Johanna's assumption.

"And the little 'hard-ass Brainless routine' you've been pulling since you two split tells me I'm right. What got Bread Boy so pissed off at you?"

"Damn it, Johanna, his name isn't 'Bread Boy!' It's 'Peeta' so stop with the ridiculous nicknames alright? And frankly, it's none of your damn business what happened between us!" Katniss exploded. She was tired of people meddling in her life and she didn't have any desire to tell anyone else what a low-life she really was. It was easier to yell at Johanna for being nosy than admit what she did.

Johanna turned to walk away but spun around and came within inches of Katniss' face. In a very low, almost whispered, voice, she said, "listen closely, Katniss." She made a point to emphasize her name. "Finnick and I liked Peeta because he was the best thing that came into your life in almost three years. But now you two have suddenly 'drifted apart' and Hawthorne's happy as a fucking clam? If I find out that you've given up Peeta for that piece of shit Hawthorne, I swear I will personally make your life hell."

"I didn't cheat on Peeta," Katniss answered. "I would never cheat on Peeta."

"You did something to him. No one has that much anger for no reason."

That comment broke her. Her eyes dropped to the floor and she was unable to look Johanna in the face. "He has every reason to be that angry with me. What I did was worse than cheating."

"You better make it right, Brainless. You fix this." With that, Johanna spun around and headed back inside the studio.

* * *

"Finn?" Katniss wasn't expecting anyone to be at the studio, which was why she opted to come when she did. "What are you doing here?"

He was sitting on a stool with his guitar around his neck, writing furiously on the music stand in front of him. "Oh, hey Katniss," he greeted her, never taking his eyes off the music stand.

"What are you working on?" She slipped off the small messenger bag she packed with enough supplies to keep her busy and out of her apartment all day. As the tribute concert got closer and closer, her home felt smaller and smaller. She found herself needing to escape for long periods of time.

"Oh just some stuff," he mumbled.

She bit her lower lip and furrowed her eyebrows. He had been acting weird ever since she and Peeta broke up, dodging her glances and attempting to avoid whatever room she's in. The scratching of his pencil on paper and seemingly random plucks on his guitar broke the silence she was hoping for, especially if he wasn't going to talk to her. "Finn?" She asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

She set down the notebook she had been doodling in for the past half an hour. She originally came to the studio to tool around on some of the instruments, maybe work out some of the feelings that wouldn't leave her alone. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

She scowled. Her father used to use that line on her to get her to confess to something he may not have already known. "No idea but given your behavior toward me lately I can't help but wonder what I did."

He set his pencil down and wiped his face with his hand. "That's the problem, Kitty Kat. I don't know what you did." Then he looked at her, like he could see straight through her.

She felt exposed, like the first time she met Cinna. "I didn't cheat on him with Gale," she answered, bringing her knees to her chest.

"He seemed like a man on a mission there for a while. I wasn't sure," he admitted, "but I'm glad to know that ship has sailed."

"You and me both, Finn." She smiled at the wink he threw her. "I just...I was stupid. I didn't tell him anything about my contract or how Prim was involved. I couldn't tell him how I really felt about him. How I still feel."

"Tell him now."

She snorted. "It's too late, I think. I hurt him deeper than I thought was possible." She thought back to the letter, the one she read every night. The one she carried with her wherever she went. "Besides, I wouldn't know how to tell him."

Finnick thought this over. "Annie and I broke up."

"I didn't know you two were actually dating."

A smile crept onto his face. "We were. Well, sort of dating. As much 'dating' as you can do when you're in the middle of nowhere shooting a stupid movie. We had 'sneak dates' as she called them, so no one would know. I think us getting caught was what started the ban on District 12 photographs," he said with a chuckle. "Totally worth it though."

"Didn't you say at my party that -"

"Yep," he cut her off. "But we did it anyway. We had even sneakier 'sneak dates' because we couldn't risk getting caught."

"So what happened?"

"Probably a lot of what happened to you. She told me she fell for me and I couldn't say it back. So I told her I didn't believe in love."

"Is that true?" The potential revelation surprised her. Even if he did have the reputation of being a heart breaker, she always believed he was just waiting for the right girl.

"I don't know, Katniss. Look at what 'love' meant to me as a kid. 'Love' was what my father told me, what my uncle told me, what all those women who only wanted to sleep with me proclaimed. Even if only part of that was really 'love' then I don't want anything to do with it." He chuckled softly. "Somehow, though, despite all that, I think I did love her, as much as I could."

"So why don't you tell her?" Katniss asked, mimicking his words to her.

"Yes, that's exactly what a girl wants to hear. 'I think I love you but I don't know.' She'd laugh at me."

"Do you want to love her?"

"With my heart and soul."

She smiled and walked over to him. "Tell her that." She looked at the paper he was working on. "New song?"

"For her. Cheesy, I know, but music is the only way I can really express myself. Gale would never go for it, not that I really want him anywhere near it."

"Can I hear what you've got so far?" she asked.

He blushed, a sight she had never seen, but agreed.

_I remember the first time that I ever saw you_  
I was so far gone before I even knew.  
You were so beautiful I could not believe my eyes  
My heart dropped I was barely alive.  
Sometimes I think, well I think too much  
But when it's of you, it's never even enough.  
My heart stopped and my heart froze  
I couldn't talk, God knows  
And I wanna hold you forever and never let you go  
With all my heart and soul I think I love you but I don't know. I don't know.  
But I wanna love you with my heart and soul.

* * *

"Peeta? You got another letter. You want me to add that one to the pile?"

Peeta looked up from his computer at the intern standing in the doorway of his new office. When he came back, Delly gave him one of the smaller offices with a door to give him some privacy from the other workers who constantly questioned him. "If it's from her."

Katniss had started sending Peeta letters at the beginning of June. One every few days at first but now it was everyday. He never read them, but couldn't bring himself to throwing them out just yet. Delly didn't understand why he insisted on keeping them if he wasn't interested in what they said. If he was being honest, he didn't know why either.

He heard a commotion outside and groaned. Now that he finished everything for District 12, Heavensebee wanted him to get back into the swing of writing for the paper again. It should have been like riding a bike but he kept getting distracted and hadn't written anything usable all morning.

"Back the fuck off or you'll find out just how true all those rumors are. I'm looking for Peeta."

He raised his head when he heard his name from that all too identifiable voice. He stood and walked to the hallway with a smirk.

"Listen, kid, I don't really give two shits about your policies. I'm just here to see- Bread Boy!" Johanna exclaimed upon seeing him. She turned back to whoever she was talking to, "no worries, I found him."

Delly stepping into the hallway at that moment and motioned for them to get into his office. Peeta grabbed for Johanna's arm and closed the door. "What are you doing here, Johanna?"

"What? A girl can't stop by and say hi to a friend at his new...old...job?" She winked at him and began walking around, inspecting the minimal decorations. "Although I must say I'm disappointed in the lack of 'me' in here."

He sighed. "You know why I-"

"That's the thing, Bread Boy, I don't. Seems your ex is sticking with the same story about you two. Now you and I both know that's a load of crap." She slid into a chair sideways, letting her legs dangle off the arm rest and looked at him expectantly.

"Whatever Katniss is telling people is what I'm going with. We just became different people," he said. 'Or I just realized who she really was.'

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Are you coming to the concert?"

"I don't think it's such a good idea." He ran his hand across the back of his neck. "Not sure I'd be able to handle seeing them like they used to be."

"The asshole certainly didn't waste any time getting her to revert back, that's for damn sure."

"Right, listen, Jo, that's super but I don't really want to hear about Katniss and Gale 'reverting back,' alright?" He sat behind his desk, his shoulders slumped and his head in his hands. "We broke up. She can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants just, don't tell me."

Johanna stared intently at him, inhaling slowly as her tongue ran along the front of her teeth so she made a strange sucking sound. When he finally looked up at her, she grinned. "They're not 'together' like that. I meant that he's done a pretty good job of pushing her back to being a…prop to him. She didn't put up much of a fight, though I can't say I blame her. If I had the choice of publicly admitting I ruined the best thing I ever had or letting someone else do it, I'm ashamed to admit I'd do the latter." She stretched and climbed out of the chair. "You really should consider coming."

Delly smiled slyly at Peeta after Johanna left. Peeta groaned and let his head fall on top of his desk, knowing full well she had overheard the entire conversation. "We're not going, Delly. I have no desire to see her."

* * *

"What did I tell you about leaving that boy alone?" Haymitch insisted, walking into her apartment as soon as she opened the door. "What part of that was unclear to you?"

"Good morning, Haymitch. Please come in," Katniss snipped sarcastically. She rolled her eyes as Effie followed him in.

"You seem to think I'm in a joking mood," he snapped back. Effie tutted over him but he swatted her away. "Here I thought he was finally recovering and you've fucked it up beyond repair."

"Katniss, what were you thinking? You knew Haymitch was working on making things better," Effie chided.

"Jesus, just gang the fuck up on Katniss why don't you?"

"You damn well deserve it from someone. You're lucky the boy is as genuinely nice as he is and only taking his frustration out on you in song," Haymitch warned her. "Because, believe me, if I were him, I'd make sure everyone knew what you did."

She knew it was a mistake telling Haymitch and Effie the truth. But her emotional outbursts had gotten worse and she would scream if anyone even mentioned Peeta's name around her. The guilt was worse than before he found out. Afterward, Haymitch and Effie told her to avoid contact with him, that they would take care of everything, and she should concentrate on her job. She didn't listen to their advice about Leevy. She didn't listen this time either.

When Haymitch talked to Peeta to get the last song for her, he found out about her letters. And the tickets she sent him. That he returned. Every time. "I thought since I made this mess that I could fix it."

"Well you didn't. And now it'll take a damned miracle to get him there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll start with the songs (which, if you've never heard, definitely check them out on youtube. The two actually used in this chapter are two of my absolute favorite songs for very different reasons):
> 
> "Blank White Page" performed by Mumford & Sons, written by Marcus Mumford.
> 
> "Heart and Soul" performed by Anchondo, written by Hector Anchondo
> 
> Peeta's letter included lines from two songs I originally intended to have Katniss sing, but it seemed to work better to use them in that form.
> 
> "Set Fire to the Rain" performed by Adele, written by Adele Adkins and Fraser T Smith
> 
> "Cry" performed by Kelly Clarkson, written by Kelly Clarkson, Jason Halbert, and Mark Townsend


	19. Here (In Your Arms)

_'This is a stupid idea,'_ she told herself, running her finger along the edge of the glass the bartender set in front of her. If she didn't feel like such a fool, she'd find this scenario funny. Almost a year ago she was in this same bar, at this same bar stool, waiting for the same person. She sent him a text message a few days ago. _Same place as before. Tuesday. Noon._

"You seem pretty confident I'd show, Everdeen," he said, coming up behind her. "I'll admit the temptation to stand you up was strong." He slid an envelope full of cash across the bar to her. "It's the same as what you gave me. Feel free to count it."

She made no effort to reach for the money, instead her fingers continued their lazy circle around the glass. She traced a bead of condensation as it trailed onto the coaster beneath. It wasn't until she saw him move to walk away that she finally acknowledged his presence. "Why did you return this? I'd have pegged you for someone who thrived off the potential scandal."

He turned back to her with a raised eyebrow. She still wasn't exactly looking at him but her fingers stilled and she was focused on the mirror behind the bar, watching him through that. He ordered a drink and slid next to her. "I assume you now know my connection with your 'lover boy?' I don't really like the guy, he's too big of a suck-up who thinks he's better than I am just because of what we happen to be good at. He looks at me the same way you do, as if I were some vile, nefarious, immoral guy who's just out to make other people's lives a living hell." He smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe there's a semblance of truth in that. It's been easy for me to do my job because you people know what you're getting into. You can't survive in this world without people like me and people like me can't survive without you. We balance each other out because we both have jobs to do. It never hurt anyone, despite what anyone else thought."

She kept her eyes glued on the mirror but could see him watching her intently, like he did when she left Gale in the park. He swallowed the rest of his drink. "I may do some questionable things to get my job done but I don't hurt people intentionally. Until that day, I didn't believe anyone was really getting hurt. I don't like Peeta, but that day I realized that's what we were doing the whole time."

He flipped some money on the counter as he got up to leave. "Besides, I figured it'd get me some brownie points with Delly. Girl's got a hell of a wallop," he pointed to his slightly puffy cheekbone Katniss hadn't noticed before. "Turns out she was more willing to punish me for my role in your scheme than your boy was. Though if that's any indication of what she's like between the sheets, it was totally worth it." He winked suggestively at Katniss, who snorted.

"You're a better person than I am, Cato," she said. "Even if you are a vile, nefarious, immoral guy who still thinks a woman who punches him would be willing to sleep with him."

"Keep that between us, huh, Everdeen? Can't let it ruin my reputation in these parts."

* * *

Delly flipped through the stack of mail on Peeta's desk. "I can't believe she's still writing to you. How has she not gotten the hint yet?"

"Who knows," he mumbled, "must be my irresistible charm or something."

"Can I open them?"

He glanced up at her, then back down at his work without saying a word.

She pouted. "Fine. I'm going to lock up the building. You almost done?"

"Yeah," he answered, keeping his eyes on the screen. He was on a roll, which felt like an odd way to think about writing about dead people, but it gave him a sense of calm.

Delly was about to lock up the front doors when a woman outside caught her attention. She was pacing back and forth, debating where she wanted to go. Her hands fidgeted with the end of her braid and she was talking to herself, if her animated facial expressions meant anything. Delly opening the door startled the other woman. They stared at each other; Delly's eyes fiercely protective, Katniss' wide in fear.

"Why are you here?" Delly asked, her voice more biting than Katniss imagined possible.

"I, uh, I came to see Peeta," Katniss answered, suddenly timid in front of Delly.

"Everyone's gone."

"He wasn't home," she explained. "I thought maybe-"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe he'd still be here. I knew he got his job back."

"He is here," Delly started. Before Katniss could ask to see him, Delly put her hand up. The anger she knew Peeta was feeling but refusing to let lose was now raging through her. "The answer is no. No, I will not tell him you're here. No, I will not let you see him. No, he does not want anything to do with you anymore, you selfish bitch. Peeta Mellark is the kindest man I have ever met; he is the absolute definition of a pure soul. You screwed him over once and I'll be damned if you think you can do it again. Your best bet would be to leave and never come back. Don't go to his apartment, don't go anywhere he likes to go. Stay away from him or so help me God I will make sure everyone knows who you really are."

Delly had the same eerie calmness when she was upset as Peeta did. Neither raised their voices, but found strength in staying as even-keeled as possible. Katniss could tell the other woman had no intention of backing down. She suspected even a tank couldn't get past Delly at this point.

"Will you give him something for me?" Katniss held out a envelope with just his name across the front. "You have my word that I'm done trying to talk to him." As soon as Delly grabbed the envelope, Katniss turned and walked off into the darkness.

She knew she shouldn't read it, but the envelope wasn't sealed. And she wasn't as good of a person as Peeta was. And she didn't trust Katniss Everdeen.

_Peeta,_

_I assume you haven't read anything I've sent you. I don't blame you. I read your letter everyday but your words were always more beautiful than mine. I tried working on our song, well, I guess your song. I wasn't much help during the process. I'm still no good at it._

_I want you at the show. I know you won't go. Again, I don't blame you. But I still want you._

_More so, I need you. I need you and your beautiful words. I need your optimism and your light. I can't do any of this without you. I never could. I still can't. I don't know how to use words the way you do. Maybe that's what got me in trouble in the first place._

_I don't expect much from this. Haymitch already told me it's going to take a miracle to get you to go to the concert. This probably won't help. If he knew I was doing this he'd want to kill me more than he already does. Thankfully the drinking tends to slow down his reaction time so I should be able to take him._

_The truth is, although you did start out as a boost to my success, you became so much more than that. I don't know when it happened and I know I could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve you._

_The plan is to play our song at the concert. It's finished now even though it's nothing special. At least not my part. But that will be it for us, I suppose. You won't have to put up with my mood swings or random pastry cravings every again. We'll go our separate ways and I hope the day comes when you can forget about me and be happy. You deserve that more than anyone._

_-Katniss_

It was the final sheet of paper that caused Delly to lock up and march back inside on a mission. She didn't want to empathize with Katniss, sensing it would be viewed as a form of treachery from her friend, but she saw a look in the other woman's eyes when she relented. It was the hauntingly lonely look that Peeta had been wearing since the two broke up. They were miserable, both of them, and she now cared. Now, because what Katniss left for him made her realize how much they both needed this. When she reached her floor, she saw the light in Peeta's office was still on so she slipped into hers and searched her desk for the number she needed.

"Effie Trinket."

"Effie, it's uh, Delly. Peeta's friend? I've talked to Haymi-"

"Yes, dear, I know who you are. I'm curious why you're calling. We are extremely busy trying to get everything put together for the concert."

"That's why I'm calling. Um, Haymitch had asked before if I'd be willing to help get Peeta to the concert." Delly quickly looked over her shoulder, double checking for Peeta to just appear. He was heavy footed but she didn't want to take any chances. "I've reconsidered my original answer. He said if that happened I was supposed to call you."

The woman on the other line was silent and Delly held her breath as she anxiously waited for the response. "Did he?" Her voice softened, as if she were smiling. "Right. Yes I suppose I may have time in a few days. Around 3:00. That should work just fine, give everyone enough time in case things should work out..." the woman continued talking more to herself than Delly

After they worked out the details, Delly hoped she was doing the right thing. Despite how it may appear, she really didn't enjoy meddling in his life, especially his romantic life. Sure, she'd give him unwarranted advice and try to forewarn him when things were about to go to shit but actual, real-live interference like this was rare. This was different; she knew it and she knew that eventually he'd know it too. Not that it made her feel any better about going behind his back.

* * *

Three sharp knocks at his office door at exactly 3pm woke Peeta out of the mid-day nap he hadn't even realized he had been taking. He nearly fell backwards out of his chair in his wake and was still rubbing his chest when he opened the door, as though that action would slow down his racing heart.

Effie Trinket was not who he expected to see standing on the other side, smiling as only Effie Trinket could. She was back to her heavy makeup and ridiculous outfits, leaving a wake of commotion behind her. He got the feeling he was never going to be allowed to have visitors after this. As if Johanna wasn't bad enough.

She stood patiently outside the door, tapping her foot until he realized she was waiting for him to ask her in. _'Katniss wasn't kidding, she is a stickler for manners.'_

"Effie, what can I do for you?" He asked, closing the door behind her. "Was there a problem with one of the songs I sent over?"

She chuckled. "No, the songs were just fine. A bit on the angry side but that's to be expected, I suppose, given the circumstances."

"I take it she told you what happened?"

Effie nodded but dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "Peeta, there's something you don't fully understand about the contract Katniss signed with Snow. It's not a typical contract in that the price of failure is...extreme."

"I know about her sister. She told me she had to succeed to keep her out of this world. I'm not mad about that. Hell, I probably would have done the same thing if I were in her position." Peeta shook her head. "It's everything else; the lies, the games, the fact that I don't know if I ever knew the real Katniss."

"It wasn't just about her sister. Snow's contracts are never that simple. There are nuances that only he and the signer are privvy to. In her case, her success not only protected Primrose, it would protect Haymitch, who was still paying his debt to Snow."

She sighed. "There was a lot more pressure on her than anyone else in the band. I suppose that was my fault. In the official memo that was sent out regarding the band and potential future of the members, there was a not-so-subtle threat to Haymitch that it was time to settle his debt. I knew he and Katniss would push one another and it was supposed to be for the best, he would guide her and she could protect him."

"Effie that still doesn't explain why she had to lie to me about my role or Cato or anything." Peeta was frustrated. Not at Effie or even Katniss, but just in general. He didn't like being thought of as too weak to handle the gravity of the situation. Even still, Effie seemed to be dancing around the issue at hand.

"Sometimes," she paused and began twirling the small gold band around her finger. He had never noticed it before, most likely because she often wore all kinds of jewelry , including rings on all her fingers. Such a simple piece now looked out of place on her hand. "Sometimes people do desperate things to protect those they love, Peeta."

Katniss and Effie were not alike, but they had more in common that Katniss ever suspected. It was the similarities that fueled Effie's dislike of the younger girl. Katniss reminded Effie too much of herself when she was younger. Katniss had the opportunity to avoid the scenario she found herself in if she would only use her brain every so often rather than her emotions. She jumped at the offer Snow made her without weighing her options. She panicked at the thought of her sister being involved in this world and didn't bother to consider the consequences of her decisions. Snow smelled the fear that continued to radiate off the girl in waves.

Just as it did when Effie was her age.

Effie sucked in her breath, only three other people knew how she got to this place from her once simple life in rural Montana. With them, she never had to say anything, they just knew, they were a part of it. She looked at the man sitting across from her, blond hair falling into his eyes. He certainly was able to fool most people into believing he was fine but she saw past the façade, at his sunken eyes from days without sleep. That's what the girl, Delly, told her and now Effie could see exactly what she was talking about. Perhaps this is the time when her story actually needed to be told.

Snow cornered both women at their lowest emotional point and provided both with the opportunity to make something better of it. For Katniss, it was the attempt to purge the guilt of her father's death. It was a way to protect her baby sister from ever being in the same position. For Effie, Snow's offer was a fresh start, an escape from her meaningless life and bleak future, a promise of fame and fortune and adventure. Her unplanned pregnancy forced her into a marriage, the miscarriage caused her misery, and Snow's contract gave her hope. He called her a stupid girl when she signed her contract but she assumed he was talking about her life before. How could choosing freedom be a stupid choice?

She often thought back to his threats against her husband, only a careless teenager himself, and how little she cared. Snow promised to kill him if she stepped out of line. She raised her chin defiantly against him. He had nothing against her. Except her apathy.

Peeta watched her mouth dip into a small frown and her forehead crinkle.

"He knew I wanted to divorce the man, that was never a question he had to ask. I suppose that was his hold over me."

"Why would that be a hold over you?" Peeta asked.

"Snow believes that hope is the only thing stronger than fear, a little hope is effective. That's what he provides all of his employees- that little touch of hope. If Katniss makes him enough money, her sister would be protected permanently from this world. If I do my job up to his standard, he would permit my divorce to go through." She didn't care about his threats against her life back home, which Snow used against her. He knew keeping her locked in that marriage caused her more pain than anything else he could do to her. Especially when she fell in love with a washed-up guitarist with a drinking problem and reputation for failure. She was a stupid girl.

She could tell the wheels in Peeta's head were starting to turn; he was beginning to understand the complicated weave of what it meant to be an employee of Snow. His eyes shifted back and forth, as if he were solving some difficult math problem and couldn't arrive at the correct answer. "He wouldn't let you divorce? So would Gale and-"

Effie clucked her tongue slightly. "Everyone's 'hope' is different. It's very personal to the employee; it's what they desire more than anything else."

She told him that at one point Snow offered her the ability to buy out her contract at a price she could easily afford. She'd be free of his clutches, could file for divorce from her husband, and live the life she wanted. She considered herself a rational woman at that point and asked why he was being so generous. His laugh sent unwanted chills across her skin. His beady eyes stared straight into her soul. 'It's simple' he told her, 'Mr. Abernathy offered to transfer your debt to him.' It would have, undoubtedly, bound Haymitch to Snow for the rest of his life.

He was testing her and she failed, letting her emotions cloud her, once again. She was a stupid girl, once again. Haymitch was furious with her, claiming he had nothing Snow could use against him so it wasn't as bad of a punishment as she thought. She knew better – he had the guilt of every failed musician before him on his hands. His punishment would be more of the same, year after year, kid after kid. He didn't understand why she would give up her freedom so carelessly. He didn't believe her when she told him it would worse in that world for her because she'd be without him. Haymitch called her a silly girl but didn't refute her claim. They agreed that night that never again would they talk about the sacrifice she made to protect the one she loved.

"Effie, I don't understand."

"I look back at that decision every day of my life, Peeta, and wonder if it was the right one. I still can't be with the person I love and we're both still stuck in this miserable existence. My husband is still back home, knowing his wife chose another man over him, but unable to do anything about it. We all could have moved on if I had left. Snow would have had nothing on Haymitch, walking away would have proven that we meant nothing to one another. But I was afraid of losing the only thing that made me happy. I made a mistake that affected so much more than just me because, at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do."

He chewed on his top lip. "Love's a real bitch sometimes isn't it?"

Her laughter caught him off guard. He hadn't even realized that he swore until she let out a very unladylike snort. "It makes us do things we may not do normally."

"I've heard that, before."

She raised an eyebrow. "Have you?" She stood to leave and when he opened the door for her, she rested her hand on his cheek. "Must have been a smart man to say such things. Such a man wouldn't let a girl's desperate actions overtake her true intentions."

"Effie?" He called as she began to walk back down the hall. "What does Snow have against me? What's my 'hope'?"

She exhaled slowly. "It's better if you don't know."

* * *

"I'm not going."

"You are. We're going to drive to the amphitheater and listen to what your songs sound like when there are thousands of people screaming behind them. Then, we'll drive back here, get shit faced, so you can move past Katniss fucking Everdeen." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You need this. Think of it as the ultimate form of closure. Once the concert is done, you'll be done with her."

Peeta groaned. "I've lost this battle haven't I?"

"You lost it a long time ago, my friend." Delly smiled, holding up the pair of tickets she acquired. "Now go get dressed. We leave in an hour."

* * *

Katniss looked at herself in the mirror and took three deep breaths _inhale_ 'you can do this, Katniss. It's no different than any other show you've done' _exhale._ _inhale_ 'sure, you haven't performed like this in almost a year, especially not to an audience this large. Plus everyone watching on television' _exhale._ _inhale_ 'it's one performance. Get through this and you can get through anything' _exhale._

"How you holding up?" Haymitch appeared in the vanity mirror when she finished.

She smirked. "Doesn't really matter, does it, Haymitch? The show will go on regardless of my level of preparedness."

"That is an excellent point." He took a swig of his flask. "Although we'd all prefer if you didn't pass out in the middle of it."

The concert was set to start in a little over an hour and even from her make-shift dressing room, she could hear the crowd start to file in for their sold-out performance. She never used to be nervous before shows, though that may have been because she never had to sing then. Especially the songs she'd be singing tonight. Luckily, they were starting the show with some of District 12's older songs so she could ease her way back into it.

He, along with everyone else, noticed her anger had subsided in the last few weeks, replaced by somberness. It started the same night Effie got the call from Delly saying she'd convince Peeta to go to the concert, so Haymitch assumed Katniss defied the order to leave Peeta alone. He knew she would.

They sat in silence until Effie knocked on the door. "It's time."

"Ready, Sweetheart?"

Katniss sighed and took one more look at the mirror. She reached up and pulled down a picture she stuck in the frame. She burned most of the pictures Cato sent her, willing to give up the physical memory of the event if it meant never having to see what broke Peeta. Katniss kept one of them when they were in the woods, watching the birds hop from branch to branch and repeat the melody she sang to them. His arms were wrapped around her and his lips were pressed against her temple. She was happy then, feeling more like herself for the first time in years.

She missed him more than she could possibly understand at that moment. "I wish my dad was here," she said quietly. "He'd know what to do."

* * *

The crowd outside the amphitheater was overwhelming. Thousands of people, old and young, men and women, everyone imaginable clamored excitedly as they began filing in. Outside the stadium were banners that seemed to transition between band members. Gale's picture came up first, in all his 'tall, dark, handsome, and angsty' glory. When they overheard a pair of young girls describe him that way, Delly made a point to wretch as loudly as possible. Johanna came up with a smirk and threw her drumsticks at the camera, giving the effect of them being thrown into the crowd. All Finnick had to do was wink and a collective sigh rippled through the crowd.

"Isn't he dreamy?" Delly said. At first Peeta thought she was kidding but when he saw her gazing adoringly at Finnick's wind-blown hair and bright smile, he shook his head and laughed. When the banners changed to show Katniss, he felt his chest tightened. It was a real-life visual of his painting of her. Starting in a white dress, she spun around and was instantly in a pair of black shorts, knee-high black boots, and heavy dark makeup. Behind her flames grew and overtook the banner. Then the group was superimposed together with 'District 12' flying at the front of the screen, before the cycle started over.

He allowed Delly to lead them to their seats, a few rows from the front, near the aisle. She told him that was so they could make a quick getaway if they needed to. When he asked how she snagged these tickets she rolled her eyes like it was obvious but never actually answered his question. The lights began to dim and the buzz throughout the crowd grew. A few cheers rang out sporadically and passed through the crowd in waves. On stage, a few roadies set up the equipment and did the final mike check. The screens on the side of the stage, meant to help those in the back of the amphitheater see the action up close, flickered on and showed the group shot from outside.

Delly was shaking like a puppy from her excitement. "Peeta, I know I shouldn't be looking forward to this so much, and know that I'm completely Team Peeta right now, but I am so glad we're here." She kissed his cheek enthusiastically, making him smile. He threw his arm over her shoulders and laughed. At least one of them would be having a good time.

The lights around the amphitheater dropped and above the cheering that followed, a voice crackled over the speakers. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the District 12 Tribute Concert Event! Tonight's show is being broadcast across the country so everyone can be a part of this historic event." Peeta was glad it was dark so when he rolled his eyes no one could see. "For those of you here live, proceeds from this event, including ticket and merchandise sales, will be donated to a charity of the band's choosing. But don't feel left out, you viewers at home; you'll have the opportunity to donate throughout the entire concert, simply by calling the toll free number across the bottom of your screen. Now, settle back and enjoy the world-wide phenomenon that is 'District 12!'"

The lights onstage came on and everyone screamed their approval as all four members were in what many in the audience believed to be their rightful places. Namely, together again. Peeta recognized the opening song from Delly's repetitive playing of their debut cd, but found himself not paying as close attention as he probably should have. Instead he kept his eyes on Katniss; a slight smile on her lips as she glanced occasionally over at Finnick. He really didn't want to admit that the band was good. That it was easy to get lost in their music. That Gale could sing. And he sure as hell wasn't going to tell anyone the group of them did seem to fit together.

* * *

"Mom! The concert is starting!" Prim squealed into the phone. She resituated the bowl of popcorn between her legs and let out a small shriek when the camera focused in on Katniss for the first time. She had been keeping track of her big sister's career, buying every album and single she was a part of. Her dorm room was littered with posters and articles from magazines or newspapers, so much so that her roommate, Rue, said she was worse than a teenage girl fawning over the latest boy band.

She wanted to come home to watch the concert with her mother but couldn't afford the plane ticket. She figured the matriarch would make some excuse about having to work, so Prim insisted that they "watch" the concert together over the phone.

"I see that, Primrose, there's no need to shout." Caroline Everdeen chuckled into the phone. She had become softer with her younger daughter since Katniss left, determined to fulfill the promise she made that day. "I'm watching her."

"Isn't she incredible? I wish I could tell people she was my sister. I wish she knew how proud I was of her." Prim was too young when Katniss left to really understand why it was important for her to keep their relationship quiet. Caroline told her it was for Katniss' best interests so Prim did as she was told. But it was moments like this, when her big sister was playing in front of thousands of people, that were the hardest.

"She's wonderful, Prim." For a moment, Caroline got lost in her daughter's dark features and sharp grey eyes, just like her father's. "She's simply wonderful."

* * *

The concert passed quickly and Peeta made a mental note to tell Johanna how much he liked her angry, loud, completely inappropriate new band. Finnick played a short set, which included with a song composed for his "one true love" which made every woman, and a handful of men, yell and sob because obviously it was written for them. If Delly hadn't been one of the women screaming, Peeta would have made a joke about how ridiculous the whole ordeal was. But Delly had a mean left hook and he had no intention of being on the wrong side of it.

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for you kind support. It is my great pleasure to bring out the next performer, Katniss Everdeen!" Finnick introduced her to the roaring audience and Peeta could have sworn he saw a blush cross her cheeks. She was nervous, playing with the end of her signature braid slightly.

Delly reached over and wordlessly held onto Peeta's arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He, on the other hand, kept his eyes focused on Katniss.

"Katniss, as you know, has already released a few singles from her solo album so you know she's no slouch in that department. And you'll be privileged to hear songs from that album tonight. However, before she starts with those, Miss Everdeen will be performing a brand new song, never before heard by. It's her first foray into songwriting, and it's for someone very special in her life, so take it easy on her, yeah?" He joked, elbowing her slightly. "Put your hands together for the lovely Katniss Everdeen!"

Through the applause of the audience, Peeta could hear Delly repeating "and Peeta Mellark," as though anyone on stage could hear her or those around her cared. His breath caught in his chest as he stared at her taking her place on a stool in the middle of the stage. "Delly, I...I have to go. I thought I could do this but I just can't."

"I'll come with you. We'll come back when her set's done."

"No, you, you stay. Enjoy the show. Let me know how it goes. I'll just be across the street at the bar." He smiled sadly at her and squeezed her hand. He began shuffling his way to the aisle, pushing past the fans who couldn't figure out that he was trying to move. He was a few rows up when he heard her voice cut through the noise and bring the entire amphitheater to silence.

 _For you, there'll be no more crying, for you, the sun will be shining,_  
And I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright, I know it's right  
To you, I'll give the world, to you, I'll never be cold  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright, I know it's right.

He turned back to the stage. These weren't the lyrics they had come up with; it was completely new to him. As he watched the stage, he could swear she was looking directly at him. It couldn't have been, since he was one in almost 90,000 people there.

_And the songbirds are singing, like they know the score,  
And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before._

She had been searching for him, hoping in vain that he would have shown up, that her letter would have made a difference. When she asked Haymitch before she went onstage, he didn't seem hopeful. She swore that she saw him at one point but figured it must have been her imagination, she must have been willing herself to see him when he wasn't there.

 _And I wish you all the love in the world,_  
But most of all, I wish it from myself.  
And the songbirds keep singing, like they know the score,  
And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before, like never before.

Peeta slowly walked back to the row where Delly was standing and she mouthed the word 'aww' at him. He chuckled and when she motioned with her head that he should go backstage, he nodded. He all but ran to the fence that protected the stage, only to be stopped by a large security guard.

"No one's allowed backstage."

"Oh, you don't understand, I know her. I know Katniss. I'm her songwriter."

The bouncer shook his head and crossed his arms. "Sorry, man, no can do. I'm under strict orders not to allow anyone backstage during the show. You'll have to go back to your seat."

Peeta looked back at the stage, where Katniss was being joined by Finnick and some other musicians to start her next song.

"Dude, come on, I wrote that song she's singing now. Peeta Mellark, just ask anyone they all know me."

"Dude," the bouncer spat, "I don't really give a crap what you wrote. You can't get back here."

"Oh, for fuck's sake let the boy through." Peeta didn't think he'd ever be so happy to hear Haymitch's voice.

The bouncer turned to where the manager was leaning against a speaker, trusty flask in his hand. "Sir, I'm under orders-"

"He's with me. Let him through." The bouncer opened the gate, staring at Peeta as he passed him. "It's about damn time, Boy. Where the hell have you been?" Haymitch smacked Peeta hard on the back. "She'll be taking a break soon."

Peeta figured he must look like a crazy man, grinning a widely as he was, but he just ran his hand through is hair and jogged to the empty backstage area. He had been pacing for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to say, when he felt a hard body crash into his. "What the hell?"

"I should say the same to you. What the fuck are you doing here, Mellark?" Gale growled, pushing Peeta into a wall. He held his forearm against Peeta's throat, effectively cutting off his air flow.

Peeta struggled against his arm and eventually kicked him hard enough in the shin to break free. "I'm here to see Katniss. Not that it's any of your damn business," he spat.

"And what makes you think Katniss wants to see you? You deserted her, you douche-bag, and you know who had to pick up the pieces? Me."

"I'm sure you were all too happy to help with that process, weren't you?"

Gale shoved him again. "Fuck you, Mellark. What did you think you were going to accomplish here, huh? You think you can just show up and things will go back to the way they were? Well you're too late. Because this isn't a farewell concert, it's a reunion. We all decided that we're going to give it another go, the way it should be, with me taking the reins. You're worthless now, Mellark. We don't need you to write songs anymore. And you'll find that Katniss has learned her rightful place as a band member, not a solo star. This," he indicated to the stage, "is temporary. She doesn't belong up there like that. She's not happy up there, like that. You know it, I know it, and she knows it. So feel free to run back to your pathetic little life. I'll take good care of Miss Everdeen."

"No, Miss Everdeen can take care of herself, you asshole." Gale flipped around to the welcoming fist of Katniss, herself. Neither man had noticed that she finished her song and was letting Finnick play out his improvised guitar solo.

Gale crumpled to the ground, holding his now bleeding nose. "You fucking bitch!" He cried in pain.

"I'm the fucking bitch?" She asked, pressing the heel of her boot into his chest. "Coming from the man who still feels the need to put a woman in her place? It took me a while to figure you out. To figure out why you started acting differently, why you were so insistent about this concert and our reunion. You couldn't stand that I was happy without you. But that's not really what this was about. It was never about Peeta and me, this is about me being more successful than you. You can't handle that people like me better, can you? You're a petty, little man, Gale Hawthorne." She increased the pressure on his chest, causing him to whimper. She bent over, hovering above his face. "I've changed my mind. I'm not keen on the band getting back together anymore. I think we're all better off without you."

She released her hold on him and he scuttled off, calling for Alma, holding his nose to try to contain the bleeding. Katniss began to shake her hand, knuckles stinging from the impact. Instinctively, Peeta reached out and ran his thumb over her hand, assessing the potential damage.

"You came?" She was asking, looking at him as if he were a ghost or mirage. He didn't answer, just continued running his thumb over her hand. "I didn't think you would. I would have understood if you hadn't because I can't say I wouldn't have done the same but I'm still glad you're here because I've missed you and I'm so sorry for what I did, Peeta, I'm so-"

He dropped her hand and moved his to cup her face. She felt alive for the first time since he left, just from the warm touch of his hand. "Stop, Katniss. I came because I...there are things I need to know." He studied her face before sucking in a deep breath. Hesitantly, he asked, " part of your contact with Snow required your solo album to be successful?"

The look in his eye was so intense. She opened her mouth but no words came out. So she did the only other thing she could think to do. She nodded.

"Or he'd hurt your sister. Somehow."

She paused. Nod.

"You...you needed my help with that."

Nod.

He exhaled, blowing strands of his hair from his forehead. "You hired Cato to follow you around."

She cringed, hating him for bringing it up. Hating herself more for her answer.

"To improve your image."

_'To help my sister by improving my image.'_

"You used me to help fix your image."

Her breathing hitched. Very slowly, and shamefully, she nodded, leaving her head hang down at her chest.

"You kissed Gale in the park."

For the first time, she was relieved to be able to shake her head. The pictures of her and Gale certainly gave that impression, and given their history it was clear why this would be a concern of his. Why it was a concern of everyone who talked to her about what happened. She looked up when he didn't ask another question and caught a slight sense of relief wash across his features.

"You wrote that song," his voice cracked slightly, "for me."

She kept her eyes locked on his as she nodded. Once again, not trusting her own voice.

"You have to answer this one, Katniss, not just shake your head." He took a deep breath. "You love me. Real or not real?"

Her eyes shot up and stared into his for the briefest of moments before she answered, in a clear, strong voice. "Real. So very, very real."

He smiled, his blue eyes shining as they began to well up.

"You still love me?" The strength was immediately replaced by uncertainty.

He pulled her close and when his lips were right against hers, she made out one word, "always." She smiled, the pressure from his lips only making her hungrier for more. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he moved his down her back. When he lifted her slightly, she wrapped her legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss. Her back was against a column, helping ease the pressure on his body. She parted her lips and sighed happily at the feel of his tongue. "I love you," she whispered when they broke apart. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you earlier."

"I don't care. You love me now, that's all I want." He kissed her again, one hand holding her up, the other gripping her braid behind her head.

His kiss still made her world stop. She couldn't hear the music being played or the crowd yelling. When he touched her, that was all she could feel, all she could process. Her head was spinning but at that moment she never wanted it to stop. Dizzy, breathless, happy. If that was love then she would have to remember to kick herself for not realizing she loved him sooner, for not allowing herself to love him, for believing she didn't deserve this kind of love.

* * *

The trio of blonde girls were dancing around the living room, singing along to the television. Their mother laughed and cheered them on from the kitchen, peeking in on them every so often. The eldest plopped down on the floor on her stomach when Finnick Odair introduced Katniss to the stage. Her twin sisters followed suit and propped themselves up on their elbows like her.

Their parents were both in the kitchen putting away dinner dishes when all three girls let out high pitched squeals and a chorus of "ew's."

"What's going on in there?" Their father called.

"Kissing!" One of the twins called back. "There are people kissing on TV!"

Their father chuckled and walked into the living room, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Now, girls, you've seen people kiss before. This is nothing to - holy shit!"

"Language!" His wife chastised from the kitchen, as his daughters giggled at their dad's accidental swear.

"Lydia? Lydia, come in here." His voice was borderline giddy when he called for her.

"What has got you all in a tizzy, Graham? Oh." She stopped short when she saw the TV. Glancing at her husband, he was smiling more brightly than she had seen in a long time. "Is that..."

"It's him, Lydia," Graham confirmed, pulling her in for a hug and burying his head in her shoulder.

"Who is it, Daddy?"

He wiped his eye and crouched down by his daughters. "That, girls, is your Uncle Peeta."

The twins scrunched their faces. They had never met this 'Uncle Peeta' but Wren, the oldest, immediately ran to her room and brought down a frame. "This Uncle Peeta?" She asked, proudly holding out the painting.

"That Uncle Peeta, baby."

The girl smiled as if he were her brother and not the long-lost uncle she hardly knew. She dropped the painting and jumped at her father, who stood and twirled her. They both laughed like fools in their small living room in their small Ohio town as Peeta spun Katniss around backstage in California.

* * *

She laughed and made him stop spinning her so she could kiss him again. A tap on her shoulder broke her trance. As they turned, they both flushed as a spotlight was focused solely on them. Looking around, they caught sight of themselves on the screens surrounding the stage.

Standing behind her was Haymitch with an approving glint in his eye. "While this is absolutely adorable, Sweetheart, you've got a job to finish. Up for it?"

She looked back to Peeta who grinned. "Go play." He kissed her once again and sent her on her way.

She accepted her bass from Haymitch and returned onstage amid the cheering crowd. Her face was flushed, her lips red from kissing Peeta, and her braid was coming undone, but she couldn't remember a time when she cared less.

Johanna smacked her ass with a drumstick as she ran past, chanting "Brainless and Bread Boy, sittin' in a tree!"

Finnick looked over at her as she made her way to the lead microphone. "Where's Gale?" He mouthed.

She smirked but turned her attention to the microphone. "We've got a special set for everyone to close the show tonight. Gale has been called away so, if there are no objections, the three of us are going to sing some District 12 songs, new and old. Sound good?" While the crowd cheered their approval, she looked to Finnick. "Mind if I take vocals on this one? You can have the rest if you can handle it, Odair."

"Be my guest, Kitty Kat. You did help write it," he answered with a cheeky smile.

She turned to Johanna. "Anytime you're ready Mason. Start with ' _Here_ '?"

 _I like where we are, when we drive, in your car_  
I like where we are...here  
Cause our lips, can touch  
And our cheeks, can brush  
Our lips can touch here  
Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me  
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"  
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms  
I like where you sleep, when you sleep, next to me.  
I like where you sleep... here  
Our lips, can touch  
And our cheeks, can brush  
Our lips can touch here  
Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me  
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"  
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms  
Our lips, can touch  
Our lips, can touch...here  
You are the one the one that lies close to me  
Whispers "Hello I miss you, I miss you"  
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms  
Here in your arms.  
Here in your arms.

* * *

Katniss practically ran offstage at the end of the show, searching for Peeta. She heard some commotion behind her but ignored the clamoring, assuming it was just the crowd wanting another encore. After searching backstage and questioning everyone she could find, she resigned herself to retiring back to her dressing room. She was about to change into her more comfortable jeans when she noticed the picture of her and Peeta was missing from her mirror. Replaced was a message written in what looked like lipstick.

_Katniss – I want to know the real you. I want to start over from the beginning, from the day we met. I love you. - Peeta_

She looked down and, sure enough, there was a tube of lipstick Cinna brought her sitting on it's side on the vanity. Katniss stared at the message on the mirror. She understood what he was saying, they knew some things about each other but were forced into their relationship without really knowing each other. Even that first night, she learned that he grew up in Ohio, went to school in Chicago, and could bake, but that was it. How long had it taken to find out how terrible his childhood was? Or that he even had siblings? Or that he once worked at the same paper as Cato?

She knew what he meant but she had no idea what he meant. She thought back to that night, how angry she was that he was forced into her life. Right after Effie instructed her to start dating. Right after Gale left her for Leevy. She couldn't think straight remembering that night. Peeta annoyed her, she remembered that, because he was so damn stubborn about getting something to drink. She eventually gave in and invited him to her room, but thinking she could play his game just as well, she made him wait for her in the bar.

She slipped the lipstick tube into her pocket and skirted out of the room. She weaved her way through the backstage area to where her car dropped her off. She directed her driver to take her to where she hoped Peeta would be waiting for her. It was a long shot, but it seemed like something he would do, so she went with it.

She pushed into the bar and scanned the tables. A few of the couples looked up at her, recognizing her and pointing to the televisions that were still covering the concert. It looked like complete pandemonium when she glanced at the screen so she was glad she left when she did. Her heart dropped when she didn't see him anywhere in the room. She was so sure this is where he'd be, how could she have been wrong on this?

She turned to leave when his voice made her stop. "Come now, Miss Everdeen." He turned around on a bar stool and faced her. "You can't give up that easily."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song references:  
> "Songbird" performed by Fleetwood Mac, written by Christie McVie from the amaaaazing album "Rumors" which, if you've never listened to, you should. Seriously, one of the greatest albums of all time.
> 
> "Here (In Your Arms)" performed by HelloGoodbye, written by Forrest Kline.
> 
> This ending was completely inspired by " Music and Lyrics" which is incredibly cheesy but kinda cute.
> 
> One chapter to go. And now this story is all caught up on here. Yay.


	20. Epilogue

_The tribute concert did more than just bring Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark back together. Much more. It also served as President Snow's last stand. The acts weren't the only ones facing severe retribution for violating the stringent and confusing contracts they signed upon employment. It seems that a small group of rebellious workers had been planning a coup for some time and were just waiting for the perfect moment that would cause the most damage to Snow, both personally and professionally. The concert was just that moment._

_A particularly tech-savvy employee hacked into the live feed shown throughout the country and added one line of text that ultimately served as Snow's downfall._

_'President Snow and Snow Management each pledge to match the total dollar amount raised.'_

_It was simple but effective. The original plan, as concocted by Snow, was to funnel all the money donated into his own well-lined pocket. Head accountant and trusted confidant, Rebecca Paylor, was charged with setting up the phoney account. Unbeknownst to Snow, Paylor was one of the strongest voices in the rebellion and the mastermind of the idea._

_When President Snow appeared onstage after the concert to unveil the total donations, he did his best to show genuine shock at the generosity of the viewers at home, though secretly pleased at the thought of buying a new yacht or house or whatever it was he planned on using the money for. Paylor's unexpected appearance caught him off guard. But it was her public announcement of just how generous Snow and Snow Management were being, complete with a dramatic unveiling of the number on the screen behind them, that got him making very public threats against her and anyone else working with her._

_Disgraced and publicly humiliated, Coriolanus Snow stepped down from his position. Rebecca Paylor was easily elected in as new president and immediately dismissed all current contracts for employees. "You're debts, past and present, are hereby erased. New, fair contacts will be drawn up for any employee wishing to retain their position."_

_Joanna Mason surprised most people when she was first in line for her contact negotiation. Finnick Odair joined her, as did Gale Hawthorne, amongst other acts who showed their support for the new president. People everywhere waited with baited breath for any indication as to what Katniss Everdeen was going to do._

_Finnick's return to the silver screen was met with overwhelming support. After taking the year off to celebrate his new marriage to make-up artist, Annie Cresta-Odair, and welcome his newborn son, Dylan, Finnick's first role back already has critics and award show voters buzzing. "It's Finnick Odair as you've never seen him before," they proclaimed, calling his decision to play a horribly disfigured war veteran as 'brave' and citing his physical transformation 'pure genius.'_

_Joanna Mason has had continued success with her band, being herald as 'the girl group of our generation' by popular music magazine, 'Acoustically Speaking.' "They are a breath of fresh air, willing to go places with their music and lyrics often only attempted by similar male groups. They represent much of what today's women have been longing to express." The group is nominated for six Grammy's, two short of the record eight nominations 'District 12' received for their last album. Says Johanna Mason on the comparison, "that was 'District 12's third studio album and this is just our first. I'm confident our girls will not only match that record but will surpass it by our third attempt."_

_Gale Hawthorne has undoubtedly experience the greatest fall from grace of the quartet. While speaking with the media following the concert, Mr. Hawthorne was served with divorce papers from his wife, Leevy Hawthorne, citing infidelity as the cause of the dissolution. Along with the divorce papers, Mrs. Hawthorne presented a signed affidavit and positive DNA results from another woman claiming Gale was the father of her then three month old son._

_When asked how she came to know about the child, Leevy explained the two women met at the tribute concert. After a particularly awkward conversation about the infant, "it became painfully clear that he had gathered the boy and had been in a seemingly serious relationship with the mother," according to the divorce papers. As of last week, three additional women have come forward, admitting to having adulterous relationships with him. All four women also claim that manager Alma Coin paid them to remain silent._

"Not bad for your first real piece, Cato," Delly nodded, using her signature green pen to switch words around and make notes. "Even though the end still reeks of gossip."

"Old habits or whatever."

"It's going to need a lot more work to be ready for publication but I think you can get it there." She handed the story to him. "How does it feel to be back?"

He shrugged. After his meeting with Katniss, he arranged for some time off with Heavensbee. Cato spent six months traveling and refocusing his thoughts. Katniss' letter and request of his services, once again, was what brought him back to Delly's office. He wanted 'The Capitol' to publish the piece and knew the assistant editor was his first step. She was just as surprised as he was, but quickly confirmed with Peeta that Katniss did, indeed, want him to write a detailed piece detailing her journey since the band broke up a year and a half ago. It was her way to wipe the slate clean and let everyone know happened and why. She said it may also be way for him to reconcile his role in the ordeal.

"I have a final interview lined up with Katniss this afternoon so I'll have a rough copy ready for you tomorrow."

Delly shook her head. "I'm still surprised you spent so much time in that other department, Cato. You really are a talented writer."

He leaned across the desk and rested his hand on hers. "It's not the only talent I have." He winked and sent a kiss her way.

"And to think I almost missed this," she groaned, pulling her hand away. "Go do your interview."

"Oh, Cartwright, you know I like it when you boss me around like that." He ducked out of her office just as she threw a pen at him.

* * *

"We really need to stop meeting like this."

Katniss jumped when Cato whispered in her ear. "Holy shit," she exhaled holding her chest. The diamond she wore on her left hand caught the light as she attempted to slow her breathing.

He laughed and sat next to her. "Interesting choice, meeting in as hotel bar. Any particular reason you chose this place?"

_"Come on now, Miss Everdeen." He turned around on a bar stool and faced her. "You can't give up that easily"_

_She wanted to smile at him, matching the one on his face. Instead she dropped the lipstick tube on the bar in front of him. "Cinna will not be pleased to find out you destroyed his product."_

_Peeta rolled the tube back and forth and chucked. "Somehow I think he'll forgive me. Kind of like how I'll forgive you for taking credit for that song," he added with a wink. He motioned for her to sit next to him and held out his hand. "I'm Peeta Mellark."_

_She rolled her eyes but shook his hand. "Katniss Everdeen."_

_"Katniss. That's a bit unusual, how did your parents come up with that one?"_

_"It's a plant. According to the story my dad used to tell me, he thought they were pretty and have them to my mom on their first date. She didn't have the heart to tell him they were usually used as food." She laughed. "Although I don't think someone named 'Peeta' can talk about unusual names."_

_He put his hands up in concession. "True, but 'Peeta' isn't technically my full name. It's Peter, but my dad wanted to carry the tradition of his sons having food names. So, Graham, Charles, and Peter became Graham, Chip, and Peeta. Now the only person who calls me by my full name is my best friend and only when I'm in trouble. So, Katniss Everdeen, can I buy you a drink? Unless you're here looking for someone else."_

_She considered this and smiled. "No, I think I've found the person I'm looking for. So, Peeta Mellark, what do you do?"_

_They sat at the bar in a comfortable conversation with one another until the bartender eventually kicked them out around 3am. Some things they learned were new._

_"Cats hate me," Katniss confessed, "every single one, for reasons I can't explain."_

_Others were things they always were curious about but didn't ask._

_"When is your birthday, by the way?" she asked._

_"It's in April. But birthdays were never a big deal in my family so I don't celebrate now," he answered, keeping his eyes on her, rather than downcast like they usually were whenever his family came up._

_And occasionally, they would bring up a topic they already knew._

_She cocked her eyebrow."Orange?"_

_Peeta laughed loudly, reminding her that was the exact way she responded the first time._

_When it came time for them to leave, both were reluctant to end the conversation. Nervously, Katniss asked if he wanted to come have coffee at her apartment. "Actual coffee," she promised._

_They woke up the next morning cuddled against each other on her couch. They both blushed slightly when they realized her hand had crept under his shirt and was resting on his chest. He was no better, his was wrapped around her waist with his fingers hooked on the loops of her sorts. "So," he said, stretching his body from the awkward sleeping position._

_"So..."_

_"Breakfast?"_

* * *

"Where is Lover Boy anyway?" Cato asked.

"He's helping his brothers pack up all their stuff. They fly back to Ohio later tonight."

Cato nodded. "Delly said something about them being in town again."

"They left the kids at home this time so the boys could have some bonding time."

About three months after the concert Katniss nervously asked Peeta if he wanted to go to Amherst to visit her sister and mother. When he watched the two sisters interact with one another so effortlessly, even after so much time apart, his chest tightened from the guilt and sadness of not seeing his own family. What he didn't know that about 6 weeks later, Katniss surprised him by flying Graham, Chip, their wives and kids, and Peeta's dad to L.A. for a week. She made a point to tell him that his mother was not invited on the trip.

She never saw a smile quite so wide on his face as when his oldest niece yelled his name from across the airport and sprinted into his arms, nearly knocking him over.

_"I don't know how to thank you for bringing them to me," he told her that night as they laid in bed, pleasantly exhausted from spending the day with his family._

_"You'll just have to think of a way to make it up to me," she joked, throwing him a devilish smile._

_"I better get started right away, then." He dipped his head between her thighs, bringing her to shuddering pleasure with his tongue. It was the first of many times he thanked her and every time, after she came back down, he'd whisper "I love you," and she would kiss him and tell him "I love you, too." And they never questioned one another._

"So what comes next for Katniss Everdeen?" Cato asked as they completed their interview.

"Well, uh, I start my new job soon, so I feel like my life is going to be a lot calmer now."

"Are you ready to impart wisdom on the next generation of musicians?"

Katniss scoffed. "I'm pretty sure those kids are already light years ahead of me. But with Haymitch running the show, it'll be an experience, without a doubt."

Haymitch contemplated renewing his contact but once Effie, minus her outlandish get-ups and simple gold wedding band, expressed interest in her own fresh start, he decided his skills could be put to better use someplace else. Katniss didn't expect that 'someplace else' would be with students at the music academy in Anaheim but he was hired right away and when the president of that campus announced his retirement, he offered the job to Haymitch, who in turn offered his previous job to Katniss.

"It's kind of anticlimactic, isn't it? The end of your story. Daughter of a legend becomes a legend in her own right only to end up as a teacher."

"I suppose you could view it that way," she answered, walking him out into the sunny California afternoon. "I'm looking forward to the privacy."

Cato slipped his sunglasses on. "So this is out, then? The Girl on Fire is no more?"

She smirked. "Oh I wouldn't say that. The best thing about fire is that it only takes a spark to be reignited."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand that's all she wrote. I can't believe it's the end already. Thank you to everyone who has read this story. Like I said on the onset, this is the first fanfic I've ever put online for people to read so I was pretty anxious with each chapter. The response I got from you guys was pretty awesome, from the first reviewers, to everyone who stumbled upon this at the end, and all of you in between.  
> Onto the next great adventure. Or... something.


	21. Outtake for Alece

"Honey, I'm home!" Katniss called, kicking off her shoes at the door. Even though he still wrote for the newspaper and personal obituaries were in high demand now that he was also a well known songwriter, he still managed to beat her home from work every day. "Where are you?"

She heard a muffled answer from the bedroom, so she dropped her bag by her abandoned shoes and made her way through the apartment to their room. She had to stifle a laugh when she walked in and was welcomed by a view of his ass hanging out of the closet he was rummaging through. She cocked her head to the side and welcomed the view. She loved that ass. And the man attached to it. Her husband. Her Peeta.

"Peeta? What are you doing in there?"

"I'm trying to...find...something."

She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, next to her overstuffed suitcase. "You made sure everything was packed last night, remember?" She certainly remembered. Ever since Peeta got the invitation to his high school reunion, any mention of the upcoming celebration made him sour and owly and snappish. Trying to get any advice as to what to pack for a reunion that included dinner, drinks, and dancing (or as Peeta muttered "a second chance prom") was hard enough. Throw in his father's invite to stay with them for a few days and Katniss was at a complete loss. Small town Ohio was not a culture Katniss was familiar or comfortable with, especially since all eyes would be on them, according to Delly.

Peeta didn't even want to go to his reunion in the first place, which was just as well with her. Between his brothers, his father, and his best friend, someone had guilted him into attending. She remembered Delly's pleas, about how they finally will get to show off how amazing their lives are now that they've broken free and flown off to bigger and better places. Why that would have worked on him, she didn't know since Peeta was easily the most humble man she'd ever met. Apparently even he had a vain side.

"Peeta?" she called when he didn't answer.  _Hmph_. She was hoping to get at least one round of sex in before they left, since staying with the in-laws meant they'd get very limited "together time" and lately she found herself wanting to jump his bones more often than before. He never complained before, so she really thought he'd go for the idea of spending their last night in California in bed together. "Peeta."

He looked over his shoulder at her and she cocked an eyebrow, trying to be as sexy as possible. "Hold on a second, Katniss."

She groaned and flopped back onto the bed. This was going to be a very long trip.

* * *

"Fuck, Katniss."

She loved when he would whimper that perfect, dirty, four-letter word. Partially because he rarely did. And because when he did, it was because he was buried deep inside her, making her feel just as good as she was making him feel. She rotated her hips, pressing her pelvis against his thumb, increasing the pressure against her clit. She let out a loud moan and threw her head back, arching her back and pushing her breasts closer to his face. He took the hint and latched his mouth around one of her puckered nipples, using his teeth to nip gently.

Their labored breathing filled the room, each coming closer and closer to the brink. Through their time together, they learned the signs when it came to sex. He learned that her breathing increased in pitch the closer she came to climax and she paid attention to the way his abdominal muscles would start to flex.

When she started crying out with noises that only dogs could hear, he let himself go, coming with a series of grunts, staying deep inside her until her own muscles clamped and spasmed around him. She let out a small breath and let her sweaty forehead rest against his, eyes closed, just sharing the space.

"You're going to be cranky in the morning," he whispered.

She began to laugh, quietly at first, until her whole body shook. He tried to discourage her from booking the absolute earliest flight into Cincinnati as possible, given how anti-mornings she was, but she didn't like flying at night and flying in the morning was one less night at the Mellark house. "Ah but you'll let me sleep on the plane, right?"

He chuckled. "Sweetheart, with the time changes, it won't end up being that long of a flight. But of course I'll let you sleep on the flight." He smiled and pressed his lips to hers. "I'll even make you coffee in the morning."

Katniss let out a content sigh. "You're so good to me."

"And buy you coffee at the airport," he continued, pressing a kiss to her jawline. "And when we land." Another kiss, this time moving down to her collarbone.

She moaned and thrust her hips against his, feeling him stir back to life. He knew her weak spots: a sensitive neckline and a soft spot for freshly brewed coffee, full of cream and sugar to soften the bitter taste.

"And then," he kissed the other side of her neck, suckling softly on the skin. "When we get to my parent's house, I'll even make you something from one of their fancy schmancy machines that they never use anymore. Hoity-toity syrups and all."

Katniss groaned loudly. "Oh just fuck me already, Peeta."

"Don't mind if I do," he answered with a smile and flipped her onto her back. She gave a small shriek, which dissolved into incomprehensible utterances when his mouth traveled further and further south, dipping his head between her legs.

"I love L.A.," she sighed, grabbing fistfuls of his curls.

* * *

The drive from the Cincinnati airport to Peeta's tiny hometown was gruesome. Sure as Peeta predicted, Katniss had been a grouchy mess the entire morning. Even with all the coffee she could ingest, she was unprepared for the flock of paparazzi awaiting them at LAX at 4:15 in the morning.

_"Don't they have some socialite stumbling out of bars they could be bothering?" She mumbled to Peeta, when the flashes blinded her. "Anything more interesting than our trip to Ohio?"_

_"Just smile and wave, Katniss," he reminded her, his hand pressing against the small of her back. "We won't have to deal much with this where we're going. Delly made sure to put a block against anyone knowing our exact plans."_

_"How did she manage to do that?" Katniss asked, forcing a bright smile whenever anyone shouted her name._

_Peeta waved and did the same, since he was half of the rarely-seen duo, it seemed the press loved him just as much as her. "You'd be surprised at the strings she's able to pull. She can't always do much about these people, but apparently she can do something in Ohio. They'll welcome her back with open arms."_

_She turned to him, frowning at the shift in his demeanor. It was slight and it was a change she hadn't heard in quite some time. But it was obvious to her. "Peeta. You're a huge success, too. You know that right? Hell, you're going to be a bigger deal at this reunion than anyone else." She squeezed his free hand._

_"Except you," he countered, faking a smile before kissing her nose. "You're the one everyone's coming to see."_

_Katniss rolled her eyes and didn't fight the blush that covered her cheeks. She still hated PDA,but something about how earnest Peeta was in giving in, how he did it so easily and without pretense, made her soften her stance on it. "Please. I'd be nowhere without you. Don't make me repeat my wedding vows to you, mister. I remember how you cr-"_

_He stopped her in an instant by kissing her deeply, which elicited a loud cheer from the reporters, and the people around who wanted to catch a glimpse of the famous singer and her songwriting husband. She smirked when he released her but didn't disagree. "Come on, Girl on Fire," he whispered. "Let's go have a seat, yeah?"_

_Knowing Delly would be waiting for the, they turned and made their way to their terminal, always aware of the presence of the flashing lights and hounding calls but choosing to ignore everything except the feel of their intertwined fingers._

"Just admit that you're lost and we'll be fine," Katniss snapped, taking a long drink of her extra large, extra shot, frappuccino monstrosity.

Peeta gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. "I'm not lost, okay? It's just...been awhile since I've been this way."

"GPS says you should have taken a left a few miles back," Delly piped up. The look Peeta sent her through the rearview mirror of their rental car quickly had her shutting up and slinking in her seat. "I'm just saying," she mumbled. The familiar sound of Candy Crush Saga filled the car, which did nothing more than fry Peeta's already frazzled nerves.

"Delly!" He shouted. "Seriously? You're playing a game when I'm trying to figure out where I'm going? How is that helpful?"

Delly promptly kicked the back of his seat.

"Peeta, she tried to help you and you didn't want any of it. Let her play her game," Katniss answered.

He swallowed hard and set his eyes squarely on the road. He hated this drive. When he was a kid, his mother used to take him and his brothers to the shopping malls in Cincinnati and the rides home were always filled with an awkward, tense silence. Not to mention this drive was taking him right back to the place he'd always hated and never wanted to go back to. Sure, things were better with his family - his brothers were in constant contact with him and he got to know his sisters-in-law and nieces better than he ever thought he would. Even his father would call him once a week, "just to catch up," which always made him happier than anything else.

Then there was his mother. His mother, who should have been happy she had a successful son who married a famous musician because he was bringing something good to the Mellark name, still found fault with him. She read Cato's "tribute piece" after it was picked up by  _Rolling Stone_  and never forgave Katniss. She still saw her son as a fool for trusting Katniss in the first place, let alone a second time. At their wedding, she sat, stone-faced, in the front pew and refused to take part in the wedding pictures. It broke Peeta's heart that day, to the point where he almost called the entire thing off, suggesting that he and Katniss just run off to Vegas to get married by Elvis because at least there, someone would be happy for them. Katniss wouldn't allow it, despite preferring the intimacy of that idea. An actual wedding was Peeta's dream. And no mother was going to ruin it for him. Not if she had anything to say about it.

Actually, it was a combination of Primrose, Graham, Chip, and Peeta's father that finally told Peeta's mother off. She retired to the hotel as soon as the ceremony had ending, feigning a headache. The newly married Mellarks didn't see her again until they dropped the family off at the airport, where she didn't even bother saying goodbye.

"Oh. My. God. Peeta!" Delly shrieked from the backseat. "Look! It's a Cracker Barrel! Do you remember when we drove up to Cincinnati before prom and stopped at that Cracker Barrel?"

Katniss turned in her seat, since she had never heard this story before. "What is so special about that Cracker Barrel?"

Delly covered her mouth and let out a snort. "You didn't tell her? Peeta! How could you not tell her? That was a monumental occasion." She turned to Katniss and began telling her the story about how Peeta and Delly came up to Cincinnati the weekend before prom and how at that particular restaurant, some rough and tumble guy tried to smack Delly's ass when she passed by. Peeta got so upset he threw a right hook and knocked the guy out cold. "The servers, who were tired of the bastard anyway, told Peeta and me to get out of there as quickly as possible and they'd all pretend they didn't see what happened."

Peeta shrugged. "Not like that guy was gonna press charges anyway."

"Not after getting his clock cleaned by a 17 year old," Delly giggled. "Anyway. We've never been back there, but I was always afraid he would figure out where we were from and come chasing after us."

"Delly's been afraid of motorcycles ever since."

"Not too afraid of motorcycles, I hope," Katniss added with a smirk.

"Wait." Delly leaned forward so her head popped right in between Peeta and Katniss. "What does that mean?" She looked between them with such a look of concern on her face that it made the pair start laughing hysterically. "You guys," she whined.

Katniss raised her eyebrows but refused to say anything more. Ever since the invites went out, Delly had complained that she didn't have anyone to go to the reunion with. Katniss didn't understand why this was such a big deal; Delly was a hotshot editor for one of the biggest newspapers in L.A. Who cared that she wasn't married yet? She was only 28 for crying out loud. Luckily, Peeta explained that in small towns in the Midwest, girls got married early, or were expected to, and those who went to their 10 year reunion without a date were sad and pathetic, no matter what they had done with their lives. Since meeting Peeta, Katniss had developed a sense of affection for his best friend and didn't want her to be upset, so she arranged to have one of her younger friends- a bodyguard named Darius- meet up with them to wine and dine Delly. No matter what Peeta said, it was not at all prostitution, since she wasn't  _paying_  Darius to go out with Delly. It was a friend introducing two people. And if they happened to have sex then so be it.

Peeta glanced over and Katniss, who was trying to hide her grin from the now almost frantic Delly, and his mood eased. He could survive this trip with them in tow. Delly had always been his support system and he was glad they stayed as close as they had. Katniss, on the other hand, was the surprise that made him realize what his life was worth and what he actually deserved. The trio made as many stops as possible between Cincinnati and home, since none of them were really all that excited to go. By the time they dropped Delly off at the hotel, because she absolutely refused to stay in her childhood, they only had a couple hours before they were due to arrive at the reunion.

When they pulled into the neighborhood he grew up in, the knot in his stomach tightened. It was one thing to drive into their town, but now he was only a few houses away from his own personal hell. Given that Peeta rarely talked about his home life, Katniss didn't know what she was expecting of the Mellark residence, but when he stopped in front of a small blue house she knew that wasn't it. It looked so peaceful and happy and...normal. There was even a white picket fence that ran around the property, with a flower garden and a well-manicured lawn. "This is it?"

"Expecting more?"

Katniss shrugged. "I don't know. It looks so..."

"Nice?" Peeta finished, closing his eyes and resting his head against his seat. "It's unassuming, I think that's part of why she loved it so much. No one ever suspected what happened inside. All the houses are like that."

Katniss looked around at the neighborhood houses. Sure enough, each looked like they fell right from the pages of a 1950's  _Better Homes and Gardens_.

"Delly's house is two down from mine. Looks just like ours on the outside, but inside her dad drank himself into a stupor and abused her and her little brother. Alcoholism, debilitating debt, affairs, all hiding behind the perfect facade." Peeta took a deep breath and shrugged. "It's so ridiculous because we all know the truth, so it's not really that good of a disguise."

She reached over and pried one of his hands from the steering wheel, lacing her fingers between his. "Hey, we don't have to stay here. We can go back to the hotel, get a room, and just tell your dad something else came up."

He let out a long, slow breath. "No. No, Katniss, I can't. I've been running from this all my life."

"At some point, you have to stop running and turn around and face whoever causes you pain."

Peeta chuckled. "The hard part is finding the courage to do it." He gave her hand a squeeze. "Wise words."

"A very brave and wonderful man told me those same words when I most needed to hear them. Figured it was only fair to return the favor."

He ran his finger over her wedding band. He was always afraid of facing his mother alone, but he  _wasn't_  alone. They promised to stand by one another through the good times and the bad, and this definitely would qualify as "bad". "We should see if my mom will crochet that on a pillow for us. You know, since she didn't give us a wedding present," he joked.

"Your mom crochets?"

"No."

Katniss snorted and leaned over to capture his lips in a brief kiss. "Ready?"

When she tried to pull away, he held her face steady and kissed her again. "Ready."

They were lucky, as Peeta's mother was doing final preparations for the reunion, so she wasn't home. Instead, they were greeted by the booming voice and bone-crushing hug of Mr. Mellark, looking only slightly worse for the wear since the last time Katniss saw him. His receding hairline only obvious because he was in need of a haircut, a few extra wrinkles around his eyes, a couple extra pounds on his stocky frame, but still the same jovial man she came to know and accept in their family. Katniss could never really forgive him for allowing his wife to beat their children, but he made Peeta happy and so she kept her mouth shut.

"Is your old bedroom okay, Peet?" His father asked. "It...it's changed a bit since you left but..."

Peeta nodded, knowing what that meant. His mother took down everything that reminded her of his presence when he left for college, including changing his boyhood room into a cold and uninviting guest room. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if she didn't cover up his face in the family portraits in the hall with skull and crossbone stickers. Muscle memory took over as he led Katniss through the house to the room they'd be staying in. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the destruction and pain he was accustomed to feeling in these four walls.

Katniss quietly shut the door behind them when they entered Peeta's old room. She wanted to reach out to him, to let him know that she was there if he wanted to say anything, but his body language told her that he needed a few minutes to survey the room himself. Everything that could possibly have identified the room as his was gone, replaced with superficial decorations and furniture.

Peeta sighed and tossed his suitcase onto the bed and ran his hand through his curls. It was only then that she went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing herself as close against his back and she could. She kissed the exposed skin at his neck and rested her forehead against that spot. "Peeta, you know if you want to talk about -"

"I don't," he cut her off. "I...I can't let her win and let this affect me. Besides," he turned around to face his wife, "we're not here for her."

"Nope," Katniss answered, kissing him gently. "We're here for you." She smiled and moved toward the bed. Then, as if she were a teenager again, she jumped onto it so she was sitting on the edge, and bounced a few times. "Nice bed."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "That would be the first thing you noticed about this room. Oh!" He dropped to his hands and knees and crawled under the frame near the headboard.

"Peeta!" She giggled. "What are you doing?"

"Checking for some-Aha!" He crawled back out with a triumphant smile. "And here my mother thought she got rid of everything of mine. Little does she know that my brothers and I had a tradition of carving our initials into the baseboard, near the leg, on our last night in the house."

Katniss' jaw dropped. "Peeta Mellark. You mean to tell me you defaced someone else's property?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "I know. I'm a real rebel. Come here, come see." He held out his hand and she followed suit, crawling under the bed beside him. "Here." He brought her hand to the baseboard and had her trace the carved "P.M." with her finger.

She smiled at his small victory. His mother, undoubtedly, never would think to check the bottom of the baseboard for anything he may have left. Who would? It's an innocuous place to carve anything, especially two small letters. "Well look at you. Badass extraordinaire."

They crawled back out and Peeta collapsed on the bed. Katniss crawled toward him, laying her head on his chest. "Well, we have a couple hours before we have to meet Darius and pick up Delly. What would you like to do, Mrs. Mellark?"

Katniss bit her lower lip and traced the defined muscles of her husband's chest through his shirt. "Well. Your mom's not home. And your dad is probably preoccupied with something..."

He smiled down and her, capturing her hand in his. "Why Katniss," he mocked. "Do you mean to suggest we defile my parents' guest bed? Why we've only just arrived."

She smirked. "And think of all the defiling we can do later."

Peeta laughed and rolled over so he hovered over her body. "Katniss, I know I was an initial-carving rebel once. But this is my parents' house. There's just something...icky...about fooling around in their house when you're an adult."

"Please, like you never got any when you were a kid."

Peeta shook his head. "Never. I was too afraid  _she'd_  find out."

Katniss was surprised. She had seen a few pictures of Peeta from when he was in high school and he was a looker, even then. "So you have a...virgin...bed? Oh, Peeta! We can't let just anyone pop this baby's cherry."

He dipped his head down and captured her lips in a slow, languid kiss. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him flush against her. "Peeta," she whispered. "Please. It could be fun."

He kissed her again but pulled away. "Katniss, we can't."

She shifted her lips to the sensitive skin behind his ear. One of the places she knew would make it hard for him to resist her. "Please, Peeta?" She begged, breathlessly, in his ear.

Peeta groaned and ground his hips against hers, making his desire for what she was asking for apparent. "Katniss."

She sucked a little harder on the skin. "Come on," she urged, running her hands down the front of him and beginning to unbutton his jeans.

She had just made it to the zipper when he caught her and pulled away. "No, Katniss. I'm really not in the mood to piss off my mother just now, okay?"

Katniss groaned and flopped her head back onto the bed as Peeta unzipped his suitcase and began rummaging through it.

"I'm going to go take a shower," he said, his voice flat and his eyes dull.

As he left the room, she let out a long breath. She hadn't meant to upset him; she thought he was just playing the act of the boy who didn't want to get caught. "Fuck." She jumped off the bed and dug through her own suitcase for her shower supplies. One way or another she'd make it up to him. And no one would be bothering them in the shower.

* * *

One blow job later, which made their shower take twenty minutes longer than usual, and Peeta was finally relaxed. Relaxed and exhausted from the trip he fell asleep almost as soon as he laid down on the bed for a much needed nap. Katniss envied him for a moment, wishing she could curl up against his body and sleep away this reunion nonsense completely. She still needed to dry and style her hair, plus her makeup, and even with the how-to guides Cinna sent, she knew it would take too long to allow for a nap herself. But as she sat next to him, lightly running her hands through his still damp curls, watching his chest rise and fall slowly and steadily, she realized just how much more he needed this.

The reunion, their living situation, everything, would be stressful for her because she had grown so accustomed to being out of the spotlight and was not looking forward to being back in it. But Peeta's stress was something she couldn't understand. Maybe similar to when she had to work with Gale again after that breakup, or listen to the boys sing the words Peeta wrote that were directed toward her. But could those really compare to staying in the home where he suffered such abuse? Or going back to see the people who knew what he was going through and yet did nothing about it? He ran away from this life and never thought of looking back. She ran away from her family and missed them every single day. She left to protect them, he left to protect himself.

Katniss loved watching Peeta sleep. Everything in his face and body relaxed and he was so tranquil in almost a childlike way. She wondered if he ever was relaxed as a child, or if every moment was full of tense anticipation of the next blow from his mother. It made her hurt for him all over again, like it did every time she thought about how his childhood was ripped away. She sighed, knowing she needed to start getting ready if they weren't going to be ridiculously late, regretting having to leave his side. She leaned down and kissed his temple. "I wish there was something I could do to make this up to you. To give you back what you lost, like you gave me," she whispered against his skin.

By the time he woke up, she had her hair curled and pinned in the most uncomfortable way and was trying to figure out what Cinna meant in his instructions about a "smokey eye."

"Hey," Peeta croaked, rubbing his eyes. "How long was I out?"

"About an hour and a half or so." She flipped through the instructions Cinna sent and groaned. "Fuck!"

He swung his legs out and padded over to her, kissing her cheek. "You did your hair?"

She blushed and nodded. "I wanted to look nice. But I can't get my makeup right so it's all for nothing. I'm going to look like a two-cent whore and embarrass you and embarrass myself and -"

"Shhh," he shushed her, kneeling down to her level and taking her face between his hands. "You look beautiful, Katniss. Just do what you normally do with your makeup. You're not 'Katniss Everdeen, rockstar' anymore, remember? You don't have to impress anyone except yourself."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so cheesy. Get dressed." She laughed and swatted his ass when he rose. He kissed the crown of her head before heading over to his suitcase to dig out his dress pants and shirt. "And, you're definitely worth more than two cents. You're at least $100."

"I hate you so hard." He walked over and kissed her soundly on the lips.

"No you don't."

* * *

"Did you call Darius to make sure he was ready?" Peeta asked as he held the passenger side door open for Katniss.

She easily slid in, tucking her dark green sundress behind her. "I sent him a text when we got in. Guess where he's staying?"

He looked over at her conspiratory smirk. "I'm not surprised, it's the only hotel anywhere near town."

Katniss shrugged, "True. But at least now neither will have far to go when they hit it off tonight." She gave Peeta a dramatic wink and a laugh. According to Peeta, Delly wasn't a girl who slept around, but she was starting to loosen up a little more. Katniss didn't exactly know what his best friend's story was and the girl was surprisingly quiet about the details herself. But Darius was one of the best people Katniss knew. And if anyone could get Delly to 'loosen up' it was the charming ginger. He was a security guard for District 12 when they first started, but when they broke up, he was reassigned to another act. Luckily, the two kept in touch and he was still single and more than willing to fly to Ohio. Peeta was a little suspicious at how quickly Darius agreed to the idea - faster than any of them had - until Katniss confessed that she sent him pictures of Delly and had been telling him all about her. Turns out he was legitimately interested in meeting her, even if meant being her last-minute date to her own reunion. Talk about a story they could tell the grandkids if it worked out.

"So he'll be ready to go?"

"Peeta, it's adorable. He keeps asking if he should go to her room first and walk her down to the car." Katniss said, scrolling through her text messages. "I told him no, that we'd all meet in the lobby, but still."

Peeta looked over at his wife and smiled. She really had come so far from the withdrawn and sullen girl he meet that night in L.A. She was still feisty as hell and would push him to his absolute limits, but it was that fire that made her who she was and he wouldn't want her any other way. The knot in his stomach returned as they drove out to the hotel, just a few miles outside of town. "Alright, let's pick them up."

Delly was already in the lobby when they arrived. She was trying to appear confident but her constant foot tapping and shifting eyes around her indicated that she was anything but. Peeta engulfed her in a tight hug, trying to calm her nerves. "Well aren't you a vision?"

Delly rolled her eyes and played with the edge of her skirt. "Katniss, thank you for recommending Cinna."

"It's a beautiful dress, Delly," Katniss agreed, taking in the soft pink, body hugging dress she wore. Delly had come a long way from the awkward girl she was in high school, the girl who started puberty far too early and tried too hard to cover it up. She hoped that wearing this dress would show everyone just how different she had become after leaving. Her hair, still dyed blond, was swept up in a loose bun, enough to keep it off her neck but not enough to hide all her natural curls. "Darius will love it."

"Darius. That's your friend, right?" Delly asked, looking around. "Is he here?"

Katniss bit her bottom lip and searched for him, herself. Sure enough, there he was, leaning against the bar, in ass-hugging dress pants and a crisp white button down. "Yeah, over there." She nodded toward him and watched as Delly caught sight of him, smiling as a bright flush washed over her face. "Darius!" she called, catching his attention.

Darius downed the rest of his beer, slid a $5 bill across the bar, and sauntered over to Katniss, embracing her and spinning her around in a circle. "Katniss Everdeen! As I live and breathe, you are just as hideous as the first day I met you."

Katniss give his arm a light slap and glared at him. "Rude, much? And it's Katniss Mellark, thank you very much."

"Oh yeah. I heard you found someone to tame the beast." He smiled and held his hand out to Peeta. "Darius."

"Peeta." Peeta used his free hand to push Delly forward slightly. "And this is Delly."

"Of course it is. I recognized you as soon as you came down to the lobby," Darius greeted her with a wink. "Katniss here has told me all about you. I'm so glad to finally meet you."

Delly let out an awkward snort laugh before turning an even deeper shade of red. "Oh my God," she breathed. "I can't believe I just snorted in front of you."

Darius let out a laugh and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "If that's the strangest noise you make, we have a bit of a problem," he whispered suggestively.

"Darius!" Katniss hissed, but it didn't seem to phase him. For the entire ride Darius would mutter something to Delly that made her squeak and blush. Whenever Katniss would catch his eye in the mirror, he just shrugged and smirked at her.  _Lord this boy is going to be trouble_ , she thought.

* * *

The social hour passed quickly enough, something all four seemed to be thankful for. Peeta kept his arm tightly wrapped around Katniss' waist and she smiled brightly at all his former classmates who were "such big fans" and were "so excited for Peeta" when they heard about him being a songwriter.

"Did any of those people know you liked to write back then?" Katniss asked when the four finally found their assigned table. Delly had snuck a peek at the seating arrangements and switched some name places so they were at the same table.

"No," Delly answered. "They didn't know anything about him except that he was one of the best wrestlers in the state."

"Really?" Darius asked, taking a sip of his water. "Wrestling?"

Peeta nodded. "I was an athlete here because it was the only thing that got attention. And Delly was a cheerleader."

"I would have been head cheerleader if it wasn't for that bitch Bonnie." Delly snorted into her water. "What?" She asked as Peeta glared at her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you dated her. She was still a bitch. She sabotaged my one chance to prove my leadership skills."

"You were a cheerleader, huh?" Darius asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Darius!" Katniss snapped. "Really? We're about to eat." Servers were coming around to tables at that moment, setting plates of food in front of each guest.

Darius looked over at Delly and gave her a knowing wink. "Damn Katniss, when did you become such a prude?"

She stuck her tongue out at him and kicked him under the table.

"Be good, you two," Peeta joked, cutting into his chicken. "Don't make me take you out into the hall before the 'Where Are They Now' segment."

Turns out, he wasn't joking about the 'Where Are They Now' part of the reunion dinner. Led by the class president, the guests were shown a slideshow of each student's senior picture and a more recent picture. Many of the pictures looked fairly similar but a few showed dramatic changes. There was the classically beautiful blonde boy who was now obese and covered in acne. Delly was probably the most surprising change, at least for those who didn't get a chance to mingle during the social hour. Gone was the mousy, brunette, awkward girl, replaced by a woman who could easily be cast as the newest 'Bond babe.' When her picture came up, all eyes turned to their table to check her out in the flesh. Of course, it didn't help that Peeta was next and his 'Now' picture was actually one from their wedding, so everyone wanted to see that happy couple as well. As well as pictures. Pictures they'd undoubtedly brag about for as long as possible. And potentially sell to any interested buyer.  _Exclusive pictures of Katniss Everdeen_  (because the rag mags never referred to her by her married name).

"This is total hell, Katniss," Delly mumbled through her forced smile. "How did you put up with it for so long?"

"Lots of alcohol," Katniss joked, her own false smile plastered on her face.

Peeta leaned into the middle of the table. "Good thing there's a fully stocked bar we can hit up as soon as this shit is done."

And hit the bar, they did. Once dinner and dessert was finished, the staff cleared the tables and the dining area was quickly transformed to a dance floor - DJ, disco ball, and photographer included - for the couples who wanted to really recreate their prom night.

"Oh, Peeta!" Delly giggled, a few shots in. "It's like prom all over again!" Katniss shot Peeta a confused look which Peeta did his best to ignore. "Katniss, what was your prom like?"

"I, uh, I didn't go to prom," Katniss answered, sipping her "designated driver" drink of plain Coke. Because taxis in this town were non-existent, when the idea was first presented about who would be driving them home it begrudgingly fell to Katniss' shoulders. Darius wouldn't be able to drive them to the Mellark house and back to the hotel, and it wasn't fair to not allow Peeta and Delly the opportunity. "I was at the music academy at that point."

"Well that is just not acceptable!" Delly proclaimed, ordering another round of shots. "I say we all do a shot and then get our asses out on the dance floor." She turned to Darius. "What do you say, hot stuff?"

Darius slammed his drink, then his shot, and grabbed her hand. "Show me your...moves."

Delly shrieked and handed her empty shot glass to Katniss as Darius escorted her out to the dance floor. He was able to keep her upright in her heels despite the alcohol pulsing through her, and through his own abilities, made them look like quite the pair.

"Well, what do you think?" Peeta asked, pulling Katniss' attention from the dance floor.

"About what?"

Peeta smirked and took his shot. "Katniss Mellark. Would you like to dance with me?"

"Really? Peeta, you're a terrible dancer." he took another long drink of her Coke. It was a low blow, she knew that, but in reality, she was quite content to just stay here by the bar, away from the dance floor. Here, she could blend in well enough and wasn't really doing anything exciting to warrant being photographed. No tabloid would buy pictures of 'Katniss Everdeen' standing by the wall with her husband. Not like they would of 'Katniss Everdeen' dancing.

He shook his head and leaned in. "You can't be so afraid to have fun with me anymore, Katniss." He set his glass on bar. "I'm going out there. Good dancer or not. Feel free to join me when you get over this."

_Of course he knew the real reason_ , she thought. It seemed her husband was more in touch with her than she was most days. He saw the flashing lights from the cameras just as clearly as she had, and although he hadn't experienced them as long as her, he knew their effect.

She looked out at the trio, Delly wrapped around Darius, laughing loudly at Peeta. "Fuck it. It's prom." She drained her soda and marched out onto the floor, joining the group.

"What's this?" Darius shouted over the music. "The Katniss I knew doesn't dance in public."

"That Katniss is dead, Darius!" She turned to Peeta, planting a very wet kiss on his lips. "This Katniss dances with her husband and his friends."

The song changed to a slow one and a collective cheer rose from most of the crowd. Delly and Peeta groaned. "Of course they would play this song," Peeta complained.

"Come on, Peet, it's  _our_  song." She turned to Darius. "Peeta was my date to senior prom and this was our 'prom song,'" she explained. "Dance with me?" She asked Peeta.

He rolled his eyes but looked to Katniss, who nodded her assent. "As long as I get a spin with Darius."

Without waiting for approval, Delly grabbed Peeta's hand and Darius smoothly twirled Katniss for a dance. As they danced, they both kept their eyes on their dates, neither noticing the completely smitten smiles they wore. Peeta and Delly were in their own world, perhaps reliving their better memories or forgetting their worst. Watching them, Katniss couldn't help but see Peeta in a suit, dancing with his own little girl. Not one with blonde hair like Delly's, but dark, like her own. Maybe with her father's blazing blue eyes. In a wedding dress.

The thought was so jarring Katniss stopped moving altogether. "Woah! You okay?" Darius asked, holding her arms steady. "Katniss?"

She shook her head and looked into Darius' bright green eyes. Then back at Peeta and Delly. Yes, that was Delly he was dancing with. Blonde hair. Adult. Delly. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just a little off. Come on, one more spin?"

Peeta and Delly cut in as the song came to an end. "We're going to do a few more shots," he announced, very drunkenly. "Delly and I accidentally ran into Bonnie and her husband."

"And she's still a bitch!" Delly added. "Although she's an unhappy bitch with like four kids and a husband who doesn't love her."

"Jesus, Delly," Peeta spat. "You can't say that stuff in public."

"Yes," Katniss called after them as they stumbled toward the bar. "Get her more alcohol. That seems like a good idea." She turned to Darius, who was watching the pair walk. She slapped his arm. "Hey! If she is that drunk, you don't get to sleep with you, got me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Calm your tits, Everdeen. I like her but I'm not an idiot. Besides, she'll be sober in the morning."

"Darius!" Katniss whined. She felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around her and kiss her neck. "Honey, Darius is being gross."

"Well then let's get away from him," Peeta whispered, spinning her around. "Now they're playing our song."

Katniss perked her ears up as the familiar guitar licks blared from the speakers. She smiled and let him pull her close to his body. "Do you remember the first time we danced to this song?" She asked.

"Our first date, up on the roof."

"And for our first dance, after we got married."

Upon discovering their love for the song, Haymitch agreed to perform it at their wedding reception as a present.

"I remember. I remember everything about you," he answered. They swayed together as the rest of the room fell away and the words washed over them.

_I tried to give you consolation_

_When your old man had let you down._

_Like a fool, I fell in love with you,_

_Turned my whole world upside down._

_Layla, you've got me on my knees._

_Layla, I'm begging, darling please._

_Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind._

"I love you so much, Katniss Mellark," Peeta whispered, hugging her body closer to him. "Thank you for coming with me." He leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss. She could taste the oaky taste of the whisky he had been drinking all night, combined with the tequila shot he must have just had with Delly. When they pulled apart, his eyes were glassy and watery. She ran her thumb under one eye and wiped away a tear that was forming.

"Ready to head out?"

Peeta nodded. "Are they?"

Katniss looked over her shoulder to where a very inebriated Delly was nearly asleep on her feet in Darius' arms. "Yeah. It's probably best to get the cheerleader home."

* * *

"Darius, you remember what I said!" Katniss called from the car.

Darius turned and gave her a look. "Katniss. I am literally carrying this girl into the hotel. You really think I'm going to try anything? Good night, lovebirds."

"Night!" Peeta called from the passenger seat. "Sweet dreams!"

"Peeta! Shut up!" Katniss hushed. She rolled the window back up and looked over at her very drunk husband. "You need to stay conscious enough to help me find your house," she warned.

He scoffed. "Oh, yeah, I can do that. I can get annnnywhere in this town drunk. I'll even show you the back roads so you don't get pulled over by the cops."

"Well since I haven't been drinking, I think the main road will be just fine," she answered. It took a while, and a few wrong turns, but eventually they made it back to his parents' home. What she hadn't considered was how to get him inside and into their room without waking up his parents. As unpleasant as Mrs. Mellark was, Katniss imagined she was even more so at 2 a.m. when faced with a drunken son. "Peeta, we're home."

"This isn't a damn home," he spat. "This is a house where the devil lives."

"Okay, honey, you can't say that when we get inside."

"Why? Will I wake the devil?" He asked with a laugh.

Katniss panicked. "Yes. Yes you will. And I'm not prepared to deal with her. So please, honey, for me?"

And those, apparently, were the magic words for Peeta. "Anything for you, my wife." And he was as quiet as he could be, given his natural heavy gait and iniebriated state. But they made it to the bedroom without waking anyone up, which Katniss chalked up as a success. What she didn't anticipate was that as soon as they closed the bedroom door, Peeta would press himself against her, his lips connecting with the sensitive skin on her neck.

"Peeta," she whispered. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, continuing to kiss her. "It's prom night, baby." He ran his hands up her bare thighs, past the lace fabric of her skirt, to her core. "You wanted this earlier, remember?"

She had to hold tightly to the doorknob to keep her knees from buckling when he shoved the fabric of her panties aside and began rubbing her clit with his thumb. "Yeah, but, Peeta..."

"No 'buts'. I'm going to fuck you tonight," he murmured in her ear as he slid a finger into her. She had to use fabric from his shirt to muffle her cries as he pumped into her. "You were wonderful, my love. You always are. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. And I'm going to make you feel how wonderful you are." And there, against his bedroom door, Peeta made her come once with his fingers.

When she regained feeling in her legs, it didn't take long for them to shed the remainder of their clothes. Any hangups either had about have sex in his parents' home was lost when he laid her down on his bed and slid into her with ease. She tried, as hard as possible, to keep her breathy moans to a dull roar but found it to be too difficult and had to use a pillow it instead. Sex with Peeta was always good. But drunk sex with Peeta was a totally different animal. It always reminded her of their first night together, when he made her fall apart with ease and encouraged her and made her feel desired. Even now, years later, he still made her feel like she was the only one he ever wanted. He hooked one of her legs over his shoulder and kissed the inside of her ankle as he drove deeper into her. This small act of intimacy against his rough thrusts was what made her know that it was always an act of love. No matter what they were doing, they loved each other more than anyone else in the world. No one would ever again be able to question their love.

He came with a loud moan that she immediately rose to smother with her kiss, which shifted his position inside her just enough to set her off as well. Their cries melded together into one between their lips. He rummaged around for a towel in his bag and handed it to her first, before cleaning himself off. "I love you, Katniss Mellark," he whispered breathlessly into her ear.

"I love you more."

"My darling, you were wonderful tonight."

Katniss smiled and settled against him, reveling both in the feel of her husband against her and the knowledge that they just gave Peeta's mother a 'fuck you'.  _No one should ever have taken away the innocence of this perfect man_ , she thought.

* * *

"Peeta?" Katniss called from the bathroom after they arrived back home to their California apartment. "Can you come here?"

He set down his notebook, having been right in the middle of writing a new song. "Really? In the bathroom?"

"Yeah. Please?" Her voice had an edge of anxiety that it didn't normally, so he figured he might as well figure out what was going on. He opened the door and found her sitting on a closed toilet, holding a small piece of plastic.

"What's going on?"

She looked up at him, tears forming in her eyes and a smile on her face. "We're going to have a baby."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed Alece's birthday in the big move, so this is a very belated gift for her from the story that brought us together. It is an outtake, set in the future. I hope she enjoys it as much as I've enjoyed her friendship Love you!
> 
> So many many thanks to sunfish for agreeing to beta this like the madwoman she is. Thanks to wollaston for her help as well! Just like in the original story, I don't own "Layla" it was written by Eric Clapton.
> 
> On a fiiiiinal note: Please be sure to check out and consider donating to Fandom4LLS. There are some amazing writers from multiple fandoms writing for charity. A $10 donation will get you a sneak peak at these stories, a full 3 months before they'll be published anywhere else. My story for there is almost finished and then I'll be back hard at work on A Fine Line to Cross.
> 
> As always, thanks to everyone who has supported this endeavor!


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